“I seafood, I eat it!”


In France, a seafood platter is not unlike this. It’s called plateau fruits de mer, or just fruits de mer, and usually comes on a multi-tiered tower that makes it look like a slimy wedding cake. Needless to say, the best fruits de mer are startlingly fresh. I don’t remember the exact moment I conceived this idea, but I’m pretty sure it was inspired by this French version of a seafood platter. I found a lot to appreciate in my European travels and consider myself a changed and better man for them, but I will admit I prefer our seafood from the Gulf of Mexico. Fried.

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

137 thoughts on ““I seafood, I eat it!””

  1. Debbe 😉 In my experience, receiving $100 tips often involves the female server bending forward facing the customer, or bending over facing away from the customer, while wearing something skimpy. 😉 Not always of course, so just sayin’…I’m not casting any aspersions at you or Janis.

    I have probably mentioned I am a generous tipper. “Quality of service” comes first in my calculation of the amount, but I, like most males, may have sometimes factored in a little extra for “scenery”.

    Terrie the Leggy Housekeeper has not arrived yet, so I will give the outfit report later. Wasn’t there a C&W song something like “I Like My Housekeepers a Little Bit Trashy”?

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  2. I can’t eat shellfish and have never been a great fan of seafood in general, but because of my trips to Japan, I enjoy calamari. However, I agree with Jimmy, I like mine fried. I really enjoy a pan fried perch. As a matter of fact, I like most everything pan fried over deep fried. You still get the crunch, but it feels lighter.

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  3. Steve:

    Presume that means you have a crustacean [shrimp, lobster, crab] allergy, but have no problem w/ clams, mussels, or oysters, which, like calamari [squid] are mollusks. Right?

    Peace,

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  4. GR 😉 that was back when halter tops were the rage with bare midriffs 🙂

    I too miss the fresh shrimp, oysters from the Gulf when I lived in Corpus Christi. When I lived with Ian’s father there in CC, he would love to surf fish in the Gulf. Would bring home some nice size red fish, the ones with the big red dot on the back fin. One would actually get red fish ‘steaks’ from them, also loved the ‘spanish specked bay bass’. Would load the grill and smoke the fillets with fresh fruit and veggies

    Steve, when smaller fish were brought home, they were scaled and gutted. I then soaked them in a little salt water, rinse and drain, made an egg batter which I dipped my fish then I rolled them in corn meal and placed them in an oven temp of 350 degrees until they were flaky, added some garlic lemony butter on them….yum!!! No greasey mess!!

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  5. I once spent over two weeks crawling down east coast from Maryland to Georgia eating seafood three meals a day.

    Granted that isn’t longest crawl possible, a crab might have made it. But I literally ate breakfast, lunch and dinner from ocean.

    My late husband said he expected me to scuttle sideways under a rock.

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  6. Debbe 😉 Yes, halter tops with shorts or a short skirt are normally good for an extra 10% gratuity…as long as no “muffin tops” are involved. 🙂

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  7. Ghost and I are going to Maine to see Symply and for a sailing cruise for the Tall Ship Rendezvous. I am planning to eat lobster three meals per day if possible.

    One thing the Mary Day does is take you out on a barren island and do an authentic lobster boil.

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  8. I don’t know emb. I don’t like the consistency of clams, mussels, or oysters and have never tried them. I was nervous when I had squid, so I only took a small taste at first. When I didn’t swell up, I kept eating them. I have had imitation crap meat which has not caused any issues.

    Debbe, there is nothing like fresh fish. It always tastes good. Oven baked is often good too. I have just never had much grease when I pan fry. The butter is just enough to flavor it. I think I could could pan fry shoe leather in butter and it would be good.

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  9. Terrie the Increasingly-Skimpily-Clad Housekeeper was wearing cut-off jeans which were short but not as short as the shorts she wore last time. However, they were also “low riders”. Black lace panties, if anyone is wondering, or even if you are not. (See “bending over facing away” in my comment above.)

    She was wearing a loose V-necked top today, rather than a tight t-shirt. I’ll have to ask Jackie if one of the bras she gave her is orange and plunging and creates fairly spectacular cleavage. (See “bending forward facing” in my comment above.)

    Update: Jackie says “No”, so Terrie obviously likes fetching lingerie as well.

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  10. Sea food? Not many types of fish, no clams, no lobster, no crab. Yes to all kinds of shrimp, and scallops. Just have had so little really good sea food I always expect the worst. Scared of small bones in fish. Will occasionally give in to Long John Silvers, but really consider it a grease pit. Captain D’s is a little better because of wider choice of breading, and they do a little better on baked fish.

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  11. At salon having pedicure manicure. My manicurist is beautiful mainland Chinese and she is Ghost fan too. I am trying to convince him to get a massage if nothing else. She is so good, does my facials too.

    I am feeling really great and little pain. I get off walker next week probably. Go to cane.

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  12. emb… I have the crustacean allergy. Fish and mollusks are fine. I have never done any research but I have wondered if there is any connection between the allergy and the sex of a person (Ghost, get your mind out of the gutter!). Several female members of my close extended family have the allergy but none of the males. Odd….

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  13. Gal, sex and seafood have always gone together well for me. 😉 And yes, “amen” to seafood from the Gulf of Mexico. Fried. Except shrimp, which I, slightly, prefer boiled.

    Sushi may not be as popular overall in the Village as it is with me. So I will symply tell you the fargone story about the man who walked into a pet store and ate $1200 worth of tropical fish before he realized it was not a sushi buffet.

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  14. Will reserve comment on sex and A&J blog, but following through on some URLs has been interesting.

    A colleague of the female persuasion* has severe crustacean allergy, has no trouble w/ true vertebrate fish [which, BTW, ‘krab’ is], and won’t try mollusk / fear some chemical affinities to arthropods might trigger the allergy. [Crustacea is a class w/in phylum Arthropoda; you’d think speelczech would know two such diverse invert taxa].

    *My esteemed and more than attractive successor, and principal flute in the BSO. To my knowledge, she’s had it forever, and pretty sure not to try it when she ages. One can live w/o shrimp and oysters, though I’m glad I don’t have to.

    Peace,

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  15. Since one of Jimmys main themes in Arlo and Janis is sex between his two main characters why is it only Ghost and I seem to enjoy it or acknowledge it?

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  16. Speaking of sex, Terrie the Orange Brassiered Housekeeper helped me arrange and organize Jackie’s refrigerator this morning. I now know where everything is, and I do not have to remove half its contents to retrieve something. I literally could not be more pleased if she had performed an exotic sex act on me.

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  17. Jackie: ‘… why is it only Ghost and I …’ Haven’t others of us roundly applauded the sex JJ gets away with? E.g., the apparently regular morning routine A&J have of reminding each other of their dalliance the night before. JJ is master of sexual innuendo. Ages back, there was a strip where either he, or a boat salesman, says this boat is the second most beautiful thing in the world, and [if I remember] a balloon from Arlo’s head w/ a 3/4 back view of nude Janis from just above the butt up, perhaps w/ a curve of breast as well. Many of us love that stuff, and many miss it, but revel in others’ enjoyment.

    Peace,

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  18. TruckerRon, that’s cute. I don’t think I’ve looked at that comic in a while. I’ll have to try it a few more times. I recognized the art, but had to look up Hilburn, to find out it is the Argyle Sweater. I don’t remember why it fell out of my rotation.

    Am I working to hard if I am trying to decide that the trombone is actually female, trying in vain to get banjo-boy to see a more mature theme. In hopes of a livelier combo set later? Dixie-rag was never so exciting. Hope she has a chance to feel the tension in those strings.

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  19. Wrote too soon. Went to view today’s offering. The ball-and-chain gag falls flat for me, and I think there were several of those that reached for Gary Larson brilliance, but just couldn’t quite make it. Oh well, throw it in the braincase somewhere for future use.

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  20. Speaking of fresh, I once read that chefs in Japan barely cooked some fish dishes, so much so that the fish was still attempting to breathe. When the diners saw it, they exclaimed, “See how fresh the fish is!”

    Sushi might be raw, but at least it’s dead.

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  21. Debbe
    Let me know from what date to resend.

    Adult Truths:

    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

    13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

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  22. I love the action in the retro strip above! The fish and other creatures are so varied and lively, worth poring over and figuring them all out. Also extremely well done is Janis’ kind of “what the heck” reaction to what’s going on in Arlo’s plate. Not critical but somewhat surprised.

    As for the sex here in the Village, I’d say there is plenty going on, not explicit, but implied. People don’t want to know TOO much about friends and neighbors’ goings on.

    Wow, Jackies’ staple scars sure are decorative! It’s encouraging to read about her exercise therapy. I’m having a hard time sticking to the workout — and I have a Personal Trainer coming to the house two days a week. When Doug is here, the therapy feels good, but when I’m alone I just don’t feel like working out. Go figure!

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  23. Old Bear, Love the #13. Especially because, true to your title there is an aging process. I remember it being so bad you had to remember to breathe. Then learning that if I KNEW I had made no changes from reading or printing only select NO because any change had been a miskey. Then aging to doubt my own ten minute memory. To go wondering if I knew how to look at the change log.

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  24. In Word and a few other programs, having had printed the document causes a repagination process that used to be more obvious when computers were slower. That counts (in Word’s opinion) as a change in the document.

    My short-term memory is good enough still to know whether I made any changes in the past 10 minutes. If I can’t remember making any in that short a time, the changes weren’t worth worrying about.

    Your mileage may vary!

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  25. BTW, tonight was a wonderful night for a backyard telescope, even a low power one (40x) in a light-polluted town. I could clearly see Jupiter with 2 of its Galilean moons. Saturn was visibly distended by what Galileo first called ears.

    The half moon was glorious… I saved it until last since my right eye is now shot for night driving. I’m glad my telescope came with a good lunar map with both normal and mirror layouts… my little Newtonian reflector shows everything reversed. I could easily see the larger seas (Mare Tranquilitatis, Seranitatis, Nectaris, and Crisium) and the smallest feature I identified was the Albategnius crater.

    Not bad for a little $95 telescope (plus shipping). Next weekend I hope to make it up to a campground at 8,000 feet with a great night sky, weather willing. The roads should be clear by then.

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  26. BTW, I meant that after viewing the moon with my right eye, my night vision was shot for the next 30 minutes. The secret of telescopes is that they work primarily by concentrating the light collected by the mirror (mine’s a 100 mm diameter) down to the size of your retina (about 32 mm). I definitely will be buying a lunar filter to make the moon easier to handle.

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  27. Ghost Sweetie, not yet, but then there’s been a bit of fuss going on around here. Younger Daughter is soon to present us with our first grandchild (her doctor says it’s a girl. I’ll wait and see.) and Older Daughter has been putting together a baby shower, in which I am in charge of the food, so crocheted blankets, onesies, and menus have been taking up time along with the usual stuff. I really need to move my tush, though, as the knee has been a bit sore lately. 🙁

    I really need to make a trip to either New Orleans or Savannah. I am having a severe seafood craving, and need shrimp and fried oysters.

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  28. June 4-7 Battle of Midway

    It has been said if this battle was not so decisive D- Day would not have happened
    June -6th -1944.

    If it had not been won Japan would have gone on to Hawaii & the west coast.
    *********************************************************************
    From a history blog:

    On June 4–7, 1942, American naval and air forces met the Japanese near Midway Atoll in one of the most decisive naval battles of the war. The Battle of Midway would become a turning point in the naval war in the Pacific, as the Japanese losses sustained there proved irreparable.

    https://blog.fold3.com/battle-of-midway-june-4-7-1942/?utm_source=tmih&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=tmih-june-2017

    ****************************************************************************
    One Blog response
    Michael K. Bates
    June 1, 2017 at 8:56 pm
    The Battle that saved America. To the 84 men who gave their lives and changed the tide of battle. The torpedo bombers..

    Carrier YORKTOWN VT-3 Squadron Leader Massey 13 TBD Devastators
    12 planes shot down.. 1 survived
    Carrier ENTERPRISE VT-6 Squadron Leader Lindsey 14 TBD Devastators
    11 planes shot down.. 3 survived
    Carrier HORNET VT-8 Squadron Leader Waldron 15 TBD Devastators
    15 planes shot down..0 survived

    The combined torpedo plane attack on the Japanese carriers drew the Zero aircraft covering their carries down to sea level, thus paving the way for our dive bombers to strike and sink three carries…KAGA, SORYU and AKAGI. All in a matter of minutes. America should build a monument to the 3 squadrons VT-3. VT-6 & VT-8… and their pilots as they saved our country. If we lost the Battle of Midway the Japanese would have landed on Midway and then invaded Hawaii. As a young lad of nearly 2, I most likely would have not made it through Japanese internment… Good Bless these men and Admiral Chester Nimitz.
    ***************************************************************************

    These are the men Memorial Day is about.

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  29. Breakfast in bed supplied by Ghost, cottage cheese, blueberries and raspberries, along with English muffin and iced tea. He is off to pickup my pain meds refill, leaving me with my knee iced down.

    Today I reopen the Chinese laundry. It is rainy and probably no employees will show up to do tile installing or rock work. My big plan is to work on clean clothes and organize my lingerie.

    Turns out the Tasmanian housekeeper is a drawer crammer. Both Ghost and I are a bit more than anal on refrigerators, pantries, kitchens, closets, clothes, bookcases, etc.

    This works out really well, believe it or not.

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  30. Thanks for the reminder of those who flew, knowing they would likely die that day.

    Mine has been a daily reminder of my father Jack Hodgson, who flew daily reconnaissance missions in WWII in a plane loaded with cameras and no guns. His squadron suffered daily losses. He was shot down in Italy by friendly fire nineteen days before I was born.

    I know who Memorial Day honors.

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  31. As a youngster, probably between 5 and 10, I had a tour of the carrier Enterprise during its stop in New York City – Brooklyn Navy Yard?? Even at that early age, I felt absolutely honored to have had that privilege. True, I did not know the details then, but I was aware of the big battle at Midway and of the role played by the Enterprise therein.

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  32. Now to work editing photos and organizing memorabilia from the recent Europe trip. (While watching college playoff baseball and softball and, in another few minutes, Diamondbacks baseball.)

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  33. OK history buffs, add this to your “to read” list: What If? The World’s Foremost Military Historians Imagine What Might Have Been, edited by Robert Cowley. I just finished it – it had been on my list for years. There was a chapter on Midway, of course, but I learned more from some of those on earlier events. A change in the weather or someone getting a better night’s sleep on a given day could easily have made our world entirely different!

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  34. Nancy I would like to single you out as another of our gifted touring and musical Villagers who performs in national and international chorale concerts. You are too modest.

    Nancy is another Facebook friend I love following.

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  35. Llee or Lora Waring is our gifted artist in residence. She does totally unbelievable work, flowers that leap off the paper at you, specializing in colored pencils. Her nasturtiums I own rivals those out in my garden.

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  36. Anal?? Oh, that kind of anal. I keep telling Jackie I just like neatness and organization, so as not to waste valuable time hunting stuff, but I’m not OCD, or as a friend keeps saying, “OC/DC”.

    Yes, Terrie the Lingerie-Drawer-Stuffing Housekeeper may need a bit of disciplining in the finer art of unmentionable handling, but I suspect I can manage to give her that. 😉

    I have been choosing Terrie’s outside-the-bedroom assignments (she’s rearranging Jackie’s bedroom…get your minds out of the gutter) in the order of what p.o.’s me the most in terms of disorder. Pending are the freezer drawer; the small kitchen pantry; the kitchen dish-and-glass shelves; and the large pantry area in the laundry room. A Ghost’s work is apparently never done.

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  37. Got two loads of towels and sheets washed before I pooped out but not folded. If I am OK after dinner I will fold and refill linen shelves and store some. Housekeeper isn’t good on this so Ghost and I will do laundry until he can teach her how.

    Ghost put new Weber grill together to cook hamburgers tonight and we did joint potato salad using new potatoes out of garden, along with corn on cob and tomatoes.

    Resting on clean sheets. Life is good.

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  38. Ghost is frustrated. Cannot find a match or a propane lighter. Off to Dollar General.

    We are prioritizing by what drives him crazy with my help. I have a covered cooking patio built just for that function. It has water and electricity but never wired or plumbed nor set up for use.

    Tomorrow he gets Terrie to help him clean it down bare, decide how he wants it set up and we turn it into an outdoor cooking kitchen.

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  39. I have a kitten! I love with a couple who were my neighbors, and they surprised me with an eight week oldkitten. She is a tricolor. Gray, orange, and white.

    I have a kitten! I live with a couple who used to be my neighbors, and they surprised me with an eight week old kitten. She is a tricolor. Gray, orange,and white. We call her Mia(My-a) .she wasn’t afraid or tried to hide. S will have to get used to dogs. It’s a dog domain around here.

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  40. I forgot to mention she is a stub tailed cat . S he was born that way. Her mother is a stub tail too. I had a cat but Patsy disappeared in March. We never found a trace of her. I really missed having a cat.

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  41. Laura, glad you have a new furry friend with you. They sure add something special where we often don’t think we need any thing more. Hope you share many stories with Mia.

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  42. Laura:

    Tricolor: gray, orange, and white. Sounds like a variation of a tortie [tortoise shell] or calico. Both of them are necessarily female [or abnormal XXY or some such], because torties and calicos have two different pigment genes, one on each of their X chromosomes. Normal males are XY, so can have only one or the other pigment gene. Lots of websites. Can you give us a photo?

    Peace,

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  43. I love Bob tail cats. Anyone want to explain how they happen naturally?

    I have a plethora of orange cats and have since I moved here despite neutering and spaying anything I catch.

    Added a lot of black ones with Marks cats from Alabama and a couple of long haired brown and white. Every body fixed.

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  44. The latest finding reference Jackie’s recently departed and totally unlamented hired help is that they managed to rust stainless steel utensils. Of course, they apparently thought regular gardening tools would not rust even if left outside, on the ground, in the rain, so…

    The saddest thing is that Jackie was really, really good to those people. And they repaid her kindness by cheating her through taking her money for work either done improperly or not done at all, and cost her even more in loss of and damage to her equipment and property. So she did the right thing by cutting them loose.

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  45. Laura from AR. If you have a Facebook account post your pictures there. Then you can copy the address and paste it here. That’s how I’ve been posting my pics and Jackie and LLee’s photos for them.

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  46. I walk three + miles every day and can attest that it does not help you lose weight, but like Janis, realize that I would really be fat if I didn’t walk. Every day for the last 6-7 years, I have walked counter clock wise around our building and in the afternoon a nice lady would walk clockwise around the building. I likened our relationship to a twitter account as we have to spit out what we wanted to say to each other in 140 characters or less. I never did ask her name…came back from Spain and noticed that her car was not in the parking lot and when I walked by her office it was empty. She really helped motivate me to walk if only to know someone else was walking too

    A few years ago a co-worker commented that if he did not know that I was happily married, then a juicy rumor might get started. I laughed and said ” So you think I’m walking for my health?” Strange that this line and the 3 miles were used in today’s strip.

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  47. Bear, I haven’t made it up to Connecticut yet, but for good fried clams I might have to see about that.

    Laura, several of the feral cats that I take care of are stub-tailed. I would think something happened to them, but a few years ago I brought a kitten inside, and her tail is just very short.

    Cats are proof that the world is indeed round. If it were flat they would have pushed everything off by now.

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  48. Rained most of night, often heavy but no storms here. Still dark and rainy I suspect. Just got fed my favorite breakfast, in bed no less, raspberries, blueberries and cottage cheese with a buttered English muffin and iced tea.

    Is this heaven or Oklahoma?

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  49. While awaiting the arrival of Terrie the 74% Naked Housekeeper, I served Jackie breakfast in bed. She seems to be getting used to that. Perhaps I should explain to her that may perhaps last only until she runs out of knees to have replaced. 🙂

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  50. All I know is that in my late 30s and early 40s I went to aerobics classes (cute little 20-something gals included at no extra charge) three days a week and lost down from 260 lbs to 215 with no appreciable change in diet. And that now, walking regularly allows me to not only get up from all but the lowest chairs without making “the old man noise” but without using my arms for assistance. No small feat for an old dude of my advanced years.

    So exercise in general, and walking in particular, seems to be a very good thing for me.

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  51. Jackie, thank you for the kind words! Sorry I don’t check in here more often. I lurk from time to time as well, to try to keep up with the village. It’s a wonderful group of people! Looking forward to being back in Texas for a few weeks (by way of a week in England to see other old sailing friends) for our annual leave. It will be nice to see my daughter again (student at Texas A&M, spent last semester in Orlando in the Disney College Program). Cheers and good night from OZ!

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  52. Ask Ghost, I really do the in bed exercises (as he says, get your minds out of gutters) for legs and arms, stomach and butt. I can swing legs from one side of Queen or king sized beds. I have been doing this for two and half years.

    Anyone can do exercises in bed, no matter how bad your mobility, joints, weight. There are books on subject. When I began I was too heavy and joints and pulmonary insufficiency, cardiac issues. I could not walk and could hardly stand.

    I belong to a wellness center run by one of our big hospitals. They have pools, lots of machines, tracks, classes. I still do my home exercises daily and consider the gym a plus, not base for exercise.

    My physical therapist recommends I get a recumbent bike and I will. Ghost will help me pick one out for house. He is better than I at searching Amazon.

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  53. @Trapper Jean,

    Still Fargone giggling, how true is that crack about the flat earth! Have seen cats that Symply won’t leave a thing on the table….I never had any relationship with a cat until I was 30, never had friends with social cats (though my BF and I did try to give one a bath in a bathtub with 2″ of water and a can of tuna; tuna got eaten cat never got wet, we were soaked………………..and very bloody!) At 30 I had a GF with two cats and the love affair started…now I have friends with antisocial cats(hate people; including them) and the cat not only allows me to pet it but comes when I mri/meow at it to the owners amazement….think I might have been part feline in a past life(oh yeah I don’t believe that mugwump)…

    Had an awesome day yesterday, first grand graduated from HS…such a precious woman…I know she will do great things…managed to get $30k/annum in scholastic scholarships at a $56k/annum school!

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  54. Huge congratulations to your granddaughter, Symply. I hope she does not tire of accolades. It appears her life will have many.

    Jimmy, a slow crawl to realization on your current strip. I thought it was a nice touch to show the shade of great oak giving brief respite to the growing summer humidity as our happy couple share a walk. Echoing a moments pause before our hero puts his foot in it. Then I wondered, how did J.J. get the colorist to cooperate? Started looking closer for shading dots, or other texture, to explain how it worked. Finally remembering that you hold control over all aspects of your Sunday strips. Nice to see the whole package come together in so subtle a way.

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  55. Returned to give respect, for a hand drawn wall as well. To my eye, each brick is unique. If you fooled me, that’s a pretty good algorithm in your software. Bespoke beats off the rack.

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  56. That needs to be an ad for noise-cancelling headphones, right there.

    We can deliver you away from all the mundane chores and hazards of life.
    –Bose, Quiet Comfort Infinity, the last pair you’ll ever need.

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  57. I took Jackie on a big outing to a Walmart this afternoon. Oklahoma ladies sure seem to like their garish tattoos. I saw at least a dozen that looked like freakin’ comic book pages…multi-color tatts on both arms, both shoulders, both legs, and backs. Plus of course what they may have been sporting on what little of their body was clothed. Remind me…how are tattoos supposed to enhance one’s looks?

    I will have to say in Terrie the Country Girl (that’s what it said on her t-shirt) Housekeeper’s favor, she has no visible tattoos…nor not too many places left I haven’t seen due to her skimpy attire to hide any. 😉 And at 5’4”, she weighed in on Jackie’s scales at 119.6 pounds this morning…something that also distinguishes her from many ladies her age in this area.

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  58. Ghost, neither tattoos nor piercings anywhere but ears are an enhancement in my opinion. Glad i did not get tattooed while in the Navy. Come to think of it, there a good many things I’m glad I didn’t get while in the Navy!

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  59. @Ghost,

    Most of the tattoos I’ve seen were not worth looking at. On rare occasion one runs in to something interesting or an interesting story of such. A guest at our house is a born again man but pays much attention to the old testament as well and was proud to show Gayle and myself his Hebrew tattoos of his children’s name. We had asked as we recognized two of the names but were stumped by the third…reason was it was a complete typo, wrong letter…we did not let him know….ethically should we have…I still wonder.

    Symply been offered by a friend who does tats to have any Fargone one I wanted…I opted for none, seems I am too fluid, any thing I thought of in the past I am now glad not to have permanently affixed to myself…of course I have always been thinking about one(currently some version of Escher’s moebius strip)but always glad I declined.

    Thinking of the man with the typo right now, I am going to ask you to send him your best healing vibes/prayers/wishes/special sauce as on Memorial Day weekend he slipped at work and has two fractured vertebrae 3 & 4 and swelling in his 5-7 area….legs almost paralyzed and surgery/titanium inserts tomorrow……

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  60. My cousins son is a tattoo artist. His grandmother, my aunt, told me he made more money than a neurosurgeon. He and his spouse are covered and have piercings and metal everywhere. Bizarre and frightening almost.

    Besides aging, those tattooed gain and lose weight. Thus causes the designs to change and look odd, even if well done. The colors fade. There is absolutely nothing more repulsive than elderly fat women with old, dirty tattoos and missing teeth, wrinkles and dirty hair in tight cutoff jeans and sagging breasts, no bra in a tank top.

    Sorry Morphy for the graphic vision.

    Few people can afford the thousands for good work but what they spent would have served better for dental work or Weight Eatchers.

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  61. Good morning Villagers….

    So happy the local farmers’ market is open….yesterday we had fresh green beans, cauliflower, broccoli and I made turkey meatballs with a little BB sauce….yummy!!! Thank mother nature for leftovers.

    Dad has PT today…and they aren’t going to be happy. His idea of exercise is simply just walking from back door to front door. But he is using the strength in his one arm to push himself up along with him using his legs too. I refuse to help him up the way I use to. Told him if you don’t help me get you up, than you can just sit there..I’m a mean daughter…in a good way.

    Jean and Laura….that was funny about the flat earth, and I thought every day was cat day.

    Still working on a plan to catch these outside, feral cats to get them ‘fixed’. I’ve befriended two of them….calling vet this week to schedule the “fix” on both, one of them is called “Big Daddy” and the other is mother (Blackie) to three kittens and it’s time to wean them…so she will be on the “fix” schedule too.

    Getting warm and humid here in SIN.

    Ya’ll have a blessed day…..

    Reply
  62. Jackie: That was a fine ‘graphic vision’, but I’m glad I have a strong stomach.

    TIP BlogSpot has become the TIP comic this morning:

    http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/

    Delightful; she’s pagan, but IMO, the painting is ‘evidence’ that there is a god. So is the post / the half-full glass. And a male camel, seen from behind, as well as any egesting hippo [standard or pygmy] is evidence of the Creator’s sense of humor.

    And, considering artistic skill, tear your eyes away from her and enjoy the rendering of the mother-of-pearl shell. Let’s not discuss religion here, but maybe acknowledge that theology is fun, and hope that Someone agrees.

    Peace,

    Reply
  63. Good morning. Dickens and I are awake. Birds are too outside Windows. Still grayish light so may rain today..

    They can’t make up their minds. Weather analysts, not the birds.

    Reply
  64. Picked up an expression, can’t remember where. “My, what a vivid mental image that was!” Some make you wish you could send your mind out to the cleaners to get rid of them, don’t they?

    Reply
  65. Debbe,

    My sister uses the Hav-a-hart live traps for the kitties… only a problem is you may also catch raccoons or skunks. She places hers on the porch, on a table. That doesn’t stop raccoons, but so far no skunks.

    Reply
  66. We caught possums too. You are not going to believe what Hal said. We have never caught a skunk.

    For some reason we don’t catch fixed cats either.

    Luckily we are out of feral cats right now. The new housekeeper lives animals and has taken over the chickens and two older big dog
    s. Ghost feeds Dickens and cats, she helps. Next is medicating the pack.

    Reply
  67. I’ve always been fascinated by tattoos, but I never wanted one. The full body coverage looks terrible. Skin is to elastic to hold a permanent picture. It’ll change over timeand not for the better.

    Reply
  68. The most fascinating are those which disappear behind low waistlines. As Elaine said, ‘All men are prancing, leering billygoats.’ Some are just content w/ a looking-only permit. Peace,

    Reply
  69. So I know someone with a full body tattoo of a Kimora dragon that goes from her shoulder down her back, butt and onto her leg. I saw it when she had lost weight and was a tad smaller than I am. It was impressive, in full color. It cost thousands and thousands to tattoo it.

    She gained so much weight she looked like a Christmas inflatable blown up with a butt that was thirty-six inches across, not around. Gasp!!

    Did not see lizard but I wondered? Who wants to look like Frosty the Snowman with a green lizard mounted on you?

    So, now she has had stomach stapled it seems and is gaunt and boney. Does she now look like a Dia de Las Muertos figure from Mexico with a green lizard mounted on a skeletal body?

    Don’t provoke me. I bite.

    Reply
  70. Good thing that full-body tatt was not purple. She’d have appeared to be being molested by Barney in her yard-wide arse days.

    Terrie the Petite Housekeeper reverted to her former attire today, a scrub suit as worn in medical clinics. Washday, perhaps? But of course Ghost is never one to be deterred by excess clothing and is ever observant.

    Pale blue panties and red bra, for anyone who is interested. 😉

    Reply
  71. Shame on you sweetie! Don’t make her quit, she is good worker so far.

    Dickens fell into a sewer line apparently and showed up drenched and muddy, smelly. He has gone off to groomers for a bath and disinfection. He got out of house and escaped.

    One of his favorite games is jumping from one side of large drainage ditch to the other from wall to wall. He is small dog and it is like a mill race, wide and shoulder deep.

    Reply
  72. Ha-ha-ha, chuckling, Jackie I came to comments late today, but had to jump down and applaud your vivid use of descriptive narrative. Each detail leading to a next one. Reader finds themselves several layers into the complete composition before slowing to note the masterpiece. Well turned.

    Reply
  73. And Mark, whiskey works for the mental scrubbing. Stop before forgetting you wanted to forget something. After that comes ‘interventions’.

    Never received one, was asked to partake once. Declined. I thought a short, “you need help, pal,” served better than a big show. He still talks to me.

    Reply
  74. Told before here, I believe, but it’s one of my favorites…

    A business owner was paying invoices while his bookkeeper was on vacation. Math not being his strength, he was puzzling over one that offered a net 10 day, 1.5% discount. Remembering his new secretary had some college accounting hours, he called her into his office.

    “If I paid you $14,000 less one and a half percent, how much would you take off?”

    The young lady thought for just second before replying, “Everything but my earrings.”

    Reply
  75. Symply, I’m sending good thoughts and prayers to your gentleman who had surgery today.

    Debbe, I understand where you’re coming from about your Dad. I had to do that with my Mom, and sometimes I really felt like a rat.

    I have to chuckle about our tattoo discussion. I have pierced ears and sometimes have a hard time choosing which pair of earrings to wear on a given day. Maybe the only thing that has stopped me from getting a tat is not being able to change it! Yet, oddly enough, I would probably wear jeans everyday if I could.

    Reply
  76. I considered getting a tattoo when I was in the Navy, but decided against it. As it happens, it was one that wouldn’t lose its shape or get ugly as the years passed: a dagger thrust through a flap of skin on the outside of a forearm. Can’t really say that I know now why I didn’t get it, but if I had to guess, I didn’t really want it that badly.

    Reply
  77. GM Debbe

    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    Reply
  78. Sometimes we truckers made a point of blocking both lanes when traffic was being squeezed into a single lane for construction to keep jerks from passing us and bringing everything to a halt as they forced their way in. It may not have been legal, but it sped things up.

    When I-40 was being reworked across Arkansas about 12 years ago I was thrilled to see that the highway patrol had warning signs up telling folks to get into a single lane NOW! Those who tried to work their way around everyone and merge at the last moment found themselves being pulled over and given a hefty fine. 🙂

    Reply
  79. It’s not the 2 lane because around here they want you to alternate merge at the last min.
    (Like that is going to happen) the worst is when the offenders make 3 or 4 out of 2.

    Reply
  80. Good morning Villagers….

    PT wore Dad out yesterday morn…so in the afternoon, I took him on a two hour cruise, a two hour cruise 🙂

    Thank you Smigz.

    GR 😉 what is wrong with that helper that she can’t color coordinate her lingerie!!!!!?????

    Busy day…dr appt, lab work, etc……

    gotta go, have to have all ready to leave here by 8:30. Plus I lost my bifocals……arrgghh!!!!

    ya’ll have a blessed day

    Reply
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