Knock Knock Joke


Today we have a Saturday post featuring an A&J from 2004. As I have mentioned, I’ll be in New England in August, at the Boston Comic Con Aug. 12-14 and at the Vermont Comic Con Aug. 27-28. This is my first real venture into this sort of thing, and I chose New England, because I have a lot of readers there whom I’ve never had a chance to meet. I have shipped more copies of “Beaucoup Arlo & Janis” to Massachusetts than to any other state. I am happily aware I have followers in other places as well, particularly the upper Midwest. I am thinking I might do this convention thing two or three times a year if all goes well in the northeast. I’m open to suggestions for appearances in 2017. Do you have a comics convention where you live? It seems everyone does!
Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

58 responses to “Knock Knock Joke”

  1. Jimmy does more before 9:00 AM than most folks do all day. (Thanks, US Army!)

    I suspect the retro cartoon above is on the short list for the “Arlo & Janis After Dark” book.

  2. In the USAF, of course, at 9:00 AM we were having our third cup of coffee, checking the markets, and starting to think about what to wear that day. 🙂

  3. And then there are those of us who went back to sleep and just woke up again. A 10 pound Adventure Dog is enthusiastically licking my foot. He has a foot fetishist and dove under comforters when I greeted him. Now I have to let him lick or it hurts his feelings.

    You get used to it unlike cats who lick.

  4. Venezuela wasn’t in very good shape when I lived there. I vividly remember poverty, revolution and dictatorial governments. All Americans should experience that to appreciate our own country. And avoid dictators.

    I am being head butted by a hungry spoiled cat named Skipper.

  5. Scroll down from Debbe’s cheezeburger yesterday and you come to a matching quiz: match the photo to the pictured animal’s ‘scientific name’.Since you have another turn whenever you guess wrong, you eventually get all right, and it says, ‘Wow.’

    The quiz is not consistent: sometimes it’s order, sometimes family, once even subspecies. I knew some, but of course eventually got all right. Fun, and some of them may stick, at least as recognition if not recall. Peace,

  6. ‘2. All Americans should experience that to appreciate our own country. And avoid dictators.’

    Interesting wrinkles on that. Daniel Arap Moi was the +/- benevolent dictator of Kenya when we were there on an 18-day safari in ’87. In Nairobi, his photo was in every store, sure sign this is not just the country’s elected leader. Kenya is capitalist, and you can own land, but what you do has got to be ok w/ the boss. Basically, low-key fascism. There were camo-uniformed* soldiers around, but not so many you’d always see them. Don’t know how limited the press was, but clearly some. Very comfortable being there, and interesting to be part of the very obvious minority. [*Illegal for civilians / visitors to wear camo.]

    Same time, ’80s-’90s, church friends [former ’60s BSU students] visited USSR often, mostly what is now Chechnya, same story. Plus, if you forgot your wallet someplace, it was waiting for you when you went back. [That, I believe, is now less likely there.]

    USSR was ‘Communist’ [actually something the Soviets never really achieved, and possibly unachievable]: the state owned everything except some personal stuff, and everyone worked for the state, or had a ‘job’ involving little work. Turned out to be inoperable, largely [IMO] / failure of real feedback up to where it was needed. But like Kenya, fine place for non-threatening foreigners to visit. Now, like Kenya in ’87, basically low-key fascism, and probably not a good place to mislay your wallet. Few years ago, a Russian civilian was quoted, ‘Everything Marx told us about Communism was false, but everything he told us about capitalism was true.’

    Is ‘Communist China’ communist? Major difference btw. it and the other two now is that you cannot own land, but can own whatever the Party allows you to build on it, and most [much?] production/employment is capitalist. Good 5-day visit there in the late ’90s, just after Thanksgiving, wrote 3 columns, no good reason to post them here. One item stolen from my backpack, outdoors, in a crowded park; one I could not manage without today.


  7. Well embedded you should have gone to Cuba, central America or south America, especially during a revolution. My memories aren’t so benevolent.

  8. Hey, the rats chasing Arlo and Janis in the banner are great. Haven’t mentoned how good all your artwork for the “project” is but it is what it is, excellent.

    Kickstart has gone over $15,000 and I am proud of Jimmy and the Village. Only four days to go.

  9. Trucker, from early this morning: Yep, there is a difference between, say, “three times more than” and “three times as much”. Other similar wordings are possible. Example:

    Suppose a chap [or chappess?] drives along at 25 mph. If another person drives three times as fast, that second person is moving at 75 mph. However, if a third party drives three times faster than the chap/pess, then that third party is driving at 100 mph. One could also have stated hat the third party’s rate of speed was three times more than the chap/pess’ rate of speed.

  10. This song just popped up on my radio a few minutes ago and it seemed so appropriate given some of our recent comments. You see, I love America and always have. I love the geography, the scenery, the people, the little towns and even some of the big ones. I could have traveled the world but I chose America.

  11. TruckerRon on 30 Jul 2016 at 1:28 pm #
    Joke for today!
    A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down…

    The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?”
    “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”

    “Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.”

    “I’d be happy to,” said the blonde.

    So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went…

    Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.

    With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.
    “What are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!”

    “Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde. “But we had money left over so now we’re going to Sea World.”

  12. Trucker: That is hilarious, perhaps the more so because I used to take care of chimps and other critters at the Bronx Zoo.

    Jackie: I made no claims re fascist countries in general, and I love the USA as much as anyone. Therefore, I am particularly disturbed, when [IMO] our national behavior disappoints me.

    I may express my love differently from some. E.g., I don’t own a flag, but strive to leave a smaller ‘footprint’ than many do.


  13. The comic com where I live in Columbus, Ohio is this weekend. Interesting folks wandering around the convention center while I shopped at the North Market.

  14. Our national behavior has often distressed me my entire life. We do not treat our fellow citizens as we should but neither do most of the world treat theirs so well. Given poverty in a third world nation or America I’d still take America. Ditto on politics although right now I am appalled.

    Somebody link that link about alternative candidates please. It’s time to go back to America the beautiful.

  15. Have tried, 3x now, to send a long item [not nearly as long as some from me and others]. Reject 3x, w/ this note: “The requested URL was rejected. If you think this is an error, please contact the webmaster.

    Your support ID is: 9811610996821847746”

    The item contains no URL.

  16. emb: That’s what I was getting a couple of days ago when I broke my post into three parts. I think the URL it refers to is the one needed in order to process the post, but we have others here who are more knowledgeable about that.

  17. OK, here’s the Queen’s supposed preamble. Not advocating, just posting:

    Message from the Queen

    It was inevitable.


    To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

    In light of your failure [she says] to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).
    Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
    Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  18. 1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up ‘vocabulary’).

  19. British politics lately have been even worse than ours. And I don’t think a country that has managed to go from world superpower to third world nation in the space of a hundred years is where most of us want to go.

  20. BTW, she is older than I* and she looks pretty good. Cameron, also BTW, wouldn’t be as bad as one of our nominees. Partisans seemed will to overlook the birthplace of Kruz [sp?]; why not Cameron. Fat chance; he’s sane, and he’d turn it down. Peace,

    * I is right; “am” is understood.

  21. Excuse me, the last thought should say, the example most of us want to follow. That is closer to my thoughts. What I said first makes it sound like we would not even want to travel there, which is not what I meant.

  22. Cameron is no longer Prime Minister. New one is Theresa May. Cameron stepped down as soon as he could after his failure to convince the country not to vote to leave the EU.

  23. As I’ve intimated before, I don’t like or trust either of the major party candidates. I’ve read up a bit now on the Libertarian, and I don’t care for him either. Again, we need a NOTA option on the ballot!

  24. Here’s a thought: If an advertisement for a commercial product if full of falsehoods and phony promises, we can sue the manufacturer for fraud. Why don’t we hold politicians to the same standard? Because they exempted themselves when they wrote the laws. They claim the 1st Amendment allows them to lie to us and never be held accountable.

    We’re supposed to be able to trust the news media to tell us what’s really happening, but they’ve sold their souls to one party or another, and the truth is as elusive as a moonbeam.

    Disgusting, isn’t it!

  25. I have a feeling that most Americans wonder why England has a Queen and perhaps they wonder why too. At least they are able to vote and secede from a union without having a war about it. Having said that (you may have noticed that I tend to use that a lot), our current puzzle over immigration reminds me of the South’s worry over the end of slavery. Cotton growers were of the opinion that the end of slavery would ruin the economy of the south. It certainly required a lot of changes, but the south, and the country as a whole, survived and African-Americans became a valuable and patriotic part of our country. Why this is relevant to the current discussion would be apparent to anyone who has seen the Clint Eastwood movie Grand Torino. Considering his participation in a previous campaign I feel this movie goes a long way in explaining his lack of participation in the current one. It would certainly require some mental gymnastics on his part.

  26. The New York Times was sued for libel decades past. The Times argued that famous people could be libeled/slandered with impunity BECAUSE they were public figures. The Times won. SCOTUS essentially ruled that it is hard to libel famous people. This is not so in the UK. But here, you can say that Clinton sent Classified emails [turns out only two among thousands] on her PC, but, per FBI sworn testimony, they were not in fact marked CLASSIFIED, so she couldn’t tell. She said she hadn’t, which she thought was true, and therefore was not lying. But it’s legal to call her a liar, because she is a public figure. Good syndicated column in today’s Pioneer about that.

    In ’48, I was a starry eyed progressive, and Harry Truman did not charm me. I was only 18, too young to vote in ’48. Urged Mom to vote for Henry Wallace because Dewey was going to win anyway. Fortunately, she didn’t, and my respect for Truman grew as I matured. [I’m not sure, however, about that 2nd A-bomb.]

    Don’t waste your vote on 3rd party candidates. Sanity is a real issue in ’16.

    My mind these days goes back to a fateful year I don’t remember much about: 1933. [I was only 3 when the Weimar Republic ended.] Insanity both created and doomed the Third Reich. Peace,

  27. I meant to say this earlier and forgot to include it. Re the end of slavery, whatever economic issues there were, it was the right thing to do. In the end that is what America does. Someone said something like, When all alternatives have been tried, America will do the right thing. EMB, I hope that I have the honor of meeting you some day.

  28. I believe that it was 1933 when Hitler attempted to take over Germany by force of arms (the beer hall putsch). He failed , but set about getting himself elected with nothing but a loud mouth and appealing to the mob. Not to mention he did have skills and was very, very smart and had PD by the way.

  29. Jerry in Fl, I think that was 1923. I think 1933 was the Reichstag Fire, which gave Hitler the pretense needed to declare emergency measures.

    RE Hillary and the email question, this gives a breakdown of the material. And emb, regardless of whether the emails were marked classified at the time, this is why she should not have been using a private email server instead of the more secure ones required. By not following the requirements, she needlessly exposed sensitive information to the possibility of being stolen off the system.

  30. I’d have to look it up, but the beer hall putsch was years earlier. In ’33, in a relatively fair election, the Nazi Party got a plurality and, w/ the cooperation of a small far right party, got a majority to nominate him as Chancellor, and president Hindenburg so named him. This Reichstag [parliament] coalition then passed the Enabling Act, which gave Hitler’s cabinet the right to promulgate laws without the consent of the Reichstag, and that was the end of democracy in Germany. We do not have the same system, so the details w/b different.

    Insanity: not simply a raving maniac, but a most single-minded maniac with an obsessive hatred of Jews [not uncommon in Europe and Russia, even today], and of Bolsheviks. These clouded his reasoning, and his confidence in his own judgment was also irrational. He was, like most charismatic tyrants, surrounded by terrified yes-men. Tremendous wasted effort persecuting Jews, and losing some of Germany’s best minds in the process [I competed in high school with some of their sons], and crazy-impulsive. When he still had a chance of neutralizing the RAF [not a sure chance, but a chance], he decided instead to bomb the hell out of London and SE England, and lost any chance of air superiority henceforth. And his insane hatred of Bolshevism led him to Operation Barbarossa, which sealed Germany’s fate in WWII. Not understanding any German, I watched him give speeches in newsreel theaters. They seem eerily familiar today, and not just in a particular presidential candidate. It is also too similar to some rants I’ve seen from the pulpit, and some lesser lights in Congress.


  31. The Sunday strip reminds me of my stay at floral school in Holland. We were in what had been a modern monastery, austere, converted to a commercial use. They gave us one or two ice cubes per glass and acted like they were rationed. Being mainly Southern we thought so but assumed they were had no machine.

    On the last day we stumbled on a giant ice machine about 12 feet long, full of ice. They just could not imagine anyone wanting more than two cubes.

  32. Actually I just got home. Went to two different Country and Western clubs. Drank Diet Cokes. It is rodeo night and Whole Hawg Days here in town. I would comment that only a couple of the older gentlemen looked fit enough to ride a horse and definitely none of younger ones!

    Music wasn’t that bad and I was on good behavior except for being only woman there who could have worn lace shorts I wore. Where do they shop? I still had a good time but I need to find a good rock band closer than Tulsa.

  33. EMB:

    I’m sure about the second bomb.

    After the first, the Emperor wanted to surrender, and most or all of the military leaders urged him to reconsider.

    Then, some of the leaders planned to take him hostage to prevent him from surrendering. (I can’t recall if the plan had actually been put into action.) The leaders wanted to fight until the Allies were repulsed or the last Japanese had died.

    The second bomb was a necessary tragedy.

  34. I’m not surprised that Massachusetts buys a lot of books, A&J ran in the Boston Globe from early on, and we loved it. They were clipped out and put on fridges everywhere.

    Not a lot of work-re.ated strips overall, but the few I saw were funnier in the 1980s than Dilbert was in the 1990s. These were clipped out and put on cubicle walls.

    Lots of good, smart folks in Massachusetts, people who understand our neighbor Bernie Sanders better than someone who will yammer some dumb punchline about so-shul-izm, for example. But I’ll tell you that when I moved away, one of the main things I really missed was having A&J in the local newspaper.

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