The Sound of Mayhem

One of the things a person quickly learns as a beginning cartoonist is that he or she must master onamonapia, a word that replicates a sound, as in the “clink” of glasses. Of course, in the case of cartoonists, we most often are called upon to invent our own words using onamonapia. Using the above cartoon from last November as an example, how does one replicate the extremely arresting—and grating—sound of that horrible horn, the klaxon, which blares repeatedly when the heavy metal doors are about to close and you have 30 seconds to get to the last shelter on earth before the nuclear bombs start raining down, or the sound a game-show contestant hears when giving a disqualifying answer. Well, this was my stab at it. Onamonapia can be fun! Splut. Blop. Plap. Try it at home.
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237 responses to “The Sound of Mayhem”

  1. I thought it was a tribute to Kardashian rear ends? I don’t watch game shows so I thought it was a joke about how often the Kardashian women married and unmarried and handed out rewards.

    I gave you credit for being more outrageous than you were Jimmy.

  2. Still makes me think of Keeping Up With the Kardashians but I have never seen the TV show either nor the quiz shows. I just know what I pass by on the “newspaper” aisles in the grocery store checkout lines.

    The joke of course is that Arlo gave Janis the wrong answer. He was supposed to say “Honey it isn’t big at all.”

    He could have answered “You are right in style, some people require implants.”

  3. “Walt Kelly always had some great mangling of various carols this time of year. I really miss Pogo.” I miss him too, Mark. Now it really IS Chistmas, complete with Boston Charlie. And thanks to Jackie for the YouTube link.

    Jimmy, in our often silly household, we use onomatopoeia to decribe a certain class of meals. Think of serving saucy casseroles, really cheesy macaroni and cheese, and foods of that ilk. They are “splorpable.”

  4. Ironically, just last evening I happened across (as in, no, I wasn’t looking for it) an on-line photo purportedly from a Miss Bum Bum “beauty contest”, featuring three young ladies with not-tiny derrières wearing tiny thong bikinis. Said contest was taking place in…where else…Brazil.

  5. For some reason, I think Jackie might be the winner of this contest: How many Pulitzer Prize winners have you personally known that have had their names on the side of Pogo’s boat?

    My score is just “one”.

  6. Oh how I wish someone wanted to go spend Christmas in a beautiful restored historic mansion that is guaranteeing a white Christmas with me. The resident child is a precocious Lego constructor, has hundreds of trains and tracks, likes to cook and is a good kid.

    Got to send off permissions to Oxford, MISSISSIPPI on Trigger. He has been dumped in an open lot now that other company got their money.

  7. Remember. Your answer must be in the form of a question. It took a second. Good one JJ. We had a major emergency yesterday and last night. Spunky has always been excellent at finding hiding places where I can’t find her. If I call her long enough she will walk into the room like “Take a chill pill. I’m right here.” Last night we realized that we hadn’t seen her since yesterday morning. We started looking, under beds, in closets, in cabinets, you name it. We finally decided that she was definitely not in the house and had definitely slipped out somehow. I went outside and called her and got in my car and drove around the area. I thought that she was gone and I was fighting against the beginning of tears. This morning I was sitting right here and Tippy went over to the closet, put his paw under the door and looked over his shoulder at me with a look like “I need for you to open this door.” Being well-trained I immediately went over and opened the door. Of course between myself and my wife we had looked in the closet at least half a dozen times. Now remember, Elvis can open every door in the house and this closet frequently has a door open. When we lived in our house previously it had sliding glass doors in the bathrooms and Elvis slid the door open, Spunky jumped in and Elvis closed the door. We were out of town a couple of days, but she was ok. Anyway, when I opened the closet door she walked out. There is a filing cabinet (remember those) in that closet and the back of it is toward the wall with just enough space for her to get behind it. That had to be where she was hiding. What a relief!

  8. Jerry, relief indeed. Sounds like Spunky is a direct descendant of Carroll’s Cheshire Cat.

    Mine doesn’t pull of full invisibility, but he must follow behind me and jump to the side when I turn around. If an urge comes to locate him — never really know why; maybe he sends out a Hide-and-Seek vibe? — I can spend fifteen minutes systematically covering the entire house. Only to go sit down and see him staring at me.

    I interpret his gaze to say, “You, OK pal?”

  9. Eating a bowl of red beans sans rice. The rice is brown so I could eat but eating like a soup. Made this without roux so nothing but vegs and beans, ham chunks and low fat turkey chicken sausage.

    I have eaten worse.

    Having fun reading Pogo cartoons and listening to YouTube with Pogo and Pogo songs. Not bad thing to do.

  10. Treading lightly here. But I’m surprised Berliner Christians are not receiving the same outpouring of support that Charlie Hebdo writers did. I know the later concert massacre was more horrific. But I am disappointed if it desensitized us to this.

    Someone help me with an accurate Deutsche, ‘We support/are German/Berlin Christians/Citizens!”

    I am not glossing over history. I just feel Germans are people too.

  11. I’ve always written it as “eeent”, with varying amounts of ‘e’s and ‘n’s depending on force/mood/etc, I guess I just hear it with a harsher ending than is supplied by “aeeh”.

  12. I met Miss Eudora and spoke with her briefly when I was in Jackson for a meeting many years ago. I don’t think her name was ever on Pogo’s boat, but so many were that I could be wrong.

    I never met Mr. Faulkner. Going bar-hopping with him would have undoubtedly been awesome, though.

  13. GR6, my first thought as well. But it had been widely, mistakenly, criticized. And borrowing from a different historical event doesn’t feel quite right. We would never reuse the day of infamy reference, for example.

    But maybe the simplicity speaks for itself.

    Ich bin ein Berliner!

  14. There are many I’d enjoy sharing an evening with. But only a few opportunities. So I and my fellows settle for lifting a glass, and discussing their views until we’ve beaten them to submission for one night. Then do it again next time around. Not exactly Algonquin, but it exercises thought and helps to find your place in the world.

  15. Here is my first Debbe report. Just hung up phone. Debbe has a deep throaty voice, I thought I had a wrong number!

    She got through today with just one cigarette. We ended up laughing at life and what it rolls down the road to knock your feet from under you.

    I think she has done the right thing for herself and her dad.

  16. Anon.: Thanks.

    Steve: Per the 2016 Sky Gazer’s Almanac on my office door, 21 Dec. is the shortest day in the USA this year, solstice at 0544 EST. Don’t wake me. 2017 version goes up there shortly after Christmas.


  17. Charlotte, Peanuts Holiday Countdown is a limited run, Advent piece included in GoComics list. Today’s was Snoopy’s reaction to a sub-standard fruitcake recipe. (:

  18. Beautiful music and musicians. However, I have never seen classical musicians wearing less. Do you think this is where Chickweed Lane got its’ premise and plot?

  19. Here is my last Pogo strip for now. It is an entire arc from beginning to end and is so funny you will laugh out loud. It is as fresh and pertinent today as it was in mid 1950s when he drew it. Great staying power.

    There is one very funny part about in middle of strip when Albert the alligator dresses in his Mata Hari costume. You will get the precognition part that stunned me minute I saw it. Almost didn’t post it for that reason. Watch it.

  20. Yeah, that’s why I was looking for a different slogan to rally support with.

    But I guess if people still argue over what is/is not a jelly doughnut after 53 years, maybe the real stuff just doesn’t matter.

  21. I am turning off dryer and going to bed. Considering that I made a mistake spending all that money to get Honda minivan ship shape and keeping it. Probably should have traded it in. Have ANOTHER problem as Forrest Gump would say.

    Told you I sent off all the sweets to my workman. I had healthy dinner of pork loin roast, sautéed mushrooms and green peas. Decided I just had to have something sweet.

    Ended up eating six prunes.

  22. emb:

    That is correct. I should have said “one of the shortest” I woke up at 5:44 and sure enough, there was the Solstice. Then I walked into the bathroom door. Awake now!

    The earliest Sunset was December 8th and the latest Sunrise will be approximately January 3rd…. I hope that I got that right. I posted that a few years ago and got them flipped. I’m sure that I will be corrected if wrong.

  23. Steve: Basically, correct. This yr. and next, those dates here are 7 Dec. and 4 Jan. Varies / two reasons. 1. Leap year crowds in a day. 2. Unless it’s precisely noon in Greenwich, UK, and therefore midnight at lat. 180, it’s a different date someplace else on the globe.

    Happy birthday,

  24. Had to go take a second look to get Lynn’s comment!

    Reminds me of these dear sweet elderly women who were ordwring Christmas ribbon from us and began singing suddenly and said “Why do you suppose they didn’t start the song at the beginning?”

    It had never occurred to us that the rather medieval design was a real song.

  25. So, the Ghost doesn’t like my choices in music? I don’t substitute well for Debbe?

    I will switch to less clothing for those singing, one of my lingerie companies has both black and white angel wings for Christmas. Exactly how do they attach? I bet Ghost knows!

  26. Which reminds me, we miss your lascivious remarks about your life and the women in it. Some of us have to live vicariously.

    No vicars were harmed in the composition of that sentence.

  27. Debbe and Jackie: Strength and tranquility to you as you pursue your worthy goals. I believe in you.

    (I have to add this pointless parenthetical because dim-witted software will not let me post “same” message twice.)

  28. Jackie, where did I say I didn’t like your choice of music? I thought my comment “Proof of my long-held theory that one can make beautiful music without wearing much in the way of clothing” indicated enthusiastic approval of the “classical” music you posted.

    The cello player was my favorite. In fact, I always enjoy watching a female play a cello. The way they hold it while playing, perhaps? Lucky instruments. 😉

    And the important thing about the angel wings is not how they attach, but how one unattaches them. 😀

  29. It isn’t Christmas without Elvis so I am listening as I drive. This one came on and I thought how interesting it is they can do a duet with Elvis 30 years after he died. Then I began to remember the first year he sang Blue Christmas and how I sang along with the radio because my then boyfriend was gone and I was suffering teenage angst.

    This was boy from my senior year, the one I thought I would marry and be a military wife. I didn’t of course. According to his brother he has been married and divorced under ten times! He said more than seven, less than ten. I doubt I would have changed his life. Or maybe I did?

  30. Kennedy’s heavy accent made a lot people scratch their heads when he spoke in English. Wiki says that what he was trying to say was difficult, but that the people of Berlin “got it” as they cheered wildly Also, the jelly doughnut that was a Berliner was not popular in Berlin itself.

    Even if he had misspoken, I think Berliners were willing to give Kennedy, and later Reagan, a pass as they were charismatic leaders willing to stick up for them. I think of the couple in Casablanca who are showing off their English skills before leaving for America.

    Mr. Leuchtag: Mareichtag and I are speaking nothing but English now.
    Mrs. Leuchtag: So we should feel at home when we get to America.
    Carl: Very nice idea, mm-hmm.
    Mr. Leuchtag: [toasting] To America!
    Mrs. Leuchtag: To America!
    Carl: To America!
    Mr. Leuchtag: Liebchen – sweetness, what watch?
    Mrs. Leuchtag: Ten watch.
    Mr. Leuchtag: Such watch?
    Carl: Hm. You will get along beautiful in America, mm-hmm.

  31. Steve, well posted on a confusing subject. Great comic moment with Carl playing straight-man. ‘Cuddles’ had many great moments.

    Jackie, letting you know I’m going to reuse ‘no vicars were harmed’. Bishop from Spokane years back liked to give a Kermit D. Frog punchline as, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Black. Give the frog a Loan.”

    A prosperous Yule to our naturalist friends, Wicca, Heathen, and Pagan. To new beginnings. Cheers.

  32. Jackie’s Forest Gump ref. made me recall the photo of Tom Hanks receiving his award from President Obama. They both had a wry smile. May have been the awkwardness of two tall men maneuvering on a small dais. But it made me wonder if he went into character with, “I gotta pee…”

    Can anyone confirm or deny?

  33. If, on Christmas morning, anyone sees a brand-new Mercedes, Lexus, or Beemer with a big red bow on its roof parked on a snowy driveway, please let me know.

    Note: Seeing that in a Mercedes, Lexus, or BMW TV or print advert does not count.

  34. GR6, thanks for the F4 link. I still recall an Easter Sunday when an F4 on final approach turn over our house lost airspeed. Slate, flaps, and rails were all screaming when the pilot light the afterburner. Loon was on the phone to the base Noise Abatement Officer in a flash. Nothing like being a semi dependent of the Air Force for quality living quarters.

  35. Sand, the sound of freedom can scare the hell out of any newly arrived dependents. Babies have sensitive ears. But I’ve known desperate souls use that to over-stimulate a crying infant to sleep.

  36. Is Santa Ghost giving them away as a surprise to really good senior citizens of female persuasion?

    I almost traded in my Honda on a new one in a fit of picque. Next time anything goes wrong I am driving it or towing it straight to my
    Dealer in Tulsa. I had gone to four closer dealers in effort to get work done locally and got told they could get to it next week or not at all.

    These sat Dickens and I in nice waiting room and repaired it. Turns out there was a recall.

  37. Jackie, GoComics has a strip that plods along and disappears for weeks sometimes, C’est la Vie by Jennifer Babcock. I like it for the Franco-mericano contrast she showcases. But today’s made me think of your frequent subject, undergarments.

  38. Were I Santa, I might perhaps be tempted to give all the good girls moderately priced gifts for Christmas and all the naughty girls new Beemers. And I would know where all the naughty girls live. 😉

  39. When vanity license plates were the rage two I encountered:
    White Corvette, driver a tall blonde female; ALLTAN
    Black Mercedes, young female driver; 4BNGOOD

  40. OK, Morphy, you knew you’d make me look at C’est la Vie, didn’t you?

    Sort of reminds me of a St. Valentine’s Day gift from MWL…a pair of thong underwear inscribed with the legend “You’re Dynamite!” With, of course, an illustration of a lit stick of dynamite on its front.

    That vicarious enough for ya, Jackie? 😉

  41. Collateral damage, Ghost, I swear!

    But you did make me recall a lower ticket item, cheap printed pair of briefs I received in high school. But my dumb, nerdy younger version couldn’t see a flirt applied with 2×4. The sad tales of missed opportunities. And seasonally appropriate, too. It was a very un-secret Santa exchange.

  42. I don’t know if Lucky Brand denim jeans are still around. Same young lady and I would share rides into town to hang at the mall. Doesn’t the description alone make you gag with 80’s shame? Any who, she would tease me by showing how the fly opening on the jeans were printed on the inside: You Just Got Lucky.

    In my defense, I was happily pursuing a sophomore hottie at the time. But still, I’m an idiot.

  43. Since Janis jokes are often based on underwear or lack of it, I feel someone here has to be available to stimulate interest besides Ghost. Although my wearing or not wearing doesn’t stimulate much of anyone now-a-days.

    No, I am resolved to get my Honda towed to Tulsa should it ever break down again. My consultant today gave me his card and said call him. Don Carlton Honda has superb repair department and perhaps best customer service in America.

    Need to call Debbe in Indiana back. She had a rough day today and had smoked two cigarettes. God keeps intervening to save me from sugar and fats.

  44. Where are police when people blatantly drive with no plates? Saw two such on drive from Tulsa just now. Had the kind of gift shop plates you put on front of car screwed down on back where real plates go.

    Is it the salesman in me that makes me notice them?

  45. That’s a tale I could flesh-out a bit more, as it were. 😉 While maybe fifty know the nickname I used for her was Jeri, only five souls on the planet know why.

    Until now, of course.

    VCR replays of favorite movies was a common theme for small gatherings of young adults. Cult status in my circle included: Airplane!; MP’s Holy Grail; and in this case, an obscure offering from down under, Goodbye, Pork Pie! [not sure if the exclamation mark belongs there]

    In that movie, an epic drunken stoned mess of a plot travels the length of both New Zealand islands to find the woman who left the drunken stoned mess of a man, in hopes of reunion. Aussie humor was in vogue, and we felt privileged to know of this hard to find example of Kiwi wit, in the way young idiots like to feel superior.

    Description now appropriate, while many examples exist that are not quite right, this one will do: If you saw Kristy McNichol’s bubbly character in The Pirate Move [G&S nod for you, emb], you are pretty close. Unfortunately, she was convinced I was more interested in brunettes. Yeah, confusing right?

    Back to our tale. Another member of our group took to calling our subject Groucho Blondini from this movie. A character named Gerry Austin referred to the starring pair as the Blondini Gang, and himself as Groucho Blondini. Jeri was a good sport but let it be known she wasn’t fond of the Grouch part of Groucho. My nerd creds intact I tried to continue the theme while changing it for her. She chose the spelling because neither of us could remember and IMdb didn’t exist.

    Down the road, Jeri explained she liked the name because it sounded like ‘Cherri’, said as the fruit not the French. A name she also didn’t like that had been hung on her by a group she left to join us. But close enough to be mistaken when our paths crossed. I soon learned when it was appropriate to give which inflection. Link that to a couple of years later when Melanie Griffith did her futuristic bad ass with a past, Cherry science fiction.

    No Soap, Radio. A bit of a shaggy dog. You read all this looking for more ‘flesh’ didn’t you?

  46. Well, Morphy you are the age of my girls who were teens in the 80s and ran around with a large group who just hung out, drank , smoked and consumed various other substances and of whom more than half were males, we’ll, you sound about right. I understand you.

  47. Ruth Anne:

    Will order one of those, M, soon.

    Cutest I’ve seen recently [in an unnamed outfit where I don’t get paid for working*], white or yellow, green background, on a 2-3 yr. old male toddler, ‘CHICKS LOVE ME’. And he was real chick bait. His attendant [How should I know?] wasn’t bad, either.

    *There are at least 3; actually, dozens.


  48. About the comic strip, dumb and blatant and not too funny.

    How old was MWL back then or even though she has passed , as we say in South, is it too rude to say? I need to seriously get back to working out but it has been pointless except for personal gratification and self esteem. I have too much of that already and I have seen nothing I’d want. Now that thought is depressing.

    For entertainment purposes I ordered a lace nightgown with a bottom as well and they shipped it in an envelope smaller than a greeting card. I looked at it and said “Now what have I bought that looks like a hair net?” The entire thing looked like a crumpled Kleenex.

  49. Morphy the “gang” cleaned up well too. I think one is attorney, even my daughter teaches in Houston. I met most again at her second wedding and they seemed quite respectable. Married with children, minivans and lawn mowers.

  50. Old Bear, that was fun! I found myself watching the ‘solo” deer during the whole thing…you just knew he was going to do wonders.

    Ruth Anne, that’s a neat shirt!

    We spent this evening walking around the Detroit Zoo’s Wild Lights. Three years in a row on the winter solstice—I think we got us a tradition here. And hot chocolate with whipped cream to warm up afterwards in front of the fireplace.

  51. Jaquie, sorry to offend with the comic. A little confused on the prose versus pictorial distinction of non-explicit material, but acknowledged and noted all the same. Had missed that you changed spelling of your name back. Glad your transportation is tip-top for your trip, enjoy.

  52. Don’t feel bad, Morphy; in retrospect, I let some of the fish escape the barrel with shooting them when in my teens. Made up for it in my twenties and beyond, however.

  53. Jackie, MWL was about six years older than I, although she didn’t nearly look it. Almost all my serious relationships have been with women who were from one to eight years old than I. Hmm.

    Bat Guano Crazy Lady was 14 years younger. Perhaps that should have been a warning flag?

    Tell Debbe I said “hi” and to hang tough. And that I believe in her.

  54. Think I have figured out how old you are Ghost from your many clues. That must have been a young wife widowed?

    I never figured out what my late husband had in common with the young women he favored? I don’t think it was conversation. I know what they expressed interest in so one would assume that’s their attraction and most were pretty explicit about their areas of interest and assets

    That’s what happens I suppose when a person can’t clean it all up when they die, the correspondence goes on.

    Tonight I am apparently catching some bug I have been exposed to, I feel so horrible and am afraid to think about driving myself eight hours plus gas, stopping for breaks. I was putting together sets of clothes and almost keeled over. I would not describe this as a ladylike glow.

  55. Actually didn’t change my name Hal did. I have five machines I post from. I am Jackquline H. Monies but go by Jackie and have all my life.

    I pronounce my last name “monies, like the plural of money.”

    Remarkably very few people can spell the plural of money.

    My late husband pronounced his name as Moniz but spelled it Monies.

  56. Jackie, thanks for clarify. Yeah I’d always read it as $$$ and had assumed it was a handle until you had shared boating columns.

    GR6, in a brotherly way back at you, on BGCL.

    I passed, in my twenties, on what may have been A Very Good Thing. When presented, after thirty, with a truly difficult choice that no man would complain of having to make, I passed on the younger in favor of the more ‘appropriate’ age. Not taken lightly, I truly feared that the beautiful young woman with a fresh new degree in marketing might feel limited if an ‘older’ man followed her to NY. I was ready for the big commitment, and knowing that I was not ready at twenty-three, projected that onto her. Foresaw A Big Problem.

    The woman who had bravely left a not lucrative career and went back to the flexibility of waiting tables in high-end restaurants, so that her schedule could always adapt to whatever training was needed for her passion of medicine, that sounded like a grounded individual that could take life choices by the balls. I thought that would work well with how I had made out my world. (Not in medicine, I’ve seen that pairing go bad.) Life hands everyone obstacles as well as opportunities. When doors didn’t open to a simple knock, she reacted in a way I did not foresee. And I didn’t do well with that either.

    But my current interest knows my war stories, and I might know most of hers. She even wondered what I’m working on here and laughed at me.

    Can’t be predicted, only enjoyed.

    P.S. Ran into Miss Marketing at my son’s 7th birthday party held at one of those kind of places. She had come to a high school friend’s daughter’s sixth. Astonished I recognized her, and told me so. I tried to play it off, but I don’t hold illusions well.

  57. Morphy I once was told by one of my customers to “never play loser’s poker with a failed Cajun oilman.” That is good advice because all of us make bad and good choices in life.

    My youngest daughter always seemed amazed when men both recognized and remembered me. She’d always ask why I didn’t marry them and I’d always tell the truth. “I thought he was going to be a clergyman, I had no idea he’d end up with a prestigious art gallery and an ambassador.”

    Sometimes I wish I knew how all the stories end but we are stuck with choices we made, few of us get do overs.

  58. Realized my hi-low comment may seem strange after Melcher’s ‘Priceless’ critique of last week(?). Let me try this: I like Friends in Low Places [thanks, Garth], as long as everyone presents openly. Jennifer Babcock’s humor from a feminine place I take at face value, as meaning something from that woman’s view.

    Melcher’s humor is to take a piece of centuries old art, which may represent a very large effort by someone who has never considered the eventual existence of Mr. Melcher. He then takes pleasure in attributing a new message, frequently at odds with the prima facie image supplied. Often including a message that simply did not exist at the time.

    If it were my work, I would be offended. And so am offended on behalf of an artist long mouldered out of existence. Fitzgerald may wonder at the scholarly interpretation of his billboard. But may take offense if the reader wanted the glasses to be Google.

    Sand, I refreshed before post. Someone here told a story of an inmate getting the police to turn over his uncle’s garden for him by admitting as much.

  59. Jackie, you are probably underestimating my age, although you might not think so to see me. Everyone in my family tends to not look their age, even though they also tend to live to advanced ages. Oddly, three or four people have told me lately that my hair appears to have less gray in it than previously. One of them was P&PHS, who I would assume could tell if I were coloring it, which I am not.

    Truly hope you are not getting sick.

  60. Morphy, a high school classmate married several times. The last time was a serious mistake since she apparently murdered him but no body was ever found. It seemed like every time I went home to see my Mama they had dug that yard up again.

    Frankly I think I would have moved rather than face constant reminders of suspicion. We have an ongoing similar case here in our little town. No body has been found and the husband has to face posters on every door in town, rewards offered, flyers handed out and constant suspicion as the entire community judged him guilty.

    There has been much digging here as well.

  61. Oh, Jackie! Truth can be stranger than fiction. But I was recalling a punchline told by Old Bear, or Sand, or forgive me I don’t recall.

    Frankie? was serving time at Sing Sing and couldn’t care for his uncle’s tomato garden.

    He sent his uncle a letter (he knew would be read) saying not to disturb the garden.

    Next day, a squad of the cities finest young men turned it all over for him.

    The next letter arrived explaining that was the best he could do from jail.

    Sorry for the horse before the cart.

  62. On the extremely rare occasions when I get really ill, such as back in August, with whatever bug I picked up at the hospital while I was there with my mom, I always assume it is Dave Barry’s Martian Death Flu, as described below…

    We have the flu. I don’t know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like Martian Death Flu. You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past “HIGH,” that said: “ELECTROCUTION.”

    Another symptom is that you cease brushing your teeth because (a) your teeth hurt and (b) you lack the strength. Midway through the brushing process, you’d have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a couple of hours, and rivulets of toothpaste foam would dribble sideways out of your mouth, eventually hardening into crusty little toothpaste stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom floor, which is where the police would find you. You know the kind of flu I’m talking about.

    I spend a lot of time lying very still and thinking flu-related thoughts. One insight I have had is that all this time scientists have been telling us the truth: Air really is made up of tiny objects called “molecules.” I know this because I can feel them banging against my body. There are billions and billions and billions of them, but if I concentrate, I can detect each one individually, striking my body, especially my eyeballs, at speeds upwards of a hundred thousand miles per hour. If I try to escape by pulling the blanket over my face, they attack my hair, which has become almost as sensitive as my teeth.

    There has been a mound of blankets on my wife’s side of the bed for several days now, absolutely motionless except that it makes occasional efforts to spit into a tissue. I think it might be my wife, but the only way to tell for sure would be to prod it, which I wouldn’t do even if I had the strength, because if it turned out that it was my wife, and she were alive, and I prodded her, it would kill her.

    Me, I am leading a more active life-style. Three or four times a day, I attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Unfortunately this is a distance of nearly 15 feet, with a great many air molecules en route, so at about the halfway point I usually decide to stop and get myself into the fetal position and hope for nuclear war. Instead, I get Earnest. Earnest is our dog. She senses instantly that something is wrong, and guided by that timeless and unerring nurturing instinct
    that all female dogs have, she tries to lick my ears off.

    For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high point of his entire life to date. He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days now. He has a sense of joyful independence a five-year-old child gets when he suddenly realizes that he could be operating an acetylene torch in the coat closet and neither parent would have the strength to object. He has been foraging for his own food, which means his diet consists entirely of “food” substances that are advertised only on Saturday morning cartoon shows; substances that are the color of jukebox lights and that, for legal reasons, have their names spelled wrong, as in New Creemy Chock-’n’-Cheez Lumps o’ Froot (“part of this complete breakfast”).

    Crawling around, my face inches from the carpet, I sometimes encounter traces of colorful wrappers that Robert has torn from these substances and dropped on the floor, where Earnest, always on patrol, has found them and chewed them into spit-covered wads. I am reassured by this. It means they are both eating.

    The Martian Death Flu has not been an entirely bad thing. Since I cannot work, or move, or think, I have been able to spend more Quality Time with Robert, to come up with creative learning activities that we can enjoy and share together. Today, for example, I taught him, as my father had taught me, how to make an embarrassing noise with your hands. Then we shot rubber bands at the contestants on “Divorce Court.” Then, just in case some parts of our brains were still alive, we watched professional bowling. Here’s what televised professional bowling sounds like when you have the flu:
    PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN: He left the 10-pin, Bob.
    COLOR COMMENTATOR: Yes, Bill. He failed to knock it down.
    PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN: It’s still standing up.
    COLOR COMMENTATOR: Yes. Now he must try to knock it down.
    PLAY-BY-PLAY MAN: You mean the 10-pin, Bob?

    The day just flew by. Soon it was 3:30 P.M., time to crawl back through the air molecules to the bedroom, check on my wife or whoever that is, and turn in for the night.
    Earnest was waiting about halfway down the hall.

    “Look at this,” the police will say when they find me. “His ears are missing.”

  63. I had a wonderful conversation about the ministry and a calling with a young nondenominational hospice chaplain this afternoon. I know, I have some interesting chance meetings, we were both waiting for our vehicles. He looked to be about 15 even with a beard so I asked and he was 27 and ordained by one of our Oklahoma church schools.

    So, we were talking about having responsible jobs at a young age but looking so young. Hence his beard. I was laughing at myself aloud over my younger days and he thought I was his mother’s age. Turns out I am his granny’s age, he could not believe that, had knocked a lot of years off, bless him.

    Perception is often based on many things not biological.

    I like younger people because when you find smart ones they make you younger by mental challenges. My late husband apparently liked physical challenges in all he did. Mental wasn’t part of some apparently.

    Of course I am guilty of some of those same prejudices.

  64. Thank you for Dave Barry whom I love. I laughed all the way through the Martian Death Flu even though it hurt to laugh.

    Everyone working for me has the flu. Tony came in to work today and stayed away from me as much as possible but I have been around everyone a lot prior to this. No, I don’t want to be sick. I have been remarkably well.

  65. Ghost I think you are a very young and fit 60 or so years which is OK. Read what I said about perceived age. You planning to not retire but go on doing whatever it is you do until someone stops you?

  66. Ghost, back around 1979-80 time frame when the F-4s were still based at Ramstein Germany, I was waiting for at the Pax terminal and watching a flight taxi down the runway (tarmac?). They were returning from a mission and had their canopies open. Of course I waved at the pilot and one of them waved back.

  67. Chris, I can do you one better. I was stationed at an undisclosed remote location when the Thunderbirds flew in to do a performance. As the four primary aircraft taxied in trail back to the flight line to park after their show, they passed the structure where I was on duty, standing on a platform about 10 meters above the surface. I saw the pilot of Number 3 tilt his helmeted head back to look up at me, so I gave him a thumbs-up, which he returned.

    At that moment, Number 2 slowed to make the left turn toward their parking area, and Number 3 had to hit his brakes hard enough to compress the strut of his nose gear a good bit. For a moment, I could picture the comment in my AF record, “…distracted the pilot of one USAF Air Demonstration Squadron aircraft, causing it to collide with another aircraft on the ground, resulting in significant damage to both.” I mean, it would have had to have been my fault, amirite? 🙂

  68. All this thinking about brushes with Angel’s made me start thinking about our next door neighbors son Van H. (Shep) Shepard who was a famous test pilot and flew the XR-70. He died in a plane crash in 1970, sort of ironic. I remember his death and funeral but can find little on him, yet he was a big deal then. A super hero, he was in his 40s then and I 20 years younger thought he was an old man.

    How time changes our view point.

    By the way my head hurts so bad I cannot stand to.move and I feel awful

  69. On relative ages – I had tried to console my sister with this one; will probably miss here too.

    In his early 40’s, Max von Sydow, former young knight facing Death incarnate, formerly cast as our young Lord and Savior, played the role of OLD Father Merrin, sometimes described as elderly, in The Exorcist (1973). Just last year the same highly experienced actor had a role in the hottest film ever (by ticket sales, in an always expanding population) Star Wars ep. VII. In his career 40 is ancient and 86 ain’t dead yet.

    It didn’t make my sister feel any better.

  70. Yes, that is he. Look how good looking he was! I knew most of the astronauts up to the late 1980s and none were this good looking yet I in my teens thought he was ancient, an old man.

    I wonder why this is about all I could find on him besides his Find A Grave marker? Does fame disappear that fast along with technology?

    Wondered why he did not become astronaut as almost all the XR-70 group did? I believe he was made an astronaut post humously because of his successful flight into space with the XR-70.

    He is buried out in same cemetery with his parents and my family.

  71. The thing is this was the pre-NASA days and these guys and planes were all over news reels and early television, Life Magazine, Time, News Week all did covers and articles.

    They were the real deal, the Right Stuff.

  72. Debbe and Jackie: Strength and tranquility to you as you pursue your worthy goals. I believe in you.

    (I have to add this meaningless parenthetical because cockamamie software will not let me post “same” message twice.)

  73. Jackie, I meant to check on your condition this morning but got sidetracked. Sounds as though you are not doing too well. What are your travel plans now? Looks like some rain but no wintry precipitation along your route.

  74. Ghost, I am down seven pounds from my regained weight. I am doing fairly well avoiding sugars and fats,, bad carbs. Had English muffins for brunch with butter and a drizzle of honey.

    My blood sugars are back to normal as well.

    Debbe had a bad day yesterday and smoked two cigarettes. I would probably eaten them

    My head is spinning and hurting so badly I am going back to sleep. There is a yellow cat keeping me company.

  75. Right now Mr. Ghost I am trying to determine if I feel well enough to drive up there. I don’t feel well enough to make it the six miles into town right now.

  76. Air shows at my local airport in 80’s may have had flight characteristics changed due to location in a valley. Close passes and sudden maneuvers were impressive, but happened high overhead instead of ‘on the deck’. And no ‘splody things allowed. But that Marine Corps support platform, ‘Fat Albert’ would close the event with all eight JATO (?) rockets engaged. Really caught your attention if you were trying to get to the car early.

  77. Jackie, use the good sense I know you have in finalizing your travel plans.

    When you next talk to Debbe, tell her I’m proud of her…I don’t know how many cigarettes she previously smoked per day, but I’m fairly sure it was more than two.

  78. I did tell her just now, Ghost. She is at her dad’s and was preparing to cook hamburgers on a George Foreman grill for dinner. She sounded more upbeat and says she is doing better.

    Her son Ian is going to come stay with her beginning tomorrow. She has been very worried about him

    Big news is she had a job offer from Dollar General which I think is wonderful because she will be good at that, she is so hard working.

  79. Here’s my corrected name. Hal doesn’t think I know it.

    Ghost, I feel.awful. my head hurts badly, as does body. I just hate to disappoint my grandson. My decision is to wait until I feel better to go.or no bad weather.

    Right now I must drag myself to kitchen and laundry. And that seems marginal.

  80. Scrabble troubles, lucky enough to hold Q and can build on a U but don’t hold any other vowels. Too bad proper names are against rules. HAL is such a stickler.

  81. Getting there is the only important thing, Jackie. What day it is is not. Christmas can be celebrated at a later day. We have done so in the past when necessary.

  82. I vote with Ghost and Nancy! Depending on when your grandson goes back to school, there will be plenty of days in the coming weeks that need to be filled with fun.

  83. Waiting for Allstate to call back. They were wanting to send it to Nashville which I pointed out was wrong direction.

    I notice I have a different person on my case now.

  84. Does the new person seem more capable? Or a newbe cutting their teeth?

    Hope strong people are helping you.

    And with all the rest, I say nephews have more fun with healthy aunts.

    Bless your efforts.

  85. This one is working on Bentonville or Roger’s, Arkansas which is quite close, less than three hours away.. And my cousin has ALLSTATE agency there whose dad is my guardian. I have not called in this one yet.

    My other guardian used o be with State Farm but I am waiting to sic him back on them.

    Ghost, I would have sent it to your area if I could, give me an excuse to visit Mississippi again. Since the shop has to accept, all is not settled yet.

  86. This one is working on Bentonville or Roger’s, Arkansas which is quite close, less than three hours away.. And my cousin has ALLSTATE agency there whose dad is my guardian. I have not called in this one yet.

    My other guardian used o be with State Farm but I am waiting to sic him back on them.

    Ghost, I would have sent it to your area if I could, give me an excuse to visit Mississippi again. Since the shop has to accept, all is not settled yet.

  87. Just be glad they didn’t have to send Trigger back to Detroit (or where ever it was built) for repairs, Jackie. Were these Ford dealership body shops that could not do the required repairs?

    I assume the aluminum in question is the floor of the bed that Brand C uses as a sales point in their advertising.

  88. There are a few times when you wish for someone sleeping with you larger than the 10 # Adventure Dog. One is when you are changing bed sheets. Dickens idea of help is to run up and jump into the sheets as you fling them up and down.

    Managed to get clean sheets on bed and totally exhausted. Resting up. Next miracle tomorrow is putting away clean laundry.

  89. These are all Allstate approved shops, not Ford dealerships. Apparently they are not one and the same. I was told that to be Allstate approved you must agree to take a reduced price for the work.

    Have not seen commercials but apparently truck is all aluminum.

  90. Personally, I buy only military-grade aluminum foil.

    Fortunately, my only recent experience with body shops was about six years ago when Crown Vic #2 had to go to the local Ford dealer after I ran over a truck tire and wheel on a dark road one night (yeah, that’s what I said, too) and did $5K worth of damage to CV2, mostly under the front end. I was doing business with the Gecko’s company at the time and had no problem with either the company or the dealership. I changed instance companies about two years ago for a better price and because the Allstate agent did a tremendous favor for a close friend of mine.

  91. Dickens and I are crawling back in bed, having had a healthy dinner of ground steak, plain, carrots, snow peas and brown rice with gluten free brown gravy and an apple and mini prunes. Dickens and Ghost were nose to nose a minute ago.

    Ghost has a white mustache that looks like he stuck his nose in whipped cream and is totally adorable. He thinks he is the big cat in training, hanging around with Ashes who is the Senior Cat and not sure he wants a pleb at his pawside.

  92. What with feeling miserable I forgot to post a Christmas song for Ghost and the Village. Here’s the ultimate one in my opinion, the original Eartha Kitt 1953 recording of Santa Baby.

    Opened today’s email from Victoria Secret and they are offering what looks like an emaciated underage model in a sagging pajama set that says “Be On Both Lists”. Well, her abdominal and lower muscles were quite visible but I was feeling awful.

  93. I went to VS’s website and found a blonde with a bare midriff and a vacant expression on her face that said, “The roofie just kicked in,” sort of wearing dark colored PJ’s with little red-capped snowmen on them. Was that it?

  94. No, mine had a cropped tee shirt with above saying Be On Both Lists and rolled down boy shorts held below her public area with stick on tape. I will copy for you. I am a terrible enabler.

  95. Jackie
    Be sure you are not spreading before you visit GS

    It took BH a week before she could do anything without
    resting every 10 feet –
    but if you can eat more than toast and Green Tea
    you are on way to recovery.

    Tell Debbe GM

  96. It is a box set because it is shipped in a gift box with a tee shirt, shorts and a pair of soles. The green one is sold out.

    Those beads are a Christmas tree garland, not a Rosary.

    Yes, your video was.amazing and beautiful. I have not seen Trans Siberianot or Mannheim either in years. Both came to Tulsa this year. I have already found Christmas music for tomorrow.

    Didn’t subject you to Madonna or some of other versions of Santa Baby but Betty Boop was fun.

  97. Jackie, I had a cold the week after Thanksgiving. I got it from a four year old. I don’t blame him. He didn’t know he was contagious, but his mother did. Jack and his mom will like having a healthy woman visiting them.

  98. Thanks guys, I hope they understand. I just woke up, still nauseated and aches . Hal isn’t cooperative today. Had an English muffin and iced tea. Going back to bed. Had nightmares all night. Not horribly sick, no first aid needed, second or third aid will do.

    Quick, where is that quote from? Loved it forever.

  99. Jackie, I’m so happy you decided to let this malady take its course at home rather than on the road. Your grandson and daughter will be there will open arms no matter when you safely get to their home!

    Debbe, I hope you are having a good time with your Dad. I’m picturing the two of you and Ian playing cards around the kitchen table and eating black licorice. Through my early twenties, I was lucky enough to spend a week at a cottage each summer with cousins, aunts, and uncles. Lots of board games, fishing, cooking, and storytelling. Really good memories!

    For me, this holiday season won’t be quite what I would like it to be; but then, they never really are, are they? Yet when I look back, I can say that most have been happy, most have been joyful, all have been more wonder-filled than I expected or deserved. And for this goodness, I am thankful.

  100. ‘Christmas music for tomorrow’: The best, IMO, = Nine Lessons and Carols from Cambridge University’s King’s College Chapel, live at 0900 CST Sat. morning [which is 1500 Greenwich time] and re-run at 1700 that evening, on Minn. Public Radio [88.5 FM in Bemidji], and all the other MPR classical stations. I suspect it’s available via American PR elsewhere. Go to for details, or search for ‘Lessons Carols King’s College Cambridge’. I’m in Deerwood for the weekend, but Brian will have the radio set for me to turn on the Brainerd station at 0900.

    The King’s College Choir, all males, comprises two groups: pre-pubic [see, I know the difference] boy sopranos and altos, and adult Cambridge men tenors, baritones, and basses. The 9 lessons are read by assorted men and women from CU and the city of Cambridge, not all of whom grew up in the Fenlands. The assortment of accents can be delightful. If you don’t already have tickets to the event, forget it; it’s likely sold out. Just listen at home. The microphones are of course up front. The sound will reach you before it gets to the rear seats at KCC. It’s a long narrow bldg. We’ve never been in it / the ‘scaffolding committee’ that seemed to be on alert for our visits both to the UK and the Continent.

    There are more than 9 carols interspersed among the lessons, including one new carol premiered at the event. The lessons are the same each year, all KJV, from the Hebrew Bible [starting with ‘sinful Adam’] and the New Testament, through the Annunciation and the two birth stories.

    Merry and Happy,

  101. Set a bare aluminum pole in the corner. Get ready for the Feats of Strength. Festivus is upon us!

    Some art commentary on a favored hobby of mine. Horton, ejh, here and on a previous blog he shows a link to, covers a wide range of items chessic. Here a theme has been recreated many times, open to various interpretations.
    Fair Warning, the review does wander down toward our baser natures. But I believe the humor is supported in the original work. It presents more as analysis, less of a drive-by mockery. Enjoy, or pass as you like.

    Horton writes with the views of a British education. If I recall, without verifying, he is an ex-pat somewhere on the high Spanish plains.

  102. Boy am I feeling weird! I am either asleep or surfing weird reading on net. I started reading about NASA astronauts from the 1980s back when I lived among so many which led me to female astronauts since that first group had included the first women, first blacks and first oriental.

    Did anyone realize there had been over 400 females and there was even an all woman astronauts team that flew? I didn’t.

  103. Nancy, thank you for the kind comments on my “words.” I know there are those here that don’t do Facebook so I thought I would share my Christmas memory with you hete. This is my Christmas letter, my Christmas card, my mama who died in my arms the Thursday before Christmas. I may not have been understood but I was always loved.

    If there are people in your life yet, tell them how much you love them every day if you can. If they are not with you, tell them anyway, I expect they may yet hear you.

    Love, Jackie Monies

  104. My decades-long best friend has been scheduled for a biopsy just after Christmas. I just got word that a former neighbor died, alone at home, a few days ago. They didn’t find the body until today. The needle on the 2016 Suck-o-Meter continues to rise. Christmas of 2016 has the potential to be my worst one ever.

    If I let it.

    Which I won’t.


    One way will be to cater a Christmas day meal to someone who would otherwise not have much of one. (Poulet de Normandie, my mom’s-recipe asparagus casserole, cranberry sauce, and a desert.) I’ve done a few Secret-Santa things already this month for others, and I’ve decided that will be how I deal with the sad things.

    I’ve also decided Santa has a pretty neat job.

  105. Jackie, get better before you try to drive. I have been fighting this cold for almost 2 weeks. I thought I was getting better but it decided to come back. I have a 6 hour driver ahead of me tomorrow. If I get too tired, I may try to switch off with my wife for a 1/2 hour snooze.
    I was thinking both you and your daughter would benefit from a little technology and Skype. We have done Skype video calls with family that can’t get together over the holidays.

  106. Ghost, it is what I give to others or do that brings peace. You will find that to be true. Sometimes it is just smiling, laughter and words. Kindness doesn’t always cost.

  107. “And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore.

    Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

  108. Thanks to all for your kind thoughts.

    Travel day today. In case I don’t get a chance to tell you later, happy Hanukkah and the very merriest of Christmases to everyone. Or a jolly good Festivus, as the case may be.

  109. I will give you a laugh this morning. Dickens and I just woke up after our long winter’s nap. I am wearing flannel boy shorts on flannel sheets, no satins involved.

    Seemed I threw legs in air, body upright and slid onto floor despite best efforts to stand up on feet. Where I found myself sitting and unable to stand up, too weak.

    Finally got upright and to bathroom and now back in bed. Wondering how badly I want an English muffins and a Diet Coke?

    No further argument from me about driving eight to ten hours to Illinois today.

  110. sand, thank you for that link. I have always wondered if it was a distinction without a difference, but now see there was some reason for the dictinction in many cases.

    Our circle generally begins celebration with the solstice and carries on through January 7, so I’ll wish everyone Happy Holidays, whatever your holidays be!

  111. I haven’t had time to keep up with postings, but I do wish everyone a Happy Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year. 2017 WILL be better – I have faith!

  112. Ghost: That is absolutely the best way to handle sadness at Christmas. We can pause to remember the loved ones that have passed, but do something positive in their memory.

    I am not sure if 2017 will be much better. The greatest generation is dying and the Baby Boomers (many who live life a bit too hard) are getting older. But our response to the sadness in life is the key. Merry Merry Christmas to all. Peace on Earth, Goodwill Toward Man.

  113. A great miracle happened there, Happy Hanukkah!

    Yes, the older miracle, the one of long lasting lamp oil. Confusing to me as a child, because my protestant Bible does not include the Maccabees books. Later in study I found the words recording the events of the revolt and reconstruction for myself. Wow, that Judith lady didn’t wait for suffragettes to assert herself.

  114. Up having that English muffins, some cheese and crackers finally.. Ghost kitty and Dickens were being incredibly cute. Ghost was busy playing with Dickens fluffy tail. Like the kitten in Garfield, he is impossibly adorable with tiny ears, round face, round eyes and white whiskers and ear hair.

    In my reading yesterday I read an interesting thesis that involved Marilyn Monroe and her hourglass shape of the 1950s, and hoe America’s women have changed in shape and clothing sizes, not for the good.

    Remember how I said I didn’t know any fat women when I was young? Statistics support this, I didn’t. In most of my young life into my 40s I not only weighed in Marilyn’s range but in her measurements. So did the typical woman by the recorded measurements with a couple inches variation. Not true now.

    Today’s women have typical measurements about 10 inches bigger than those of the 50s and 60s with waists over 30 inches.
    So dress sizes have been up scaled along with menu’s serving sizes.

    According to the article, Marilyn and I would wear a size 2 by today’s sizes, not the 11 or so we did then. I know I wore an 8 when I moved to Oklahoma and I blamed chicken fried steak.

  115. For dog servants among us,, additional cuteness is found if you know Will is a pit-bull terrier.

    Jackie, one of the things about my classic movie hobby is an awareness of that change. I know the actresses chosen by the Hollywood machine are idealized fiction. But there are also examples in documentaries and other more faithful renderings of life in the first half of the 20th century. We didn’t know cholesterol, enjoyed fatty foods as a luxury, and salt was life. There may be some empirical evidence in there. My grandmother made it to a few days short of 102 years. Almost as much as she weighed for most of her life.

    Dainty portions, and lady-like demurring in appetite probably account for it. As you’ve said, portion control.

    Demure would not have applied away from the table.

  116. HAL would not accept demuring. I took his word for it and went to investigate.

    Merriam-Webster says I verbed an adjective. Wiktionary says I’m correct.

    Think I’ll stick with Webster. …demurely limiting her appetite.

  117. Morphy you are right of course. No woman nor girl would admit to having an appetite nor have eaten with gusts in my day. We were cheap dates because you just didn’t eat around men at all. You pretended to have no appetite and if you did probably your clothing would have discouraged it.

    Remember the corset scene in Gone With the Wind? Kim Kardashians waist trainer was our waist clincher to pull us in even smaller.

    Just discussing with one of my workmen who stopped in to check on me and the critters. Like Ghost, he didn’t marry. He said he used to love summer, sundresses, long hair. He couldn’t remember last one he saw. I met his last girl friend, they are still friends, like me she is Southern, pretty, we’ll dressed and looks young. That is a rarity in Oklahoma.

    This has to go along with lack of care in personal appearance. I can remember going to have my hair done before going into hospital, having hospital wardrobe of beautiful gowns, penjouirs, bed jackets and slippers. And corsages for the bed jackets.

    I am not kidding. Now I am sick wearing boy shorts and a tee shirt at home but not to shop at Walmart.

  118. Comfort clothing is a blessing in itself. But you are right, and remind me of days of white gloves. Yes my mother wore them when driving or out for the evening. And back in those days, if a young tyke grew tired, out running errands on a sunny afternoon (no A/C) he could lay down on the bench seat of an Oldsmobile with his head on Mom’s lap; instead of breaking his neck in a child seat alone in the back. I think we’ve missed the point of bonding all day, not just when convenient.

  119. Side-tracked myself. I meant to recall for you, at the hospital in the town of my youth there were separate barber shop and beauty salon. When young, I thought doctors were like senators and other important people who required tending to at there institution. When my grandmother of lesser health started spending a lot of time there, I learned why the beauty salon nearly always had a velvet rope across it. The house beautician spent her entire day ‘on the floor’ keeping her ladies presentable, no matter how sick the were.

    Different times, different approach to life. And often misinterpreted by today’s victim class. It was not, “I’m so vain, I must look my best.” It was “I respect myself and society enough to want to look good in public, and they won’t let me leave.” Resulting in the side benefit, “when I look good, I feel better.”

    Some old lessons need to be returned.

  120. Morphy, you are right about the barber shops and beauty shops in hospitals. They came to your rooms and “did your hair”. If you felt really good they might let you go yawn to shop but not likely.

    Today I go to hospital I use and patients are out in hospital driveway wearing hospital gowns hooked up to an IV bag and holder so they can smoke a cigarette. Or walking down ward hallways wearing hospital gowns, a catheter, an IV bag and pushing the frame to hold them, flapping bare butted.

    Some how I.liked mine and your mom’s day. I wore the white or black gloves, suits, hats and my hair and nails were done. It was about being proper and proper was being well dressed, so as not to offend ourselves or others.

  121. Trucker, that is a wonderful video. Do you know if there is any more video of them in concert? Jackie, sorry to hear that you are sick. I rarely get sick for more than one day, but I remember being sick on two consecutive Christmas days. A properly spiced egg nog may help and certainly won’t hurt. I am busier these days than I have ever been and any one of the several things that I am doing would keep me occupied fulltime, which means I’m doing a poor job of everything. Oh well , we have time for what we want to have time for. Being behind here, I have to ask. Has Debbe changed jobs? If so, she will be much happier doing something else I’m sure. I drove by my parent’s home recently and it was very strange to see someone else living there. My grandparents bought the house in 1960 and my parents moved there after both grandparents had died so I spent a lot of Christmases there. We will have step-children but no children here tomorrow, but thinking of the millions who have no roof over their heads, I know how lucky I am. Merry Christmas to all and here’s hopeing that we won’t think of 2016 as the good old days.

  122. Jerry, well met. But when cynical I fear these *are* tomorrows good ol’ days. :wince:
    Oh well let’s enjoy them while they’re here!
    Merry Christmas to You and Yours.

  123. Sorry, missed the direct answer.
    Debbe is briefly away caring for her father. She has an opportunity in retail environment that makes her happy I believe. Jackie is in contact with her.

  124. Have not talked to Debbe today but she is caring for her dad at his home and trying to quit smoking. She has a job offer from Dollar General which I hope she will take. Her work ethics would be a good match for a good DG manager, as hard work is biggest problem for them.

    Debbe was bringing her son Ian to stay with her. He is also out of work because of chicken house closing. Everyone lost jobs.

    She apparently has no cell phone or Internet out at her dad’s

    Am not seriously ill but feel bad enough to know better than take off on a ten hour trip. It is eight hours plus gas, bathroom, snack stops.

    Need to go take that big chunk of ribeye roast out of freezer. I am cooking that and baked potatoes, mushrooms, spinach for dinner tomorrow. Or someone is. It may get cooked in spurts.

    Merry Christmas, Hanakah or Happy Holidays.

  125. Dear Jackie, I have worried about you, all alone there, sick — even your loving pets can’t bring you a nice breakfast. I’m glad someone did show up and you got some food. I wish I could be there, or Debbe, or some of your many friends in the Village and on Facebook, and in real life. When I read your post of this afternoon, I felt so surprised and saddened by your words. “No woman or girl would admit to having an appetite nor to have eaten with gusto … You just didn’t eat around men at all.” I never heard of this custom before and it made me feel so bad, I had to leave the iPad and do something else for a while. How strange, and how awful for your health, you and your friends were still growing and developing. And depending on men for your happiness? I won’t even go into this subject and hopefully you have all long outgrown this attitude — I can see that you certainly have, Jackie.

    Maybe there were women and girls with this attitude while I was growing up in New Hampshire but I never heard a whisper of it, or since then either. The other kids at school were skinny mostly. Most parents couldn’t afford a lot of fattening food, and eating between meals was frowned on too. None of us declined food if it was available!

    When I went away to college there may have been girls there who felt they shouldn’t eat when they went on dates, but I didn’t hear anything about it.

    Hope you feel much better soon, Jackie. A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all the Villagers, and to all peoples on Earth, Peace.

  126. Back in the 70s my sweetheart was ridiculed by other girls as too skinny. She weighed about 95 lbs and is 5’2″. After a big meal she’s top out at 98 and lose the extra weight without dieting, just walking all over the campus.

    That all changed with our first pregnancy…

  127. Miss Charlotte, I’d say it was Southern except I first encountered bulimic and anorexic girls and learned all the tricks they used when I was in boarding schools in the north. Maybe it was the huge concentration of females but I had already gone through the “don’t eat, you’ll lose weight” routine before I got there while I lived in South America.

    I think you were blessed Miss Charlotte with a loving and quite normal upbringing which I envy.

    Yes, I can eat with enthusiasm unfortunately!

    My beautiful and thin, elegant cousin still does the order food, move it around, don’t actually ear it routine. We of my generation were about all like that, we were so aware of how wed appear to others that we suffer from body image and low self esteem.

    Interestingly I have been reading while not asleep, a lot on Marilyn Monroe, who seemed to represent the iconic sex symbol and beauty image of the 1950s and 60s. She had no self esteem at all. And thought she wasn’t beautiful.

    I just had a big bowl of sugar free chocolate frozen yogurt.

  128. Thank you for explaining the problem some more, Jackie. Yes, it’s still foreign to me, and I have read about this over the years also. I often reminisce, silently, about my childhood and teen years, and I always feel extremely fortunate to have had a small town to grow up in, with loving parents and grandparents, and their friends too. You are right, Jackie, I was blessed.

    The chocolate yogurt sounds good! I just had some fruitcake.

  129. Had Lasagna and exchanged gifts at our house. It is considerably smaller than our former home, but everyone was within earshot of each other and had a good time. The highlight of the day was my nearly 11 month old Grandson.

    When our son, Dan was about 2 he started recognizing the names of different cars by the emblems and shape. A customer heard me tell the story and said that he had a plastic pedal car in his garage that he never put together for his kids and offered it to me. It was by far my son’s (for that matter mine) favorite toy. After getting his degree in Manufacturing Engineering, he now works at Ford Motor Company, so I decided to get his son a motorized F-150 truck. Dan is presently working on the 2020 MY F-150.

    Our grandson’s reaction was greater than I could ever have imagined. He was SO excited and laughed and laughed! Later when everyone was unwrapping presents we set him on the floor so that he would play with the paper and he pulled himself up and stood up. Our cheers basically knocked him down but then he got back up and raised his hands in triumph for 10 seconds ala an official signalling a toughdown.

    First time having a toddler or young child in about 20 years. What a great Christmas.

    I pray that the joy of the Savior will fill all of my friends here at A& I’ll be off to sing his praise at 10:00 Mass tomorrow!

  130. We’ll be hitting the road in the morning, as usual on holidays it seems. Sure do miss the days when all the relatives lived nearby, even if it did mean I spent a lot of time in the kitchen! It’ll be too warm for a Christmas sweater, but I found some “ugly sweater” socks.

    May your Christmas day be happy (or merry, if you wish) and filled with wonder and love.

  131. Just finished watching “Magoo’s Christmas Carol”. Found that same channel has the Alistair Sim “Christmas Carol” for on demand viewing. My favorite version, will watch tomorrow.

    Merry Christmas and God’s blessings to all in the Village and their families!

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