Clear as Mud

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
There’s nothing wrong with a good pun. The reason puns are thought of as lowly, or cheap, is because truly good puns are very difficult and very rare. They are not a pointless scrambling of words and letters, and they should not be so obvious–or so reaching—as to elicit nothing but groans and rolling eyes. In fact, puns are so difficult, an entire sub-genre of humor has grown up around them: jokes about how bad puns are. (See Pearls before Swine.) I’ve done maybe two or three good puns in my entire career. I count the above as one of them.

281 responses to “Clear as Mud”

  1. Good Morning all! It is early for me, since I did not get to sleep until 6 AM. Nothing in particular bothering me, just could not sleep. So I shall be running behind all day.

    Debbe: Prayers for you. Seeing people we love not getting along has to be one of the hardest things in the world to endure. Been there – done that! Is Andrew not taking medication? Unfortunately, not taking prescribed meds is a byproduct of bipolar.

  2. Arlo, Arlo, Arlo…

    Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

    Rule #2 about comedy is timing, timing, timing. The penalty for breaking the rules of comedy? Death. See above.

  3. Punsters are obviously guilty of thinking faster and about more than the situation requires. So of course they are resented by the other folk who are struggling to cope and don’t have any brain power to spare.

  4. I was thinking about getting all literal–so I will. As a gardener, soil texture and composition is critical. “Dirt” can be a variety of mineral and organic content. Since she gardens, Janice clearly knows the difference in soil types. Dry mud implies compacted soil, with no air space due to original displacement by water, currently dehydrated, hard, and brittle. She would have certainly known if it were lawn or garden soil, “manure”, mud, or dried mud.

  5. Just saw an inflammatory comment on a story about Detroit and another person posted: “Sir: If you have no idea of what you are talking about, you should not post anything”

    I was half tempted to post “But if everyone did that, then I would have nothing in my newsfeed”>

  6. Janis reminds me of a Peanuts strip in which Linus’ toast was not prepared to his satisfaction. “Do you expect me to eat raw toast??” he demanded.

  7. Puns have been displaced as the lowest form of humour by blends¹. Blends are just like puns, except instead of having to come up with different words that work, you just take the whatever words you want and mash them together to produce a new one.

    ¹ Often called portmanteaus, but those are properly a subset. Although common usage has degraded that to the point that they’re practically synonymous to most people.

  8. Oh my goodness, Village posters! All the above entries are brilliant. I was going to comment on a few, but after reading and thinking about them, I am in awe.

  9. One language that depends on portmanteaus and blends is German. Where we tend to go with acronyms and to shorten words, they happily compound them. For instance, I might need an MRI… a German would need a Magnetresonanzbildgebungs. A technician might bring in an X-ray cart to my room… a German would use a Röntgen Wagen.

  10. TruckerRon, I can break down 3/4 of the MRI, but then my Coilege German breaks down. Magnet-just what it looks like. Resonanz-resonance. Bild-picture. Gebungs-?

  11. oh yeah, my Rosetta Stone has taught me an X-ray is a roentgenbild (bild-picture), lettuce is saladhead and a sandwich is occupied bread

  12. Twenty years ago I was a technical editor called on to format and pull in text, photos, and diagrams for a medical device manual. Everything had been translated into French, Italian, German, and Spanish (FIGS for short). When we put the completed manuals side-by-side with the original English, the German version was, by far, the thickest. Only the Spanish was thinner than the English.

  13. Compounds are not blends or portmanteaus. Just concatenating stems isn’t enough… the words need to be mashed together in a blender with bits flying out. German has no fear of just using long compounds so it traditionally doesn’t bother… but an example of a German blend would be, “Teuro” (teuer + Euro).

  14. emb: Thanks for the post quoting the Composers Datebook. I’ve enjoyed the Writers Almanac for many years but didn’t know about the other one. I will be sure to share it with my musician friends.

  15. First trip to the supermarket today, since February, when I broke my ankle and was in a cast for weeks. Was a little nervous about driving … couldn’t do that either … thankfully, the shopping was entertaining and fruitful. Rather slow, but when I finally got back to the car a nice woman offered her help putting the bags in, which I gratefully accepted. Noticed the car parked beside mine was a Toyota Prius Hybrid (have I got that right?) and when I backed out I read the vanity license plate WATTGAS. Not sure if it’s a pun, but I got a big charge out of it.

    Nodak Wayne, the video of the barn owl was great — I am a bird watcher (informal amateur.)

    Trucker Ron, I loved your comment!
    Whistling Rufus, it’s been too long! Let’s see you here more often.

  16. Nodak Wayne: Thanks. Action fast enough that had to view the video 2x to be sure Tyto* kept the vole. Now have to look again / sex of the harrier.

    Charlotte: “Toyota Prius Hybrid” is correct, and they are great. Daughter now has my ’03, which had only 80,000 mi. on it. Got a new white one last summer; still reach into my pocket for the key, or if I’ve remembered not to bother, am likely to reach again when I go to start the car. Learned to drive late, ’54?, in Ann Arbor. Rode subways in NYC. Classmates were high schoolers*

  17. Another good example from German, TruckerRon is their WWII version of the bazooka. It was developed after the Wehrmacht captured some bazookas in North Africa, did a little experimenting and found that they liked what they saw. Their version used a black powder charge in a single-shot tube (unlike the bazooka, which used a rocket and could easily be reloaded). They called their new weapon a “panzerfaust,” meaning either “armor fist” or “tank fist, connecting the two parts of the name into one simple word.

  18. Ever notice how jealous some people become when you think of a pun first?

    They try to cover it with eye rolling and so on, but the punster knows the truth.

  19. sideburns, so in this modern era, our Army has gone to a version of the old German weapon. Single-shot and disposable, like so much of our modern tech. But I guess it beats having a loader carrying multiple rounds instead of his own weapon. One man I worked with was a Marine who served in the Korean War. He was a BAR gunner in his squad and frequently mentioned the little guy who was assigned to carry his extra ammo. From what he said, his partner had a lot of trouble in the mountains trying to manage that load.

  20. “vanity license plate WATTGAS.” Sounds ~ that may have been an all electric Prius. There are 4 models: 1. Standard hybrid [mine] = hatchback that seats 5, w/ more headroom than most sedans [Priuses are short but not compacts]. 2. A bigger model w/ more storage space and perhaps legroom [local UMC members that own one are both quite tall]. 3. All electric model. 4. Mini-Prius, the only one Consumer Reports did not recommend. Peace, emb

  21. emb, or that may just have been a play on how the hybrid works. Turning gas into watts that the car then runs on. By the way, have any of you considered that the original hybrid vehicles were the diesel-electric locomotives? They use diesel engines instead of gas, but the principle is the same. Wonder why nobody’s worked out a diesel hybrid car, or truck.

  22. VW has a diesel car that does not smell, the ads say. If you go to the Decorah eagle cam,

    you first have to watch an ad [that pays for the upkeep, I guess]. Sometimes there’s just an ad, sometimes you click on a choice of 2. Three stereotypical elderly Jewish ladies, though seems like I saw some of them at an Upper West Side fish deli [no, that was decades ago; must be their daughters]. Anyway, there are 6 or so VW old lady ads, all funny. Takes me back. I don’t know why VW

  23. My take on the vanity plate WATTGAS is, at least a double meaning, maybe triple: 1. Watts instead of gasoline; 2. A question, What gas? meaning, don’t need gasoline; 3. The meanings you guys have tossed around. I thought it was awfully clever and funny.

  24. Good morning Villagers….

    Granny Carol, Denise and Miss Charlotte……what Andrew said about Ian being close to losing his job was fabricated…Ian worked with The Boss all day at the other hen house. The Boss commended Ian on his reaction. Andrew did not come to work. Drama.. I hate. Ian said he’d get even with Andrew…I told him he wouldn’t. Even The Boss said Ian was a better man for not swinging back. I told Ian if Andrew apologizes (which I doubt if he does) to accept that apology, but then add that they can no longer be “brothers’ and life will go on. Ian liked that.

    What my son lacks in some areas, he excels in others….like computers.

    I don’t think we’ll be seeing little Kyler anymore….now that depresses me. And Brooklynne Rose has outgrown me…she has Rachael now, and I am glad for that….but I do miss her. She acts so indifferent to me now…but, I have good Sunday morning memories of making griddle cakes with her.

    Yes, Granny Carol, the poultry business is on high bio-security right now. We’ve been lucky that it has not affected anyone in our area….and this area is populated with turkey and layer houses

    And Miss Charlotte…so good to see you getting out, driving, shopping again. Remember….baby steps, take baby steps. Soon you will be yourself again. I’m so happy for you.

    I love puns… Mark, I will get back to those later…after work maybe. Thanks for the link

    Jerry, glad you enjoy ‘Breaking Cat News’… is so cute….it’s my second on my list to read, right after A&J, then ‘Peanuts’, then ‘BC’, then ‘Dogs of C-Kennel”.

    GR 🙁 please let us know if you are ok….we’re worried. Is your mother doing ok???

    ya’ll have a blessed day

  25. Is that a real book Janis is taking to bed? Our library had its used book sale last weekend. Paperbacks were fifty cents and hardbacks a dollar. Most people bought more than they could carry in a bag or a box. I bought mostly hardbacks and spent only $13. I haven’t read half of what I bought last time. They do it twice a year.

  26. Debbe,

    The dancing anaconda was a cut-and-paste job into individual frames, then combining into a file that displays in sequence. It’s called an animated GIF (graphics interchange format). There are programs that make it easy to combine. The biggest challenge is to get the images overlaid exactly so the animation is smooth.

    Sorry that the kids are losing interest. They out-grow us…but someday they will be interested again.

    I don’t remember what day it was, but Ghost said that he’d be absent for a while. Hopefully the absence is nothing serious. I’m sure he’ll be back once time allows.

    EMB, regarding the TIP, I’m pretty sure that (in general) the shoe is on the other foot. There is a beautiful sunrise in progress at Old Faithful.

  27. It sounds like your first venture out, Charlotte, was a wonderful success. I’ve had a few leg, foot, and ankle accidents (I’m a klutz) and that first driving experience afterward can feel a little awkward. When you said the shopping was entertaining, were you referring to people watching? Or to the enjoyment you felt being able to get out and do the everyday things that we take for granted?

  28. Yep, Jean, he definitely goes on the list for the award. I’m sure he would have said the idea to keep it in a pillowcase was a BISLAGIATT (“But It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time”).

  29. Denise in Michigan and Jean, a pillowcase or cloth bag is the method of choice for confining a captured snake, but only till you can get it into a more permanent container. Guy should have paid more attention to knot-tying in the Scouts, and bought himself an aquarium!

  30. Dear Debbe, many thanks for your kind wishes, you are so nice to send me your thoughts when Lord knows, you have plenty of troubles of your own. May your problems fade away and resolve into better days. I feel sorry about the children, but who knows, never say never.

    Denise, you know just how I feel. Yes, I get lots of entertainment from a supermarket trip. People-watching is fun, the freedom of walking around is nice, and seeing the market as a “Temple of Abundance” as I do; also “The Temple of Excess and Greed”. I have to shake my head in wonder at the mountains of soft drinks and bottled water, the near infinite variety of snacks and chips, shelf after shelf of bags and packages. But I also like seeing the bright colors of the packages, the colorful arrangement of fruit, vegetables and greens in Produce, even the frozen foods glittering behind their glass doors. It’s all good!

    Norm, thanks for the compliment. I’m a little disappointed that the vanity plate I thought was so clever didn’t go over too well here. I’m going to put it on Facebook and see what my family and friends get out of it!

  31. Polaroids, haven’t thought about them in a long while. Now where in the world did my favorite picture of my better half ever get off to in all of the moves?

  32. The 4:35 MDT eruption of OF was spectacular! The water column was about 5 times the height of the tree line at the level of zoom that put the bleachers at the bottom of the screen. I’ve never seen it that tall before.

  33. Nodak Wayne-

    I had the same thought.

    I’ve always suspected the opportunity to take private photos was a major driver of the transition to digital photos.

  34. Debbe

    Lead story on the NEWS tonight was the Avian Flu
    New possibility of transmission is wind borne dust and feathers.
    This is different strain than last time. Vaccine in the works.
    Probably will be too late this time and wont work next time.

  35. Mark, that “Close to Home” is good. A Facebook friend sent me two photos of a real Cardinal in her birdbath, that she took this morning — nice.

    Mindy, thanks for the appreciation. I posted the same story on Facebook today, which I’d said I would, for not too many Villagers seemed to get the humor. Well, I did get lots of comments on Facebook, they liked it and noticed the plays on words that I had enjoyed.

    Dear emb, I’ve neglected to thank you for posting the Composers Datebook about Aaron Copland — it was very interesting. I’ve decided to look at that site and the Writers Almanac more often.

  36. Picture the old west saloon, the boys are whooping it up and someone is beating the keys on the old piano when Dead Eye comes through the swinging doors. Everybody freezes and there is silence while they stare at Dead Eye. If you have squirrels in your back yard and you let the cat out then the piano stops.

  37. Good morning Villagers..

    The saga continues…Andrew was in his stealth mode yesterday….dropped off the ‘dead’ truck (old GMC we use to haul the dead) at the #1 hen house, without coming in and saying anything. Ian looks horrible, right eye is black and blue, and pain all the way down to his upper gum. May go see the doctor today, she is closed on Wednesdays.

    Old Bear, yes there is a possible new strain…and I’ve heard they are working on a vaccine. Some 1.5 million hens (I’ve heard) had to be ‘depopuolated’ in Iowa I believe. This is not good. I asked what is done with the carcasses…they have to be buried onsite.

    Oh, and the mushroom season is upon us here….you think deer season is bad, there are people crawling all over these woods looking for that mushroom….and no GR 😉 it’s not the magic kind 🙂
    Morales is the name of the mushroom, if that is the correct word….Emb, you’d know.

    gotta go..

    ya’lll have a blessed day

  38. I loved the way you explained it, Jerry! I imagined the piano was playing “Camptown Races”. Jimmy got the squirrels tail talking in the trees just right, too.

    Debbe, I hope Ian has a chance to go to the doctor today, and that Andrew gets help for his illness soon. Hugs. Damn, there are times I wish this wasn’t a virtual Village, but a real one.

    Ghost, thanks for the “wham, bam”! 😉

  39. Denise: “Thank you, ma’am.” 😉

    Debbe 😉 Ian may have a fractured cheekbone, with the pain radiating like that. He should get it checked.

    emb: Mushroom hunters are also much less likely to hurt themselves falling out of tree stands.

  40. When I was in high school, there was a squirrel who would taunt our 3 cats (2 Siamese and an Honorary Siamese grey tabby) every day from the branch of the tree, frisking his fluffy tail provocatively. Often he would venture out onto the ground a short distance from the tree, using every bit of squirrel profanity that he knew, until one of the cats could stand it no longer and bolt for the squirrel, whereupon the squirrel bee-lined back up the tree with the enraged predator in hot pursuit… until about 8 feet up the tree, when the cat’s impetus petered out and it was clear to him the squirrel would make a clean getaway further up the tree. The chagrined cat then had to drop to the ground under a cascade of squirrel taunts, curse words and further tail-frisking. The scowls from the cats could bore through concrete at that point.

    This squirrel particularly delighted in taunting the younger Siamese, who always proved unable to resist the bait put down by the rodent, and was routinely humiliated for several weeks as he lost the race halfway up the tree. The squirrel would watch for him each morning when we let him out and start right in on him. This was apparently loads of fun for this antagonist.

    Then one fine morning, the cats came up with a plan. The younger Siamese slipped out of the house well before dawn as my Dad left for work. The older Siamese then later made an appearance outside, right at the time the younger cat usually appeared.

    Down came the squirrel from the tree into the yard to taunt his favorite adversary. But Siamese cats apparently all look the same to squirrels, apparently, because the buck-toothed tormentor was not apprised that this was NOT the younger Siamese until he suddenly felt four fangs in his neck from behind. Someone had been waiting for hours for just that opportunity.

    Shortly thereafter, there was an offering at our back door, and Dodge City was peaceful once more.

  41. That’s a delightful story, Evan. Thanx for sharing it.

    I was out at the VA yesterday for a routine appointment. Because I smoke a pipe, my doctor wants me to have an ultrasound of my aorta, to screen for potential heart issues. He sent me over to the right people when I was done, but alas, it has to be done fasting. Right. I’m scheduled for laser surgery on one eye (not Lasik) next month at 8:30 AM, the only time they schedule them, so I’ll have the ultrasound when that’s done and then eat breakfast.

  42. On mushrooms. In France pharmacists are trained in mushrooms identification; they will sort your rooms in to the edible and those to serve the inlaws. 😉

  43. Loon and sand, the shot of the Tatra Mountains is awesome! Only in France would pharmacists ID your shrooms…I can’t imagine that anywhere else. My Mom’s Father used to take my Dad shroom hunting. I regret that Dad passed away before he had a chance to teach me.

  44. Trucker, as someone with two neurostimulator implants in my chest and brain I was curious what an icd was. I looked it up and I still don’t know. Could you explain?

  45. Good morning Villagers….

    Evan, what a great story teller you are. I read it twice, I enjoyed it so much. Creativity in your writing skills, I read…thanks.

    Love the shroom puns, and Denise, that is what they’re called here…shrooms 🙂

    Loon, glad sand posted those pics…the one Denise mentioned, the shot of the mountains is glorious, it would be a nice background from any patio.

    GR 😉 , never thought about a fractured cheekbone. Ian didn’t want to go to doctor, been having a lot of auger problems at #1, and the little hens are laying little eggs. They have to be hand picked off the rod conveyor.

    I copied your thought for the day and will give it to Ian, as The Boss and him are to be at The Corp at 1 pm for a meeting. With his black eye, he will stand out.

    Wisconsin and Minnesota are on state alert because of this Avian virus. I’m assuming that is what the meeting will be about. The 5 million birds that were depopulated is about the same size of The Corp.

    Gal..thanks for your prayers….I’ve been really depressed over this incident. Ian was sitting in the passenger seat with the seat belt on when he got hit. I went in to get paper towels for his nose bleed, and when I handed them to Ian, why didn’t I slap Andrew across the face…with one continuous flow of motion from handing the paper towels to his face…he stood that close to me.

    TR….I slept through TV….again. Got up had a pumpkin muffin and a glass of milk and went to bed….

    gotta go…

    ya’ll have a blessed day

    doing OK Indy Mindy in the old store?

  46. Jerry, AICD stands for automated implanted cardiac defibrillator. Instead of just pacing the heart’s rhythm like a pacemaker, it senses when the heart’s rhythm becomes abnormal and shocks it back into normal patterns. It’s used for people who have arrythmias that drugs won’t control.

  47. Does the person know it when it happens? Do they require battery replacement periodically? My batteries last about two years so every year I have to have one or the other replaced.

  48. Jerry, yes to both. From what I’ve read in my work, the patients usually use the firing of the defib as a cue to call their doctors. And if the batteries run down they start to get their symptoms back, so they know something is not right.

  49. Debbe, two wrongs really don’t make a right, and that’s why you didn’t hit Andrew. Is Ian still having pain? I keep thinking about Ghost’s mention of a fractured cheekbone.

    Yay, Robin is back in today’s real-time strip! I am so torn; I want to see more about Robin and Janis, but I also want more Gene’s family strips. Jimmy always leaves us wanting more!

    The mushroom that gets my vote for favorite is the plain old white button, Ghost. It’s so darn adaptable and flavorful that it’s hard not to love. But I think that every shroom is pretty darn good. They are one of the reasons I could be a vegetarian. Bacon is one of the reasons I couldn’t.

  50. While I agree that most mushrooms are good, I generally prefer criminis and portobellos. They just have a better taste and texture to me. And I also agree with Denise that I could be a vegetarian, except for bacon.

    Debbe, smacking Andrew a good one might have felt good at the moment, but wouldn’t really have helped the situation.

    Ghost, Sweetie, 🙂

  51. Eat a fungus?
    One reason Morels are popular for woods picking is they are distinctive, can’t get wrong.
    Done in butter all you taste is butter, like Lobster, just eat the butter.

    Jerry when that thing goes off you WILL know it. A friend had one and when it fired it almost set him on his butt

  52. Jerry in Fl:

    Quoting from Wikipedia: “An implantable cardioverter-defibrillator (ICD) or automated implantable cardioverter defibrillator (AICD) is a device implantable inside the body, able to perform both cardioversion, defibrillation and pacing of the heart.”

    My personal device is a CRT–D which means that it performs cardio resynchronization therapy as well as defibrillates. I have been told that roughly 10% of us have oddities in our hearts’ wiring resulting in arrhythmias. In my case it means that my ventricles do not beat in perfect synchronicity (like a car with bad timing!). When my sudden cardiac arrest (SCA) occurred my left ventricle had dilated to the point that, like an old balloon, its walls had thinned and lost their strength.

    The CRT-D keeps my ventricle beating together, and watches for irregular heart beats. When it finds them it ups the voltage to force things back into a regular rhythm (it’s called ‘pacing the heart’ or anti-tachycardia pacing (ATP)), and if that fails it prepares to administer the ‘big one,’ (which some folks call the ‘Jesus jolt’ because of what we tend to shout when it happens).

    The battery on my first device lasted five years and four months before it reached its replacement voltage back in January. My new device is projected, because of improved programming and electronic capabilities, to last seven or eight years.

    So far the ATP function has kept me out of trouble. The device records what my heart does as well as the therapies that the device delivers. The doctor has tweaked my medications successfully, so I have not experienced the ‘big one’ yet. I’m not too concerned since it means the device will have saved my life, and there is a high probability that I will be unconscious when it happens.

  53. TruckerRon, I suppose the device means you no longer drive a truck? What does it mean to having any kind of drivers license? I can’t imagine getting the “big one” while driving.

  54. “They are one of the reasons I could be a vegetarian.”

    Recent DNA comparisons indicate that, a billion or so YA, after the protozoan lineages leading to today’s [mostly] green plants and to today’s animals [all invert. phyla + us chordates] split, the ancestors of today’s fungi branched off from the early animal lineage. I.e., mushrooms, molds, etc. are more closely related to houseflies, walleyes, and barflies, than they are to algae, moss, blue spruce, and yellow lady’s slipper.

    I’m not suggesting we change our terminology, just providing some perspective. Vegetable, vegetarian, and such are culinary, not biological terms. Botanically, a tomato is a fruit, specifically a berry, but gastronomically, it’s a veggie. So is a portobello*.

    Bon appetite, emb

  55. Nodak Wayne:

    Having a heart attack (myocardial infarction or MI) does not preclude one from having a CDL. A mere blockage of a heart artery (or 5) is viewed as a temporary setback. It’s typically not fatal (though you may wish it were!) and once you’re regained your strength and have the doctor’s official okey-dokey, all driving restrictions are lifted. OTOH, if a heart event such as mine results in a loss of consciousness, you automatically lose your CDL for life. A few states, with the doctor’s approval, Will issue intrastate commercial licenses, but few trucking companies are willing to hire those drivers because they typically self-insure.

    The states also vary in how they treat noncommercial drivers licenses and heart issues. If your device delivers the ‘big one’ in some states you are automatically denied driving rights for six months. Other states do not monitor such things or have restrictions; they leave it up to the physicians’ judgment.

  56. If you can find a good Asian market, you may be able to get Beech Mushrooms, either white or brown. They look similar to button mushrooms, but with longer stems and smallish crowns. What you get is a package containing a clump of them, and all you really need to do is cut the base off, as it tends to get woody, and the clump just falls apart and is ready for cooking.

    There’s a brand of portobello out here that claims to be a good source of Vitamin D. They expose them to UV light to give them a better color and the mushrooms produce the same chemicals your skin does as it tans that your body can turn into the vitamin.

  57. Lest anyone think I had butter-soaked Shiitake mushrooms immersed in cream sauce for lunch, it was actually a tuna sandwich, made from spring water-packed tuna, dill pickle relish, chopped hard-boiled egg, and light mayo, on whole-wheat bread. With a kosher dill pickle on the side.

    Just 14% of my daily food-point allowance.

  58. Trucker Ron another good way to lose your licence for six months is to pass out and have a grand mal seizure. That happened to me in my fifties and all the medical people would say about the seizure is, “First seizures don’t happen at your age without a physical trauma.” 3 of the same in 6 months put the lie to that. Now much older and on medication and seizure free. It is interesting to pass out in a Mexican restaurant and wake up covered in refried beans, being held up the manager. A real “Whut wuz THAT?” moment. That earned me a ride in the ambulance that time. Lost my driving privileges for 6 months, it about drove me nuts.

  59. That reminds me of the morning when I got up early and had plenty of time to get ready for work so I put the alarm clock on the kitchen counter and retired to the sofa for a short nap. When the alarm went off I apparently jumped up, began passing out and made it just far enough that I remember my chin hitting the counter very hard and thinking “what’s going on?” I woke up on the floor about 20 minutes later. I was lucky because it could have resulted in lost teeth, etc. BTW that was shortly after my last divorce and I was living alone.

  60. The “bra bandit” story was funny… and there were other stories on that site that were pretty good also. Especially the one about the housebreaker who heated up and ate tater tots, then went to sleep on the sofa! Just gotta shake my head…

  61. Village Loon, oops. We still need that edit button. When I lived in Tennessee, this kind of theft was a frequent occurrence at the mall in Murfreesboro, too. Most likely being sold on Ebay or flea markets, but I bet the thieves just steal to sell to the resellers.

    Good joke, Loon, about going braless.

  62. Thought for the Day: “Avoid stupid people, stupid places, and stupid things.” – John S. Farnam

    Debbe 😉 Might want to pass that one on, also.

  63. Debbe is right, they are ‘shrooms here. The puns were great. Glad to read about all of the people on the mend and how biomechanical several Villagers’ hearts are. 🙂 And boo to the cheap shot to the eye.

    As to my job? Oh boy, this week takes the cake. [WARNING: Lengthy post ahead.]
    Assistant number one (A1, from store I just left) is doing okay with the store. I stop in every other day or so for a couple hours to review paperwork, make corrections, leave feedback, check store conditions, give second shift some chores. Unfortunately, long story short, new management for the company means changes in accounting. The scratch off lottery ticket accounting has not gone well anywhere. This got not only my assistant, but me as well. Compounding things, assistant number two (A2,from new store) gave A1 her day off. A2 failed to follow directions from A1 and further entangled the paperwork. I ended up leaving my inventory audit to go back and save A1 from further distress and entanglement. Both locations are still short-staffed, and scheduling feels a bit a cross between Whack-A-Mole and Battleship. A2 is now relegated to filling in to give people days off – until she can learn to follow instructions I’m not going to have her do paperwork. I don’t have that kind of time to waste.
    Mind you, store with A1 isn’t really my responsibility any more. However, best laid plans and all that … the manager-in-training (MIT) isnt going to A1’s store. Today our district when code red critical, and my boss is going to have a nervous breakdown or heart attack. Possibly both.
    The fuel location I had a couple years ago is now without a manager and primary day shift employee. The manager and day shift guy started dating and moved in together. (Not against the rules as long as one of them went to different location. They opted to not tell the boss and hide the romance.) And the pair then started bullying another employee (who shouldn’t have been hired to begin with, another story), AND said manager and employee haven’t to bothered to come to work for the past few days. Boss man went looking for her yesterday, and guilty parties found out they had been outed. (BAD) Today, manager, assistant manager, and day shift didn’t come to work today. (REALLY BAD) Boss and I sort of expected the couple wouldn’t, but the assistant was a surprise. Turns out, his house had been fire-bombed. (WORSE) Very possibly by pair who believe he ratted them out. (EVEN WORSE)
    … Oh and the other big fuel store with issues? That manager went in for emergency kidney stone surgery today. She’s out for a while.
    So yeah, I’ll do a bit of extra work for a while. I could always have it worse. I could be my boss.

  64. Oh my gosh! I shall add you also to my prayer list! WHAT is wrong with people? Seems as though the work ethic has gone the way of the dodo.

  65. Lady Mindy, have you considered a career change into something with less stress and drama…such as coal mining, inner-city law enforcement or crop duster flying?

  66. Oh, and an old college professor had a heck of a scare. The stage his daughter was one during a school performance collapsed into the orchestra pit. Mercifully, no performers in the pit, but several children were hurt. My professor’s daughter was okay physically, but emotionally shaken. It could have been so much worse for everyone. (My professor’s son plays in the pit orchestra; he must be doubly thankful.)

  67. Prayers for everyone and I’m sure we can all use a few extra prayers.

    GR6, You reminded me of one of my favorite sayings:

    “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”

    I also like one of Yogi’s gems: “You better be careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there”!

  68. A stage in California ALSO collapsed during a performance and the videos are eerily alike although there were more people on the stage in the other video. If ufo’s are warning us of earthquakes maybe stages collapsing are warning us of volcanos erupting.

  69. Wow, a great story TR sent us from the Oxford Times. That man is surely remarkable, and very interesting … I agree with Galliglo.

    Mindy from Indy, you have more problems on your plate right now than I’ve had in my entire life! Yes, I’ve been very fortunate. You are so smart and so strong, you will handle them appropriately, but golly, it’s a pity all this stuff happened. Sigh. I will be thinking of you every day for a while.

    My husband Chris had quite a time with his ICD. We called it the Defibrillator. He was 65 to 70 years old when he developed the need for one. We got a lot of information to work on before it was implanted, one being that if and when it delivers the shock, it feels like being kicked in the chest by a horse. We found out — it really does. There was a heavy fall of snow and we were shoveling it the next day. He thought he was taking it easy but apparently overdid it. I heard a funny noise and looked around — he was leaning against the hood of the van, and sliding down it — then recovered and stood up. It happened, then it was over, just like that … leaving him rather shaken of course. In his mind ever after, he had died right there, and been brought back to life by the device.

    It happened a few times after that, not too often. He didn’t ever worry and obsess over it. I think he felt he’d experienced the worst and it was okay. BTW, people talk of “replacing the battery”. They don’t. The technician he saw regularly could measure how much electricity was left; when it got low, they removed the device surgically, at the hospital, and put in a new one. The second one lasted for years.

  70. For my neurostimulators (rub the paddles together, now apply them to each side of the head) they actually take it, left or right, out, put a new battery in and replace it. EMB, if you’re still with me I think that it may have been you who suggested that a study of Yellowstone’s geysers was underway. It turns out that there is a super super volcano beneath the super volcano. There is a video with the report with interesting animation.

  71. I’ve learned…. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be,
    everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.* Andy Rooney

    Mindy – You can be goofy here or at least observe the goofiness.

  72. Jerry in FL, what I think the stage collapses are really warning us of is not to overload the structure, and to have it as well-designed by a first-class engineering team as possible.

    Mindy from Indy, I truly feel for you in this. I was site supervisor for a private security company here for about 3 years, and for about 6 months in Tennessee. People like you are very rare in this kind of work and the management comes to rely on you far more than they should. They have to, when you look at most of the human? material they hire. I never had one possibly firebomb someone’s house, but I did have a guy drive the company station wagon into a settling pond one night. I had trained him myself, walked him through all the areas where we had to go, and explained where we could and could not drive. Lucky he didn’t drown and that they did not cancel our contract. As Red Skelton used to say, Good night and God bless.

  73. Good morning Villagers..

    The meeting yesterday at The Corp was all about this Avian virus and enhanced bio-security. The paperwork brought back is unbelievable.

    First bullet warns: “everything outside your barn is considered infected!”

    Second bullet warns: “Scientist project this to last from 3 – 5 years (travels 2 – 5 miles dust in air” Ian said that’s with the wind NOT blowing.

    Third bullet: “The Corp will cover the cost of clothing and disinfectant (Lysol)”

    Does anyone remember the original smell of Lysol before they started scenting it? I do, because The Boss bought an unscented bottle of Lysol last year when we cleaned my hen house…that stuff really stinks….it’s one fowl smell (pun intended)

    They have to shower in-between hen houses too….and change shoes. Think I’ll hit The Boss up for new work shoes 🙂

    And the teens are considered “not regular employees” and have to wear disposable outerwear. This will go over like lead fart 🙂 I can hear ‘Skittle” now. “They want me to wear that??!!”

    Ya’ll have a blessed Caturday…


  74. for those not interested, just scroll down.

    I got a phone call from Rachell yesterday evening. She asked how Ian was, told her. She then asked why I brought Ian over to #1 when Andrew had told me on the phone that he was going to beat him…that sometimes it takes a good beating to get people to think about things.

    I told her that I didn’t think Andrew would hit him…I also told her everyone has threatened to beat some sense into Ian at one time or another, including me.

    Then I said, wait a minute, are you trying to turn this around and make me look like the guilty party? Well, she said, you did bring him over to the hen house when you knew Andrew would be there. Again, I said, I didn’t think he would hit him.

    Then she called again…talked to my husband…he told her the same thing…even he at times has wanted to beat some sense into my son. But you just don’t go around beating people.

    Poor Ian, he is what he is, and this Momma Bear is not backing down. I love him and all his faults…and I was very proud of him yesterday for going with The Boss. Actually, Ian was requested to come as one of the farm managers.

    Indy Mindy…I still wouldn’t want your job….but sometimes we can’t help being around stupid people, can we?

    GR 😉

  75. Oh, Mindy! What a mess! Do what you have to do, but remember the airline instructions about putting on your own mask before helping others. You’re in my prayers.

    Debbe, bravo to you and your husband for refusing to capitulate to Rachel’s attempt to make Andrew’s choice into your fault. Only Andrew is responsible for his actions, including seeking help when he is nonfunctional. How is Ian? My thoughts and prayers for the best possible outcome here are with you all.

    I read about the discovery, Jerry, of the additional magma chamber under Yellowstone. Thinking about all the PBS programs I’ve seen on volcanic erruption and their impact on the Earth as a whole, it’s pretty unsettling.

  76. Ghost Sweetie, I am quite fond of grilled portobello “burgers”. 🙂

    Mindy and Debbe, sounds like you both could use a hug, so{{{HUGS}}}

  77. Debbe 😉 Re Rachell…can you say “enabler”? You were right, however, not to descend to their level.

    I just read an online article about an egg operation in Iowa that is going to have to euthanize their entire flock of hens because of Avian Influenza…all 3.8 million of them. The logistics are daunting, to say the least, and plans are still in the works. They probably will use carbon dioxide, but then they have to dispose of the carcasses. Both burial and transportation to rendering facilities entail some risks.

    One should probably start now on a plan to finance one’s purchase of a Thanksgiving turkey.

  78. Mindy from Indy, just had a chance to read your long post. Whew! I don’t know about being your own boss, but is sure sounds like you deserve a promotion! And you too, Debbe, dealing with all the chicken biohazard stuff! Hope things improve soon!

  79. Debbe
    Sounds like you will need to set up a clean room – shower And scrub and disposable clothes before entering. Just like a nuclear plant or computer chip manufacture.

    That is why we have Corned Beef at holidays. Been a tradition a number of years now.

    TV Dinners started because there were box car loads of surplus turkeys.

  80. This is long but I think not too difficult. Again, good perspective on the universe we are part of. It is one item at the current Cassini website. The others are more often specifically about Saturn and its rings and moons. I don’t visit it as often as I should. Since Cassini is still orbiting, with an occasional nudge from NASA, around in the Saturn system, there are new items every day or two. And we have progress: the Church admitted sometime in the last few decades that Galileo was right.

    Peace, emb

  81. Good morning Villagers….

    I’m up Jerry, and have been for some time.

    Went to sleep too early last night. Tired and stressed from work and my husband’s idiot family. Damn drunks. Seems Andrew spoke with his dad (the BIL who stayed with us during the winter) and wanted the $500 for punching Ian. BIL said what are you talking about….my husband told me this when he got home at 11:30 last night. I asked him, what the ^%$#!!!! was there a bounty on Ian. Damn drunks.

    Then the issue of this Avian virus…..the teens did put on their white ‘suits’, complete outfit with soled feet and a hood, they had to take a ‘selfie’ of themselves dressed. They are hot, and the boys had to take their shirts off and they tied the arms of the suite around their waists…they were cleaning curtain backs free of manure buildup…nasty, sweaty and hard job.

    The Boss stopped by yesterday too, did not enter building, but did a ‘speech’ from the from the entrance door to the teens regarding the seriousness of this virus…and it’s not to be taken lightly. My one teen has a friend whose family is in the turkey business. The protocol they have to follow is equally as stressed as it is in the poultry business.

    GR 😉 you and I may have read the same article on Sunrise Farms in Iowa….what a tragedy. I personally do not like C02…I’ve watched them die thru the window on the top of the ‘kill’ box. It is not a pretty site to see them gasping for breath. Basically, it suffocates them. I prefer a quick twist to break the neck. It’s instant. But when you have 3.5 million hens, load ’em up, and gas ’em up. I actually tried to break a small, distressed hen’s neck the other day, I felt it give and I just couldn’t continue through with it.

    I found this interesting: on the new strains and such…some over my head.

    Denise….thank you so much for asking how Ian is doing….he is struggling. Tries not to show it, and I know he is in pain. Still doesn’t want to go to the doctor. He had yesterday off, and yes, he’s like me and works 6 days a week to get 40 hours.

    later…..gonna check out some U tube tunes….are you up for it Mark? Wait. I need to go back and check out the tunes you posted the other day…….


    GR 😉


  82. Debbe,
    Why not try out Jimmie Durante’s “You’ve gotta start off each day with a song!” “Even when things go wrong”! It’s really great!

    Prayers and blessings for everyone.

  83. Debbie, There’s always the Monty Python anthem “Always look on the bright side of life”, but you do that already. Hang in there!

  84. Jimmy, I’m going to laugh over today’s real-time strip each time I plant something for the rest of my life! That’s a lot of laughs! (I also talk to bees, worms, slugs, spiders, and insects, as well as birds and beasts.) (Oh, and weeds, too, but I would blush to repeat what I say to them.)

    Thank you for the link, Mark. I look forward to reading their conclusions.

    Are you folks okay, Jerry?

    Debbe, I remember reading about bird viruses in the past, but this one seems to have much more potential for spread and damage to the industry. Is this the most serious incidence of avian virus you can recall? Or have there been worse ones?

  85. Maybe I should set a trap in my back yard to catch a turkey and fatten it up over the summer for Thanksgiving. Then again, it’d probably become a family pet and we’d not be able to kill, cook, and eat it for dinner.

    I see a ham in our future for Thanksgiving dinner.

  86. Denise…see the link I posted on the mutations of strains….I am very much involved in this enhanced bio-security. I leave my work shoes at work, change into my Eastland’s, and dip them in the chlorine dry\foot bath entering and leaving before my shoes touch the concrete floor of the packing room! I told the teens, I don’t care if they have to dip their feet 50 times a day and use the hand sanitizer 50 times a day…you will NOT enter my henhouse. I spray Lysol disinfectant on the packing room floor twice a day…It’s not going to happen here, and I can say that because I monitor the kid’s and fellow employees. They open the door to get in and they cannot help but step in the chlorine foot bath and a spray can of Lysol to saturate their shoes.

    Oh, and this is not transferable to humans…for now.

    I found a bird’s nest under the bubble top of the propane gas tank on Friday. They were very diligent about building that nest….packed with feathers and twigs and 5 small blue eggs…I had to destroy them….I disinfected every thing with Lysol…even the the gas tank.. Put the egg nexs in a bag…sprayed it and brought it home to burn.

  87. Denise, thanks for asking. My mother is going home Wednesday at her insistence. She will have in-home care, at least at first. I say that because she has had it before and stopped it. She doesn’t like strangers in her home. Neither do I, but sometimes it’s necessary. She won’t tell them what she wants done in the home and says they should know. For various reasons I can only be there Wednesday so at least I can take her home and get things started. We won’t be moving into our new home until the end of June, but we love to visit it and the new grass and landscaping are thriving with this rain.

  88. domaucan1…thanks….will pull that up later…I am due for a nap, auger out at #1 and the denester (which drops the flats) is in not doing it’s ‘job today…feeding hens right now is more important…I don’t care how many eggs come in tomorrow. “Skittlels” got po’d and left, after just 32 cases of eggs, compared to the 190 we bring in each day…

    Dang, can hardly wait for Monday morning…………………..

  89. Debbe, keep the vents open, else the hens become broilers. Disregard Loon, she was just jerking around the turkey; too much time around school kids this weekends.

  90. Sandcastler….I have a static control board…I faithfully watch that black arrow in-between the read lines. I have access to physically opening opening windows, and the other side is mechanical. My ideal hen house temp is 75 degrees. Because, lately I’ve been inside the house much more lately, I can smell if the airflow is too low…thus opening widows and turning on fans.

    Gosh, I love my job………………


  91. GR6 will love this tale. I was just permitted entry into the Texas Capital building carrying both my Leatherman PST and a Buck folding knife. The Texas DPS is more enlightened about well dressed gentlemen than the TSA. Both items, along with pocket contents had to be scanned, but could be picked up on the otherside.

  92. Debbe 😉 Yes, hon, that was the article about Sunrise Farms I read also. Serious business…their 3.8 million hens are 10% of those grown in the entire state of Iowa. And I cannot even imagine the possible impact on the economies of many Southern states where chickens raised for major food processors constitutes a vital cash crop. (If you want to know what money smells like, drive through most any part of the rural Deep South in the summer, lower your windows, and take a deep breath. You’ll find it smells remarkably like chicken $#!+.)

    I assume that crop insurance will be in play, with all its attendant benefits and pitfalls. Some years ago, I attended the 3-day course and took (and passed) the state exam for insurance agent. (And yet, I am not, and never have been, an insurance agent. Long story.) The instructor, himself an experienced agent, told us that a problem had previously developed with commercial catfish growers, to wit that if algae began growing in their ponds, giving the catfish flesh a musty flavor and rendering it worthless as a food product, the aerator pumps that kept the oxygen levels in the densely populated ponds high enough to support the catfish would mysteriously fail. All the fish in that pond would then die and an insurance claim would be filed.

    From the Department of Ironic Irony: A few years back, with revenue from pond-raised catfish operations suffering due to import competition, someone came up with the idea of leasing catfish ponds (themselves mostly built on repurposed cotton field land) and repurposing the ponds to grow…you guessed it…algae, as biomass for manufacturing biofuels. I’ve not checked to see if that idea flew or went over like the heavy-metal flatulence Debbe mentioned. (BTW, if anyone starts farting lead, they should see their physician immediately.)

    From the Department of Deliciously Ironic Irony: I recently read an article about methods of life-support in deep space habitats, and one of the ideas was to produce food stocks from…you guessed it…habitat-grown algae.

  93. Yes, sand, as someone said when one of the recent “uninvited guests” at the White House was found to be a Texan “armed” with a pocket knife, “In Texas, a man with a pocket knife is not armed, he is merely *dressed*.” That said, eyebrows would perhaps have been raised if I’d gone through the checkpoint with the four knives I often carry in addition to my Dad’s Schrade “Old Timer” pocket knife and the keychain tool that includes a craft-knife blade. (I love my cargo pants.)

    The TSA, of course, would probably deem the craft-knife blade alone a deadly weapon, notwithstanding that the most dangerous weapon in the world is the human brain. Perhaps they are even now working on a way to make us check our brains at the gate before boarding an aircraft. And perhaps that’s what we already do when we allow unelected bureaucrats to control so many facets of our lives.

  94. I have seen a lot of people griping about the TSA and their methods. Did any of you see the story about the gay TSA agent who was doing body searches on men he found attractive? The agent had worked out a system with his female coworkers who ran the scanning machine. When he saw someone he wanted to “check out”, he signaled the scanner operator. She then adjusted the machine so it gave an anomalous reading, giving him a reason to do the body search. This had gone on for a couple of years before one of the higher-ups caught them at it.

  95. Someone told me of a TSA agent that was at least a hundred pounds overweight and using a cane she recently saw at an airport security checkpoint. She commented that if an emergency should arise, his best and most appropriate use would be as a ballistic shield.

    Not to denigrate anyone with weight or physically-challenged issues, but this person is manning a checkpoint at which quick and decisive action might be required at any moment. Really?

    Perhaps a more accurate name for that Federal governmental agency would be the Transportation Job Corps Administration.

  96. Ghost, remember that FDR was paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair, but was elected President multiple times. That is also a job where quick and decisive action might be required, just not necessarily physical action.

    The flip side of everyone’s gripes about the TSA: who, how and why screened, must be put down to the bureaucrats who decided that putting all airport security under their oversight would result in a better security. While the agents are made to follow directives which make no law enforcement or terror-preventive sense in the name of political correctness.

  97. Guilty. I meant “quick and decisive” physical action, of course. I wouldn’t presume to forecast that persons ability to take quick and decisive cognitive-based action, as I do not know him personally. But that job environment could easily require both types of action, and simultaneously.

  98. Having recently looked over a large selection of ballpoint pens/knives, I was wandering if anyone has had their pocket pens or pens in a briefcase checked. Of course a normal pen or pencil can easily be a lethal weapon.

  99. I almost hesitate to read the latest from Debbe and Mindy. I’ve had really bad work stuff but all decades in the past and nothing like their stuff. It was over 25 years ago when a whack job female (whose gun in her purse was spotted by another woman in the restroom) accused me and another guy of wanting to kill her, told a black guy he didn’t like her because she was black and we had many other fun times for months. It was obvious the large Japan electronics firm cared less about our dead bodies than a discrimination lawsuit and it had to get just short of all of us simply refusing to come to work before they got rid of her. Today I almost feel guilty getting paid for about an hour of work a day, but my current employer is happy for me to become action paperwork man when Baker, Halliburton or Schlumberger ever place another order

  100. ^°^°^°^°^amazed at what does not get checked. Then the airlines put great weapons making material in the seat pocket located in front of each passenger.

  101. I rarely fly, but I WAS told at the gate that I couldn’t bring my knitting needles into Joe Louis Arena during a college hockey tournement.

  102. A rolled-up magazine can make a field-expedient defensive weapon (increases your reach to ward off an attacker and/or to poke attacker in nose). Who knew?

    Although not about weapons or noses, Hognose on writes of a personal encounter with a subject which has been touched upon here…the current state of literacy among teens and young adults. (Opinions are his and not necessarily the same as mine, but the facts are thought-provoking.)

  103. Debbe here is a good place to vent, people actually care. I would not want your current stress for anything, you seem to handle it well. I can and will pray for you though.

  104. Via the last report I heard, two are dead and five missing after a severe thunderstorm crossed Mobile Bay about 4 PM Saturday, capsizing several sailboats. Some of them were part of a Dauphin Island regatta, and others were not.

    I keep thinking that Jackie might have been in the middle of that if she had her sail boats yet. Which she may by now.

  105. I shudder to think how many here have just read sand’s comment without having first read Hognose’s post on the link I posted above. 🙂

  106. Reminds me of one of Jimmy’s older cartoons, in which Janis has asked Arlo to pick up hot dogs at the store. As he walks out the door, she tells him to be sure to buy the beef ones. “Pig lips, cow lips; what’s the difference?” he asks himself.

    Come to think of it, Arlo may have overlooked one of the ingredients.

  107. David, spell-check is capable of living up a cream without a puddle, while never giving you a flue of beheading. The previous sentence passed spell-check.

  108. Hi Ghost et al, Jackie gets her first sailboat in July and will spend a month in Port Townsend, WA with friends before probably getting second one. I’ll be going on for a couple weeks in the Great Lakes and cruise Mackinac Straits and North Channel in my micro-cruiser, then south and down to Oklahoma for a couple weeks. I have a new column coming out after first of May. Lots of new exciting things in my life, all good.

    Going in a few weeks up to Desolation Sound north of B.C. and cruise for a couple weeks in May, look at waterfalls and hike, swim. Plan is to later take the Dana 24 up to Alaska via the inland passages but lots more interesting life before then, that’s a later trip.

    Yes, I am following this tragedy since early this morning. I am not going to sail the Florida 120 this year because no boats, so I went for Desolation Sound instead. Good trade. Will still be getting Bottoms Up as well but my friend’s behind schedule with her. So that’s three new boats in addition to the fleet in storage here or still unfinished. Not bad for a senior citizen!

    New life and new eating going phenomenally well. Got hired for new job as a national sales rep but not announcing that one yet until July probably. In addition to signing on to help with the Scamp classes and sailing academy. Not ready to retire yet.Next column is about self rescue and preparation, all applicable to life and sailing and avoiding tragedy.

    Will try and report once a month or so at most. y’all need some happiness.

    Love, Jackie Monies

  109. ghost, I had not heard about that, but I will check the Mobile tv news tonight. Debbe, I feel your pain and gotta vent too so here goes. I previously talked about my step granddaughter and her drug and legal problems. Nothing has changed except she now has a romantic relationship with one of her drug buddies. I told my wife that I didn’t want her in my home for the forseeable future, for obvious reasons. I didn’t really make it clear before, but her best friend is pending trial for killing her father. This is the kind of people that I’m talking about. I hoped that my wife’s daughter would at least understand our feelings without having to spell it out, but she was here earlier and demanded to know whether we would let her daughter in if she showed up. We had to tell her no and tried to explain why. She wouldn’t listen and said that she was done with us and walked out. Are we supposed to think that she may show up because she misses us and really wants to see us? Really? REALLY?

  110. Thanx for that link, Mark. I’ve passed it on to a friend of mine who’s very, very skeptical about AGW and enough understanding of statistics (He has a Master’s in Statistical Inference.) to understand what’s going on. If it comes up on his blog, I’ll post a link here.

  111. “MDNR eagle cam: older nestling w/b flying soon, now at hop and lift stage. emb

    “Boise Ed on 26 Apr 2015 at 5:58 pm # . emb: It appears that there are two birds sitting side-by-side.”

    I presume it was the older of the two that have been in that nest since I first visited it over a month back. It is the larger, probably close to if not heavier than an adult male. Typically, flying young weigh more than adults. I expect the practice hop-lift routine is tiring, so they rest a lot.

    Peace, emb

  112. Oh goody, goody! Jackie has written in to tell us her latest news! It sounds terrific. So glad to know you are feeling good, Jackie, have lots of plans and projects; eating well and getting healthy. I bet you are having a really good time! Let us know what’s happening whenever you have time. Sending love … Charlotte

  113. Thank you to everyone for your positive thoughts and well-wishes. I knew two managers ago at least one employee was a thief. Neither knew enough about the job to catch him. I did. One more problem solved.

    Hope everyone has had a good weekend. Finally stopped raining and warmed up a bit here.

    Debbe – Still could not do your job. Kudos to you.

  114. Good for you, Mindy!

    When I was working in finance/accounting, I caught three incidents of malfeance. One was personally difficult for I considered the person as a friend. But… One cannot condone dishonesty. After thorough research, I could document almost $100,000. Very sad…

  115. GR, I was listening to a radio report on the avian flu and the ag reporter mentioned that insurance doesn’t cover foreign illnesses.

  116. Jackie, glad to hear from you. Have a great time, and congratulations on your new career, independent sailswoman!

    Ghost, we also had a drowning of a kayaker and death of one of the rescue workers trying to find him. The kayakers were in a creek swollen with recent heavy rains near an old industrial dam when the kayak tipped and this one person was swept away. While attempting to locate him, the rescue boats went over this “low head dam” and one woman was stripped of her life vest by the current. She died later of her injuries. This happened in Gadsden, AL about 75 miles northeast of where I am.

    The video showing the conditions explains how dangerous this area was.

  117. Oh, and about the billboard, it’s also possible somebody decided to digitally alter the sign before putting it online. Very easy to turn Angus into the other.

  118. If you can find an old, oversized paperback of National Lampoon’s True Facts, it has tons of funny signs, newspaper headlines and photo captions. Will keep you laughing for weeks if you can resist going through it one prolonged reading session.

  119. Good morning Villagers…..

    Ursen and John….thanks for the kindness and prayers…one can always use both.

    Jerry, stand your ground, and don’t back down. My husband called The Boss while I was napping yesterday afternoon….my husband told him that if he hired Andrew back, that not only was I quitting, but Ian would be also quitting. I know Andrew will not be back. Too proud.
    I worry about little Kyler though.

    Marlene and I are in for a doozy of a day. And we have monthly inspection coming up this week. My hen house is a disaster…..needs blown out, weeds are a scourge to this one inspector and in the past month with all this rain, they’ve gotten out of control. The Boss followed the inspector’s recommendation on this specific weed killer…$550 for 2 1/2 gallons!!! Hopefully we can spray and blow today. Poor Ian has his work cut out for him. I pray The Boss gives him a raise now. I feel it would increase his productivity and outlook.

    Ya’ll have a blessed day….

    Good to Jackie’s update 🙂

  120. Nice to hear from you, Jackie! It’s wonderful that you’re feeling well and that everything is possible.

    Jerry, I think Debbe is right about not backing down. Everyone involved is an adult and responsible for their own actions. Your daughter and granddaughter are putting their own needs first; you and your wife must do the same. When we are physically or emotionally threatened by someone, whether that person is stranger or friend or family is immaterial. You are right in protecting yourselves. If you are so inclined, a good book on the topic of dealing with manipulative people is Manuel Smith’s “When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.”

    Debbe, is weed killer important because you need a sterile perimeter around the hen houses to limit disease transmission and rodents?

  121. I really feel for everyone’s “junk” they’re going through. I can sympathize and empathize. I’m fortunate that so much is behind me but it reminds me of so much. I was stuck with a stepfather during my teen years, who wasn’t a nice or normal guy and it left me with a permanent underlying animosity to my mother until she died. and almost 40 years ago a lie detector test got fired from Whataburger for stealing money that I didn’t steal, even after they gave me a second test, because the manager knew I didn’t do it, although the guy who did clean out the register and safe (three times) passed his lie detector.

  122. Jerry: You and I must have been posting at the same time yesterday, and I missed your note about the step-granddaughter problems. I agree with the others… you have to stand firm. It must be difficult. Prayers…

  123. For the record, I will take my health problems any day compared to the family and relationships many of you are burdened with. I consider myself fortunate that, though I don’t “at least have health”, I do have family “and friends” that are a blessing. My best thoughts and prayers go with you all.

  124. David, there is an apocryphal quote attributed to Winston Churchill: he responds to someone objecting to his ending a sentence with a preposition with “This is the kind of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put!”

    If he didn’t say, he should have. 😉

  125. Why did I put that piece of caramel in my mouth? I had a cap put on a tooth years ago and haven’t had a caramel or taffy or Tootsie Roll or Milk Duds since. Now I have a cap in my hand and a dental appointment the day after tomorrow. 🙁

  126. Two more things. My step-daughter showed me a picture of her new boyfriend yesterday. Scraggly beard, poorly dressed. He does top secret stuff for the government. He can’t tell her when he leaves town, where he’s going, how long he will be there or what he is doing. My comment-I’ve seen this movie. Second-I know I’m preaching to the choir, but this is April. Please stay off the water.

  127. Ooooo, Jerry! I did not think of that! Yes, I’m pretty happy it’s not somewhere in my gastrointestinal tract right now. And “top secret stuff for the government”? Even I know that’s a line, and I’m trusting and naive.

  128. The first crown I ever had suddenly went “missing”.

    “A very expensive snack,” one of the dental assistants called it.

    But it’s true…all the guys that do “top secret stuff for the government” tell their girlfriends that they do top secret stuff for the government. That’s the first thing they teach them in Top Secret Government Stuff School.

  129. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

    I’ve learned…. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and
    a heart to understand. AR

  130. Good morning Villagers….

    Denise, Jerry is right, at least it’s in your hand 🙂 To answer your question, it is to prevent weeds becoming a harborage (like that $50 word) for rodents. We have bait monitors surrounding the hen house with mice death bait. Then inside, we have 12 mouse traps with feed in them. They get checked twice a week. The protocol for ‘euthanizing’ a mouse is drowning….we’re supposed to submerge the trap in water to ‘kill’ it. Me, I grab the tail (with gloves on) and just do a quick head to concrete contact and throw it in the pit. They can be carriers of anything, especially this Avian virus.

    As a matter of fact, we got wrote up for having cardboard boxes for storing things like knee pads and cage parts…..had to get those big plastic storage bins…..

    GR 😉 love your Top Secret Government Stuff School…..what a line to use on a woman 🙂

    Jerry, is your step-daughter that naive? Wait, she’s doing drugs too, right? Seems her synapses aren’t firing.

    Evan…had to look up some of them there words 🙂

    Gal…thanks for the link, saved it. There are some other links on that page I want to read. The second photo is a look a like for my Goldee. Goldee is a very petite cat, she’s my forever kitteh.

    Miss Charlotte?

    Ian is coming back to my hen house and Marleen is going back to hen house #1…I’m going to miss her. A couple of Saturdays ago, she turned 69 and has worked for this family owned business for twenty some years. The Corp supplies the hens and feed. We provide the housing and labor and maintenance and so on and so on. I plan on working there till I drop dead.

    Well, ya’ll have a blessed day…..

  131. David, who cares about your dangling participles 🙂 thanks for your positive thoughts and prayers for all of here.


    Got lunches fixed, eating breakfast which consist of a banana, P&J sandwich and one multivitamin for women….yum. I make Ian take one every morning too. He says he’s going to get his own for men as he doesn’t want to start growing ‘boobs’ 🙂

  132. I had to chuckle, Debbe, about Ian and the vitamin! That’s an area where my doctor and I have agreed to disagree. I take a multivitamin every day, too, and he believes that only specific vitamins in cases of proven deficiencies need to be taken. He says that my way just produces expensive pee.

    After reading today’s real-time A&J, all I could think was, “Thank goodness! After all the big box ads showing clean, smiling people partying in the garden after a full day working hard outside, Jimmy shows it like it is!”

  133. Ghost I lost a crown one time. This too shall pass. Never did find it though. I had them x-ray me to see if it was stuck somewhere and they wound up finding an “undefined mass” I went through a month of tests, worried that I had some kind of cancer. Also hopeful because I thought maybe the undigested crown might have a revealed a potentially deadly mass.

    About a month later I got the all clear. However I did have a new appreciation of the importance of good health. BTW, my MIL worked at a dental office for years and told had they found it, they could have easily sterilized it and used it again. If you ever had a crown come off, no amount of mouthwash can get rid of the bad breath that you experience, so I guess I could live with it passing through my digestive system.

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