Dirty Santa

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
The next big thing around here will be the redesign of this Web site. I know. I’ve been talking about that for years, but you didn’t think I’d ever get around to the T shirts, either, did you? Actually, some work already has begun on a new site, but it’s very preliminary at this point. I don’t know how it will look or even what it will contain exactly, but we’ll keep doing what we do now. There’ll simply be more. Anyway, it’s something for the new year.

124 thoughts on “Dirty Santa”

  1. If Janis was thinking ahead, she’d have some plates of Christmas cookies ready to go. Maybe some fudge, especially since she is fudging on her honesty by re-gifting.

  2. Jimmy, I seem to recall there being talk about Web site redesign around this time last year. I also seem to recall reaction ranging from trepidation to resignation. What I don’t recall was very much enthusiasm about “things changing”, except for perhaps an edit function; a “like” button (whatever the heck that is and whatever the heck purpose it would serve); and sandcastler™’s little animated critters.

    In short, I don’t think there will be too much angst amongst the Villagers if you take another year or three to make any “changes”. But hey, you’re the Mayor, and you have ultimate authority over both the Planning Department and Public Works.

  3. You’re welcome, John. I’m a big Pink Floyd fan and got a good laugh the first time I saw that shirt. One of the men in my Sunday School class got it for the teacher, who was a big music fan himself.

  4. Good morning all. I expressed great satisfaction with my tee shirts arrival yesterday. Love the print Ludwig but the design itself is more dramatic on the red.

    Jimmy, the shipping department wasted money by shipping each in it’s own envelope, you could have shoved them all together in one. Why eBay and PayPal made me purchase them individually is unfathomable. There’s that nautical term.

    We had a handful of multiple orders that came through as several individual orders. I assumed the purchasers did it that way for their own reasons or through error. You say you had to purchase them that way? Most of the multiple shirt orders went through normally and shipped in one container. I don’t know what the issue is, but I’ll see if I can find out. Thanks for the concern! I’m always happy to hear suggestions. — JJ

  5. Have a hot Date with a good looking tall young man, very young, who only wants my money. Unfortunately he is my Lowe’s salesman but he’d be a good choice if I wanted to raise someone.

    I have a date with my Lowe’s man this afternoon, but he has a pot belly and a gray walrus moustache. — JJ

  6. Mark, I didn’t order the Floyd shirt, but I did get a good laugh out of it, so thanks! 🙂

    My Luddie shirt is most likely in the mailbox at the foot of the Mountain, so I’ll pick it up when I go out later. Believe me when I say a casual stroll to the mailbox is not a thing done here.

  7. Ghost, who is this Lucy that you write with? For years I had a Christmas morning tradition of exchanging gifts under the tree. Then kids came along and the tradition had to end.

  8. About the new web design, JJ. It is new challenges that keep us going. I know it will be good when you get done, so take your time. Right now, just enjoy the holidays.

  9. JJ, You can certainly make edit any changes to this site that button you want to and edit I certainly wouldn’t try to button tell you how edit to run your business button.

    Mmm, I’m a little dense. You’ll have to hint louder. — JJ

  10. All: ‘flat-chested-lard-arsed’ women need love, too. Perhaps especially since that seems to be an unusual combination.

    Have you all seen pictures of George Eliot [pen name of the woman who wrote Silas Marner, which I read in JHS]? Face that would stop a truck, but apparently she was the beloved of her male significant other. I’ve known several hetero couples where one, the other, or both were quite physically unattractive by society’s standards, but where each realized the inner beauty of the other. Even know a few same-sex couples where this would apply.

    There’s a line about such a person in the Hebrew Bible, which some have interpreted as being about someone not in the Hebrew Bible. Unfortunately, the photo IDs have been lost. It’s in ‘Messiah’, by Geo. Friedrich Handel. Maybe I’ll do a search.

    Peace, emb

  11. Close. The verses quoted in ‘Messiah’ start with Isaiah 53.3. Verse 2 [NKJV], the previous verse, describes this unnamed person thus:

    ‘He has no form or comeliness; and when we see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him.’

    Capital H in ‘Him’ added by the original KJV translators who regarded these verses as referring to a future Messiah, despite their having grown up among portraits where ‘He’ was not at all homely.

    Peace, emb

  12. A “Luddie short nightie”. See, Jackie, that’s what I meant when I said I needed one in a smaller size in case of an unexpected sleep-over guest. Don’t let the Lowe’s hunk take you for all your money. 🙂

    Hi, Marje. New in town? 😉 (Or did I already ask that?)

  13. My sports car t-shirt showed up in my mailbox today, too. Merry Christmas to me! Quality of the color applications is excellent. Nice job Jimbo! Are you enjoying the thought of members of the tribe excitedly tearing open their packages throughout the land?

  14. The Lowe’s hunk doesn’t get to sell me the ten sets of seven foot double French doors for my spa conversion yet. He’s holding out for that. I’ll save some for our coastal cruise. I don’t do cruise ships. Did you keep your pilot’s license?

    Tee shirt silk screening is superb. Question Jimmy, have you thought of using same screens to print an autographed limited edition numbered frame able piece of non wearable art?

    Bet I’m not only one here that’d buy one.

  15. Yes. In October but I will be coming to Florida in March and April and May for various sailings unless I have the knee surgery somewhere in there. I can give you my tentative boating schedule but a lot depends on this one, surgery.

    By October I intend to be down to my size and weight I was in 1977. There’s a reason behind that choice.

    The French door porn is to put a wall of French doors facing into my yard that can open outward to natural air or be closed for heat, air conditioning and mosquito control. I am turning my old garage, carport into a spa.

  16. Just got my mail and it seems that Santa made it across the US today. A word for those not sure about your size. I am 5’`10″, weight 185 and waist size 34″ slightly too small and 36″ slightly too big. The large is a perfect fit. but if I were bigger I would want an XL. The quality of the shirt is excellent.

  17. If anyone is holding back on a tee shirt purchase due to the pricing, just look at the unsolicited testimonials already received (and remember they are just now being delivered). And reflect on the times you might have gone to a resort area and dropped $15 to $25 on some cheap, crappy and/or vulgar tee shirt advertising some bar or seafood joint no one ever heard of and is probably already out of business. 🙂

  18. Just got my T today ! Wonderful wonderful wonderful ! And it was 66 degrees here today so I can wear it tomorrow !

    Never mind a resort tee – how much would I have spent on a crappy Cleveland Browns shirt ? Hah ! (“Crappy” modifying “Cleveland Browns” in this case, not “shirt”)

  19. Completely off topic, but I must relay yesterday’s wild turn of events.

    I got an email from my boss Wednesday night about using my vaction time (2 weeks). My dumb luck, I had stopped by the store, saw and responded to it (Wasn’t planning in it, everyone is too short-staffed. I lose vaction time every year.) Off on Thursday, and come back Friday morning to discover I was going on vacation starting Sunday. My boss told EVERYONE but me. And MY boss took a vacation day on Friday, so here I was, told I was to be off in two days, with no clue who was covering for me. She is trying to wedge everyone’s vaction into three weeks, during the holidays AND a training week. So, I finally get a response from my boss, and immediately go I to scramble mode. I now have to figure out three weeks worth of scheduling – coordinating with three other stores; get keys and instructions to two people who have never even set foot in my store so they can run the joint for almost two weeks!; figure out where and how one of my employees got shorted 11.73 hours of pay; put together the written “strike two” reprimand for my useless third shift girl,

    AND

    The main guy who will be covering came over for a quick and dirty overview and to help with scheduling. We are just making decent headway when my clerk starts yelling for me. Someone has just handed her four counterfeit $20 bills mixed in with real money for a transaction. Ack! We call the local leos, wait a half hour, and then the REAL fun began. The lady claimed she was innocent, but very quickly became argumentative and secretive when the officer tried to work out a time line of events. (Who forgets where they broke a $100 bill?) She apparently slammed the officer’s *cheesed off button* real hard, because suddenly there was another cruiser, more officers, and the most epic recitation of the Miranda rights I have ever heard. (And the first time I’ve ever heard them read in person.) Ultimately, they let her go – after getting all her vitals – but holy cow, for a minute there I was looking for the COPS camera crew. And now, more paperwork. Finally got everything as done as I can tonight.

    However, I am fully anticipating my boss’s call, telling me the whole, wobbling house of cards came crashing down around her, and she needs me to come in. Stay tuned. 🙂

  20. Both shirts arrived in this morning’s post, and they were in same shipping package.

    However, I can’t wear them until Christmas because my wife promptly confiscated them for boxing, wrapping, and placing under our tree.

  21. Got home from the big D tonight. Found our package from Iuka. It will nestle beneath the tree until Xmas eve.

    Coming year website changes:
    1) an edit comment option,
    2) emoji support

  22. Got back from Lowe’s with some of my money. You know you are special when their best salesman walks you around and finds what you need. I got shutters to fake windows on the dog house, artificial poly something lumber looks like shelving that is stronger than wood and special screws to attach my metal stars and compass roses on fencing like Mark suggested, around $400 of new high intensity LED automatic motion lights for yard and some exercise mat padded carpeting that clicks together for dogs in case they want to work out in their dog house.

    Dog house has 10 foot ceilings, a fan in ceiling, lights, gas and electric heat and beds that look like cots off floor with their mattresses on top of that. The shelves are for them. We recycled the metal kitchen door which has mullein windows. Pit new door on kichen. Lined with that industrial stuff they use in beer coolers and insulated, walls cinder block covered in board and batten.

    They have to go pee in yard but we could have put running water, this used to be my pump house a long time ago and water is next to it.

    I am expecting to feel better soon and get stuff done like gardening and yard work. Good exercise

  23. Dear Jackie, your energy and imagination seem to have no limits, and are awesome! You have plenty of help with all this, we assume. The Villagers are cheering you on. Better get some sleep now — that’s what I’m going to do.

  24. Jimmy does your wife know about your relationship with the walrus mustached Lowes employee or is just into “Don’t ask Don’t Tell”?

    emb:

    Here is a coincidence. George Eliot is the pen name for Mary Ann Evans. My wife had a signing today at a bookstore and uses her real name: Marianne Evans.

  25. Need an edit button. The Marianne had a face that could stop a Locomotive. Literally. I am a proud Purdue Boilermaker and 34 years ago last December 5th. I turned off a Purdue basketball game to attend a Christmas party. She stopped me dead in my tracks. We were married the following July.

  26. Jackie, with all that in the dog house, you are going to make them go out to pee instead of giving them an indoor toilet? Shame, shame. Wonder if the cats will take over?

    Steve, congratulations to your wife on a new book. I haven’t read any of them, but always glad to see new work come along when the author is good. Just finished reading Sword of the South by David Weber. It’s a high fantasy novel, with about 5 preceding it in the series. I think it tops the previous books in twists and turns, and descriptive writing.

  27. Jackie, your dogs’ house sounds very much like my barracks room in basic training. Except without the ceiling fan.

    I waiting for a 25,000 lumen security light that not only illuminates intruders but melts them if they don’t run away fast enough.

  28. Well, I decided the first dog house was really too fancy, it has a porch and real windows plus the other stuff including a/c so it got designated something else. The pump house was sitting next to it so we gutted it and remodeled.

    It has a dog door through wall and an opening front door with window. We hope cats will go through dog door and sleep with dogs. That is vague hope. Right now I’d have to count noses but I think most of them went outside. They think the sheer drapes on my canopy bed that look like mosquito bars are the most fun thing ever offered. A cat gets on one side and another on other side.

    You can imagine how this ends.

  29. Yes, Mark, just like in that scene from back in the days when the British had armed Air Raid Wardens.

    “You can imagine how this ends.” Not well?

    Question of the Day: Will my artificial plants die if I forget to pretend to water them?

  30. I have been dutifully hanging ornaments, using exact same methodology I used in creating showroom theme trees to get people to buy the ornaments and take them back to their retail stores to sell them to you, the retail Christmas trim buyer. Old habits don’t die so hopefully I won’t either.

    It is interesting, stores like Hobby Lobby, Walmart, Garden Ridge, Michaels, John Ann’s (who are the mass market box stores) have no trees decorated in themes, leaving the customer to flounder on their own.

    Where did the big Christmas stores and nurseries go that used to set up dozens of theme trees and everyone would go to tour them and try to duplicate their looks? Those were my customers.

    Does anyone here have stores like that still in their area?

  31. Good morning Villagers….

    Indy Mindy…..your yesterday was almost as bad as mine. Went to hen house to help clean. Worked with Skittles, Cowboy wannnabe, and a couple of other teens…..all hung over from the night before. Cowboy wannabe, even did a semi strip dance for me coming down the aisle….I just looked at him and said to put that energy into wire brush and start scraping. I was not in the mood…..

    Then, a ice chest showed up full of Seagrams flavored drinks…..then the Boss shows up….lucky for Andrew the blower was running and all he could do was see the Boss’s lips move…..

    So today I am staying away, going to the hen house and pack eggs…..but then I’ll end up back there….so much to get ready, and Andrew is at his wit’s end.

    Jackie, my friend and her husband own a Ben Franklin in Jasper….they have all kinds of decorated theme trees…I was in there Friday….so much stuff there I could buy. She asked how I was doing, and that was all it took…..she had to hand me a kleenex.

    Gotta go…..

    Have a blessed Lord’s day..

    Oh, I really like today’s real time strip…..

  32. Just out of curiosity –

    The packing slip has a cursive “Thanks” written on it, and either an exclamation mark or a stylized “J” appears with it.

    Anyone else have that on the slip?

  33. Enjoyed today’s Sunday strip. Reminded me of our kitty “Tiger” back when I was so proud to think I had trained him to stay off the table and the kitchen counters. One day after we piled out of the house on our way to school and work we were not even a block away from home when my youngest yelled she forgot to bring her project. We whipped around and back into the house – and there I saw our cat standing in the middle of the table – wide eyes and tail puffed in his surprise. Busted!!

  34. Mindy & Debbe – my sympathies to you. Why do petty annoyances always seem so much worse at this time of year? I’m sending good wishes your way.

  35. I got my Luddie shirt yesterday! My sister and I went out for a bit and I picked the mail up, and as I expected, it was in the box. Yes, I wore it for a bit, and it is very comfortable, and Luddie is beautiful.

    Rick and Sam, yes, there is a handwritten Thanks on the packing slip, and I did wonder who wrote it. It is a nice touch, though, and one I appreciate. I order spices from the Spice House in Chicago, and on every packing slip the person who packs the order writes “Thanks! Enjoy your spices!” and their name. It is a nice, personal touch.

    Debbe and Mindy, I do hope your week gets better!

  36. Trapper we used to sign our arrangements at my flower shop too on a card that had the shop’s phone number, address and an unconditional guarantee, not 24 hours. It is remarkable the effect that has on both employees and customers.

    I told the employees it was so the recipient could thank them or ask for them. That is what usually happened too unless the black thumbs killed their poinsettas by putting on television or outside to freeze. Yes, Texas can freeze.

    Just has first cat-tastope when Ashes jumped for his usual surface and landed in a box of stars. Plastic, I picked them up off floor. Plastics are must better now both in appearance and quality.

    Someone ? Chewed a foam cupcake, cat, dog or the resident ghost? Haven’t seen or heard from him in past year but he gets annoyed at the artificial candy and cookies theme trees and always has.

  37. Since I bought four tees and PayPal or eBay made me pay for each individually I got four thank yous each handwritten by same person. Yes, I compared, each individual, each same.

    Thank you Jimmy. When you survive these I have some boating companies interested in tee shirts if Arlo and Janis are in a boat.
    Seriously, not a joke.

  38. Regarding today’s (Sunday) strip, I thought we were given to understand that Ludwig’s springs no longer could power that sort of jump:

    http://www.gocomics.com/arloandjanis/2015/01/22

    My experience with olden kitties is that under the proper motivation, (ie, German Shepherd in pursuit), they could summon up the Days Of Yore and perform amazing feats. Had there been Something Delicious on the table, I could see it, but I am dubious that mere Nocturnal Frolicking could do it. Of course, cats ARE inscrutable, so…

  39. When did ornament hooks become 1) too short to hold or hook 2) too flimsy and long to actually holding an ornament 3) why do they sell them?

    Next year back to old method of making my own hooks with florist wire. And we hot glued all the ornaments finials on too.

  40. Yes, Mark, the cats are entertaining themselves batting ornaments across the tile floors. And Mindy, I have six orange cats who go in and out like revolving doors to see if there is food outside too. Four are from one litter, the other two are miscellaneous.

    Tile floors mare a good hockey field for cat hockey.

  41. Jackie
    In the Chicago area we have a group of American Sale stores that display many themed trees. This time of the year you can’t get near the place.

  42. Anony, we acquired a quantity of heavy duty, silver plated?, ornament hooks. They have served us well, as I remember they were pricey at the time. You might do a Google search to see what turns up.

  43. Jackie, I think the hook problem stems from the fact that they are mostly Chinese made today. And they don’t have the cultural background to understand how durable they really should be. The American buyers should be doing a better job on quality control when they accept the product. Old hooks were made to keep heavy items on real, non-uniform branches. New style intended for plastic on twisted wire branches. Very thin wire that you can bend easily with your fingers. I think your home-made florist wire version sound much better.

  44. Started to order them and “Product is currently not available. ”

    I have broken more ornaments already than cats probably will. I suppose I missed the loss of good ornament hooks! Back to florist wire home made ones, any gauge you want.

    When my brain returns to full cylinder function I hope to help Simone put my belongings in order and reclaim things like a design center, gift wrap area, hobby areas, garden centers. I almost said I somewhat resemble Martha Stewart with a profane mouth until I remembered a verbatim interview when she first got going in 1982, recorded and printed.

    No, I’m a whole lot nicer and kinder and she can out curse me. I know people who have worked with her.

  45. Indy, Trap, & Anon:

    Think there’s any chance that the signer was Jimmy?

    After all, he wrote that he was there, helping with some of the work.

    I like to save such things. Just in case Jimmy did sign it, I will place the slip with my copy of Beaucoup.

  46. I’m not a lip-reader, although I do know what it means when a woman looks at me and licks her lips. (It means she has dry lips, right?) But I was watching the Dallas Cowboys coach on the sidelines a while ago, and I think I learned a couple of new words. Even if they would have been old hat for Jackie and Martha Stewart. 🙂

    Rick, does the “J” on the slip match the “J” where Jimmy signed the book?

  47. As one who began reading inappropriately right after I was weaned (mama let me read comic books before I was three apparently ) I have always abhorred censure and banning of books, writing, movies, whatever. That should surprise no one.

    However, given the cesspool of today’s television programs and some music, kids are going to have heard and seen it all without the necessity of learning to read and form their own opinions. It’s like fast food, just swallow the garbage.

    My soap box, I read through the school library before I got out of second grade. I moved on to the adult library, located at the oil camp club, so no one knew what I read. Yeah, I read Mickey Spillane and knew about sex by nine years, but I also read Sinclair Lewis, Robert Benchley, Dorothy Parker, every play script that made it to Broadway . Anything that made it to that lending library I read. I wanted to move to New York and go to the Algonquin Hotel, an ambition I crossed off at age 13 on a solo trip to New York.

    Rant over, indiscriminate reading makes you decide, not someone else deciding for you.

    Berkley Bredthed has hit the super sensitive magnum offended good this year.

  48. Lost what I had written as I read – have ti remember – bummer.

    We /they are teaching to the lowest common denominator.
    The N-word is not limited to white people.

    The National Geographic used the “P” word in the 30’s describing young
    children.

    Jerry was going to ask if people were satisfied with sizes.
    So a person your size with chest accouterments should go for the XL?

    Just go back to Vertically Challenged to see if Luddie can do it or not.

    GR6 Get your friend Chicken Poop lip balm as I told Debbe the other day –
    keeps you from licking your lips so they don’t get chapped.

    Mindy
    Company I work for allowed me to take vacation in Jan during slow time.
    But if not done then – lost.

  49. Jimmyjohnson@arloandjanis.com is a pretty nice guy and company is extremely service driven.

    By the water Jimmy, one of my friends who reads the Other Cat (if Bill can be considered a cat) alerted me to the latest mode of preventing starving cartoonists. You pick your favorite Bloom County 2015 strip, pay and Berkley Bredthed autographs it to you and draws an original Bloom County character on the strip in pencil.

    For a little more than small change. Although I must say the Two Spaces for America campaign slogan is pretty fumny.

  50. Jackie, I too was taught to read partly through comic books very early. My lifetime favorites have been the Duck stories written and drawn by Carl Barks. Here is one of my favorites, which I read in an early 1960’s reprint, although the original publishing date is in the late 1940’s. Who would have thought of Donald Duck comics handling the idea of poverty and trying to help those who were trapped in it?

    Just scroll down as you go and click on each page to enlarge, just like the current A&J.

    http://www.michaelspornanimation.com/splog/?p=3248

  51. ‘We as a country are being dictated by the minority and most cases a very small minority.’

    We might not all agree on which minority. Really, probably several didtate, but we may also not agree on which diktat is most important. I understand polls show most Americans want more gun control, but that seems not to have happened.

    Most may also tire of PC, self among them. Also, it gets pretty ghastly when ‘Fashion’ dictates short skirts and all women wear them. Madison Ave. is a pretty small minority but seems to dictate much of what people do, and much of what info they see or hear.

    The 1% or 2% [a ‘very small minority’] probably dictate more than most people realize. The press, which is not as liberal as some pretend [and largely owned by the 2%], acts as though the second most popular contestant for the Democratic nomination does not exist. Various non-govt. outfits, some of them loudly if superficially religious, wield more influence than their numbers justify, and that the Constitution allows. Among other things, money talks.

    Peace, emb

  52. These would be some I read too but in 1940s. Boy do I regret burning them in 1950s.

    Obviously I never outgrew comics but I remember Little Abner, Pogo, Superman, DickTracy in comic books. Am I wrong?

  53. Nope, Jackie. Although the Little Abner and classic Dick Tracy would not be acceptable to the politically correct society of today. Superman still appears in comics, the others were (I think) reprints of the comic strips in some cases, and new stories in others. Last attempt at reprinting the classic Dick Tracy was by Bruce Hamilton about the time the Warren Beatty movie came out. Only lasted a few issues. Prior to that a company called Blackthorne Comics printed a long series of softcover reprints and then comic book reprints of Tracy. Most were black and white, like the original strips, and were the cleanest and clearest copies available. Currently there is/are publishers doing complete hardcover reprints of both Little Abner and Dick Tracy.

  54. That is exactly what I remember, how politically incorrect all those comics were. I mean I knew it back then that they were pushing it. To be honest, politically correct is about as non-funny as you can get.

  55. I happen to be a minority of one – but I don’t get to do any dictating – not even in my
    own castle. That includes the scrieving type of dictating.

  56. Good morning Villagers…

    And it’s a wet Monday at that….everywhere, looking at the National Weather Service map. Temps will be falling all day, not an ideal cleaning a hen house weather.

    Judy, thanks for the well wishes…we need them

    Gotta go, clean packing room at my hen house, a semi inspection sometime today. Then over to the other hen house to pack eggs….no rest for the wicked.

    I’m so glad you all got your T Shirts and the special touch JJ added makes it more special.

    Ya’ll a have a blessed Monday

  57. Old Bear, if that was a tee question to me the answer is yes, an xl would be appropriate for women with large hands. Of course I say that not having either female accessories or an xl to try on.

  58. The “Thanks” on my packing slip does not have a J, but rather an exclamation point. Maybe by the time my order came up JJ was in a hurry? 🙂

  59. Good morning. The rain has stopped in Oklahoma so perhaps it will elsewhere but it seems I got a glimpse of the weather channel and they were talking snow storms in the Dakota state from another big rain system hitting west coast? Those people have had horrible storms, I have a lot of friends there.

    There is a huge television just pots idea my bedroom door but I find I am happier to live in ignorance, even of the weather.

  60. I like the idea anon mentioned about offering (for an appropriate and commensurate price, of course…) the semi-customized signed strip as Brethed is apparently doing. I would sure buy one to hang in my study! 🙂

  61. So would I, in a heart beat. Of course we are still searching for my original and my original Tank McNamara to frame for my office.

    I did mention how you can only fire someone once unless you were dumb enough to hire them again. I was times three times three employees, so nine times stupid.

  62. Jackie, I have named my phone. But since it speaks to me in a female voice with a slightly supercilious tone, you don’t want to know what I call “her”.

    In my entire management career, I’ve terminated a grand total of three employees. One was due to “downsizing”, which I was forced to do by administration, against my judgement and advice. (In less than six months, I had to refill the position, but by then, I’d already found her another job.)

    The other two were for theft…really dumb theft, so it was more like I fired them for being dumb.

  63. Several people were terminated on my recommendation, but I’m glad to say that some good people were retained too. I’ve arrested people and recommended that some go to prison, so I’m used to doing the hard thing. I think that some people got a second chance, sometimes a third, on my recommendation. As Ghost said, most people are guilty of felony dumbness. Occasionally you meet a highly intelligent crook that just wants to get your money now instead of working for it.

  64. To paraphrase what the pizza guy says (“To make a better pizza, you have to use better ingredients.”), to have a better office, you have to hire better employees. I’ve always been fortunate in that regard.

    AccuGuesser says it will dip slightly into the 30s here tomorrow night. I hope they are correct, as andouille sausage is even now being thawed in preparation for a starring role in “A Dish Named Jambalaya”. Opening tomorrow night.

  65. Our local weather guy said that his dad was excited to tell him that it hit 52 in upstate New York today. When he told him that it was 85 here, his dad hung up on him. I’m ready for it to get back to our normal low/mid 70s.

  66. I guess my smart phone read my previous post. I was making a shopping list and dictated “potatoes”. She transcribed it as “Butt Titus”.

    Either that, or @#$%& has been secretly talking to Hal.

  67. Ghost, does your phones name sound like Mitch? Or possibly Moe? Buh-tae-tis isn’t a standard pronunciation for the starchy tuber originally from the Andes…

  68. Sounds like “Mitch”, David. Her slightly snippy reply when so addressed is usually, “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

    Well, la-de-dah. I’d prefer a real female to respond with a bit more spirit. Like, perhaps, “$&*! it, @$$#*!%.”

  69. Ghost et al since Hal doesn’t speak Latin or legalese, don’t try to hire floral drivers or housekeepers, bad run of luck there. Especially in Oklahoma, although now that I think of it, road reps hard to find and not fire.

    I went and had a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage. Missed pharmacy and hair dresser, along with notary. Oh well, as Scarlett said, “There’s always tomorrow” unless that was Annie?

    Surgery at sometime around noon, I will have someone post on Facebook and try for here on Hal or tablet.

    Sorting mail and throwing away. I didn’t sleep last night so why bother?

  70. Ghost, I’m not sure what says about me that I understood exactly what your female’s response would be. Could be that the strategic placement of dollar-signs gave exactly the right clues.
     
    Jackie– Scarlett O’Hara’s line at the end of Gone with the Wind, “After all, tomorrow is another day.” Like you, I read pretty much everything in the school libraries growing up. Even most of the old Encyclopedia Britannica that were in the high school library. The advent of E-books made my library expansion physically much less space intensive. I especially like Project Gutenberg, where all the classics are available for free!
     
    https://www.gutenberg.org/
     
    Good night all.

  71. Jackie, the one and only time I ever had surgery, I was told to check in at 5:00 AM…at a facility 100+ miles away. Plus, before leaving, I had to collect my sister and a friend who insisted on being there. So I didn’t bother sleeping that night. Then, of course, they kept bumping my start time. (Not my doc’s fault…emergency cases kept the OR tied up, and they had a shortage of gas passers.) And of course I was NPO since midnight, and they had to keep me that way, not knowing when my surgery would start. They finally took me to pre-op at 3:30 that afternoon.

    I did, however, wake up to find myself in a VIP suite. When I went back to see the surgeon for my two week follow-up, I told him how much I appreciated the suite, because it had made my sister’s stay much easier for her. “Did you have anything to do with that?” I asked him.

    “Oh, ah, well, I don’t know…” he replied kind of vaguely while looking over my right shoulder.

    “Doctor,” I told him with a laugh, “you’re one hell of a surgeon, but you’d make a crappy poker player.”

    So I hope you have better luck with the scheduling of yours than I did mine, but that the outcome is just as good. Good luck, babe, and we’ll be waiting to hear from you.

  72. Debbe: I’m going to do a “Twelve Days of Christmas” tunes list for you this year. Yeah, I know, that actually begins on Christmas Day, but who wants to still be listening to Christmas music on January 5th? So mine will run from December 14th to Christmas Day. Enjoy.

    Debbe 😉 So who says Christmas can’t be down & dirty?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDV0Y6UK0zs

  73. Tomorrow is cat herders? I thought every day was! Lately my role has been kitty doorman because with eight of them with run of house and yard there is huge milling effecct. We feed them outdoors but they know Dickens is fed In here so they try to scarf up his too.

    THANKS for good wishes. I think prayer is circling the world for me. France, England, Scotland, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Phillippines, Japan, China, India, Germany, South Africa, Russia, Italy, those are just countries off top of my head without checking. Think there were some in Caribbean. Prayers of many faiths and nationalities. I think one of my Welsh friends practices some pre-Christian religion and some of my Native American friends do.

    This gives me so much peace, to know in times like the past few months that people of many cultural and ethnic backgrounds cares for one solitary woman in a little hick town in the middle of America. Gives me renewed faith in mankind if we could get them interested in building wooden boats. Love, Jackie

  74. Jackie, your last comment made me think that, living as a desert state as I do, perhaps I’d need to grow a beard before emulating Noah… but I’m of very pale English stock mixed with some Choctaw or Cherokee and my beard would be too patchy to be good for anything but derision from the local juveniles. If I were bald perhaps I could set some bears upon them but I don’t qualify for that either. (2 Kings 2:23-24)

  75. Good morning Villagers…

    Jackie, sending hugs and prayers your way for a successful surgery, and also prayers for your surgeon’s skilled hands……Amen

    Gal, are you going to keep us posted?

    Packing at the other hen house is different, a one conveyor packer, the skid is on the side for placing trays of six….not use to the settings…..so I tripped and fell, with a stack of six trays of eggs, landed on my knee, rolled in the eggs, and just laid there hoping I had not cracked me knee bone. Got up, had egg all over my back, brushed it off, cleaned up the mess and went back to packing…..dang it’s hard to keep a good woman down. But this morning, my knee is quite tender. So, when I pack again today, the skid is behind me…like I’m use to.

    Temps are falling, and when the hen house is vacant, there is no heat….I feel sorry for them, but I’m glad I’m not part of the cleaning crew.

    I forgot to mention that we watched an American bald eagle in the field feeding on a carcass of a dead deer. He was beautiful, his wing span was probably 5 feet, Andrew said. Awesome sight to see it fly. Probably came from the Glendale reservoir nearby…

    Jerry, the plot thickens at BCN……

    ya’lll have a blessed day…..

    will check in later to see if there is any news on Jackie…..

  76. I’d like to offer my prayers for Jackie’s recovery but especially for her surgeon’s skill. I usually pray for the airline pilot when I fly and not directly for myself. God bless us every one.
    An early Merry Christmas to one and all.

  77. Debbe, she has excellent insight into a cat’s mind (and they do have very active minds). Your story reminded me of my recent stay in the hospital. I fell and had a large egg on the back of my head. I had three nurses there to pick me up. You are required to leave all dignity outside when you check into a hospital. Ghost, good song. I obviously don’t have a feline mind this morning so Elvis and I will return to bed.

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