Jan 2nd 2013 08:30 am The Road to #%*&!!


Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
A lot of people, I think, view a new year’s resolution as akin to a superstition and therefore sniff at the idea, the way a lot of us deny we watch television. We’re too smart for that. Actually, I watch a little television now and then, and I don’t see anything wrong with assigning an arbitrary point in the revolution of the sun where I remind myself that it never hurts to address my faults. So, I have made a couple of resolutions this year which should go a long way toward making me the person I want people to think I am. What? Well, I can’t tell you, then they wouldn’t come true!

Posted by jimmyjohnson / Vintage A&J

55 Responses to “The Road to #%*&!!”

  1. sandcastler on 02 Jan 2013 at 8:46 am #

    LOL, is a high beam morning in Houston. Was GR6 the inspiration for today’s strip?

  2. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 02 Jan 2013 at 8:48 am #

    Today’s delightful and not too subtle comic reminds me of a discussion here, subject: pokies. [I hope that's spelled right].

  3. Symply Fargone on 02 Jan 2013 at 9:17 am #

    Made me beam a bit…..and what is wrong with that? JJ you are Symply Fargone(not literally, but cognitively in a way….)

  4. Ginger on 02 Jan 2013 at 9:27 am #

    Sounded like Ghost Rider, didn’t it? “High Beam” is a new one on me, though. Took me a minute to catch on. Jimmy seems to have a healthy interest in women. Nothing wrong with that. (Chew on that for awhile, Ghost Rider, as you stumble around trying to get a fix on my gender!) Oh, Mindy and John should be back today. Or tomorrow. Or Sunday. Or next week sometime. Or…

  5. Dale on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:30 am #

    I am a little surprised the editors let JJ get away with “highbeams”.

  6. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:35 am #

    Had I been the one that mentioned “highbeams”, several posters of the female persuasion would likely have clouded up and rained all over me. Jimmy uses it in a cartoon, and he is lauded for it. See how unfair life is? :)

  7. Mindy on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:37 am #

    Life ain’t easy for a Ghost named Rider. :)

  8. minnesotadon on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:55 am #

    highbeams are one of my favorite things…you know like puppies and spring flowers and mountain vistas…

  9. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 11:02 am #

    To: Ginger
    Re: Your gender

    According to the Urban Dictionary, “Ginger” is ” A rare natural hair color which inspires odd and sometimes fearful reactions from the more common colored hair types. Typically redheads are believed to be more sexual than normal, highly artistic, fierce fighters, and to have a greater tolerance for pain than average. The sun is their only real enemy. Descendants of Vikings. The Romans were said to have put red haired males born in the empire into training as soldiers since they were believed to be fierce warriors. Rome also gave up on taking Ireland due to the number of redheads they saw there.” That seems to fit you, whether you are a redhead or not.

    The other person who has posted here in the past, and who most seems to be “more sexual than normal, highly artistic, fierce fighters, and to have a greater tolerance for pain than average” (besides me, of course), is a female. So I’m guessing you are, too.

    Hi, Mindy!

  10. sandcastler on 02 Jan 2013 at 11:12 am #

    Hello Mindy. Nice to see back in the village, things were rather SymplyFargone when you are not here.

  11. Ursen on 02 Jan 2013 at 1:28 pm #

    No resolutions here this year. After all of these years my will power and my won’t power too easily get mixed up and the resolutions get broken too quickly.

  12. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 2:28 pm #

    I agree with Jimmy’s take on the appropriateness of New Year’s resolutions. However, I would add, one should of course not wait until the new year arrives to make needed changes in one’s lifestyle.

    I’m sure I’m probably the only one here who has who resolved to lose weight this year (ha!), but I got a running start (no pun intended) by beginning my diet-and-exercise regimen (both under supervision) for weight loss and cardio improvement in early October rather than waiting until now. Consequently, instead of gaining the usual five pounds or so over the holidays, I have lost fifteen pounds over that period of time. So I figure that puts me well ahead of the game.

  13. sandcastler on 02 Jan 2013 at 2:38 pm #

    Resolutions will be easier to keep for me; bought new jeans with a smaller waist size. Now I have incentive, plus a gauge, to keep off weight lost last year.

    I wrote out rest of my resolutions and placed them in a folder labeled Secret. Since I no longer hold a security clearance I cannot see them, so I am unable to know if I break them. Damn smart on my part. ;-)

  14. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 2:45 pm #

    eMb, I may have been the one who “raised the subject of pokies” (I probably can’t claim “no pun intended” on that one), but then again, it may have been the other usual suspect, sandcastler. (It’s great to have someone here in A&Jville I can lay things off onto.) But your spelling seems to be the preferred one.

  15. The Usual Suspect on 02 Jan 2013 at 2:46 pm #

    What?

  16. sandcastler on 02 Jan 2013 at 2:57 pm #

    Thanks GR6, glad you are in my corner, even if you have a pointy finger. Just recall, I have been falsely accused but never convicted.

  17. Mary in Ohio on 02 Jan 2013 at 3:02 pm #

    I can relate to both of today’s cartoons. In fact, when it was cold at the junior high where I taught, that was the ONLY time some of the young male teachers would greet me in the hall.

  18. Mindy on 02 Jan 2013 at 3:17 pm #

    Males are satisfied with such small things in this life. :)

  19. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 3:17 pm #

    Mary, I would credit the standup comedian who originated this, if I could remember who it was. “In the summer time, I like to hang out in the frozen food section of markets, waiting for women in tee shirts to come by. If anyone asks me what I’m doing, I say I’m looking for the frozen nibblets.”

    I have to add that it often works pretty well when they are wearing sundresses, also. (Why are you looking at me like that, Mindy?)

  20. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 3:18 pm #

    And some of them aren’t that small.

  21. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    As I may have mentioned before, I very seldom read the posts on the gocomics blog, although I know some of you have said you do, and I’ve even occasionally seen a familiar name or two there. But something caught my eye there yesterday…a post that read “Sports all suck, and are nothing but a waste of time & money. Anyone that likes them needs mental help/”. It was posted by someone using the appellation “Ghost01″.

    I want to assure anyone who may have wondered that I did not post that comment. In the first place, had it been me, I would have posted as Ghost Rider 6. (I’ve spent too much time establishing that as my brand to ever abandon it.) And in the second place, I would, as I’m sure you all know, never be so crass as to use the word “suck” in a public forum. (Why are you looking at me like that, Mindy?)

  22. John in Richmond Texas on 02 Jan 2013 at 3:49 pm #

    spelling, yes, Gumby’s pal is Pokey

  23. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 4:57 pm #

    minnesotadon, highbeams/pokies are one of my favorite things, also. The only problem with them when they appear is deciding, to paraphrase Mae West, “Is it cold in here, or are you just glad to see me?” (Why are you looking at me like that, Mindy?)

  24. Boise Ed on 02 Jan 2013 at 5:17 pm #

    I think it’s great that grandpa Arlo still has a healthy interest in Janis.

  25. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 02 Jan 2013 at 5:33 pm #

    “Is it cold in here, or are you just glad to see me?” Think I’ve mentioned here that wife once said that as a young male student in a tee came into the stadium on a cool day. Whether she knew she was quoting Mae West or not, I don’t know. I didn’t until Ghost’s post above.

  26. sandcastler on 02 Jan 2013 at 5:42 pm #

    I think eye pleasing delights are Mother Nature’s why of telling me I am still breathing.

  27. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 02 Jan 2013 at 5:43 pm #

    The retro reminds a favorite joke. “I don’t drink any more…I don’t drink any less.”

    In regards to today’s strip. I really enjoyed it and while my wife pretends that she is annoyed at my leering (ala Janis) she would be greatly worried if I stopped. As a matter of fact, one of the things that I love about Arlo and Janis is that they still love each other after all of these years. We often mentioned that Jimmy looks in our windows and I am proud to say he is looking in ours.

  28. Mindy on 02 Jan 2013 at 5:51 pm #

    Ghost? Dear Ghost! Methinks ye be feelin’ a tat bit guilty about something, Laddie! And ya know what tats bring, right? [I have, by the bye, read a great deal of what was posted while John and I had our interlude in the mountains about as far away from anyone else as it's possible to get in SW Virginia. TASFYAD. I am not Ginger, and Ginger be not me but Ginger and I share an amused and pleased giggle that you think we are one and the same. That's a compliment to us both. John, on the other hand, is somewhat nonplussed to have anyone think that he be Ginger, much less me. But, the more he thinks about it...oh, never mind. And, no, I shall not reveal Ginger's Gender!] Y’all misbehaved whilst I was gone! But not too badly. Why am I looking at you like this, Ghost?

  29. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 6:12 pm #

    Mindy, did you think I implied I thought you and Ginger are one and the same? (Interesting that you thought that, though.) What I said was that I thought both she and you were females. Please don’t tell me I wasn’t as least half right.

  30. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 6:12 pm #

    eMb, as I said, that was a paraphrase. The original line, attributed to Mae West, was “Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?” Delivered in Ms. West’s own inimitable style.

  31. Jim in NC on 02 Jan 2013 at 6:35 pm #

    Mindy, You and John weren’t at Hungry Mother’s State Park near Marion were you? My wife and I visited there on Labor Day’s weekend in 1981, and 9 months later our 2nd child was born. We enjoyed our stay. Happy New Year everyone.

  32. emeritus Minnesota biologist on 02 Jan 2013 at 6:47 pm #

    I should read more carefully. Don’t know if wife ever saw/heard the Mae West quote. She was pretty quick with bons mots; may have been original.

  33. Mindy from Indy on 02 Jan 2013 at 6:48 pm #

    A dollar short and a day behind, but yesterday’s real-time strip about all of the excessive bowl games there are now came a mere few hours after a conversation with a friend about that very topic.

    Haven’t made resolutions in a long time; however, I am counting my blessings, trying harder to be more forgiving of others, surprised my co-workers with small gifts and edible treats, and even sampled the fruitcake my grandma gave me. (bleh) Thought about trying to eat healthier, but what’s the fun in that?

  34. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 6:59 pm #

    Good for you, Lady Mindy. I wish you were my co-worker.

    And you were a good granddaughter for at least sampling the cake. :)

  35. Bonnie from Gloucester MA on 02 Jan 2013 at 7:00 pm #

    Loved “highbeams.” I’ve been missing the saucy humor of A&J as of late. Good to see one slide in there.

  36. Dan in SWMo on 02 Jan 2013 at 7:10 pm #

    My biggest problem with the concept of new year’s resolutions is that too many people (and I have been guilty of this in the past, myself) treat the breaking of them as “oh, well, that’s it until next year!” If it’s a good resolution, and you are serious about it, then if/when you fail, pick yourself back up and resume it immediately.

  37. David from Austin on 02 Jan 2013 at 8:10 pm #

    I belive I’ve heard the May West quote paraphrased, “Is that a pickle in your pocket…” It’s more than a bit embarassing when delivered to a teen by an attractive member of the opposite gender!

  38. Jean in Dahlonega Ga aka Trapper Jean on 02 Jan 2013 at 9:19 pm #

    Hi folks! I’m neither Ginger nor Mindy, but I am back after a few days out. We here on the Mountain have decided that 2013 seriously sucks (yes, Ghost, I will say “sucks” on a public forum) and we are sticking with 2012 for a bit longer. I missed yesterday’s discussion on the loss of pets because I was saying goodbye to my beloved Boxer, Addie Belle. She was only sick for a day, and we didn’t have time to get her to the emergency vet, our usual vet being closed for New Year’s Day. Now my other companion, Buddy, is at the vet being checked out lest he have the same illness. So far they tell me he is fine. Hopefully I can pick him up tomorrow morning. Needless to say, my sympathies to Art and David. As to the discussion of whether animals have souls, I firmly believe they do, and if my dogs and cats aren’t in Heaven I ain’t going, neither.

    I gave up making New Years’ Resolutions for Lent many years ago and have never regretted it.

  39. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 9:37 pm #

    Jean, I am so sorry. You like to think you’ll have at least a little time to prepare yourself for things like that, but that’s not often the case.

    Some may consider this sophistry, but I do not: I don’t believe there is any way we could be truly happen in Heaven/Paradise/The Afterlife or whatever you want to call it if our loved ones and our pets are not with us.

  40. Ghost Rider 6 on 02 Jan 2013 at 9:38 pm #

    “truly happy” that is.

  41. TruckerRon on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:53 pm #

    For those who tired of all the bowl games (with the Super Bowl yet to come!), look at today’s Tank McNamara:

    http://www.gocomics.com/tankmcnamara/2013/01/02

    Remember, you can’t help addicts until they reach rock bottom!

  42. TruckerRon on 02 Jan 2013 at 10:57 pm #

    And here’s a bit of music that fits my mood tonight:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bYPnfXXUp4

    I sometimes think I was born about 30 years too late.

  43. Dennis Ewing on 03 Jan 2013 at 1:00 am #

    @trapper Jean

    My condolences on your loss. 2 years ago today I came home to my beloved Scruffy lying dead in his favorite napping post. The loss of a great pet can hurt and much as a human family member. I’m watching my mother deteriorate due to ALS and somehow it doesn’t hurt as bad as the loss of Scruffy. I’m sure when she goes there will be much weeping. May your load be eased.

    Dennis

  44. Mindy on 03 Jan 2013 at 3:22 am #

    Ghost, I didn’t say you thought Ginger was me…and John. That was Psych 101. Gee, the mention of pokies or high beams and you salivate so much your thought processes get soggier! ;) Jim in NC, no, we weren’t at Hungry Mother, although that is a very nice park. I’m not even sure if it’s open this time of year. We were further west, deeper in the Appalachains, [that's pronounced Ap-ah-lach-uns, folks, not Ap-ah-LAY-chuns; we should know, we live here!] at a cabin way the heck back into miles and miles of mountains and mountains, complete with total isolation. The only modern convenience was a butane stove to cook on. Firewood for heat, and to warm water for bathing, and for cooking; candles and lanterns and a fireplace for light. [And a chain saw to help cut up more wood if needed but it wasn't.] And NO TELEPHONES, the cell having been turned off. Sort of a On Walden Pond vacation from humanity. Watched a lot of wildlife, even saw two gray wolves, very rare and almost unheard of in this area. Watched a hawk take out and then devour a squirrel. It was a great time. We slept and ate and read and slept and walked and talked and slept and did a lot of [Censor's Note: At this point our writer will Plead a Mindy rather than face criminal charges and possible banishment from what Dear Ginger calls "The Village People." Thank you for your time and understanding.] As lot of that, really. :) And Ginger? Ginger, wonderful, helpful great friend that [gender reference deleted] is, was our official House Sitter. Apparently [gender reference deleted] replaced us in The Village and did a great job of it. [Gender reference deleted] has always been very close to both John and I. Hoot! Hoot! as [gender reference deleted] would say! :D

  45. Debbe59 on 03 Jan 2013 at 4:30 am #

    Mindy’s back..Mindy’s back…and you too John. Sounds like a delightful getaway. So, what’s for breakfast this morning?

    I knew yesterday when I read the real time strip, it was going to open the flood gates. And, the first person I thought of was GR….and his inspiration to this ‘village’.

    It was 8 degree’s yesterday with a real feel of zero (I hate that ‘real feel’ term, you want real feel, get naked and run outside :) !) The temp in the hen house was 56 degrees, remember there is no heat in the building. As I stood up on the front deck and looked up over the cage tops of some 80,000 hens, you could see the body heat from them rising…pretty cool. Doesn’t take much to entertain me :)

    GR, still have Junior, and he was crowing yesterday morning as usual and the boss man was standing not but 10 feet from him. I’m surprised he didn’t tell my son to ‘dispose’ of him. I was ready though with some logic of keeping Junior around. I think his crowing helps stimulate the hens into laying. But I’ve been told no, these hens have been genetically cross bred to mass produce. At maturity, they will lay approximately 80,000 eggs a day…and that’s no ‘yolk’ son…

    I hope I don’t bore anyone with the trivia of my job, but after years of working in the corporate world, I enjoy my job and find it fascinating , so instead of putting up with a bunch of sucks, I put up with clucks….errr, errr errrrrr!!!!

    And Jean…so sorry for the loss of your dog…it hurts, I know.

    Ya’ll have a blessed day!

    =^..^=

  46. Mindy on 03 Jan 2013 at 5:21 am #

    Debbe, I did get naked and run outside in snow up to my…Tropic of Capricorn. I could feel Ghost lurking in the trees. But talk about headlights! Wow! John, as usual, displayed more common sense and simply waited on the front porch, such as it was, with a blanket, warm boots and a cup of cocoa. As cold as it was, the cocoa stayed relatively warm because I didn’t do the Lady Godiva, Naked Madonna, Mother Nature in Heat thing very long at all. If I’d been a male, John joked, I’d have had blue [deleted] for sure. I had to look up Blue [deleted]. 80,000 eggs a day? Who raids the nests? Do the hens lay more than once a day? Or do you nurture and tend to 80K chickens? How many do you have in the…rookery? Hennery? Ginger is staying with us a few more days. John and I both are really fond of [gender reference deleted].

    Jean, I’m sorry for your loss as well. A dog is often far more than a mere pet.

  47. Mindy on 03 Jan 2013 at 6:56 am #

    And so is a cat or any other animal companion. Except Iguanas. Or poisonous snakes. Or some relatives.

  48. TruckerRon on 03 Jan 2013 at 7:32 am #

    Mindy, the one egg-laying operation I visited at a college had cages for the hens, there were no nests. The eggs simply rolled out of the bottom of the nests into a system of troughs, conveyor belts, etc., to their common destination. No raiding of the nests, no fighting with the hens. It was totally impersonal and automatic. Feeding them was similar, with their food and water being dispensed without anyone ever touching it, just sliding feed barrels into place, opening them up, and pouring the feed into a large vat. It was thoroughly depressing.

  49. Mindy on 03 Jan 2013 at 7:39 am #

    That’s depressing!

  50. Steve From Royal Oak, MI on 03 Jan 2013 at 8:05 am #

    I have to agree with Arlo on his New Year’s Resolution. I would urge all of you to follow his advice and keep active. Physically, mentally and spiritually. I am living proof that keeping active physically is an excellent way to recover from a major operation. I realize that I am extremely fortunate, as sometimes things do not go as planned, but losing a few lbs. and walking 20 minutes a day will rejuvenate most of us.

  51. Symply Fargone on 03 Jan 2013 at 8:06 am #

    So everyone is back, glad to see…I think JJ is snickering away somewhere at all of us. New Years resolutions? Hmmm, in the past I have always kept the one I made, not to make any! I believe that January does not infer any special qualities to resolve, if you are going to make a change, today is the best day to do so, so do it!

    High beams have for me been a delight since I became aware of them, life will not change that way for me and I will try to be discreet, but…..

    Mindy and John glad you are back; Mindy men are satisfied with the little things in life, because after you put all those big rocks in the jar there is room for all those little pieces of sand……you go n the internet so I know you know…

    My name has been used(and I’m laughing about it) yet I am still Symply Fargone.

  52. sandcastler on 03 Jan 2013 at 8:18 am #

    Mindy, glad you and John had a delightful getaway. Although reading between the lines, deleted sections, never realized you two were dope smokers. ;-)

  53. Jerry in Fl on 03 Jan 2013 at 11:00 am #

    Gray skys and misty rain here. It’s almost a pleasure to have some winter weather for a change. My Japanese maples had not even lost their leaves until last saturday and one of them still has many of its leaves.

  54. Mark in Boston on 03 Jan 2013 at 7:33 pm #

    Another good Mae West line: “I’m the girl who works at Paramount all day and Fox all night.”

  55. Bryan on 03 Jan 2013 at 9:56 pm #

    Highbeams are a joy to behold. May they ever bring their warming glow on cold winter days (or frozen food sections).
    Sounds delightful, Mindy, and something I could have enjoyed oh, 20 years ago. But the sight of your Tropic of Capricorn dashing through the snow, that’s a sight even a broken man could enjoy.