Nov 29th 2012 08:24 am On Paper


Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
I’ve had a lot of fun over the years at the expense of home-and-garden type magazines. Don’t get me wrong; I enjoy perusing such publications. If I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t bother to poke fun at them. However, most of us have fallen into the trap, seen something in a magazine and said, “Wouldn’t that be great?” But the articles featuring many of these projects, especially the architectural projects, should begin with the sentence, “Get a million dollars somehow.” Or sometimes the projects, such as the adorable garden shed, don’t look quite so adorable once they’re standing in your backyard. Tant pis!. It’s all about the journey, n’est-ce pas?

Posted by jimmyjohnson / Vintage A&J

257 Responses to “On Paper”

  1. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:34 am #

    Jimmy, I’m sorry your aunt is having urinary problems.

  2. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:35 am #

    Ah, a philosophical sign of regret. But you’re right, Mr. Johnson, except that the phrase should probably be, “Get two hundred million somehow.” allowing for inflation…Until I started debauching with John, I was once a very shy, prim and proper young lady, still am, in fact, but I never went so far as to tape over the peep hole in the door…although I wonder which door Arlo meant…

    Re today’s real-time A&J, I loved it! BUT! I’ve never understood the feminine hoo-hah over leaving a toilet seat up. I have to admit, I’ve spent a lot of time where the male influence in toilets has been limited [see ladies restrooms, Ghost], but I’ve had to lower the lids on numerous occasions. Even before John pointed out the fact, though, I couldn’t see the real issue. I mean, men have to RAISE the seats after women and yet I never rarely not really very often hear a man gripe about that. So what’s the big deal? If they can raise the seat, why can’t women LOWER it? Except that, as dear sainted Mother used to say, “If the seat is down, it’s a bathroom fixture; if the seat is up it’s a toilet.” I do recall a [perhaps not] funny incident when I had business at a certain school run by nuns in the New Orleans area. I couldn’t resist, the Devil made me do it, but I did happen to accidentally not really on purpose and not with any malicious intent, etc., RAISE the seat on just one such fixture in the Nuns’ faculty restroom. JUST ONE, mind you! Sister Mary Josef Mengele was not a happy camper, I tell you, cher, no! But why did she blame ME??????

  3. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:35 am #

    Eeeeew! Leave it to Ghost!

  4. Bob, near Mark on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:37 am #

    I was going to brush up on my French, but… Never mind!

  5. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:43 am #

    What, Mindy?

    In answer to your question earlier this ayem, like Dave’s, one of my browsers (the one I use less often) is set to do that when it closes. When I shut down one of my personal machines for the day, my routine is to use the free version of Ccleaner by Piriform. (You may google for it if you like.) It’s a pretty neat program one of the IT guys installed it on my desktop at work a year or so ago. (I didn’t tell him I’d been using it at home for years. You know how IT guys are.) I’ve found that Ccleaner is a quick and easy way to brush my cache and comb my registry.

    As to why you are wanting to know, Ghost has learned there are some questions one does not ask a lady, even if one has been “just one of the girls” for years. He had lunch with five of his (female) cohorts yesterday, and after listening to them dish for an hour, Ghost is still blushing.

  6. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:49 am #

    Lids down in our house to keep the cats out. Bathing cats a cat is never a fun undertaking.

    Mindy, gave you my take on the cache issue on yesterdays posting.

  7. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:50 am #

    See,Siri struck again.

  8. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:00 am #

    An uncle once hired a carpenter to build a 12 x 12 storage shed behind his second residence while he was not there. Due to a miscommunication between the two of them regarding the desired pitch of the roof, the structure was like 16 feet high at its peak. My uncle dubbed it the “giraffe house.”

  9. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:06 am #

    John says I’m going to burn for the Sister Mary Josef Mengele comment. Well, it wasn’t mine! I stole it from the girls at the school!!!! Ghost, other than once being thrown into one as a prank [I did get my revenge] my experience in male-designated restrooms [that's for boys and men] is limited, almost non-existant. But John [no pun intended, Ghost or sandcastler or any other guys so eager to pounce on one misspoken word] tells me that the writings and scribblings on the WOMENS’ restroom walls is a hundred times saucier and raunchier and dirty than what is found in the MENS’ restroom. I asked how he happened to get so much experience in the Ladies’ Room and, just before I beat him with a wet dishcloth, he said that was because he was such a stud and the ladies kept dragging him in there. I’m just sayin’…but, I pointed out to him, that was back in the day…before the day.

  10. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:07 am #

    Oh, and Ghost? I don’t Google. I Bing. :)

  11. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:15 am #

    Mindy, the scenario I’ve heard runs something like this:

    1. Female spouse/partner arises in the middle of the night to go micturate.

    2. Female spouse/partner neglects to turn on bathroom light before assuming the position on the toilet.

    3. Female spouse/partner only then discovers that male spouse/partner has neglected to lower the toilet seat.

    4. Male spouse/partner is awaken by curses and screams that question his ancestry and suggest he do something physically improbable to himself.

    I mention this because I’m sure it has not happened to you, as John is still able to post to this blog.

  12. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:22 am #

    Mindy,
    First, it hurts me that you don’t use Google. Try it please. If you have and had issues go to the online tutorial, an excellent guide on searching the internet.
    Second, was the men’s room experience in a church basement when you were about age fourteen?

  13. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:22 am #

    Is it just me, or has today’s discussion taken a sudden and rather odd turn? And that’s never happened here before. :D

  14. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:26 am #

    sandcastler: “Lids down in our house to keep the cats out.” Most of you have probably never had captive Northern or Southern flying squirrels as caged pets. If you do, and find one has escaped, you go to the bathroom and pick its soggy carcass out of the toilet. Even if drinking water is plentiful in their cages, first place they head for is an open toilet for a drink.

    I’d heard about this from U. Mich. Museum of Zoology grad student colleagues and it happened to us anyway. Fortunately, all four of her pups were weaned.

  15. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:38 am #

    As a matter of fact, eMb, I have had flying squirrels as pets. None have drowned. All have been issued USCG approved water survival gear. :) Ghost, thank you for that enlightened and detailed thesis on the Necessity of Keeping It Up. I guess my problem is that I’ve been trained to always look before sitting and I believe in nightlights. I am trying Ccleaner, however. Now, sandcastler, in all sincerity and with great empathy and a strong nurturing instinct, why, exactly, does it hurt you that I don’t use Google? Lord knows I don’t sing the praises of Microsoft, but Bing, in my opinion, which is worth little or nothing, just works better and faster and cleaner. No really bad experiences with Google, except that they collect user data just as blatantly as MS does. Personal preference, I reckon, just like I refuse to drink water bottled in Mexico.

  16. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:53 am #

    Mindy, I just have a close, personal relationship with Google, so I hype the goods whenever the opportunity arises.

  17. Neal in Bahstawn on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:54 am #

    Sommes-nous parler en français aujourd’hui? Quel plaisir!

  18. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:55 am #

    Then I’ll use Google half the time, fair enough, sandcastler? [Almost] anything for my other sweetie! ;)

  19. Shelly on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:00 am #

    Oui, nous parlons français et aujourd’hui, non, nous n’avons pas de bananes. Et qu’est-il arrivé à la Vierge Mindy? Oh, boy, I hope I got that right. With my luck I just hailed a taxi and ordered a ton of spoiled tuna!

  20. Blinky the Wonder Wombat on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:01 am #

    eMb-

    What do Northern flying squirrels get to the North pole? Do they turn around and become Southern flying squirrels?

  21. John in Virginia on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:04 am #

    Oh, boy, indeed! Kaj kion ajn okazis al la Virgulino Mindy? I think she eble sentis nevolatajn kaj maldekstra, doma?e. Mi kredas ke ?i estas oportuna aldono. Hah! Now top that, fellow…fellow what? What are we?

  22. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:20 am #

    For the record, John emailed a friend for that “message” in Esperanto, or whatever it is, and now he can’t remember what it means! Typical male.

  23. Dave in MA on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Mindy says, “I don’t Google. I Bing.”

    My response? My condolences. I’ve never found a single useful search result from Bing. As for tracking, I don’t log in to google mail or google+ or anything google related unless I am directly using that, so all they can track is what IP I come from and what cookies tell them (and that’s presuming I didn’t block their cookies).

    As for reading the ladies’ room walls, I did that when I was a janitor and had to clean them. And I often found the toilets in the ladies’ room were FAR more filthy than the ones in the men’s room.

    Glad I got my degree and got out of that type of job. Someone has to do it, but I’m glad it’s not me anymore.

    GR6, “before assuming the position on the toilet” would probably be more laughable if it was “before assuming the position OF the toilet SEAT”. Then I could make a joke about the meaning of the word ASSuME. But alas, not what you wrote, and therefore not what you intended. :(

  24. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:41 am #

    Mais oui, M. Neal!

    Mindy, you may have noticed I use the lower-case verb “google” rather than the upper noun “Google.” One should use the search engine that works best for one, or as a French ghostette once told me, “Ce qui fonctionne pour vous.”

    Excusez-moi, Shelly. For a moment there I thought you trying to solicit me for a ménage à trois with you and Virgin Mindy.

    Knock yourself out, Dave. :)

  25. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:45 am #

    Ghost, installed CCleaner. No HELP. Skeered of what I’m going to “clean” after “analyze.” Where do I get HELP files? I am so confusicated and John is screaming at me!

  26. Dave in MA on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:13 am #

    Mindy,

    Generally your browsing history is not needed.

    There are some sites that will set a cookie which lets you remain logged in so that the next time you come to the site, it has you logged in and knows it’s you (for example Amazon) and if you delete that cookie, the worst that happens is that you have to login again.

    As for the actual cached files, they aren’t needed except to speed up browsing. You go to a site and the site transfers to your computer and displays. That takes time. Next time you go to the site, it instead reads the cache, that tekes a lot less time. You clear the cache and you simply go back to their server for the information the next time you first load that particular webpage.

    There are also form data caches in some (most?) browsers that simply know what you typed last time. For example, you go to facebook a lot? Next time you go, notice that you type the first couple letters of your email address in the login form and it suggests what you are typing so you can simply click it rather than completing typing it. That form data can be used to get information about you if you are attacked by malware.

    It’s generally safe to clear everything and start fresh and much riskier to keep some of that data out there on your hard drive.

  27. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:15 am #

    Embrace the internet and become one with it. The Chinese already know where you live and what you purchase from the tracking tags at Walmart.

  28. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:19 am #

    Mindy, go to http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner and look under “More information:” for FAQ, etc.

    Trust Ccleaner, it works. The warning is just that…when the files are deleted, they are gone-gone. But that’s the whole point of the exercise. If you or John are not comfortable with what Analyze shows will be deleted, change the file selections on the left and run Analyze again. But as Dave points out, you are not going to lose any files that actually matter.

    If you use the Registry cleaner, DO use the registry backup feature first. But I never had a problem with it.

  29. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:29 am #

    By the way, the spirit of Christmas apparently does still live in the hearts of some…

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/nypd-boots-homeless-man-photo-145219581.html

  30. phil in Missoula, MT on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:33 am #

    One of my fellow database administrators had a sign on his door saying:
    “No amount of screaming will bring your data back”

  31. phil in Missoula, MT on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:45 am #

    As for the lidup/lid down controversy, if you’re irritated by the wrong state of the facility, consider that you could be stuck with using a hole in the floor with no lid at all. Been there and done that (in Italy , no less) and it’s pretty much unsafe, unsanitary and unaesthetic.

  32. Dave in MA on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:51 am #

    Ghost Rider 6, thanks for that link. You made my day.

  33. TruckerRon on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:54 am #

    The Japanese are very safe, neurotic about sanitation, and as a group a bit overly aesthetic. Yet, the most commonly available washroom fixture is a porcelain version of a hole in the floor:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squat_toilet

  34. TruckerRon on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:57 am #

    Thanks for that link about the officer and the guy helped, GR6.

  35. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:29 pm #

    Mindy, your story of coldcocking a mugger with a book came to mind this morning when I saw the Word of the Day on dictionary.com is “biblioklept.” Was the miscreant also charged with “attempted bibliokleptcy”?

  36. Bob, near Mark on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:29 pm #

    Who cares about up-lids or down-lids. I want to know if the bathroom tissue rolls over the top or from underneath! Or do you just hang it on a nail? :-)

  37. Mindy from Indy on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:33 pm #

    Easy way to fix the seat up/down debate: Everyone close the lid. (And if more people realized just how far splashes of EWWW de toilet water went, they’d keep the lid down anyway. Think of your toothbrushes!)

    Both today’s and yesterday’s real-time strips gave me a good chuckle. Arlo and strange emails? Never would have made the connection! ;-)

    Stephen King wrote a great short story involving bathroom graffiti: “Everything You Love Will Be Carried Away.” King admits to writing down good graffiti. I’ve done that once, and I still laugh every time I read that particular poem.

    Headed back into work. Someone please take a nap for me, I’ll enjoy it in spirit!

  38. Mindy from Indy on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:36 pm #

    Bob, near Mark, According to the experts at Charmin (I believe.) in a Reader’s Digest article years ago, it is supposed to roll from the top so you don’t get so much spin and can control the amount of paper. And no, I don’t know why I remember these things.

  39. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:45 pm #

    Top roller family. ;-)

  40. Ginger in Auburn on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    J’adore la langue français.

  41. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:54 pm #

    Bob, according to my Dad, when he was young, proper privy etiquette was to tear off the Sears catalog pages from the top first.

  42. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    As I believe that I have mentioned here before, the lid is DOWN in our home after my wife sent her Grandma’s engagement ring that she had just inherited down while she was flushing.

    In regards to Toilet Paper, ours is in a decorative tin next to the toilet as our young cats think that they are in high school as they like to drag the roll all through the house and eat it. Even before they arrived, it never was a bone of contention. Who Cares which way it rolls???

  43. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    BTW, Mindy, did you earlier mean to say “the Necessity of Keeping It Down,” when you said “the Necessity of Keeping It Up”?

    Also, have you met Sigmund Freud?

  44. Ruth on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:15 pm #

    My teenage daughter uses the TP as a form of rebellion. She puts the TP on to roll underneath while her dad and I put the TP on to roll from the top. She used to put the TP on to roll form the top but when she turned 13 she magically switched to rolling it from under. It’s amazing how she can turn the simplest thing into a power struggle.

    As for seat up or down, the first time my husband sat down on the COLD porcelain in the middle of the night after he forget to put the seat back down he realized just why I got so miffed about it. We’ve never had to have that conversation again and he has never forgetten to put the seat down again.

  45. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:18 pm #

    Toilet etiquette; who would ever think A&J would be the place to learn about: lid up or lid down, paper over the top or under, or proper sequencing of catalog pages in the outhouse. Here I am trying to keep the world going only to learn the throne is the thing.

  46. Dave in MA on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:32 pm #

    Ruth, are you sure it’s your daughter that is having this power struggle?

  47. Neal in Bahstawn on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:43 pm #

    I thought this entire discussion of TP was getting completely off topic until I realized that the header of today’s retro strip is ‘On Paper’

    Je ne peux pas attendre de voir ce qui se passe ici à côté!

  48. Mindy on 29 Nov 2012 at 1:49 pm #

    1. Thanks for the CClean Help info. 2. I had an appointment to meet the guy, but my Fruedian Slip was showing and I went home to change into slacks so he went to Hapsburg for a Happening. 3. Talk about NYC cold…ConEd and Manhattan Power [I believe I have the second company name correct] sent our FULL BILLS for NORMAL usage to people who have been without electrical service since Sandy as if the storm damage had never occurred, so talk about Scrooge, Incorporated! 4. I forgot what that was. 5. John is a model builder, particularly dioramas, but he worked out his own 1:12 scale and build a wood Johnny House complete with mesh screen at the top, toilet paper next to the [one] hole, and a stack of magazines and newspapers. He said he was going to run a line to some sort of mustard light just to give it class but never did. There are several puns and crude comments here but I shan’t use a one. 6. Doesn’t “Top Roller” and “Bottom Roller” refer to types of pigeons? Or hawks? 7. Does CCleaner take out anything other than what would be non-operational temporary junk? I have a movie program and PhotoShop and don’t want to lose anything that makes them tick! 8. I worked on bamboo today even though I have a cold, John is highly perturbed and I think he’s going to spank me. :) Bye bye.

  49. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    Mindy, for what’s that worth, I’ve used the standard Ccleaner settings for years and have never had a problem with it deleting anything I needed to keep.

    Also, I’m no expert, but it seems to me that cold weather, when the bamboo is stiff, would be the ideal time to whack it off.

  50. Blinky the Wonder Wombat on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    GR6-

    Base on the imbedded title in the url you posted, I assumed the NYPD had put a boot on a homeless parking scofflaw.

  51. Dave in MA on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    GR6, sigh, really? You had to go there…… :)

  52. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:22 pm #

    “A cigar is sometimes just a cigar.”

  53. Bob, near Mark on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:22 pm #

    My grandparents’ outhouse did not come equipped with the pages of Mr Sears or Mr Roebuck, but there were a few selections of Bettie Page tucked into the corner.

  54. David in Austin on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:26 pm #

    I didn’t know that corn cobs had a top or bottom… catalogs stopped being useful for the privy when they started making them with shiny, slick, pages. The old newsprint style paper was much more efficient. Of course, the pictures in the new Sears & Roebuck were much nicer!

    ; )

  55. David in Austin on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    I may have never mentioned that I grew up in rural Arkansas…

  56. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    Dave, we used comic book pages in Vietnam when the TP ran short; shortages were a common supply chain problem. Those slick, ‘high quality,’ publications would only work with massive amounts of crumpling, think paper cuts. :’(

  57. PostMuse on 29 Nov 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    In our house the toilet lid is always down, mostly so that we can both pretend the other cleaned the bowl. And the TP goes over the top, which is something I didn’t know there was a debate about until I met my significant other. He was quite vehement about the way the roll goes on the holder. And then quite surprised by the amount of TP I keep on hand at all times … I’m always worried we will run out. Must have been a traumatic childhood experience that I’ve blocked.

    Yesterday I posted a comment about vintage postage, and included some links to my favorite Smithsonian site. I used HTML for the links, and the post didn’t go through because it needs approval. I am wondering if HTML is not allowed and I should avoid it. I see a link posted to the touching story of the NYC policeman, so perhaps that is the proper etiquette?

  58. Mark in TTown on 29 Nov 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    TruckerRon, I think that the Japanese toilet is a throwback to the time before most of them began to wear Western style clothing. When wearing a kimono it is probably a real hassle to use a Western style commode. The worst experience I had with Japanese restrooms was on a train. Try to keep your balance in a moving vehicle!

  59. Mark in TTown on 29 Nov 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    While squatting over that porcelain slit trench!

  60. Mary in Ohio on 29 Nov 2012 at 3:47 pm #

    Quel fromage! (which I once asked the French teacher to translate. She suggested I had the spelling wrong)

  61. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    PostMuse, clever callsign by the way, I know if no protocol on posting links. I copy mine from the browser search window. My browser is Google Chrome, see the company theme? I do know that Jimmy has somethings set for moderation until he deems you full fledged member. Anyone with greater wisdom or knowledge of the inner workings, speak up.

  62. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    “What do Northern flying squirrels [do when they?] get to the North [P]ole? Do they turn around and become Southern flying squirrels?” I presume that’s what was meant? Like lemmings, when they march N. into Hudson’s Bay or the Arctic Ocean, they drown in droves. [And, like lemmings, they don't really do this, but it sure makes a good cartoon situation.]

    Whatever, N. America has only two species of flying squirrels, both small: Southerns about as heavy as various chipmunks, Northerns a bit larger. There are other spp. in Asia, both small and large. Since their big adaptation is gliding from high perches to lower ones, they inhabit only forested areas.

    Northerns range as far n. as treeline in AK and Can. and s. into the western mountains [Rockies, Cascades, Sierras, but not into Mexico, I think], across Can. into Lab. and Newfld, and s. to ne ND, n. central MN, n. WI, n. Lower MI, s. Ont., NY, New Engl., most of PA, and s. well into the Appalachians.

    Southerns range from the Midwestern prairie edge e. through most of the e. US, NE except for ME, southernmost Ont., and all but southernmost FL. There is also a disjunct population of Southerns in a mt. range in eastern Mex.

    I believe Northerns typically have only one litter per summer, and probably can handle the cold better because they are larger. Southerns typically have two litters per summer, and may therefore out-compete Northerns in warmer climes. There is a narrow range of overlap in central MN and WI, n. Lower MI, NY, PA, and the Appalachians, where the two spp. may be separated mostly by altitude. I’ve not run into professional papers on behavioral interactions btw. the two spp., but then, I’m not as up-to-date on the literature as I once was. 302 8.2

    P.S. Both are cute as can be. Southerns usually have pure white belly fur. Northerns have white fronts also, but the hairs are usually slate-colored at the base.

  63. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:05 pm #

    PostMuse: I think you’re more likely to go into moderation if you post a message with > 1 website.

  64. Robin in Fl on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:11 pm #

    Mark in TTown

    had that same rockin and rollin experience on a train in Turkey! Just don’t look down at the tracks under your..feet.

  65. sandcastler on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:13 pm #

    Ahhh,thanks for the extra words EMB,

  66. Mark in Boston on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:24 pm #

    You only have to drop your toothbrush in the toilet once to develop the habit of closing the lid every time.

    And as Mindy from Indy points out, if you flush with the lid up you don’t have to drop your toothbrush in the toilet.

  67. Lost in A**2 on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:51 pm #

    PostMuse, we’ll have to go back to look at your comments after they have been moderated. I write HTML by hand.

    Mary, c’est domage.

  68. curmudgeonly ex-professor on 29 Nov 2012 at 5:16 pm #

    As an avid devourer of same, I say “Vive le ‘fromage’”! Or ought that be “la”?

  69. Mark in TTown on 29 Nov 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    As long as we are taking language lessons here, I found a link useful for those who’re trying to use Scots dialect: http://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Scots-English-Scots_dictionary

  70. Mark in TTown on 29 Nov 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    Whoops, put in one too many letters
    http://sco.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Scots-English-Scots_dictionar

  71. TruckerRon on 29 Nov 2012 at 6:37 pm #

    Cats are a reason to reverse the toilet paper, so they can’t spin it off the roll:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SjGpgnN760

  72. Blinky the Wonder Wombat on 29 Nov 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    eMb-

    This is curious. That is exactly what I typed and what shows up on my screen. Did it show up on your screen in the truncated form you (successfully) interpreted?

  73. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:16 pm #

    Ref yesterday’s cartoon, I hope the G-men (I’ll bet John in Virgin has a different nickname for them) are only investigating “improper emails” and not “improper blog posts.”

    Lady Mindy, would you care to share your funny graffiti poem? Heck, I wrote one recently, so that would only seem fair.

  74. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 8:17 pm #

    s/b “John in Virginia.” I blame Siri.

  75. PostMuse on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:05 pm #

    Pay no attention. I’m testing HTML. One of my favorite postage stamps.

  76. PostMuse on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:12 pm #

    Well, it wasn’t the HTML yesterday that got me moderated since my Arago link posted above. Must have been a fluke.

    There’s a site that pokes fun at the pictures in catalogs by imagining the conversation between the two fictional characters, Elaine and Gary, who live in the homes featured. The author is on hiatus for a the rest of the year, but the site is still up. Busy site with too much stuff, so I read it via RSS, but here ’tis http://catalogliving.net/

  77. Mark in TTown on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:16 pm #

    TruckerRon, thanks for the video link. Better unrolling than shredding the roll and leaving it on the holder. Unless you think it’s funny for someone to get caught on the toilet, calling for another roll of paper. (I know from experience).

  78. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    Blinky: Here’s what your post says:

    What do Northern flying squirrels get to the North pole? Do they turn around and become Southern flying squirrels?

    emb

  79. Ghost Rider 6 on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:00 pm #

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/nypd-boots-homeless-man-photo-145219581.html

    Yeah, Blinky, either that or that the NYPD had kicked some homeless guy out of town. Fortunately, it was a much nicer story than that.

  80. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 29 Nov 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    I’ve found that saying “Sweetheart, my computer is acting weird” is all I need to do to get any repair work done. Mostly because when I say that I am taking over his computer for the duration, and if he wants it back he fixes mine.:-)

    We are an over-hang family, which is why we keep the bathroom doors closed, except for the upstairs bathroom, which is where the litter boxes are. My son, who has the upstairs area, frequently has ragged TP issues. And while on the subject of lids/seats, years ago when I first got my Live Journal account, I wrote a short essay on why the subject irritated me so much. I had just read a magazine article in which some woman made the comment that a man had done something wrong by leaving the seat up. My first thought was “that might be irksome but not wrong”, and then “Go in the bathroom and take a good look at the seat. Right there, where it attaches to the main part of the toilet. See those things? They are called hinges, and they allow the seat to be raised and lowered. I assure you that you are capable of lowering the seat all by yourself if you practice just a little. It won’t hurt at all, and you won’t even break a fingernail. See? I knew you could do it. I’m proud of you!” Of course, at the time we had to leave the door open for the cats to get to the litterbox, so the lid was always down.

  81. TruckerRon on 30 Nov 2012 at 12:10 am #

    Since no one else has posted this…

    Song: Ode de Toilet (The Toilet Song)
    Artist: Brad Paisley

    She says not to buy her flowers
    Or big expensive gifts
    She says she don’t want jewlery
    And she doesn’t need another dress
    If I want to show her how much I adore her
    The best way that I’ve found
    Is to make sure when I’m finished
    I put that toilet seat down…

    (For the full lyrics, go to:

    http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/paisley-brad/ode-de-toilet-the-toilet-song-17185.html

  82. Mindy on 30 Nov 2012 at 2:06 am #

    John says he wouldn’t touch the “John in Virgin” line with the proverbial

  83. Shelly on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:57 am #

    Proverbial what? Or did John touch…ah, forgeddaboutit.

  84. Ruth Anne in Winter Park on 30 Nov 2012 at 6:18 am #

    TruckerRon – I enjoyed the cat video but of course, like potato chips, I couldn’t stop with one. This one made us laugh even harder – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQbHS4YJOMc
    My husbands swears that our next cat WILL learn to use the toilet like this (maybe not the paper part) and free us from litter box duty!

  85. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 30 Nov 2012 at 7:27 am #

    I went to bed early last night as my hip has been waking me up in pain lately. I had a few weird dreams, but not as weird as a friend who tweeted:

    I had a dream last night that I was a muffler. Don’t know what it means, but this morning I woke up exhausted.

  86. John in Virginia on 30 Nov 2012 at 7:35 am #

    Ironic, Steve, Mindy is exhausted as well. Hmmm. Shelly, I think Mindy meant “with the proverbial ten-foot pole,” but I’m not sure. I spend a lot of my time not being sure what she means, meant or will mean. At this point all I remember is that I remember when I could remember.

  87. sandcastler on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:04 am #

    Spent last evening with a Texas Ranger, woke up this morning frazzeled.

  88. Mindy on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:11 am #

    Define “Frazzeled.”

  89. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:50 am #

    I woke up this morning, and now I’m trying to remember why, and why I got out of bed. Flannel sheets are so comfortable!

  90. Mindy on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:55 am #

    Don’t forget the fuzzy bunny shoes, Jean.

  91. Neal in Bahstawn on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Woke up this morning with light in my eyes, and then realized it was still dark outside.
    It was a light coming down from the sky; I don’t know who or why.
    Must be those strangers that come every night; those saucer shaped lights put people uptight.
    Leave blue-green footprints that glow in the dark; I hope they get home all right.

  92. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:11 am #

    Mindy, always remember the fuzzy bunny slippers!

    Neal in Bahstawn-As I was going down the stairs I met a man who wasn’t there.
    He wasn’t there again today. I wish, I wish, he’d go away.

  93. Blinky the Wonder Wombat on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:12 am #

    Neal in Bahstawn must have been flying eight miles high.

    As for me, woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.

  94. Dave in MA on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:51 am #

    John has a ten foot pole? That might explain a few things. (Bet it’s made of bamboo!)

  95. Dave in MA on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:56 am #

    Blinky, did you have a smoke when you made your way downstairs?

  96. Neal in Bahstawn on 30 Nov 2012 at 10:37 am #

    Dave, he’s not listening. Somebody spoke and he went into a dream.

  97. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 30 Nov 2012 at 11:36 am #

    But Blinky, I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings. The six o’clock alarm would never ring.

  98. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 30 Nov 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    John: Mindy was not in my dream, but you never know, that muffler might have snuck over my eyes and I didn’t see her.

  99. Ghost Rider 6 on 30 Nov 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Steve From ROM, that’s still not as bad as “I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was missing.”

    I wouldn’t touch a cliché with a proverb

  100. sandcastler on 30 Nov 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    Belated, by or ‘alf a day, Joyous St. Andrew’s Day to all. Support the Scottish National Party in freeing the people of Scotland from the British yoke.

  101. Dave in MA on 30 Nov 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    Steve From Royal Oak, MI, what type of muffler? Automotive or cold weather fashion?

    As for those wondering about moderation, you post more than one URL in a message and it tends to wait for moderation. Your first time posting will go to moderation too.

  102. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 30 Nov 2012 at 2:43 pm #

    I did mix my definitions, didn’t I? That is the beauty of a joke, I guess. The original joke was automotive, but then John asked if Mindy was in it, so I made it the cold weather kind.

    I loved the music lyric posts to my dream. One of my favorite lyrics is “Does anyone know what time it is? Does anybody really care. Twenty five or six to four”

    So I drempt that I got shot. What kind of gun shot me? “22, 23, whatever it takes”

  103. Mindy on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    “Twenty-five or six to four” means 4:35 or 4:46. :) And a “Three Dog Night” means?

  104. Mindy on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    I just realized the potential for disaster there. Ghost! You may NOT answer the Three Dog query!

  105. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    Yes I know what a a Three Dog Night is. I have three cats at home and sometimes plug in “cat’ for Dog.

  106. Lost in A**2 on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    Uh . . . ’twas 3:34 or 3:35, and Chicago.

  107. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:40 pm #

    Around here we have a “Two Dog One Cat Night”.

  108. Mindy from Indy on 30 Nov 2012 at 5:12 pm #

    Man, you all have been hitting the egg big HARD. ;-) Thanks for the laughs.

    Ghost, That poem isn’t very nice and I’m not quite sure where I’ve put it. Let me get back to you one that.

  109. Ghost Rider 6 on 30 Nov 2012 at 5:28 pm #

    Lady Mindy, if you can’t find the poem (right!), then perhaps a précis? A summarization? A paraphrasation? I might be able to guess the rest. ;)

  110. Ghost Rider 6 on 30 Nov 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Mindy, your prohibition against me commenting on “Three Dog Night” obviously assumes that my response would be at least suggestive, and possibly downright salacious.

    Ye know me all too well, cailín.

  111. Lost in A**2 on 30 Nov 2012 at 7:02 pm #

    PostMuse, I went back and looked at your moderated post from “Picket LIne.” The problem was most likely that you included two links. I like your use of HTML, by the way: I’ve never liked the “Click *HERE* to see something” style.

  112. sandcastler on 30 Nov 2012 at 7:46 pm #

    PostMuse, like the use of HTML in postings. My gripe is without either underling or contrasting color these links vanish on mobile screens. Effect design of web page presentation needs to consider that a significant group will be visiting your page on four to ten inch screens.

  113. sandcastler on 30 Nov 2012 at 7:47 pm #

    Effective design…….

  114. Lost in A**2 on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:00 pm #

    Actually, the identification of hyperlinks is a client, not a server, issue. I’m going to have to find the settings page for my browser, too, sandcastler.

  115. sandcastler on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:19 pm #

    Lost in A**2, never, ever, push the issue to the client if you want to keep or get a customer. My browser has no problems with sites were the coder snipped in an extra bit of code to assure the reader can clearly see a link.

    Sorry, this is a hot button issue I deal with too often. Spending a great part of my day on: cellphone, tablet, and laptop these little issues fester. Too many startups die for the small omissions, a major part of my time is spent trying to assure they get a fair chance at survival. A major part of good coding is great UI design, enough said.

    Rant over, have a nice evening.

  116. Lost in A**2 on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:31 pm #

    I’ve done a page or two of HTML; I’ve never (before) seen a problem with the identificatio of hyperlinks. After stating that it was a client issue, I went off to solve my problem. I looked through my browser’s settings and the help files for my mobile device. I then looked at some other pages and realised that you were right: the poor identification of links is specific to this site. I’m going to have look further to suggest a solution.

  117. Lost in A**2 on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:38 pm #

    By the way, links are a different colour and underlined on this site: the colour is slightly lighter than normal text, and the underlining is dashed.

  118. Charlotte in NH on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    Curmudgeonly ex-Prof, Thank you for your kind offer to help me with stamp information. I was going to write something this morning, but I overslept and the rest of the day got used up. As you recommended, I will ask Symply, but I haven’t seen him on the site recently; maybe he is travelling, or wandering in the North Woods (just kidding, too cold for that).

  119. Lost in A**2 on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:14 pm #

    I have chosen not to work with HTML style sheets. Still, I can read. I think the problem is with the definition of a link in the style sheet Mr. Johnson is using. In other words, it is the *presence* of a snippet of code, not the *absence*.

    pax.

  120. Mark in TTown on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:33 pm #

    sandcastler, I would like to arrange some suitable corrective behavior training for those who decide to use pale fonts on a white background for stories you are supposed to read. And also tiny fonts. My uncorrected eyesight is around 20/400 +6 and I simply give up trying to understand anything on those pages. I know IE will increase the size of some fonts, but not enough. Even with glasses I can’t read those pages. OK, I’m off my Ivory tower.

  121. Mark in Boston on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:52 pm #

    Grandmothers have a solution to the toilet-seat problem: A nice croched (is that the right spelling? crow-shayed) or knitted toilet-lid cover. It ties onto the lid and covers the top part of it completely. It’s so thick that when you put the lid up the line through the center of gravity is still on the front side of the hinge, so you have to hold it up by hand. If you don’t, the lid suddenly slams down on you.

  122. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 30 Nov 2012 at 11:08 pm #

    And a word here about unique bathrooms…a number of years ago one of Husband’s sisters (he has two) was married to a man who does home reconstruction-type work. They bought a small “fixer-upper” house in Atlanta, and as one of their projects took out the outside wall of the bathroom and replaced it with a sheet of plexiglass. Happily they had no neighbors to the back and they planted some rather large shrubs along their property line. Being in there was a bit of an experience. (She has since divorced that man and gone a-wandering. I tried really hard to see if we could keep him and divorce her, to no avail.)

    Mark in Boston, the word is “crocheted”. I know because I do a lot of it. The seat covers are a nice idea!

  123. Mark in TTown on 01 Dec 2012 at 1:14 am #

    Jean and Mark, yes the crocheted covers look nice, but they are impractical. For one thing, they tend to make the seat fall, which is really inconvenient for a guy. For another, as George Carlin said, “it just means it takes us guys that much longer to realize the lid wasn’t up.”.

  124. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 2:27 am #

    GOOOOOOD MORN-NING, A&JVILLE!!!

    In keeping with our current theme, Janis has a little case of potty-mouth today.

  125. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 4:09 am #

    Hello, Ghost. Hi, sandcastler, glad you’re over your rant [everyone gets to rant from time to time] and feel better. I’ll bake you some of my splendiferous Haight-Ashbury brownies.

  126. Debbe59 on 01 Dec 2012 at 4:41 am #

    A good morning to all and back at you GR…brownies you say Mindy. Many years ago I used to make the best “brownies” around. I could have made a fortune if they had medicinal maryjane back then. Ah, what I wouldn’t give for one now….going on my 9th straight day of cleaning 16,600 hen cages today. But, alas, my luck, tomorrow’s headline would read “stoned woman busted with head in hen cage!” Wouldn’t want to get to “clucked up”!!!!

  127. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:13 am #

    We would comb the area for you, Debbe! Oh, yeah, legal Mary-J back then…whooeee! Even John says it should be legalized and controlled for purity and additives. Far less damaging, I’ve read, than regular cigarettes. The taxation alone would be marvelous, the drug dealers would lose a major source of revenue, and the guys living up on the Russian River section, trying to avoid “civilization,” at least wouldn’t have to hide to avoid DEA as well. The irony is that John is one of those not-so-rare people who are allergic to the hemp product. I know of three cops in southwestern Virginia who have such allergies that their sinuses slam shut like a…well, Virgin Mary left so I won’t say that…steel door on a bank vault at the slightest whiff. The slightest whiff of marijuana, Ghost! Jeez. It was also great as a spice in Irish Stew.

    Not that I have even one second of personal experience with that other “Devil Weed,” the lesser of the two.

  128. Lost in A**2 on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:40 am #

    Yesterday, I saw an article discussing high-quality medical marijuana getting into the black-market trade. It’s sort of a two-edged sword for the retailers: the price is roughly double, but the entire difference can’t be passed on to the customers. The customers will pay more for the higher quality, but not *that* much more. On the other hand, some customers will buy only the better stuff; if it’s not available, they’ll wait until it is.

  129. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:42 am #

    I am shocked! Shocked! Do you hear? Well and truly shocked! I would never have suspected in my wildest Brownie-induced imagination that Janis would actually say ****!! at any time! She has always, in my Brownie-induced mind been as virginally prim and proper as I’ve always been! [That does not imply that I am Virgin Mindy, Ghost; personally, I suspect she was ye!] I couldn’t be more shocked if she’d said $$<*&@%$^# or #&(@^%#&^ or even *!*!*!

    [Jimmy, what, exactly, does ****!! mean?]

    I am shocked! Shocked! Do you hear? Well and…what, John? Really? Oh, well, okay then, I'm coming! Don't start without me!

  130. Jus Primae Noctus on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:47 am #

    Ach, Mindy, Lassie! An’ did ye ever go an’ leave yersel’ open fer th’ evil wiles an’ words uh yon Ghostie beastie! An’ ye who shud be knowin’ better!

  131. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 6:59 am #

    Oh, boy, I did, didn’t I? I’m going to stop coming in here except during the hours of 12:01 and 12:04 in the afternoon. [That's 1201-1204, Ghost and sandcastler.] And I know WHAT Jus Primae Noctus means, even if I only suspect the WHO [or WHOM, in case anyone cares to once again correct my grammar]. Trust me, Jus Primae Noctus was taken care of a long, long time ago [roughly 6 hours 37 minutes, give or take a little].

  132. Chris in South Jersey on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:08 am #

    Janis always struck me as a true Southern Lady. Just missing the “bless her heart”.

  133. John in Virginia on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:28 am #

    Chris in South Jersey, the “true Southern Lady” is a pleasure and a beauty to behold, for true. There is nothing like her in the entire world. (I’m really going to hack off the Yankees with that line, I betcha!) BUT! And there is always a BUT. Single T BUT, guys, before you get me really in a bind! And what is the BUT? There is nothing like a “true Southern Lady,” BUT….there is a Dark Side that can make Stephen King seem all normal! Or Ann Rice, to make the geographical areas balance out. Janis displayed just a quarter of a square centimeter this morning. I bet when the lady gets wound up she can go on a rip to make the mongol hordes cringe and tremble.

    Anyway, good morning, Chris, welcome to the Saturday Morning Playhouse for the Insane and Criminally Inclined.

  134. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:34 am #

    Mark, thanks for your response, you provide one more nail in the coffin of bad web design. IMHO the dot gov set is the worst of the lot. They are the perfect example of spaghetti design, where the direct route to your answer is a crooked path.

    Mindy, never saw you as the Baker of evil brownies. For shame girl, repent!

    I see this day that Arlo is a follower of Nassim Taleb, nothing is linear.

  135. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:39 am #

    A four-letter expletive, Mindy? You don’t know ANY four-letter expletives? You must indeed have virginal ears. (Humm. Mindy. Virgin Mindy. Humm. Nah, surely not.)

    Way to go, Debbe and Mindy. You two had to open THAT topic, didn’t you? Here? Why, Jimmy may have to call out the Cartoon Militia to restore order in A&Jville by Monday! :D

    Actually, I started to bring up the topic of legalization following Election Day, but I kept forgetting to do so. (And no, Mindy, not because I was stoned.) I suspected there’d be some interesting observations, theories and ideas (and dare I say, anecdotal evidence) offered. Go ahead, all. Prove me correct.

  136. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:53 am #

    At first I thought Jus Primae Noctus was something served with roast beef, but then found out it is really le Droit du Seigneur. My, my, my!

    Shall I dig out my copy of the Alice B Toklas cookbook?

  137. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:58 am #

    Those assembled will please note that Ghost did NOT comment on “Jus Primae Noctus,” even though someone posting under that pen name took his name in vain. Ghost would not touch that subject here with a 3.048 meter pole, fearing (rightly) that one or more female residents of A&Jville would track him down and beat him severely around the neck and shoulders with his own pole. Which would be painful, in all respects.

    Some of the aforementioned female residents of A&Jville continue to surprise Ghost. But delightfully. Good morning, Jean.

  138. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:12 am #

    And I’ll bet “Jus Primae Noctus” has a hell of a time getting Siri to understand him.

  139. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:14 am #

    We shall ALWAYS surprise you, Ghost, simply because we are Woman and you are just a smoke. No, wait, that’s not quite the way Kipling said it! [No, contrary to popular opinion, Winston Churchill did NOT originate the disgusting “And a Woman is only a woman, but a good Cigar is a Smoke,.” See: The Betrothed” c. 1885. Kipling also noted, more appropriately: “And Love’s torch stinking and stale, like the butt of a dead cigar.” So men are the Smoke and Women will always surprise you. Who’d have thought Kipling could be so timely!

    I only wish our politicians and politicals and other assorted halfwits and criminals would read Kipling’s “The Young British Soldier.”

    Sorry, here’s the soap box back.

  140. Russell Way Out There on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:20 am #

    Could Jus Primae Noctus and Virgin Mary be one and the same? The Vegas Morning Line says that John’s Mindy is not the Virgin Mindy, which doesn’t sound quite right. Take that line and run with it, Ghost Rider! I didn’t have to look up Jus Primae Noctus, Jean in Dahlonega, but I did have to double check le Droit du Seigneur. I just tried to get that address with Yahoot but it’s already taken! Ah, for the Guten Alten Zeit! As Mel Brooks said, “It’s good to be the king!” Were I king, I’d insist that more lovely women get married.

    Now I’m a marked man, I bet.

  141. Le Droit du Seigneur on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:29 am #

    There are ways to get around Yahoo, Russell! It just takes sneaky and perseverance. Like now. It took me something like 20 tries to get perseverance spelled korectly. No, I am not jus primae noctus. No, I am not Virgin Mindy. No, I am not Ghost (I don’t think). No, I am not Bill Clinton.

  142. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:35 am #

    OK Latin speakers, what are we say.

    Ius primae noctus, or jus primae noctis?

    The first is a Lord’s right to have a bride on her wedding night. The second refers to the rights of a Lord. While both are similar, there are subtle differences. Blame this observation on my fourteen years with the Franciscans.

  143. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:46 am #

    In case anyone hasn’t figured it out, the modern term for “Jus Primae Noctus” and “Le Droit du Seigneur” is “Sexual Harassment.”

    Russel, if “Mindy” was ever “Virgin Mindy,” that is apparently no longer the case, as of roughly 8 hours 23 minutes ago, give or take a little.

  144. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:54 am #

    And a cigar is sometimes just a cigar, Mindy. Wait, I just said that, didn’t I?

  145. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:58 am #

    And to think this all started with Jimmy’s “Tant pis” comment which was immediately taken out of context by Ghost [Surprise! Surprise!] and it went partially downhill from there…to here. No one decided to challenge my Kipling, huh? Just proves I’m right. Okay, if it ain’t Ghost…or sandcastler, who has been uncharacteristically quiet lately…who is Jus Primae Noctus and Le Droit du Seigneur and the Virgin Mindy? And whatever happened to Snowdons past?

  146. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 9:13 am #

    Sorry, that was Russell Way Out There, not Russel Trojan, wasn’t it? Jimmy may have to start issuing ID numbers here. In his spare time.

    My theories?

    Jus Primae Noctis = sandcastler.
    Le Droit du Seigneur = Mindy.
    Virgin Mindy = well, who cares…but have a super sparkly day, Princess.

  147. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 01 Dec 2012 at 9:51 am #

    On a fractured French party napkin decades ago, illustrated by a well-known New Yorker cartoonist: “Tant pis, tant miuex” = “Aunty feels better now that she’s made a telephone call.” No guarantees / spelling, or the exact wording of the translation.

    Crocheted: I didn’t realize that was the spelling of a word I’d heard and spoken since I was a kid [Mom crocheted several afghans, of which I inherited just one], until I came across it in a “women’s magazine” in the ’90s.

  148. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 01 Dec 2012 at 9:52 am #

    mieux, right?

  149. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 10:45 am #

    It ain’t me! Now I’m going grocery shopping which means John is a Happy Camper. Not.

  150. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 10:55 am #

    sandcastler has enough problems keeping track of sandcastler.

  151. Ruth Anne in Winter Park on 01 Dec 2012 at 10:58 am #

    Going back to the earlier discussion of the country’s largest cash crop for which no taxes are collected, a friend posted this after recent election results in various states: “Gay marriage legalized on the same day as marijuana makes perfect biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13: ‘ A man who lays with another man should be stoned.’ Our interpretation has just been wrong for all these years.” (attributed to Katie Stephens on the United Against Homophobia Facebook page)

  152. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 11:30 am #

    Oo! Oo! Mindy! Buy me something at the store! Buy me something at the store! (That never worked with my Mom, either, when I was young.)

    And I’m sure neither you nor sand are able to multitask

    BTW, is it considered multitasking if a woman is thinking of something entirely different while she is…well, never mind.

  153. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Mindy, I will allow that Shelly may be “Virgin Mindy.” Assuming, of course, that you are not “Shelly.” :)

  154. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 11:41 am #

    Also, I have proof that I am not “Virgin Mindy”…when she goes away, I’m still here.

  155. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 11:46 am #

    GR6, you are obsessing over Virgin Mindy. If she is lurking I can only imagine what her young mind is thinking.

  156. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 1:40 pm #

    Ghost, I can definitely multi-task. Once again, I am a woman. Ergo sum, multi-tasking is second nature. Otherwise we couldn’t keep track of our children, especially the males who have a tendency to get lost in a locked room, be they children or adult. And, yes, I did buy you something at the store, a new candy delight! It’s called D-Con and I’m fixing you a serving now with chocolate syrup and a touch of anti-freeze. [Works on some wild animals so why not a non-potty trained male adult?] I doubt seriously that Shelly is the Virgin Mindy, nor is she me.

    Ruth Anne, I love that interpretation of scripture! Reminds me of the one saying flying in an airplane is not good: “And, Lo, I am with you always.” Says nothing about “high.” Come to think of it, that may condemn marijuana as well…hmmm…

    Sandcastler, I have a homing device I’ll give you since you’re such a sweet, sexy person. [Eat your heart out, Ghost!]

  157. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 2:15 pm #

    Blush! Mindy is giving me a GPS.O:-) Thanks lovely lady.

    Now I must hurry out to get the lady a box of Godiva chocolates.

  158. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    Really, Mindy? Rat poison? Was it something I said?

  159. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 4:24 pm #

    Just my way of showing affection, Ghost Rider, don’t worry. Plus we just got back from making groceries so neither John nor I are in really great moods. If Rome hadn’t already been burned we’d contract out to do it.

  160. Mindy on 01 Dec 2012 at 4:25 pm #

    And don’t you dare make fun of me for saying “making groceries!”

  161. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    No worries. I wish I could make my groceries, rather than having to buy them. I’ll just add that to my growing list of Mindyisms.

  162. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    Making groceries sounds an awful lot like making hay; hot, dirty work. I fled the ranch for the Army to escape making hay. Left the Army for college. Joined the Franciscans only to become involved with the (fill in the blank.) Lived the simple life in the north woods after parting ways with (fill in the blank.) Now hiding out in the big city playing an edge game. So much for escaping the making hay.

  163. John in Virginia on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:00 pm #

    Actually, Ghost, “making groceries” is not a Mindyism (I do like that word). It’s an old Cajun phrase for grocery shopping, for true, you.

  164. Mark in TTown on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:07 pm #

    And a farewell salute to the USS Enterprise. I had not realized it was being retired. Another honorable veteran whose life of active service is done. Here’s hoping she can be turned into a museum as the world’s first nuclear powered carrier. Unfortunately, the reactor might be in the way of that notion.

  165. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:21 pm #

    Thanks, John. I’ve known some old Cajuns but don’t recall ever hearing that phrase.

  166. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:24 pm #

    Mark, not sure she is being retired. The Navy is saying decommissioned, which many times implies placing a ship in storage. The USS Iowa was decommissioned at least twice after WWII. Anyone having further info please hop in.

  167. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:37 pm #

    Making groceries:

    A professional society I belong to once ran a bicycle marathon [for scholarship money] down the East Coast to the meeting’s site at a FL university, and the cyclists showed Kodachromes [sob!] of their trip. Once was two exhibitionist hogs “makin’ bacon”. We’re a raunchy group. Biology lends itself to that.

  168. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:40 pm #

    That phrase I have heard, eMb. :)

  169. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:40 pm #

    “One was . . ..”

  170. Anonymous on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:59 pm #

    Fly United.

  171. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 6:01 pm #

    Bad news about the Big E, Mark and sandcastler. From an Associated Press report I just read: “While the Enterprise was inactivated Saturday, it will be several more years before it is fully decommissioned. Its nuclear fuel must first be removed by punching gigantic holes in the ship, rendering it unfit for service or turning it into a museum. It will eventually be towed to Washington state for scrapping.”

  172. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 6:05 pm #

    The story I heard was, “A newlywed couple traveling to their honeymoon destination wanted to fly United, but the flight attendant wouldn’t let them.”

  173. John in Virginia on 01 Dec 2012 at 6:10 pm #

    Ask Mindy about Flying United. But you never heard that from me. Ghost started that story. :)

  174. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 6:30 pm #

    Well, if I’m going to get the blame anyway…

    Mindy, what do you know about Flying United?

  175. John in Richmond Texas on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:01 pm #

    Ghost Rider 6 @ 11:30AM as to multi tasking – I recall a Rodney Dangerfield bit, something about “The ceiling needs painting”.

  176. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:06 pm #

    Yeah, well, Mindy already confirmed multitasking is second nature for women, and I guess a ceiling inspection could enter into that.

  177. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    The most common examples of flying [or crawling] united are various insects in summern damselflies in particular. Or, if you live where there are boxelder trees, lift a board in your backyard. There may be scores of boxelder bugs there, and maybe 10-20% are scoring. And of course, from the hymn “All things bright and beautiful”, verse 1, “Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings”: both the flowers and the birds are doing so to beget the next generation. I did a sermon on that once, partly to “afflict the comfortable.” Theolog Reinhold Niebuhr said his job was to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable”, but it was not original with him.

  178. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 01 Dec 2012 at 7:54 pm #

    “summer, damselflies . . ..”

  179. Mark in Boston on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:02 pm #

    And they say that if you go to a Hollywood beach late at night, you can lay on the sand and gaze at the stars, or the other way around if you get lucky.

  180. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 8:33 pm #

    Guessing the scraping of the Big E will directly translate into more costly razor blades. The Gillette Super Infused Nuclear Blade, for a searing close shave. Could add a new dimension to razor burn. ;-)

  181. Ghost Rider 6 on 01 Dec 2012 at 9:12 pm #

    Uh huh, but you’d probably only have to shave once.

  182. TruckerRon on 01 Dec 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    Listening to A Prairie Home Companion can be educational:

    In southern Italy they invented the process for making piccolos: they would build a fire on the beach on the Mediterranean Sea, put a large cauldron on it containing gallons of extra virgin olive oil and a little garlic, and then cook a few dozen flutes at a time until they had shriveled up to the desired size (this event, in which the whole community participated, was called a Mediterranean flute fry.)

  183. sandcastler on 01 Dec 2012 at 9:31 pm #

    Dip the flutes in chocolate and batter before frying and you could have a real tooting state fair concession.

  184. David from Austin on 01 Dec 2012 at 10:59 pm #

    If one fried the aforementioned pigs with the flutes it would be a rootin’, tooting, good time.

  185. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 01 Dec 2012 at 11:45 pm #

    Multiple Mindies, Jus Primae, le Droit…and none of them me. I know because I was there. Or wasn’t, as the case may be.

    While I’m here (for the moment) did I loan any of you my belly dance dvds? I can’t find them, and seem to remember loaning then to someone. I need to start practicing again.

    Good night, Ghost!

  186. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 12:19 am #

    Now, Jean; why’d you have to go and do that? I had Mila Kunis scheduled for a dream tonight, and now I’ll have to make a last minute casting change. Not that I mind, of course. ;)

  187. Mark in TTown on 02 Dec 2012 at 12:28 am #

    David from Austin, throw in some owls and goats and have a hootenanny while you’re at it!

  188. Symply Fargone on 02 Dec 2012 at 12:43 am #

    @Charlotte in NH,

    SymplyFargone@hotmail.com

  189. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 2:26 am #

    TruckerRon, that was one of the best puns I’ve encountered [or been accosted by] in ages! Enter in in the annual competition. Quick! It’s great! Let’s see, “fly united” and “ask Mindy.” This early on a Sunday morning and John is already in deep Kim Shee. At this point, Mindy pleads a Mindy. It wasn’t all that bad, honestly, but I surely ain’t gonna hand out any details since I’m stone sober! Jean, if I said I’d love to see the belly dancing videos, “someone” would jump all over the innocent statement [not to name names; Ghost, Mila was already busy elsewhere so your plans would have wilted anyway]. Belatedly, Dave from Austin, your “tootin’, rootin’ offering was also worth a good giggle. Now, Mark in TTown, do you rememer “Hootenanny” on the tube? I don’t. I’m far too young for that, even in syndication. [Would you believe that my Dad made videos of that program? Okay, would you believe that I found the first 12 seasons for sale cheap next to the Slim Whitman and Popeils Pocket Fisherman displays at my local garage sale?]

    Sandcastler, I honestly just saw your offering! I can always count on you to drag the net and come up with the Flute, nothing but the Flute….One of these days I really have to get more than an hour of sleep!

  190. Debbe59 on 02 Dec 2012 at 5:47 am #

    Stone sober, Mindy??? At 2ish in the am? It’s your brownies…..all that chocolate :) Ahem!!

  191. Jus Primae Noctus on 02 Dec 2012 at 5:47 am #

    Sweet Sword of Justice, thy sting is so sublime. I have no idea what brought that on other than the fact that I’ve been up for either three or five days without sleep and I’m punchy. Shelly, sing me a sweet song and let me pass into slumber. If that doesn’t work, well, Mindy, do you happen to have access to any of that peach flavored Southern Moonshine? I miss that here in my small room at the (monestary/nunnery; note: neither location is specified due to a need to at least momentarily admitting my sex)(please note that I am not necessarily any of the people who post in here under different names) where abstinence and celibacy are brutally enforced by hall monitors armed with wicked switches and clubs. Does anyone feel even faintly sorry for me? (Nor am I the Virgin Mindy so often mentioned lately!)

  192. Jus Primae Noctus on 02 Dec 2012 at 5:49 am #

    And I forgot! Jean, please reserve a full set of your belly dancing videos! I checked and they are not available in local supermarkets, drug stores or second hand outlets. Has it occurred to anyone that I may be Ghost?

  193. Neal in Bahstawn on 02 Dec 2012 at 6:11 am #

    Mindy, you are correct that this all started with GR6, but it wasn’t a ‘misunderstanding’. It was a mis-translation. JJ was actually saying that his aunt is very, very mad at him for something he did.

    N’est-il pas merveilleux que de “Google Translate” nous pouvons tous l’air si cosmopolite?

  194. Debbe59 on 02 Dec 2012 at 6:50 am #

    Found Foghorn: http://slideshow.nbcnews.com/slideshow/today/animal-tracks-nov-21-nov-28-49980414/

  195. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 6:57 am #

    Neal, I’m still trying to figure out what Arlo got food makings spattered on…which is probably one of the most grammatically flawed sentences I’ve ever uttered. “Uttered,” Ghost, not “uddered.” Lord love a duck…and,
    Oui, Neal, il est, mais il faut aussi avoir appris un peu de français Cajun de Cajuns, assez pour s’en sortir, parfois, sometones pas. I think. Close enough for government work.

  196. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 7:00 am #

    Debbe, sorry, one eye is closed, the other wants to be, so I missed you. No, not a drop of booze, beer or wine [what's the difference?] nor any Brownies. MJ-laced Brownies are illegal in the Commonwealth of Virginia and I would never deign to violate those hallowed statutes. Or is it “hollowed statues?” Now that it’s 8:00, I finally feel sleepy but I have miles and miles of miles and miles to go before I sleep, thank you, Mr. Whitman. [p.s., Mr. Whitman, I could use a half dozen or so of your samplers!]

  197. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 02 Dec 2012 at 7:41 am #

    Mindy, I think it was Janis’ iPad, which is why Arlo will be getting his own very soon. And my Dad watched Hootenanny, right along with Hee Haw. I also want to say he has a Popeil Pocket Fisherman because my Mom had the regrettable habit of buying things from Service Merchandise (anybody else remember that store) and got him one for Christmas one year. No idea what happened to it.

    Ghost, should I be sorry I interrupted your sleep plans?

  198. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:04 am #

    Jus Primae Noctus is not GR6. And GR6 is not he or she. However, so far, Ghost is liking the way his or her mind works. Although if Jus Primae Noctus is female, Ghost thinks Jus Primae Noctus is a rather intriguing choice of pen names, and it brings to mind some interesting mental images. But maybe that’s just the way Ghost’s mind works.

    When Jus Primae Noctus posted this ayem, Ghost was busy finishing some unfinished business; to wit, last night’s dream that required last-minute recasting. Whether or not Mila, a foot four inch tall brunette, was available had become moot because of the images created by Jean’s mention of belly dancing. So I recast someone more suitable for the part…a six foot tall redhead named Geena Davis. So everything worked out fine. Udderly fine.

    Good morning, Jean! Also to Debbe and Mindy. Thanks for the picture, Debbe. It’s nice to think that Foghorn has gone to the Great Roost in the Sky.

  199. sandcastler on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:05 am #

    Ahhh, the mention of pitchman Ron Popeil: inventor, father of the info commercial, and founder of RONCO. Ron changed the world with his products, redefined TV viewing, and opened the door for the likes of Billy Mates.

  200. sandcastler on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:05 am #

    Billy Mayes

  201. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:15 am #

    “Utterly fine.” I blame Siri.

  202. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:17 am #

    And Mila is five foot four, not a foot four. I blame Siri.

    Either that, or I’m still blinded by the abs.

  203. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:35 am #

    M. Neal, quelle est cette “Google Translate” dont vous parlez?

  204. Symply Fargone on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:54 am #

    Well Mom is with Papa now…and they are Symply Fargone…why I have been away….

    The Final Cut

    by Symply Fargone/Me……

    02/26/90(Pap’s heart attack)

    Reedited 4/4/96 for Pap’s stroke and funeral

    Old Grim Reaper wielding deadly scythe,
    Countless souls end to end do lie,
    Time in passing, we thought an endless bliss.
    Hesitation wanting, soon our loved ones missed,
    Existence fleeting, we grimace in our pain,
    The end approaches, all too soon none remain.

    Biding time, our tenuous grip,
    Fades as Death’s sweet talons rip,
    Our souls, from corpse in dancing flight,
    Lost lovers’ touch and offspring’s plight,
    We run, we hide, guilty of no crime,
    As hostage we start on Death’s long ride,
    Forever lost, one last dance we start,
    Ne’er to finish, lest in Mortis’ cart.

    Missing you…..

  205. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 9:06 am #

    So terribly sorry, SF. I’ve lived through half of that situation, and I dread having to deal with the second half.

  206. Symply Fargone on 02 Dec 2012 at 9:24 am #

    @GR6,

    Thought Pap was tough…Mom sure made that one seem easy and I never would have thought it that way….Thanks for your kind thoughts…

  207. Debbe59 on 02 Dec 2012 at 9:54 am #

    SF…what a embrasing tribute….I’ve not had to endure the loss of my parents, and I don’t want to, but my mother is a faithful woman who believes in eternal life in His presence. My father never embrased the Lord.

    Not going to see Mom today, worked 9 straight days and even though I wore a dust mask while cleaning the hen house, I have caught a terrible sinus infection. Came through the eye ducts my husband says. Gonna do saline rinses…anybody else have other ideas? Gonna go back to bed and sleep. I hope Mindy gets her sleep soon…we women do need our beauty sleep.

    Not verbatim, but Ecc 3:13 says that to eat and drink we must toil, for that is the gift of God.

  208. Symply Fargone on 02 Dec 2012 at 10:04 am #

    @Debbe59,

    The nastiest job ever when I was 13 was cleaning out the coop, it had been enough years to accumulate 1ft deep and the owners wished to keep and use it. Horrible horrible job….my sympathies for your discomfit.

    Also, thanks for your kind thoughts, Mom was both the wife of a scientist and a scientist herself, as such one had to make a choice in our house, we studied theology and practiced science.

  209. Mindy from Indy on 02 Dec 2012 at 10:43 am #

    Symply Fargone, my deepest sympathies. It is always tough to lose a loved one, but in the midst of the holiday season, somehow seems worse. Will be thinking of you and your family.

  210. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 02 Dec 2012 at 10:52 am #

    Fargone. It is a long story, but after my Dad died, I started seeing and hearing cardinals. One time I was running a marathon and there was a person in a people size cardinal suit cheering me on. (at least I hope it was!) Anyway, I figure that the cardinals were God’s way of saying that Dad was alright and that He cared about my life. Whenever I hear the distint chirp of a cardinal, I stop what I am doing and for at least a moment, tune in to God. I miss Mom & Dad everyday, but frankly they have never left me and never will.

  211. Symply Fargone on 02 Dec 2012 at 10:52 am #

    @Mindy from Indy,

    Thanks for your kind thoughts…It was nice for us all to get together to celebrate Mom(she lived abroad as does the rest of my family). We had a Symply Fargone time reminiscing and celebrating a truly astounding woman.

  212. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 11:27 am #

    Simply Fargone, that was quite moving. No joking, it moved me, and that’s that.
    Jean? You interrupted Ghost’s SHEEP plans?
    Sandcastler, I spend the better part of three years trying to find a Ronco Poliel’s Pocket Fisherman for my Dad as a gag gift. Unfortunately, he passed away before I could do so. Now, after a few years have passed, I’m starting over, trying to find one for John. [Don't tell him.]

  213. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 02 Dec 2012 at 11:28 am #

    Fargone, having been there with both my parents I know it’s tough. You have my deepest sympathy and condolences.

  214. sandcastler on 02 Dec 2012 at 11:56 am #

    Symply Fargone, sorry to hear of your loss. Having traveled that path I know it is a challenging time. But they live on in us both through mannerisms and speech patterns. The memories of their lives is a precious gift you will always have.

  215. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Symply, check your email. The email, now, not the simpleton or whatever it is you also use.

  216. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 2:03 pm #

    SLEEP plans, Mindy! Jean interrupted my SLEEP plans! I do not now practice animal husbandry, nor have I ever done so in the past.

    You did interrupt my sleep plans, Jean, but don’t be sorry for it. It was in a good way. Please feel free to do so again whenever you’d like. ;)

  217. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    Sleep pains? Sheep plans? I’ve sheared sheep in the past, and planned for that….but…

  218. Galliglo in Ohio on 02 Dec 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    Sorry Fargone… I too have lost both parents. And, even though I was glad that they were in no more pain, it is still hard. But I find now that I can remember with thanksgiving… mannerisms… habits… temper tantrums.. bad jokes… it was all a part of them, and now a part of me and my sisters and our children. For better or worse, they live on in all of us.

  219. Robin in Fl on 02 Dec 2012 at 3:40 pm #

    SF

    Deepest sympathies on the loss of your Mom and reliving the loss of your Dad.

  220. Neal in Bahstawn on 02 Dec 2012 at 3:49 pm #

    For those who laughed as hard as I did at the “Mediterranean Flute Fry” pun, it was told by the immortal Peter Schickele (he of P.D.Q. Bach fame) toward the end of hour one of this weekend’s ‘Prairie Home Companion’. It was a truly world class pun.

    GR, “Google Translate” est la béquille que ceux d’entre nous qui ont grandi utilisation vieux quand on n’a plus envie de faire le dur labeur de l’écriture d’une autre langue.

  221. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    Sleep PLANS, Mindy! Jean interrupted my sleep PLANS! And there was nothing painful about it. Geena upheld the honor of six foot female redheads everywhere. ;)

    Is this verse about a young couple on their honeymoon a pun?

    “She offered her honor; he honored her offer.
    And all night long it was honor and offer.”

  222. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 5:02 pm #

    Oh, how tawdry!

    [John giggled.]

    I wonder about all that apparent perversity involving sheep, however. The next thing we know it will be small, furry woodland animals or flightless aquatic fowl, or…well, the list goes on and on and on. I am actually shocked by it all. I wonder if the Animal Channel will cover this?

  223. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 5:25 pm #

    Actually, there is a SF novel which combines sheep and sexual romance, yet not in the way Mindy seems to be obsessing about: “The Android’s Dream” by John Scalzi. Bet you can’t guess how he pulls that off without reading the book. (If you like entertaining novels [SF or otherwise], you should read the book anyway.)

  224. Shelly on 02 Dec 2012 at 5:56 pm #

    Golly gee whizzakers, Mister Wizard, Mindy “obsessing” about sheep and Mr. Ghost has read a book about…Mindy is right, Ghost, we all love you like a red-headed step-neighbor-in-law but you are weird! In a good way, natcherly.

  225. John in Virginia on 02 Dec 2012 at 6:03 pm #

    Ghost, if you want to divert Mindy’s attention. ask her how bruised she was (and where) when she did the sheep shearing she mentioned. (If the women stick together, we men have to do the same.)

  226. TruckerRon on 02 Dec 2012 at 6:21 pm #

    BTW, those who handle the flutes/piccolos at the Mediterranean Flute Fry are not allowed to join in the drinking of wine, singing the traditional songs, or dancing on the beach until the last piccolo is safely stored away. They are the Designated Fryers.

  227. Mark in Boston on 02 Dec 2012 at 6:55 pm #

    Time to bring out my recording of Handel’s Messiah and cue up my favorite number:

    All We Like Sheep!

  228. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 7:28 pm #

    Hi, Shelly! Love you, too, girl. :)

    Mindy, I can’t explain why this comes to mind (some sort of ESP is obviously involved), but I have this strange and uncontrollable compulsion to ask you if you received any bruises (and if so, where) during the sheep shearing episode you mentioned. Even afebrile minds would like to know.

  229. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 02 Dec 2012 at 7:39 pm #

    Re sheep: A friend named Bruno once recited this limerick [limericks don't always scan, and I think he may have worded it better; this was 60 years ago]:

    T’was said by a guacho named Bruno,
    [words in here?] do you know,
    that women are fine,
    and sheep are divine,
    but llamas are numero uno?

    Maybe one of you can flesh this out. [That's an apt metaphor.]

  230. Mindy on 02 Dec 2012 at 7:55 pm #

    Virginia, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

    “Strange and uncontrollable compulsion” under the influence of ESP, huh, Ghost? Yeah, right, and we’re back to the oceanfront property for sale cheap in Iowa…or an honest politician yet to be bought. As to bruises, John refers to two in particular [those little buggers can KICK, I kid you not!]. Well, actually four…One each on the inside of the upper thighs, making it very difficult to walk for the next couple of days much less to anything else, plus two in the northern hemisphere making the wearing of a sundress undesirable, but less wearing any undergarment at all. But I got the sucker sheared in spite of the resistance. And, naturally, the men all laughed at my antics. Wasn’t all that embarrassing after all, was it? [Or, perhaps, I omitted certain details?]

  231. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 7:58 pm #

    eMb, I borrowed a copy of “Dirty Limericks for Dummies” from my evil twin, Noise Maker 6, and I found the following:

    An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
    Once said, “There is one thing I do know:
    A woman is fine,
    And a sheep is divine,
    But a llama is numero uno.”

    There was no explanation, though, and I have no idea whatsoever what that is supposed to mean. Also, I never realized so many limericks are about people from Nantucket.

  232. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:06 pm #

    Mindy, I’m sure that, being the loving, selfless husband that he is, John was more than willing to “kiss it and make it well” after you received those nasty bruises.

    I’m also happy to see that you are finally breaking out of your shell and becoming much more forthcoming about relating details of your life experiences. Even if you did omit “certain details” in this case.

  233. sandcastler on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:31 pm #

    Ah sheep,
    This has gone too deep,
    Time to close eyes in sleep,
    And just count sheep.

  234. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 8:50 pm #

    Did you ever wonder what type of person would have a TV show for children that featured a sock-puppet of an adorable little baby sheep, and name that adorable little baby sheep…”Lamb Chop”? My theory as to why there are so many vegans among us in recent years is they were traumatized as children by the thought of someone eating that adorable little baby sheep with the cute little baby voice.

  235. Mark in TTown on 02 Dec 2012 at 10:37 pm #

    Mindy http://www.heartlandamerica.com/browse/item.asp?PIN=124144&DL=GAW1&SC=WIG20001&amp;

  236. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 02 Dec 2012 at 10:45 pm #

    Ghost,

    Thank you. I think Bruno’s version used plurals instead of singulars, maybe like this:

    An Argentine gaucho named Bruno
    Once said, “There is one thing I do know:
    Women are fine,
    And sheep are divine,
    But llamas are numero uno.”

    Are you sure you really “have no idea whatsoever what that is supposed to mean.”? Sheep supposedly are used for s*xual release by sheepherders in the outback. Llamas I don’t know about, but it’s a cute limerick. I’ve also heard that one technique is to wear stiff leather knee-length boots and stick the ewe’s hind legs in them. Llamas might be a better height, but they spit on you when annoyed.

    Bruno is also the one who told us about the supposed Bishop of Toulouse, which has come to seem more plausible as more cases of clerical abuse are exposed.

  237. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 02 Dec 2012 at 11:18 pm #

    “It may be some strange coincidence, but we had lamb shepherd’s pie last night for dinner.” she said sheepishly.

    I haven’t read the Scalzi book, but there is “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” by Philip K. Dick. The movie Blade Runner was based in a large part on that one.

    I’ve never tried to shear a sheep, and I think I’ll keep that record pristine.

    Good night, Ghost! And Mindy, John, debbe, eMb, cex-p, et al.

  238. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 11:26 pm #

    emb, to quote Mindy, “I’m shocked! Shocked, I tell you, shocked!” :)

    As far as “they spit on you when annoyed” is concerned, I’ve known some ghostettes who did that.

  239. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Dec 2012 at 11:30 pm #

    You’re a jump ahead already, Jean. The title of the Dick novel is connected to the title of the Scalzi novel. Which really does involve sheep. Sort of.

    Sweet dreams.

  240. Mindy on 03 Dec 2012 at 12:02 am #

    To shear or not to shear…nevermore, said the Raven. Ah, Ghost, to sheep, perhaps to dream…goodnight Jean. Goodnight everybody else also. Goodnight, John, and aren’t you glad you cleaned out the doghouse as I suggested last week? Such rapier wit…or half that.

  241. Jus Primae Noctus on 03 Dec 2012 at 5:10 am #

    Mindy didn’t say “goodnight” to me. Not directly, she didn’t. I’m hurt. Come to think of it, Ghost Ryder didn’t, either! I am crushed. For a little while, I thought we’d break 300 this weekend. So much for our chances at a championship. Goodnight, Mindy and Ghost Ryder. To sleep, perchance to dream…or not.

  242. Debbe59 on 03 Dec 2012 at 5:12 am #

    Good morning to each and all….

    Jean, Blade Runner is two of my favorite movies (the other being Shenandoah with Jimmy Stewart).

    GR…surely you remember Pris’s (Ms. Hannah) acrobatic stunts from the movie, if not I’d suggest you buy the movie…and you can rewind, rewind and rewind:)

    My favorite line was from the ending was when Roy (Rutger Hauer) delivered his “Tears in the rain” sililoquey: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. [laughs] Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like [coughs] tears in rain. Time to die.”

    Ya’ll have a blessed day

  243. Bob, near Mark on 03 Dec 2012 at 5:46 am #

    This blog is becoming shear madness. “Electric sheep?” Hah! You’re not going to pull the wool over my eyes!

    Do electric sheep have steel wool?

  244. Mindy on 03 Dec 2012 at 6:57 am #

    No, Bob, near Mark, Electric Sheep are more computerized. They have a Fire Wool.

  245. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 03 Dec 2012 at 7:35 am #

    And the one I forgot last night-our favorite rock song…”Hey MacCloud, get off of my ewe!”

    Good morning all!

  246. Ghost Rider 6 on 03 Dec 2012 at 7:44 am #

    Like I said, Jean, you keep surprising me. ;)

  247. Roy Baty on 03 Dec 2012 at 7:48 am #

    Thank you, Debbe59.

    Good morning, Jus Primae Noctus.

  248. Virgin Mindy on 03 Dec 2012 at 7:56 am #

    Adults are insane!!

  249. Roy Baty on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:02 am #

    Virgin Mary, humans are insane.

  250. Debbe59 on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:04 am #

    Yeah, ain’t it fun…..I just love that fine line between insanity and sanity…and falling off….

    You’re welcome Roy Batty

  251. Roy Baty on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:05 am #

    Sorry, Virgin Mindy. I thought you were someone else.

  252. Pris on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:17 am #

    Roy….is that really you? Have you been re-replicated?? Oh please tell me it’s so.

  253. Mindy on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:21 am #

    Jean got Stoned! And don’t worry about it, Roy. Everyone thinks Virgin Mindy is someone else. Including Virgin Mindy! My vote is on Ghost.

  254. Roy Baty on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:25 am #

    Hi, Pris. How’s my favorite basic pleasure model doing these days?

  255. Ghost Rider 6 on 03 Dec 2012 at 8:31 am #

    God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy.

    And I’m not Virgin Anyone, Mindy.

  256. Mark in Boston on 03 Dec 2012 at 4:57 pm #

    Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

    Because sheep can hear a zipper 100 feet away.

  257. Meryl A on 04 Dec 2012 at 12:37 am #

    When we were first married, about a year or so in, I decided that our bedroom had to be coordinated. I went to a sale at Bloomingdales (when it was Bloomingdales and not a Macy’s clone) and had to go to 2 local stores to buy the sheets and pillowcases I wanted. I then had to carry the matching quilt on the subway to my car as none of the local stores had the quilt and I had to buy in Manhattan on my way home from a client. I made the bed. It looked lovely. The end of the first week I realized that I needed another set of expensive sheets to be able to strip the bed and wash the sheets and sleep that night. (Had to use a landromat then). Bought a look alike set to use as the alternate. Then 2 weeks in I saw the quilt looked filthy. Yes, it had a white background. I found out one could not read the newspaper on the quilt. It stayed about a year, then it went into storage in a closet intended to be used when we had company. The quilt was never used again. The sheets eventually went back into rotation. I bought a cheap solid dark blue quilt and used that. Much more practical.