On Pretty Good Authority

Today’s retro A&J is more antediluvian tech humor from barely five years ago. Presumably today they would both have a smart phone and would both be entitled to their own set of facts. Speaking of smart phones, I’ve discovered a strange phenomenon. My new phone has about four times the square footage of my old flip phone, but I’ve noticed it’s easier to lose! Maybe because it looks like a dozen other gadgets lying around the house. I’ve give some thought to what we discussed yesterday, the future of our retro feature, and I think I have come up with some ideas. I hope you’ll find them rather painless once implemented. Maybe we’ll run some experiments next week.
Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

220 responses to “On Pretty Good Authority”

  1. You might want to consider getting a case for your phone. Not only will it be protected, it will stand out a little better. If you’re hard on your phone, an Otterbox might be just the thing. If you’re careful, there are dozens of cases out there that can reflect your individuality. I bet you could even have one made with Arlo and Janis on it!

  2. I think the more different ways we use our phones, the more different places we might set them down “for a moment.”

    And dang, if they’re so smart – why can’t they just follow us around?

  3. There was some bantering about dowries; this turns that on its head with “bride prices”:


    While the PC crowd would certainly go after this production for its take on Polynesian culture, the following quote tells what the Hawaiians involved in it had to say:

    “Whitaker was initially quite concerned about the inherent racism of the piece, and was relieved when all the locals in Hawaii apparently loved the story. There is no record of concern on Whitaker’s or any one else’s part about the film’s sexism (even eight cows still commodify Mohanna), and it is interesting that apparently no revisionist readings have been offered.”

  4. Remember the good old days when the phone was attached by a cord to a big heavy thing on the hallway table, which was itself attached to the wall by another?

    As Arlo once said, “I remember when people were beaten to death with telephones.” — JJ

  5. Back then, when you were “On the phone” you were on the phone.

    Jimmy I had a holster for my old flip on my belt, but it kept falling off. I still have the flip as a backup and I just put it in my pocket. However the smart phone is much easier to break. Invest in an Otterbox. It makes the phone a little bigger, but if you drop the phone it doesn’t break.

  6. Steve from Royal Oak, MI: When I used an Iphone I had an Otterbox for it. The one weak point in the system was the belt clip that the encased phone clipped into. The hinge was made of the same plastic as the holster and the pins were too small to be durable. As a big guy, I caught the thing on door frames and chair arms and eventually the pins would just break off. When they did, there went the phone. I reported this to Otterbox and they actually sent me 3 more holsters as replacements. All of them eventually broke just like the first.

  7. Mark: I have a Droid and my wife and kids all have Eye-Phones. None of us use a belt clip. I think that I did not have mine for a week and I broke mine.

    My daughter’s phone was either stolen or broken all of the time without the otterbox. I think she has a new purse that holds it and it has not been stolen as much anymore. She lives in Chicago, so I guess that is life in the big city.

  8. Mark I am holding a Galaxy Note 7 in my hand. I think the new unused one is too along with the broken one.

    That is why I need to go see them maybe tonight. There is an office here in town.

  9. When I’m at home, my phone is either in my pocket or on its charger when I’m not using it. I have a dashboard mount in the car, so that I can use it as a GPS, and a charging cord because that app uses a lot of power. Away from home, it’s either in my pocket or in use. I never, ever put it down anyplace else.

  10. Jackie, yours can’t be Note 7’s because they just released them in the last 3 weeks. You’ve had yours longer than that. The Note has a little stylus you can write on the screen with, hence the name.

  11. Tom: thanks for the oldie but goodie!

    I don’t know if it’s as bad everywhere else, but in central Florida the political ads are starting to make me happy to see car ads. (Well, maybe not that guy in Melbourne that yells a lot.) By the end of next month I might even be able to tolerate the obnoxious prescription drug ads.

  12. J.J.

    I assume your Galaxy is an Android phone. I don’t remember Samsung doing any Windows models.

    To locate your phone easily even if you have it on “vibrate”, go to Google Search and type, “Find my phone”.

    If possible it will locate your phone to within a couple of meters and pinpoint it on a map. You’ll have the option of ringing your phone that will cause it to ring at maximum volume.

    If the phone is totally lost, stolen or otherwise exposed and cannot be retrieved, you can lock the phone and/or erase all the data on it.

    I’m sure the IPhone has a similar utility but I’ll never know. I’m sticking with Android.

  13. JJ, i do enjoy those rare times when you show us a strip from before the 1994 strips, the earliest ones on GoComics. When you have time, I hope you will continue to do that occasionally.

  14. Tom, thanks for that goldie oldie. And the cat’s tail wags! JJ, why not surprise us with that some day? Is that possible? Why does no one make a small truck anymore? If you don’t make it, everyone will have to buy one with a bigger profit.

  15. I have my grandmother’s recipe for lemon icebox pie. All-female staff will fight over last piece. If I were that kind of guy, I could probably use the pie to troll for sexual favors. But I’m not.

    Going to visit my godson next week. I have my sister’s pumpkin bisque recipe, and that’s his favorite thing I fix. I’ll carry him some.

  16. Soggy lemon icebox pie would work for me. Firm would be even better.

    Lord help me, I put a can of Diet Coke in freezer in kitchen to get it to proper cold fast. I bet I have frozen it solid. I have a small dog asleep on my thigh because the thigh has new soft fleecy pajamas on leg.

    It is already in 40s up here and they have had frost. I am having to supplement that Texas beach wardrobe with a few warmer things.

  17. Good morning Villagers…

    Mark, love the T-shirt, I see a lot of yolk in my days. And I have to be really hungry now to eat an egg. Ian fried hamburgers the other night with an egg on them, not too bad….but I was hungry too.

    Jerry, I too noticed Ludwig’s tail twitching…I first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me this early in the morning.

    Gal, I do too…I wonder how his concert hall is doing.

    …Jackie, you are starting to make me think of you as “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiago”…it use to run on PBS, Ian always watched it,

    Happy payday to us all 🙂

  18. Debbe, Symply is getting out of that business. Too much competition these days. Tomorrow night is their farewell concert. But he said he had had a good time doing it, anyway.

  19. Mark: thanks for sharing the update from Symply. Like you I’m sorry things didn’t work out long term but hope we’ll see more of him here.

  20. Found the lyrics to the song Lemon Pie. An English group from 1970s. Noticed it was from their album Ghost.

    Decided I didn’t want any more subliminal messages from songs. I am still getting those random blues songs sent to me.

    Group that sang lemon pie is not called lemon pie, song is. I checked Google and more songs have been written and sung about pie than any other subject, even sex. However, pie often substitutes for sex. I can understand that. Do that myself.

    Do not amuse me with accounts of licking pie off someone’s body, I have already heard it, just never done it.

  21. Here’s a song for all of us here in the Village who have ever loved someone in the past who lived on in memories. Sung by a group from my past, Dr. Hook, who few remember for their poignant sad songs or love songs. Bet Shel Silverstone wrote this one.

    Memories are best left as memories. https://youtu.be/6KfI4R99OAk

  22. Back to cell phone cases for a moment. When I bought my Moto E I also bout the best Otterbox for it at the same time. I love the no slip grip of it. At the same time I bought my better half a phone and bought the 2nd best Otterbox. 3 years and still going strong on both phones. Ruth Anne I may get that t-shirt, my better half loves it and thinks that applies to me.

  23. Symply amazing you guys are prophets, and here I am…Mark In TTown? reminded me I had not been doing my proper share of lurking in quite a while.

    Yes tomorrow is our last show…tapped out to the limit I set in 3 years…plenty of seats left(on me if you good villagers can make it. Just get in touch somehow, there are folks here who know how; JJ for one!) Tomorrow 8PM at the Hanover Theatre in Worcester MA….

    Oh yeah what is the Fargone show I am losing my shirt on? Here is a link, I know a bunch of you would be there if you could.


    Me? I am well; up and about(as Mark’s picture will attest), screaming up on 60 and I thank you for those of you who thought of me in my absence. I hope you are all well……

  24. Ursen: Give the credit to Symply Forgone – all I did was google it 🙂 There are multiple sources and variations in appearance and price, so you might want to shop around.

  25. Ruth Anne,

    Yes, Gayle was not with me that day, hence the tshirt

    Today’s says “I Am The Reason We Can’t Have Nice Things” and tomorrow for the concert it will be “When I Was A Kid, No Wait I Still Do That”
    Symply have to wear clothes that say something about you….Gayle won’t let me get the John Lee Hooker shirt I’ve been seeing says I have too many Fargone tshirts! The nerve!!!!!

    Have an awesome day!

  26. Hey, I just saw a tee shirt that says “I used to be Snow White but I strayed”

    Didn’t buy it but I laughed. Bought the cap that says Idaho on a bed of broken asphalt.

  27. “However, pie often substitutes for sex.” Always wondered from whence came the expression “pie hole”. 😉

    Jackie, Bullet said to say “hello” to Trigger.

  28. Jerry in FL, yes Shel was a poet, author and cartoonist. And being a poet isn’t far from being able to write song lyrics, as he proved.

    Hi, Symply. Glad to see you in these parts again. When I saw you on the FB page I just had to invite you back. And that photo of you and the motorcycle is great. Nice color that can’t be missed by other drivers, I hope.

  29. Jerry, yes Shel was an author including children’s books, a popular cartoonist for Playboy and wrote a lot of songs, including most that Dr. Hook recorded. Hal hinges everything he feels like it. See, he put hinges there, nor me. Sometimes he changes multiple words.

    So you bought Bullet. Trigger says heigh or hay.
    Bullet was the dog of course, not the horse. It was Trigger, Buttermilk and Bullet. The jeep was Nellie Belle. Why does all this stuff stay in your mind when you can’t remember the people you dated or asked you to marry them?

    All immaterial, they are all deceased or too old now. I had a tremendous crush on Roy in second grade. By fourth I had outgrown him since I didn’t attend third but skipped.

  30. ‘Why does all this stuff stay in your mind when you can’t remember the people you dated or asked you to marry them?’

    I can remember all the people [=few girls] I dated, and nobody asked me to marry them, though it was pretty clear we were heading toward marriage. She insisted I propose, and I did, and she said yes, then we bought the least expensive [diamond chip] engagement ring and wedding band we could find. You’ve heard the rest of the story before. One of a bunch of best decisions I ever made.

    Some women, mostly at church, have made their interest clear, and I’ve gently steered them away. Maybe I should feel flattered. Whoopee fizz.


  31. emb, I am afraid my dance cards were always filled along with my bed. I get more embarrassed not to remember. I have steered all but one away since Mike died and that one while potentially compatible turned out badly.

    My youngest daughter was always surprised how many,remembered me with vivid memories, while I had never mentioned most. As I said, I met Mike and fell in love, became monogamous. I am like that. I certainly wasn’t before.

  32. That is funny but I love Dave Barry. I would subscribe e to paper again if he and JJ were in it.

    Dickens and I have a lovely two room suite, even nicer than last night. Two tvs, separate living room, may have two baths, haven’t looked, nice bar and kitchen area. I haven’t dragged in clothes and I think Dickens was barking at someone using my cart.

    In Butte, Montana tonight. Haven’t hit an elk but saw a field full of deer or anteloupe.

  33. Jackie: Bullet is Tuxedo Black Metallic. Leather seats are Stone (light gray), not a bad option for summertime in the Deep South.

    Early impression: I love it.

  34. GM Debbe
    Going to jump ahead for this

    Your post on 22 Sep 2016 at 4:26 am #

    Check the ground on the fuel pump – replaced the pump on my old
    pick up only to find it was the ground . Run a wire from bare spot on
    tank to bare spot on frame.

    Now back to my regular catching up.

  35. Sounds like a classy ride for a classy man, Ghost. I bet I would have enjoyed selling you a car. Most of my customers were men and they treated me with courtesy and respect. Unless I insulted their trade, then they got their feelings hurt.

    Actually if any one who looked like you had shown up at our dealership I could have done a sprint in three inch heels and a short skirt.

  36. I remember one summer Saturday from the past when I rode my bike 300 miles roundtrip just to lunch eat at a particular BBQ joint. That version of “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before” was playing on the juke box while I was ordering my Q. Good times.

  37. I almost got sidetracked from the Explorer, momentarily at least, by something in the dealer’s showroom. (No, not a sprinting saleslady in 3-inch heels and a short skirt. Be still, my beating heart.) It was a 2016 black-on-black-on black Shelby Cobra GT350 Mustang. But I immediately realized that would be in my ballpark only if I could get $30,000 for my trade-in and sadly walked away.

  38. The right sprinting big haired blonde might have offered a good deal on your trade but normally I had to insult customers on their trades. How many buttons were left unbottoned on some outfits often depended on how insulting I was. DID I mention I sold around 20 units a month of Lincoln Mercury?

    Loved selling cars because I love cars. Fact I was a one and only at time made me like a talking dog.

  39. So post a photo of what you bought. This gets into range of what I consider car porn. So does Trigger my truck which gets lots of admiring drools. Trigger is also Willies guitar.

  40. Here is the version of Funny How Time Slips Away that was a huge pop hit. The singer Jimmy Eldredge used to play at a club I danced at in those days, the same club that booked Willie Nelson when ge was straight and looked like a chipmunk with a mouth full of acorns. Willie pretty much bombed.


  41. Good morning Villagers….

    Hello, Simply Fargone, good to see you back in the Village.

    Old Bear, thank you for the ‘hint’, will have to check that out, maybe tonight….if I can get someone to do that for me.

    Ian’s off today and I am off tomorrow…we’re both working with ‘Skittles’….and they are stirring the pit and pumping it out and the hills of Southern Martin County, IN will smell like…..

    gotta go, have to repair a belt before it splits on me…and it’s a bottom belt. Saw it yesterday and told myself….’fix’ it, so I’m going to cut and splice it.

    Happy Caturday…..

  42. Jackie, I once knew a lady who claimed to have dated Nerd Willie when no one outside of the Houston C&W beer bar/club scene had ever heard of him. There was some evidence that was true. You may have seen or known her.

  43. Smigz/Llee: How could I resist giving a pie recipe to two sweet ladies such as yourselves? I’ll dig it out.

    In the meanwhile, even though it’s not quite that kind of weather yet, here’s my sister’s Pumpkin Bisque recipe.

    A Recipe from Ghost’s Kitchen

    Pumpkin Bisque

    4 Tbsp (½ stick) butter or margarine
    1 cup finely chopped sweet onion
    ½ tsp ground dried sage
    ½ tsp turmeric
    ¼ tsp salt
    ¼ tsp ground black pepper
    1 Tbsp cider vinegar
    1 (15-oz.) can solid-packed pumpkin puree
    5 cups low-fat chicken broth
    ½ cup heavy cream
    ½ cup thinly sliced green onion

    Melt butter over medium heat in a large Dutch oven or heavy saucepan. Add chopped onion and cook until golden brown, stirring occasionally. Stir in sage, turmeric, salt, pepper and vinegar; cook for 1 minute. Stir in pumpkin and add broth; bring to a slow boil. Reduce heat and simmer (uncovered) for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in cream and green onion. Adjust seasoning to taste with additional salt and pepper, if desired. Continue to simmer bisque for an additional 5 minutes over moderate heat. Serve warm. Yields 4 generous servings or serves 6 as a first course.

    Recipe Note: Bisque is best if prepared ahead (1 to 2 days before serving). Cool completely, uncovered, then refrigerate in a covered container. Warm gently over moderate heat before serving. Freezes beautifully.

  44. Ummh hmmmh car porn indeed. My favorite kind. Black was always my favorite. I lusted for the black on black metallic Mark 8. Sold a few, couldn’t afford one then.

  45. Thanks Ghost! This is a good tide-you-over recipe. I just happen to have most of this in the kitchen….and the farmer’s market is on the Square this morning for the onions. I may end up cooking today after all 🙂

    And nice truck!

  46. Saw Willie in Monroe, LA in a night club back between 1961 to 1963 in his clean cut nerd crooner days looked exactly like this except I remember hair as shorter. These were days when many people who could actually sing had recorded his songs and had big hits. Not Willie.

    When Willie made it to Houston in my memories it was mid 70s to 80s and he hung around the ice houses and Mamacitas down in Clear Lake. Unfortunately I was a respectable semi-socialite by then and missed it mostly.

  47. It is 41 outside, I just checked, and low of 27 tonight. I do not have a wardrobe for this along. I am layering! Dickens has a sweater I need to put on him. I need to get going. My sleeping habits are what put me on empty interstates last night with elk warnings. It is the mating season apparently and they cross the roads like the proverbial chickens.

  48. Things you learn from the Village. Who knew Charles Kuralt had two families? Well, three if you count first wife and two daughters. When he died he had a second family here in Montana for over 30 years with three children he raised but not his, by her first marriage.

    This story was attached to the Dave Barry column that Ruth Anne posted. I happen to be near where his Montana home was, is. Gives new meaning to On the Road.

  49. eMb: “anteloupe” = “before [the era of] specialized viewing lenses” as used in such a sentence:

    “I wore plain glasses in my anteloupe years.”

    Oh, well, it is a slow day….

  50. My favorite bad boys during their outlaw days. But Willie and Johnny never ever appealed to me. Now Waylon and Kris I’d have left Mike for. But loved their music. Kris wrote the best and Waylon sang it better. And they were music porn.

    It is chilly outside, leaves have changed colors up here and I need to get in my six hours up here heading home.

  51. I have a small duffel bag I carried in the trunk of the Crown Vic at all times, containing two shirts and two pairs of pants (one cold weather, one warm weather), a light water repellent jacket, one heavy jacket with hood,four sets of underwear and socks, a pair of walking shoes, a shemagh and two ball caps. That has come in handy on more than one occasion. Not sure where trunkless Bullet will carry it, but I will find a place.

  52. Still not sure why chickens cross roads (except possibly to show armadillos it can be done), but if it’s mating season, I have a pretty good idea why elk do.

  53. OK. The new HDMI cable I ordered has arrived via USPS. Now to see if I’m still bright enough to hook up a big screen TV to a cable box, an audio tuner and set of big speakers. I may get to watch a college game this peeyem, football being the only thing I’ve really missed since current BSTV gave up the ghost. LSU-Auburn, anyone?

  54. I used to watch football games once upon a year which consisted of me napping naked in bed while Mike watched game. Gave him entertainment at halftime.needless to say he didn’t have beer drinking buddies to watch with him.

    Don’t want anyone to think I don’t occasionally listen to football in past.

    Kenny Stabler lived down street from me and occasionally the then Oilers would be around but they didn’t do much exciting so I never became a fan. Mike was so I could be a party, sort of. In my single days I went togames

  55. Much better than having a Village Idiot. 🙂

    What time is it? I started sneezing after lunch, took a dangerous narcotic Benadryl™ dope tablet, and just woke up. Alas, Television Set Installation Brownies did not come while I was visiting the Land of Morpheus.

  56. Finally saw some antelope close enough to road to identify definitely. Have been skirting Yellowstone all day and driving along the Yellowstone River. Yesterday I thought I was seeing strange markers or stumps in rivers until I got close enough to see they were fly fishermen.
    In waders out in mid streamorning.

    Aspen and other yellow plants and trees spilling down mountains and streams, saw huge stick nest, probably eagle but perhaps osprey. I love driving this country.

    Learned that Charles Kuralt was inspired by Steinbeck and his book Travels With Charlie and that was original name for On the Road television show.

  57. Today was my friend’s funeral. Hit harder than I expected for sure. She had a hard life, but kept the most upbeat attitude. Her pastor recounted how he told her one day he and her Sunday school class would understand if she didn’t come to church because the pain was too bad. Her response was simply, “I’ll be in the same pain here or at home, so I might as well come.” She once took her brother, daughter, and granddaughter, all mentally-handicapped, on a road trip to Florida for vaction. All three are a handful on their own. I told her she was a brave woman. She was honestly surprised by my comment. And I quote: “I have no reason to complain, so many people out there have it so much worse. I’m leaving for vacation!” She grew up dirt poor, was beaten constantly by her first husband, had a daughter murdered, and STILL stayed positive and never knew a stranger. She was an amazing woman. She is a big reason I always say I’m living the dream – if she could walk through hell and keep a smile, I have no reason not to get through a few bad days. She was a saint.

  58. Mindy my love you are blessed because you recognize the true angels and Saints who walk among us ordinary people. They don’t have to be Canonized to be real.

  59. I have not been on the internet very much. Trying to save data. Made the mistake of signing up with Verizon for ISP. BIG MISTAKE! Am getting out of contract… For a price. Will contact a local company Monday. Hopefully will be able to get service that will not send me to the poor house!

  60. Lady Mindy, may your friend find the peace that was apparently in short supply during her life. But it sounds as though she made her own joy while she was here.

  61. I am right near the Battle of Little Big Horn but also site of tragic event in Native American history with killing of women and children. History is always twisted. This is lonely huge space that goes on forever, Montana and Wyoming are obviously oil based but shut down. This is what shut down and boom ended looks like.

    Rainy so I got off road early. Nice family run motel, decor better than most. Good pen and inks of Buffalo and antelope, large photo of rock ledge and Yellowstone River over my bed. Looked at second bed and it is legs and cowboy boots, spurs from knees down sitting on fence, mud and dirt. Sorry, someone had a quirky Urban Cowboy decorating streak there.

    Sheridan is nearest sizable town. Not sure where I am but there’s a Dairy Queen next door.

  62. I am in Hardin, Montana. Had to look on phone. For first time on trip I feel overwhelmingly lonely. No one but you have any idea where I am or cares. Well, Dickens does but he is trying to arrange duvet a bit more comfortably and is four inches from my hip.

  63. I know exactly where Hardin is! I stopped at the Broadway Flying J there many times… Are you at the Rodeway Inn? It’s amazing that such a tiny town can support a McDonald’s, a Dairy Queen, a Subway, and a Pizza Hut. Maybe everyone eats out 2 – 3 times a day?

    As for me, I’ve had a lousy week. Woke up Wednesday with swelling of an upper eyelid. Turns out it was a chalazion which, in turn, caused several eyelashes to develop folliculitis. It’s responding well to the warm compresses and I’m on augmentin to keep everything under control… but I still look like I lost a fight with a stinging insect.

    Then, today, finally feeling good, I went to the city rec center and worked out a bit. On my way home had a near head-on collision with a young idiot. He was texting at a light in the left-turn lane and, seeing a break in the traffic in his peripheral vision, turned right into my path. I was doing the limit (25 mph) and had no time to stop or to avoid him. So, both his 2008 Mustang GT ragtop and my 2001 Grand Am are history. I thank God that there was a pedestrian waiting to cross the street who ran up to the first cop there, pointed at the fool, and announced, “He was texting!”

    Neither of us had airbags deploy, and I’m glad. I really don’t want to find out what a bag would do to my glasses! My only injury, besides my peace of mind, is a bruised rib or two from the steering wheel (yes, I had the seat belt and shoulder harness on).

  64. Jackie, you should take pictures of that room for FB and we could then put them here too. And remember, your workers back in OK care about you too, even if they don’t know where you are. Keep your spirits up and know there are people who care about you, wherever you are.

  65. Actually, Jackie, probably several dozen people know where you are, and by morning it may be several hundred. On the other hand, no one knows where I am. Not counting the NSA, of course.

    Only got done about half of what I planned today. I did finally got to go through the storage box of my mom’s belongings I picked up at the nursing center the afternoon of the day she died. My plans are to visit my ailing out-of-town friend (who was also one of my mom’s best friends) next week, and I picked out and laundered some of my mom’s clothing items she might be able to use.

    Feeling crummy. If I weren’t afraid to jinx myself, I’d observe that I feel about the same as I did when I started coming down with the crud five weeks ago today. I’m no angel, but I really don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve that again.

  66. Yesterday, I learned how to set Bullet’s cruise control and sync my phone to his audio system. Today I learned how to turn on his radio. At this rate, I should have all systems mastered sometime in early 2018.

  67. Ghost, great song. Mindy, well said and my sympathies. Trucker, that reminds me of when the guy asked me if he ran the light and I said, “Well, you hit the third car crossing the intersection.” I turned to the cop and told him he might want to do a breathalyzer.

  68. Ghost do you want to go through life with just the NSA knowing where you are?

    In the movies that always seemed so sad when the hero cou,d never be found and had to run if he wer

    I bet Bullet has the rear view camera like Trigger does and the same e gps. The camera works but I don’t have gps synced after nine months. When you figure it out will you do all my systems?

    _My truck is smarter than my phone.

  69. Trucker glad you are ok. When airbag went off it broke daughters a r m and ribs, not wreck. Sorry about your lost vehicle. Yes, I am right near Flying J. Tony who is trying to retire says I am only civilian he knows that acts .Ike a trucker. I was so depressed I ate a chocolate dipped chocolate cone and had another one for desert. Dairy Queen

  70. Wife had a minor-looking one car accident that totaled our old Corolla. The airbag did go off, with one odd consequence: she lost hearing for a short bunch of frequencies in her upper hearing range, both ears, the frequencies of the explosion in the enclosed air of the car. Lesson: if you’re going to have an accident, lower a window a bit to avoid the sudden increase in pressure. Peace,

  71. Jerry,

    Had my future wife been in a convertible when she and a good friend of mine [he was driving] had a flip-over accident in summer ’49 or ’50, there’d have been no wedding. I’ve been leery of convertibles ever since.

    He, sadly, is now in the grip of Alzheimer’s.


  72. Love the “anteloupe” comments, folks!

    Thank you in the present for the soup recipe, Ghost, and in advance for the icebox pie. I have an acorn squash sitting on the counter that I will try substituting for the pumpkin. On your persistent health crud: you’ve been through hell these last few years and your body is letting you know that it’s finally safe to be less than super-human. I think your friend will find comfort in your sharing your Mom’s things with her.

    Hugs and more hugs, Mindy. She sounds like one of the best.

    Jackie, I know there are others who care, too. Let them know where you are at least once a day!

    TruckerRon, thank God you’re all right. I will think of you when I’m tempted to sneak a peek at an incoming text while at a light. I’m used to driving alone and find even talking on hands-free speaker while driving a distraction; I just won’t do it.

    Jerry, I live up north from whence the snowbirds migrate. Convertibles are practical here only part of the year (aren’t they cold in winter even with the top up?), but they sure do look like fun.

  73. Thanks for the empathy! 🙂

    It’s tempting to say that dealing with the insurance companies will be harder than going through the wreck, but that’s not true. I’ll take frustration with bureaucracies over that moment of terror and the hours of shock… and so far the two companies’ representatives have been professional and empathetic. Having the other driver be cited probably helped with that. And while the other guy’s company didn’t come right out and say so, it sounded like my contact with them 5 hours after the incident was the first they had had.

    One thing that helped my sanity was the deputy sheriff asking, based on my last name, if I was related to “Gunny” — Yep, he’s a second or third cousin. I’d met Carlos just once at a funeral when I was about 5 years old. He was the only “adult” (I think he was 16 or 17) who came outside to watch over us little kids who would actually relate to us. I remember him pushing me on a swing and talking about going to become a Marine when he was old enough.

    The DS was happy for the meeting, he’d been a sniper for 6 1/2 years and had also served in Corps.

  74. Thanks, Smigz dear. (Remind me to ask about that screen name sometime.) No, I don’t like to admit I’m not Superman, but I realize even he had his Kryptonite.

    I vaguely remember coughing a lot last night after I went to bed, but never being awake enough to get up and take any cough syrup. (Thanks, dangerous narcotic Benadryl dope pills!) However, the congestion is better this morning and at least the cough is no worse. Seems as though it may be a seasonal allergy attack, which I used to have pretty regularly, but not in recent years. Hopefully I won’t continue to feel this crummy, since I’ve got places to go and people to see this week. And hopefully the beach bunnies have left (boo!) and the snowbirds have not arrived yet (yay!), lessening the chances of Bullet and me getting run into.

    Happy you are OK, TR. On the bright side, we all got a good story about your cousin out of it. 🙂

  75. Smigz

    My convertible is warm in the winter even in Chicago weather or I wouldn’t have kept it these several years.


    The creeping crud must be making the rounds. Been down with it all week end.

  76. Dickens and I are awake. It was a restless night, he doesn’t like traffic in halls. I wish benadryl kept me asleep and it doesn’t do much for allergies either. I began taking it at age 8 about time they invented it.

    I suspect the hay industry up here affects my allergies but could be all the trees. Lots of pine types.

    Looked out window for deer or antelopes. Disappointed.

  77. Yes, Jackie, Bullet has the backup camera (maneuvering a pickup or SUV without one would be problematic, in my estimation), but no GPS navigation feature. That was as I desired, as I am already used to navigating with the Map feature of my smart phone, and the additional cost of the SUV-borne version would have not been worth it to me.

    But yes, I have programmed the GPS on a friend’s vehicle, and it’s not that hard. None of the features I’ve joked about that came with Bullet are that difficult to master, it’s just that there so #@&*ing many of them. The Owner’s Manual is 595 frickin’ pages, for crying out loud. (Granted, about half of them seem to have been written by Ford’s Legal Department.) So, yes, I’ll be happy to program yours for you. And I work cheap. Does a big plate of Country Fried Steak sound fair?

  78. Absolutely fair. Breakfast, lunch or dinner or all three? Oklahoma considers it suitable for all meals.

    When I sold Lincolns we had to program everything for our customers. I kept explaining that voice recognition had to be their voice, not mine, or it wouldn’t work. That Ford pickup owners manual is so complex and so detailed I kept remembering this because the salesman just dropped off truck in front yard and left.

  79. Having been born in and lived most of my life(except for military and my Auburn years) in Baton Rouge, I knew what the next 365 days would be like for me after LSU had apparently won the game 19 -15 on the final play, so, I immediately turned the TV off and went to have a drink. My son called a couple of minutes later and, while I didn’t really feel like talking, I answered and he said, “Did you have a heart attack?” I answered, “No, I’m just disappointed” He asked me why I was disappointed and then told me that the play was reversed. I couldn’t believe it and I had to go back and rewind my DVR to see the UNBELIEVABLE ending. At least I will have peace and quiet for a year. Praise the Lord for small favors and long live the replay crew!

    WAR EAGLE !!!
    GO BIG BLUE !!!

    God bless us every one. God bless the USA.

  80. And, in Oklahoma, a between-meals snack, too, I’ll bet.

    Ah, yes, voice recognition. Part of the future I was promised as a teen reading science fiction novels. Still waiting for my flying car (or SUV), though.

    Jackie, if you’ve ever mentioned how you ended up in OK, I don’t recall reading it. But it just occurred to me that you live not too far from the geographic center of CONUS. For someone who travels as much as you do, was that planning or merely fortuitous?

  81. domaucan1, it was you I was thinking of when I mentioned the LSU-Auburn game yesterday.

    I did mention that, didn’t I, or is it just the cough syrup making me think so?

  82. Hognose, in reference to a Hellenic Army Aviation crew managing to splash their Apache helicopter into the Adriatic during a training maneuver (they survived): “Remember, pilots: you can never beat the World Low Flying Record. You can only tie.”

    You know, I’m feeling a bit better. (Thanks, dangerous narcotic Benadryl™ dope pills!) Perhaps I’ll tackle that TV installation, so that I’ll be able to watch some man-child multi-millionaire disrespect our flag and embarrass himself to protest the injustices of a country where it was possible for him to become a man-child multi-millionaire. That would be a good use of my time.

  83. Ghost, I came to Oklahoma after refusing to do so for six months, sitting in Texas. I was given choice of that or divorce. The location was chosen after I said get on Highway 9 and head east until you run into giant Lake.

    Yes, I know the location is convenient and I am almost on top of it. I only like Oklahoma a few months of year and some of best ones are coming up. Fall foliage is beautiful time there, as is spring.

  84. They have foliage in Oklahoma?? 🙂

    TV hooked up. Turned on. Can change channels. Connected to InterWebNet, but I can figure all that out later.

    Nice picture, unfortunately no women’s beach volleyball on that I can find to really check out the video quality. 😉

  85. Found great family owned and run restaurant with five different versions of chicken fried steak on menu. All available for lunch. Sandwich, breakfast with eggs, lunch sized portion, dinner sized portion and steak finger basket. Ranch House Grill.

    I assume dinner portion hung off sides of plate. I had great Rueben sandwich with sweet potato fries and tartar sauce to dip. Why can you get sweet potato fries anywhere in west but not in Oklahoma?

  86. We are right next to Arkansas and share the same mountains and fall foliage.

    Reporting on road food, I am eating a piece of restaurant owners raspberry icebox pie with chocolate crumb crust. She makes all the pies personally. She had caramel pecan, Apple, raspberry cream and oatmeal raisin sour cream.

    Almost ate the last one. I need some lemon or lime icebox pie. I will cook chicken fried steak, red skinned new potatoes mashed and white cream gravy, fresh green beans and home grown tomatoes for a pie.

    Money For Nothing is playing. I had great brunch so I need to hit road.

  87. Ah, a Reuben sandwich…my favorite. I have so enjoyed the sandwiches made with deli meats and cheese from the deli my Friendly Neighborhood Market has recently added, that I just purchased a new Panini press. (I had about worn the one I had slap out, using it as grill rather than a press.) The only problem is the market does not carry any type of rye bread. I talked to the deli manager, who checked and determined they will have it on the shelves soon.

  88. Smigz: ‘. . . and in advance for the icebox pie. I have an acorn squash sitting on the counter that I will try substituting for the pumpkin.’

    Wife regularly made ‘pumpkin’ pie from winter squash. They are more flavorful than pumpkin, and acorn is not the tastiest. May go online to get the names. Have to go there about fall colors, too.


  89. Butternut, buttercup, and Hubbard. We grew one or another, most recently Hubbard, at our old house, up through ’05.

    Fall colors: can only cite one URL / posting.


    shows a map of the geographic range of sassafras trees [Sassafras* albidum], a splendid bright orange fall tree. Native range includes only eastern OK, but some may be planted farther W. N MN is way out of range, but S MI, where I did my graduate work is not.

    *See, you already knew the Latin name of the genus.


  90. Fagus grandifolia [American Beech] you probably didn’t know. Bright yellow fall leaves. Its geographic range is in


    The map also shows its probable range extension from a SE refugium as the last glaciers retreated northward, based on pollen analysis of soils and, perhaps especially, peat bogs. Also, perhaps, aboriginal campsites. One of BSU’s most notable graduates became a Ph.D. ethnobotanist, wrote much on anthropology of Paleoindians of the eastern states based in part on fossil pollen, died too young of scleroderma. She and a roommate lived with us ’68-’70. There will likely be a room in our hospital’s new cancer wing named after her. [5 new words for speelczech; maybe Jackie can teach them to Hal.]


  91. I have now seen thousands of antelope. A friend here says Wyoming has more antelope than any other state. Question for our scientists, they seem to herd, so why are there solitary ones? Outcasts?

    Beautiful sunny day but no trees, just hills and short weeds. And antelope.

  92. So there’s another thing we share Ghost. Rueben is my favorite and go to in deli or diner. And grilled sandwiches but I like cast iron with another weighted on top. Have no idea where my electric grill is but I own one. I wore mine out grilling chicken and pork chops.

  93. Yep, that’s what happened to my Cuisinart Griddler. Going to use this one just as a sammich maker.

    Someone came back from Montana once and gifted me with a bottle opener with a handle made of a section of elk horn. Lest any conservationists assume that some one went out and killed an elk just so I could have a neat bottle opener, I’ll point out that it came with information indicating the manufacturer uses only antlers gathered after the normal shedding process.


  94. Jackie: Pronghorns ‘seem to herd, so why are there solitary ones? Outcasts?’

    I’ve seen pronghorns only a few times, in W ND and farther W on trips. Largest # was about 6, so can say little / herding. However, see Social Behavior and Reproduction at:

    [contains adult language].

    Was a bit surprised to learn that pronghorns [Antilocapridae, Antilocapra americana] are more closely related to giraffes and okapis [Giraffidae] than to bovids [cattle, sheep, goats, true antelopes, muskoxen, etc.] or to cervids [deer]. DNA analysis and such have helped a lot.

    They are the speediest N.A. mammals, probably fast enough to sometimes outrun American cheetahs. Said ‘cheetahs’, now extinct and known only from fragmentary fossils [sorry, no DNA], may well be more closely related to cougars [Puma concolor] than to Old World cheetahs [Acinonyx].

  95. Dickens and I are safely in bed in Cheyenne, Wyoming with my can of Diet Coke icing in the wine bucket of ice and water. Tired of mini-fridges that never get cold enough.

    Sexy bottle opener for your Coke bottles? Now a horned wine opener to go with it would be cool.

    A friend from Puget Sound asked if Dickens was doing his share of driving? I said no, but he was doing more than his share of sleeping. He played with his red dinosaur or lizard and crashed. If you have a Tractor Supply I recommend their dog toys. These were designed for hunting dogs but have survived a 10# terrier.

    Google maps is sending me back through Kansas which is fine.

    Saw three deer late today to go with thousands of antelope. I do believe antelope out number people here.

  96. It’s been awhile, but as I recall it was last used to pop the cap off a bottle of Kirin Ichiban. And the head of the opener pulls out of the handle and becomes a wine opener, one of those that resembles two knife blades of different lengths.

    I once flew commercial to Wichita to pick up a new Cessna and fly it back for a dealer. If anyone ever asks if Kansas is as flat as they say, the answer is, “Why, yes. Yes, it is.” And with the way the property lines are laid out, it looks like a sheet of God’s Graph Paper.

  97. Well darn it, you already have one! I bet you have everything already.

    I loved Ed Bruce. First Taste of Texas or When I Die Just Let Me Go to Texas. He was a favorite. Waltz Across Texas.

    You know I don’t believe I saw any cowboys on this trip. Few bikers but no good looking ones. Not even a decent looking oil field worker. Where have the good looking men gone?

  98. Beats me. Where have all the females in sundresses gone?

    Playing with my new TV before bedtime. (Tomorrow I’m going to buy a broom or something that doesn’t come with a 300+ page operator’s manual for a change.) Ran across Return of the Jedi, right at the scene where Princess Leia got wounded in front of the bunker. I swear that when Han Solo reached down to help her, he grabbed her left boob instead of her upper arm.

  99. Google gave me choice of straight from Cheyenne where I am across Nebraska and south through Kansas and Oklahoma.

    Next choice around Denver and straight across Kansas then south through Kansas and Oklahoma.

    Last choice went across Colorado and Kansas into Oklahoma then across state.


  100. Since you asked, I’d prefer to avoid cities, so would go east into NE, maybe as far as to US 77 or 75, then S. Once you are in OK, you know the area far better than I – I would also try to avoid Ok. City, but you can make your own choices. Wichita is another place I’d rather not drive in/around.

  101. From the Department of Headlines I Didn’t Expect to See: Nude Mike Rowe Sees Drone Outside Bedroom Window, Pulls Shotgun

    And I won’t even get into from whence a nude man would “pull a shotgun”.

  102. Bob in Orland Park, I may have to consider a convertible for my next vehicle. I’m about due a midlife crisis car (after having only practical cars all my life)…maybe a Mustang convertible…in bright yellow with a black top.

    Late summer/early fall allergens are bad this year, I’ve read. That’s mostly ragweed and molds, in spite of the heat and dry summer. I find that for lungfuls of crud, lots of liquids and 3-4 days of Mucinex help me cough it out. Nasty for a few days, then so much better.

    Honey mustard also great with sweet potato fries, Jackie. And I’ve noticed that often with pack or herding animals, the equivalent of human teenaged males are loners.

    Yep, emb, squash is a wonderful thing! One of my favorite flavor combinations is butternut squash and green beans.

    Ghost, that screen name is my nickname. Born into a Polish family, I was really tiny by their reckoning. An uncle said that there wasn’t enough of me to be a Smigielski…just enough to be a Smigz. Usually pronounced as “schmigs” or “schmig-zee,” since my full last name is pronounced “Schmig-yel-skee.”

  103. Hello villagers,

    Thank you to all who noticed I had posted again…Symply overwhelming to be remembered like that…

    Do not know how much I will be around but more in and out than recently as the biz is over….thought you folks might like this pphto that was taken after the concert…the guys knew it might be my last event and called me from the crowd to the stage and took this shot…pretty kewl as I can see Gayle in the crowd too(Good luck findin her, she is in a maroon top with a reddish scarf, the last person between the two spotlights on the right in the front of an opening of the empty seats(why the biz is over).


    From left to right there is:

    Michael Brooks (Fran Cosmo of Boston’s guitarist)
    Chuck D Tilley(Nashville session player and Six Wire drummer)
    Fran Cosmo (singer for Boston)
    John Howard (Nashville session player and Six Wire bassist)
    Randall Hall (Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist and vocalist)
    Kevin Chalfant (singer for Storm, Journey Experience and stand in for Steve Perry for a while)
    Symply Fargone (er ME!)
    Peter Rivera (Lead singer and drummer for Rare Earth)
    Brad Cole (Keyboardist and former music director for Phil Collins)
    Jerry Riggs (Nashville session player and Six Wire lead guitarist)

    It was as interesting as a Rock and Roll show can be! Before the show even started there was a process server at the door trying to serve papers to one of the band(but which one!?!) Nerves were a bit frayed..but it still alll worked out…turns out a friend wanted a band member to testify at a trial and did not call and let him know, just sent someone to serve the papers….end of story lots of relief….after the show I took all the guys out to a local diner for breakfast/dinner depending on what they wanted…it was a great wonderful swan song with some great music and awesome memories…

    Hope I haven’t Fargone bored you good folk!

  104. Symply, thanks for telling us you went out on a high note there. Looks like the band and the crowd was having fun too. And I notice you are wearing the shirt you mentioned earlier. (for the folks who can’t read it, click on the photo and it enlarges). Thanks for sharing.

  105. Ghost you made me go look for that Mike Rowe article and read it. He got the gun out from under his bed. He sleeps naked with a shot gun under his bed. Ok, I may have to buy whichever trashy supermarket public action prints those photos.

    But he had curtains on Windows?

    When I lived in Honolulu and had a body worth a photo I walked across floor to bathroom to see helicopter outside window. Had similar thing happen in Houston. Mega drones back then.

    Time to get up and dress.

  106. Jackie: ‘Where have the good looking men gone?’

    Well, for starters, c x-p and I have both retired. He is still happily married and I’m not on the market.

    Ghost Rider: ‘Beats me. Where have all the females in sundresses gone?’

    They women are still around, but the sundresses, at least around here, are packed away ’til spring ’17. Have to settle for videos of beach volleyball.


  107. I think far too many men both young and old spend too much time in recliners watching television and drinking some beverage of choice. Or in front of computer screens.
    I don’t remember all the guts hanging over pants tops or worse yet, butts hanging out the rear

    Women are even worse perhaps. I think we have become a nation of unfit bodies and I see myself backsliding that way. This has been a lonely trip and lonely people do things like eat badly. That is not a good excuse for me or anyone else.

    I would just like to see a few fit men. Is that asking too much?

    Mike Rowe could do a calendar. I’d buy it and I bet rest of females in Village would as well.

  108. Ruth Anne: I looked at the list with these results:

    Heard of barnburner, but not as a match. Don’t use it.
    Heard of clabber, but not bonnyclabber. No need to use it.
    I believe the word is counterpane, not counterpin. Parents used it; I use bedspread.
    Know and use frog strangler.
    Know, but rarely use, leader.
    Often use pot cheese…though I dislike the stuff.
    Know of whistle pig, but don’t use it.

    Of course, all the above terms probably should be in quotation marks, but I’m not going back to insert same.

  109. Surprised that no one mentioned the passing of Arnold Palmer. I was not a Golf fan and never played the game until college, but I was a faithful soldier in Arnie’s Army. There have been better golfers, but none had the greatness of Arnold as he took a gentleman’s game and made the casual fan want to watch it. Many of those fans took up the game themselves.

    I remarked on Facebook that Arnie was more than lemonade and ice tea. He was more than a sports star, but a celebrity that America trusted. A friend stated that his greatest legacy was the hospital that bears his name. http://www.arnoldpalmerhospital.com/

    At first he and his wife were just looking for a worthwhile charity to support. After it open he challenged the hospital to do even more and that “good would never be good enough.” Another person quoted said that if you asked Arnie, he loved his 92 championships and major golf wins, but none of it compares to saving the life of a child.

    I had several heroes growing up. I found out later that several of them were not quite the people that I would aspire to be. I am proud be have been a member of Arnie’s Army.

  110. Knew several of the words. Don’t use any of them. Tow sack, croker sack- what I say is burlap bag. Popskull-mostly I find this when reading material about the pre-1900’s. Frog/toad strangler. I had read the darning needle name for dragonflies too.

  111. Steve: I wasn’t really surprised to learn of Palmer’s passing – some of our local sportscasters have done stories in recent months that seemed like previews of what everyone is doing now. I suspected that those who had known him for a long time wanted to say how much they appreciated him while he was still around to hear it. Here’s the story from today’s front page: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/sports/golf/os-arnold-palmer-dies-20160925-column.html

    Jackie: yes, we would probably go at least a little out of our way to go to Cabela’s. Used to order lots of stuff from them years ago when we did more camping and before we had more local options.

  112. Smigz: I would definitely recommend the yellow Mustang convertible for you (but not me). This would be more my style in a ‘Stang…exactly like the one I saw on the showroom floor when buying my Explorer, but didn’t have a trade-in worth $30,000.


    Thanks for the info about your name. Oh, and Polish names don’t intimidate me…I graduated from HS with a girl whose surname was Przybyszewski.

  113. I miss you and Loon too. I love clever people with senses of humor.

    Is everyone else glued to TV as I realize there is something dramatic going on. One friend asked where the 3-D glasses were being issued and another posted she was eating him alive. My mind did not process either post correctly as that was all either said.

    I got pizza and Dickens and I are going to take it leaving else in.

  114. I was in a odd mood when I looked at my Facebook requests so I posted one. Go look at it Mark and since she is fully clothed you can copy it here for Ghost.

    The many affluent men requests have vanished and the women started again. I know my appeal is the men on my friends list and usually I see people I actually know on the women’s list if they have a few shown.

  115. I put the caption. Yours is better. I thought we needed something of more appeal The our presidential candidates. Heck even I admired this enterprising young woman.

    Goodnight all you Waltons.

  116. She’s in France actually according to what she sent before I deleted. She wants my friends list. Don’t worry, you’re not on it. You get your own private anonymous off the radar classification. You’ll never be more than Ghostly.

    You know I float like a Mae West, all my life. Why I like to exercise in pool, exercise is easy. And uplifting.
    Truth is I am honest enough to find other women beautiful. My part time housekeeper is one of most stunningly beautiful young women I have ever seen. She is half Native American, half Irish, deep red, long hair, a face like a fairy from the Rings and a voluptuous body she seems unconscious of.

    This is a characteristic few women seem to possess, being able to admire others. I am totally heterosexual and can only think of one compellingly beautiful lesbian I have met lately. Don’t ask why I meet so many gay and lesbian friends, just always have.

  117. Good morning Villagers…..

    Not to worry, GR 😉 .

    Been lurking, not much to add. Clicked on Mark’s link, and those ‘cups of tea’ about knocked me out of this chair 🙂

    Have a blessed Tuesday….

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