Frequently Questioned Answers III

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

Speaking of saving labor, I don’t remember what was going on in the late fall of 2002, when this series would have been drawn, but it is obvious I was trying to produce a “quick” week of work. There is a lot of, shall we say, economy in the drawing. Plus, the gimmick of “answering” reader mail isn’t exactly an original one. However, life sometimes places one in a bind, even a cartoonist, but if the result is acceptable, all is well. I like to think this little series turned out well. Whatever was compelling me to hurry, I think the jokes are sharp. Sometimes, hitting a single in a pinch can be a very satisfying achievement.

90 responses to “Frequently Questioned Answers III”

  1. JJ: I have to think of a +/- new topic 1x a month and write 700-900 words about it, and sometimes am at a loss. How you and others produce fresh stuff 6-7 days a week I don’t know.

    Peace, emb

  2. JJ…I am enjoying this series of retros……in 2002. I didn’t even own a computer, only got the weekly newspaper, but when Mom owned the bridal shop in Jasper, she subscribed to their daily paper and that is where I picked up on A&J…I don’t recall ever reading a ‘just don’t get it’ strip Well, maybe one or two. 🙂 It’s a tough business, and I can probably speak for the whole Village, we are so glad you persevered.

  3. Seems I replied OK over in step II of today’s or week’s retro blog. Had a interesting bacon cheesy gritty something with half a large fresh tomato added. I have had worse. Plough in through fridge and throwing away.

    If asparagus isn’t spoiled may concoct something like an omelet for later, swallowing meds and shooting insulin, feeding pets, taking a bath. Just dragged out all my poor animals filthy dishes and buckets, filled sink with soapy water. Pet yard is disgusting and I intend to personally do all jobs I have paid others to do to remind myself why you can only fire someone once.

  4. Debbe 😉 Re your daily nightly shot of W.T. with Honey: “Moderation in all things, including moderation.” – My maintenance staff sergeant, as a toast when lifting a glass of 7&7.

    Trucker, I have a friend who has been known to show up unexpectedly at birthday parties wearing a gorilla suit; that’s as close as I can come to topping your Santa suit story. (And yes, I do have some strange friends.)

    Jackie, be careful taking your bath. Remember that most home accidents occur in the bathroom…and often make for very awkward encounters with First Responders. 🙂

  5. TruckerRon, I have worn the red suit a few times (and yes, without the need for additional padding). The first time was probably 35 years ago. My land lady said her choir was looking for a Santa so I agreed. Her daughter was old enough to know what was what but her son was just on the brink of not believing.

    Come intermission, I disappeared and Santa showed up. I selected the daughter to be my assistant and her son was proud of that. I thought the gig would be up when he sat on my lap because my voice is distinctive. I asked him if he had been good and he say “yes”. And then I asked about the incident the previous week where he got into trouble at school and his eyes got very wide. And then I asked about him hitting his sister and got a large gasp from him.

    When I got back to my seat after intermission he exclaimed, “Gary you mised him. Santa was here and he knows everything…”. I suspect I am responsible for some therapy for him.

    A photo from the last time I wore the suit:

  6. Jackie, I have used a CPAP for close to 20 years. I have gone through a number of over-the-nose masks. The problem for me is getting a good seal with the mustache and beard. I have since gone to nasal pillows (nasal inserts). I know some people have a problem adjusting to them but they work perfectly for me.

  7. We are getting ready to take our annual trek to spend Christmas with kids and grands in Louisiana. Son and daughter only live about 45 minute drive from each other, so we get to spend time with both families. Unfortunately, neither home is really comfortable for us, but we don’t complain because spending time with family makes up for it. If it gets bad, we could always go stay in a nearby motel. But then we wouldn’t see kidlums early in the morning.

    This year we are sleeping at the son’s house. While we are away I will have limited access to the internet. My wish for everyone in the Village is good cheer for Christmas. Sometimes it is hard to find during the holidays, but a visit with Arlo & Janis is a good start. Merry Christmas!

  8. Using the same panel reminds me of the old Hanna-Barbera cartoons.

    They took shortcuts that Warner Bros. never did (as far as I can remember).

  9. Gary, you look good in that Santa suit. I have been Mrs. Santa before at kids events. Used to do story time at library in costume. I remember Mrs. Santa had a mob cap and white lower cut white blouse and a dress sort of like Julie Andrew’s in Sound of Music with an apron, wire rimmed glasses, gray hair and a basket full of cookies.

    We did Mrs. Santa at my candy-floral-gift shop with kids and at open house. By then I was too busy and by then someone else wore costume.

    Gary, I do nasal pillows. The tubing made me have nightmares about snakes.

  10. Never have played Santa. With my height, one of the guys i knew at work used to call me Lurch. On the other hand, at one of my other security assignments one of the saleswomen said I reminded her of Christopher Reeve in the Clark Kent getup. So, you see what you want, I guess.

    Be very careful doing things alone, since you just left the hospital, Jackie.

    However you do it, Jimmy, I like it! You pull off being funny more often than not. And you do it without questionable language, politics, picking on any regional groups or religions. I know you can’t manage any more than you are, but we sure need more like you in the business! Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and many more successful years doing what you do!

  11. What Mark said Jimmy! But if you could manage a sailing tee shirt I will buy them for Sail Oklahoma, about 100 at least and take orders at other events at no cost to you. Give me a reason to talk about my favorite cartoonist.

    Mark I will come meet you in person to see how tall you actually are. I can tell it
    Makes you self concious towering over us shrimp. I am coming to Florida at least for my birthday in February.

    Hey, I had brilliant idea (told you blood surged to brain when they opened tap) Gary put photo of his Santa suit from Facebook so it can be done. Mark you already know what I look like, put Ghost out of danger of joining Facebook and post those photos of early me and me now. Gary you can too if you know how. The me now in the All You Need is A Smile photo was taken as I went out back door, no makeup nor hair done, just jeans and flip flops and a tee shirt and smile. And down about 15 pounds since photo taken.

    For comparison of aging, Ghost in photo on grass I am 60 years younger and weighed about 110 lbs. Usual guess from those that actually know me is 30 years difference in time lapse, I only mention that because we know how you feel about women. No fake photos of me anywhere.

    Back to world of boating. I have to go do some nautical things.

  12. Jackie, there was a brief period when Livre de Visages would let me access your “page” (or whatever it’s called) on the InterWebNet. I did get to see the bare-shoulders portrait with the 60s swoop-down-toward-one-eye hair style I assume was made when you were in high school. (You looked seriously dishy, by the way, but I’m sure you heard that all the time.) I did not, however, see the “Lolita in the Grass” photo you mentioned.

  13. reading this retro strip jarred something loose in me noggin. I thought, “maybe I should answer a letter from the Bubbaworld Mailbag.” Then my next thought was “it should be a late notice from the electric company and the last panel is black with eyes showing.” So thanks for the nudge

  14. Jackie, I have tried to copy photos from there before, but for some reason what works on any other site does not let you take the photos and put them elsewhere. My ex told me the only thing to do is to use a site like Flickr to post your photos and then post the link to that site where you want others to see it. When it comes to FB I’m at kindergarten stage. Until I started talking to you folks from the Village here, I mostly used it as a way to maintain a Spotify account.

  15. I’ve talked about the cats we have here, here is one of the oldest. She was a kitten when I moved back here in 2010, so she is just over 5 now. She had a brother with the same markings, but he disappeared just a few days before the tornado hit here in 2011.

    Good night. Hope everyone has a good and safe week, especially those who are traveling to be with loved ones.

  16. OMG! Is that the famous (dare I say, infamous) red convertible!?

    From the Department of Odd Coincidences, I also once owned and drove a red convertible. My hair wasn’t that big, though.

  17. Ghost I owned three red convertibles, that is only one and it is so small we’d have to shoe horn you in and out. I owned a silver sports car so tiny it was like flying over the pavement on a seat.

    The one I thought you’d like was the jail bait in grass one. I am 12 years old there and never grew any more until I blew up fat. I had not noticed until I found these photos that I had eyebrows like Blue Lagoon?

  18. Yes, Jackie, I did like the “jail bait” photo; I was just trying not to come across as too creepy. 🙂 And yes, the eyebrows were striking; first thing I noticed.

    I think I’ll retouch the “older you” photo. (College age?) No, that doesn’t mean I’ll digitally remove your clothes or anything. But I do like to scan and restore old, faded and damaged photos. My mom recently found a small (2.5 x 3 inch) snapshot of my sister and me, made in our backyard when I was about 5 and she about 3. It was in pretty bad shape, but I scanned, repaired, cropped, enlarged, printed and framed it for her. She loves it and keeps it by her recliner where she can easily see it.

    Of course, I guess I could lower the neckline of your dress just a little. 😉

  19. Are you referring to the one with the long hair that is damaged? The one with the sweet smile? I was in Very Late 20s and in Hawaii as adjudicator for civilian deaths from Turkey back to California during Vietnam .

    Unless you mean Very, Very old and have three inch nails?

    Brooke didn’t exist when I was young but someone did that I looked like, I have just grown too old to remember or their starlets faded long, long ago. People always acted like they do, even now when they think they have spotted someone. Women used to strike up conversations in restaurant ladies rooms and many just asked “Who ARE you?” No one wants to believe you when you answer truthfully.

    About the smile, it’s perfect now if the nerve damage to face and neck goes away.

  20. Brain getting blood. Carroll Baker in early years, same eyebrows as Brooke’s. And she definitely took it off and took it off, again and again. Shouldn’t have remembered because I just saw how she looks now. OMG! She did not age well.

    But honestly, except she became famous movie star, she is most remembered for nudity. Talk about pokies but you don’t want to see her now. Hal changed that to ponies.

  21. Speaking of football, I thought that it was fairly ironic that my first alma mater lost the Camellia Bowl the same way that my second alma mater lost its game against the other Team Up North.

  22. Good morning Villagers….

    Gary, you looked good as Santa, just like the real Santa 🙂 No phony beards for this Santa believer.

    And what can I say about Jackie’s looks, striking, yes. Love the red convertible too. Our second car was a white 1967 (?) Mustang with a convertible top….I thought I was hot stuff back then…reddish blonde hair blowing, Beach Boys playing in the 8 track…yes, those were the good old days.

    The rain should be over by 8ish, going back to my hen house for the first round of ‘chicks’…they are approximately 18 weeks old…..and I’m the counter. Five in each cage the first top three rows, and 4 in the bottom. I make sure none are caught in the cage doors.

    I will never take two days off in a row again. Drama, drama, drama. The nephew-in-laws are feuding.

    Well, have a blessed Monday everyone!

  23. Thanks Jerry. She has the body type of a Domestic Shorthair, but color and markings of a tabby point Siamese. But she has white feet. The mother was mostly white with black blotches. I have a feeling there was a Siamese in the ancestry because we have a number of cats running around out there that are white with colored markings that follow the distribution of marks on a Siamese. She is almost completely silent, demands a lot of attention.

  24. Yes, Jackie, the late 20s photo from Hawaii. (I thought you were about 19, so there’s a 10 year looks/age differential right there.) Yes, you had a definite resemblance to Carroll Baker, who had a prolific but checkered film career.

    And yes, much of that career seemed to be built around the fact she seemed to have trouble keeping her clothes on in front of the camera. If a reasonably competent actress chooses to use her lady parts in a supporting role, I say good on her. But Ms. Baker’s appeared to use hers more as the star of many of her “appearances”.

  25. I thought that she was a Ragdoll because of her head coloring and blue eyes. I can’t tell in the photo whether she has a bushy tail. For those who are wondering I am referring to the picture of the cat.

  26. ‘That’s about the most political Arlo has been in quite a while.’

    Since Tea-Partiers, socialists, and pragmatists often use those or similar words, I think JJ is off the hook.

    Peace, emb

  27. Jerry in FL, she is a shorthair. But a kitten from her last litter has medium length hair, is white with black markings on face, ears, back and black, bushy tail.

    Ghost, I thought Jackie’s 20’s photo looked more like Ann-Margaret in her 1960’s/1970’s movie phase.

  28. Thank you for cat clarification. Even at very obese I could not be considered bushy tailed. But that is a southernism, bushy tailed and bright.

    For some reason looking at Carroll Baker photos through the years made me feel really, really good that my porn career, if wearing as much as we did was porn, was most short and I didn’t try to do it for life.

    About how young I looked, that always got hearings attorneys who would have honey and sweetie fetch and tote coffee, etc. And then honey set at head of conference table to hear their case.

  29. I suspect that is who many thought I was because I lived in Hawaii and New Orleans in those days and frequented hotels and restaurants where there were celebrities in those days. That and waiters and maitre D’s kissing our feet was a tip off back then.

    A young woman who knows me says Adele in her younger days but both could be my children.

    Quit bleaching hair in late 1960s so it was always full and dark blonde ash until I began frosting it. Now it is naturally frosted ash blonde.

    What the heck, cardiologist office should be open by now!

  30. I wanted to wish everyone a sunny and happy solstice today. At 23:48 EST, that should include most of you with just a few spilling over to tomorrow.

    We have sleet, rain and freezing rain but I am still going to have a sunny day.

  31. “Feelin’ bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ten feet tall.”

    Far be it from me, Jackie, to fault you for making a bunch of attorneys squirm. Now, perhaps you need to make some cardiologists squirm:)

  32. No, I knew how old Ann Margaret was, it is young woman and Adele who could be my daughters. This young woman has been trying to get me to hire her for a couple years. She thinks I am sexy senior and makes me banana milkshakes with skim milk and no sugar added ice cream or iced tea, no sugar, half a fresh lime sqeezed, where she works now. She knew me obese and she’s a huge fan.

    Been on hold at primary physicians office. Don’t need a doctor or die week of Christmas. Just got off phone with my deputy, his sister in law died of MS and services are tomorrow or next day. One of my editors lost his mother this weekend, services are this week. Know the feelings.

  33. ‘But that is a southernism, bushy tailed and bright.’

    Jackie, it’s more widespread than just southern. Rather than ‘bushy tailed and bright’, I’ve more often heard ‘bright-eyed and ‘bushy tailed.’

    Peace, emb

  34. I imagine Egyptians and Hebrews had the same trouble converting from their [2 different sized] cubits to ‘ and “. Likewise, more recently, Brits from sterling to decimal. I understand one stave church in Norway is humongous because the builders thought the plan’s feet were metres. [Speelczech wants meters.]

    Below, I’ll ad a blind-copy email I just sent out. Peace, emb

  35. Just heard Michael Barone announce on MPR the usual live broadcast, at 0900* 24 Dec. of ‘Nine lessons and carols’ from the chapel of King’s College, Cambridge, UK . 9 standard readings from Hebrew Bible and New Testament [both KJV], generally by a few to several Brit. accents, + more than 9 carols by the combined soprano/alto boys choir [one member of which starts the ceremony with verse 1 of ‘Once in Royal David’s City’] and the choir of tenors, baritones, and basses of Cambridge students. King’s is a long chapel; you will actually hear that kid’s voice before the sound gets to the back rows.

    *It’s 1500 [3 pm] then in Cambridge; the stained glass windows go dark during the service, even earlier than they would in N. USA. Cambridge is 52+ deg. N; Winnipeg, Manitoba about 50 N. For those who cannot manage 9 am Chr. Eve morning, the program is rebroadcast at 5 pm [1700] 24 Dec. Some may want to listen 2x.

    [9L&C is also broadcast by Amer. Public Media on other public radio stations.]

    Joyeux Noel, emb

  36. The famous stuck in the mud incident which brought my late husband international infamy and admiration happened because his partner thought the charts were in feet, not inches. I of course knew but he refused to listen, told me he had studied charts for months for both challenges.

    Told me to f.o. I almost left him stuck out there.

  37. An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

    Told her preacher she had two final requests.

    First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

    She wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

    ‘Wal-Mart?’  the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’

    ‘Then  I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.’

    Till later

  38. What, elected officials and politicians who want to be elected officials attempt to deflect or/and distract? Really?

    Jackie, misinterpreting data is somewhat understandable. (See below) Failing to own up to it when you do is unforgivable.

    LA Times 10-1-99: “NASA lost its $125-million Mars Climate Orbiter because spacecraft engineers failed to convert from English to metric measurements when exchanging vital data before the craft was launched, space agency officials said Thursday.

    “A navigation team at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory used the metric system of millimeters and meters in its calculations, while Lockheed Martin Astronautics in Denver, which designed and built the spacecraft, provided crucial acceleration data in the English system of inches, feet and pounds.

    “As a result, JPL engineers mistook acceleration readings measured in English units of pound-seconds for a metric measure of force called newton-seconds.”

    The spacecraft crashed.

  39. Villagers cease thy worry, the deeds art done! I got every poltice purveyor and bloodletter booked ! Amen!

    Dermatologist, endocrinologist (two different ones) rheumatologist, internist (who is primary) surgical cardiologist, sleep apnea specialist, dentist (last of caps) and big drum roll, top plastic surgeon in Tulsa to start planning to lose some skin.

    Deliberate pun, excess skin costs some skin unless I can justify with some of my ailments.

    Even rented another warehouse to move the 26 foot fiberglass sailboat into so we can turn boat port into car port and clean out area. Dog house is about finished, along with garden house and we shift gears to laying concrete stones for walks, dry patio areas, retaining fake stone stacker for creek sides.

    Feel so much better but staying in house, not lifting stuff, cooking a little. Clean stove and load and unload dishwasher, keep going through fridge @ND throwing away. Doing mild exercises with no weights, no bends or much exertion. Still works.

  40. J: while you’re talking to your surgeon about excess skin, ask if you can donate it. Most temporary grafts are done with cadaver skin but there are uses for skin from living donors. It’s hard to find info, but your doctor should know.

  41. Oh yeah, planning to go spend my birthday in first week in February in Florida Keys with my little sailboat Cookies
    Which was plan when I bought her last birthday from there. Mrs. Mac’s Kitchen while freeing cats. Thinking I may buy one of the Ford F150 pickups with the new Ford campers available through your dealer for first time. The pickup was kind of planned, sort of, but I hadn’t yet decided on camper which was part of original plan.

  42. Dear Jackie, nice going! Your plans and medical appointments are perfectly delightful! You are taking hold of life with both hands and I am thrilled for you.

  43. Well, I could have other toe nail cut on but they won’t do it until after released from all the others, so skipped podiatrist and allergy specialists. They can wait until I am back but may skip toe for now.

    Pushing envelope of recovery so I can be in Florida and warm water. Invited a female friend but she declined, in a commited relationship.I told her I was just going to sail, kayak and swim, plus I was straight. She laughed.

  44. sand, I don’t even know what to say about that…other than if one’s “reindeer” seems to be staring down at one’s feet, one perhaps needs to rethink wearing it.

  45. Jackie, if you accomplished all that today, I need to hire you as my Administrative Assistant. I could then take early retirement and no one would notice I was gone.

    I have had very noisy voice service at home for several days, although my DLS seemed to be working OK. This morning, the service tech called me and said he was on the way. I said that was fine, but I was told to expect him on the 23rd, and I was not there. He said he probably would not need access and would come on. When I got home this afternoon, the phone line was totally dead and DSL was out. About 6:00, just as I was starting to think that Lily* from AT&T was going to owe me a date (or something), my service came back up. We shall see if it lasts.


  46. Ghost, not only did I accomplish that but called pharmacy twice, my insurance agent, my lawyer called to say I had over paid him by $1700 and several other minor things like the golf cart store regarding replacing my stolen cart, contacted Ford regarding pickup and read articles and literature on new camper they are sellingp, ran and wrote on my two big Facebook pages and the three Yahoo sites I still manage.

    Plus conducted a lot of polite miscellaneous comments elsewhere and here.

    At my peak of time management I ran six sales territories at once, including one on one coaching to the reps, customer service to that account base and MOST importantly made every appointment these guys went to, setting them for the sale. All these guys were given choice of being fired, quitting or working with me. In the time I did this three won Salesman of the Year and two more would have but they got fed up with company and quit. One had been national sales manager and he said it was only year he had enjoyed the job because he knew he had a sale when he walked in. Territory was Atlantic to Pacific and Gulf to Mason Dixon line. We brought in 80% of all new business in those years, other eight reps brought in 20%.

    Yes, I can multi task if brain working. By the way I just got press release on Race to Alaska teams R2AK 2016 if you want to Google and there is a Team Ghost Rider. You said you didn’t sail.

  47. Mark, I think that Sand got my point and it had very little to do with Star Wars. Thunder boomers tonight. Steve Harvey went to Twitter and apologized to the Phililand. Strike two.

  48. This Christmas season I have sorely missed the usual bunch of televised university musical productions. In the past, they’d start by Dec. 10th. This year, I have seen exactly one – from Bucknell – and that was only a day or two ago. Schedule seems to say that Mercer’s production will be shown in a few minutes – at 3 a.m. local time! For those who cannot make that hour, there is a repeat listed for 4 a.m. [no kidding].

  49. Good morning Villagers….

    They’re here, they’re here…my ‘chicks’, they’re a little small, about 16 weeks old. One looked distressed, pulled her out, she started squawking. petted her, then put my palm over her eyes and she calmed down. I had to go down three aisles and make sure the right amount of numbers were in the right cages. We have 4 more truck loads to go. (Silly me….over chicks)

    Had to put down 8 roosters… was not a pretty sight…told the Boss I want gas. Much easier on the boys as…well, not going into detail here. So I’m going to get gassed this morning 🙂

    Sand…that was a spectacular image, saved it to my pictures and it will be on my slideshow when my computer sits idle.

    And Lilly Tomlin, emb is right, it is a keeper…..I remember those episodes “we’re the phone company, we don’t have to care” snort, snort 🙂

    Going in at 8 ish, happy trails GR 😉

    ….and that sure is one ugly sweater…..

    Jackie….keep on rocking hon…..I’d go with you if I could, I’m a wild and crazy kind of girl.

    Ya’ll have a blessed day…………..

  50. Mark, I meant to mention that your cat does have beautiful markings… she likes attention? Aren’t lap cats great? They are better than any pill or psychiatric sessions, the purr alone puts me at ease.

  51. All: Snail? mail. Pkg. tracked during Chr. season. It came Sat 19 D. This was in my email FROM THE SENDER this morning, T 22 D. Not bad for an inherently inefficient gubmint outfit. Peace, emb
    Product & Tracking Information

    Postal Product:Priority Mail 3-Day™


    USPS Tracking™

    Up to $100 insurance included
    Restrictions Apply Priority Mail Insurance info icon

    Date & Time

    Status of Item


    December 19, 2015 , 9:28 am Delivered, In/At Mailbox BEMIDJI, MN 56601

    Your item was delivered in or at the mailbox at 9:28 am on December 19, 2015 in BEMIDJI, MN 56601.

    December 19, 2015 , 6:37 am Out for Delivery . BEMIDJI, MN 56601

    December 19, 2015 , 6:27 am Sorting Complete . BEMIDJI, MN 56601

    December 19, 2015 , 12:22 am

    Arrived at Post Office .

    BEMIDJI, MN 56601

    December 18, 2015 , 3:37 am

    Departed USPS Destination Facility .

    SAINT PAUL, MN 55121

    December 18, 2015 , 2:29 am

    Arrived at USPS Destination Facility .

    SAINT PAUL, MN 55121

    December 14, 2015 , 10:09 pm

    Departed USPS Facility .

    PROVIDENCE, RI 02904

    December 14, 2015 , 6:18 pm

    Arrived at USPS Origin Facility .

    PROVIDENCE, RI 02904

    December 14, 2015 , 5:03 pm

    Accepted at USPS Origin Sort Facility .

    COVENTRY, RI 02816

    December 14, 2015

    Pre-Shipment Info Sent to USPS

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