As I write this, I have a pecan pie baking in the oven. In case you’re wondering, that’s puh-KAHN. Also, I was involved yesterday in a lively online discussion about “stuffing” vs. “dressing.” It’s dressing around here, and it’s always baked in a pan separate from the turkey. Mine starts as a simple slurry of cornbread, onions, celery and chicken stock. Add eggs and spices and bake. That’s about it. I’ll tell you something else I do if you won’t repeat it, because it is not health-department approved. Primarily, I cook my turkey by placing it in a roasting pan in the late evening; I preheat the oven to 500 degrees, and in goes the turkey. I go binge watch “The Crown” for an hour, then turn off the oven. Never open the door! Forget about it. Leave the bird all night, and in the morning it will be moist and delicious. There are caveats. As I said, this is not recommended by experts. They will say the turkey might not be completely cooked. I take this into account. Sometimes, I use a small turkey, and it will get falling-off-the-bone done. If I’m cooking a larger bird or if I want to put on the dog, metaphorically speaking, I finish the turkey in my backyard smoker for a few hours the next morning. You are free to discuss methods of turkey cooking, but you cannot argue with me. You cannot argue with me, because my mother cooked her turkeys that way. We are all still alive. Those of us who haven’t died. Happy Thanksgiving, and thank you for being here.