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You see kids today staggering down the street under preposterously large backpacks, as if they’re Sherpa guides schlepping camera equipment up Mt. Everest to record the triumph of the famous mountain climber. Backpacks have become so large, and so laden with the gear necessary to kiddom these days, that some children actually are experiencing spinal issues. Plus, in today’s unfortunate environment, backpacks, or “rucksacks” if you will, present a security puzzle for schools and parents. Having said all that, I think backpacks are a perfectly logical idea. When I was going to school, we simply slipped our books under our arms, where they constantly slid, shifted and dropped on the ground. One technological innovation was a simple strap, like a belt, that slipped around the books, but wormy little guys such as myself didn’t dare use one, because the least the big kids could do would be to hog-tie you with it.

Every time I mention it, I get a few more orders, so I’d be crazy to stop mentioning it. It isn’t too late to sorta pre-order late. Just send an email to: preorder@arloandjanis.com