A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

Extra, Extra!

Scenes from the Morgue

By Jimmy Johnson


Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
Here’s something you’ve never seen before. Few have. I produced these vignettes in 1997, why I can no longer remember. I am pretty sure that whatever the reason, they were never used. One of my favorite files (using that word very loosely!) contains such art; there isn’t as much as you might imagine. I’ve never been the kind of compulsive sketcher that most cartoonists seem to be. I’ve always taken that as a sign I missed my calling, as a sign I am not a born cartoonist. Please! I’m not saying I’m not good at it. I think I’ve done rather well. However, it has never come easy, and it can seem suspiciously like work at times, albeit not very strenuous work. Now, where was I going with all this? Well, if I remember, I’ll get back to it tomorrow.

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105 responses to “Scenes from the Morgue”

  1. Laura in Upstate NY Avatar
    Laura in Upstate NY

    Wild rabbit is much different then tame rabbit. If cooked together in the same pot it looks like white meat and dark meat chicken. I much prefer the wild rabbit, not due to any objection to eating tame ones but the flavor is much better. It is like veal raised at home vs what you buy in the store.

  2. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    I won’t touch turnips, collards, mustard but, strangely, I have learned to like spinach. Re the two vintage panels they seem to be an exercise in detail, similar to what da Vinci used to do. The details are wonderful but it is also great to see what you can do with just a hint of a line or expression. Classic or impressionistic? JJ can do it all. OK, did I earn my autographed shirt?

  3. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Now here I am in the middle of the United States, almost geographic middle, and I cooked turnips and turnip greens, separately and together to feed my rock crew (the stones, not the group) Anyway, some had never eaten either form.

    I love to use bacon, fat back, leftover ham, anything to flavor stuff with, greens, green beans, onion, tad of sugar. I often roast root vegetables, sweet potatoes, turnips, carrots, onions, parsnips (but those are hard to come by sometimes) I find the cooking up here to often be bland.

    The cornbread cooked for us was so bad, no one would eat it, southerner nor Yankees! We ended up throwing it away. I hope I don’t get credited with that one!

    Some of my cooking qualifies as “soul food” for obvious reasons. No one in my family owned a cook book nor a measuring implement. “Honey, just put a handful of salt in that………” which is imprecise to put it mildly!

    Love, Jackie

  4. Bryan Avatar
    Bryan

    “a handful of salt in that” Yikes-a-dilly! My ticker would just get up and leave for anything smaller than a 5 gallon soup pot that contained “a handful of salt”. But I’m one of those rare creatures that believes salt should be used with extreme care, only of necessity, and always in moderation.

    I also really like the two classic panels. Front and back on a t-shirt, you say? Sold, I say!

  5. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    When the USAF was teaching me how to fire an M-16 (well, teaching me how to field strip and clean it; I already knew how to fire a rifle), at one point the TI asked the class if anyone hunted rabbits. Several of us raised our hands, and he pointed to the nearest recruit and asked what he used to hunt them. “A twenty gauge, Sergeant,” the airman replied.

    “A shotgun? A SHOTGUN?” the TI said, incredulously. “Don’t you know what a .22 rifle is for?”

  6. Bryan Avatar
    Bryan

    Being a lousy hunter, even back when I practiced it, I’ve rarely eaten wild rabbit. We did hutch-raise rabbits in my youth, mostly for the dinner table. There was one rabbit that, somehow, ended up living in the house with us for several months. Made a pretty good pet, actually. Was litter-box trained, would go play in the yard, knew where fresh vegetables were kept in the house, and liked to cuddle on laps. His only real annoying trait was waking every day at dawn and running through the house 2-3 times, waking everyone and inviting them to greet the day.

  7. Lilyblack Avatar

    You put turnips in soups, she asked disingenuously? Seriously, why would you put turnips *and* potatoes in soup (or pot roast). I know The Man In My Life won’t put potatoes in pot roast as he says they harden on reheating. James Bear’s recipe (in American Cookery) calls for turnips insead of potatoes. Could this be the reason? Do they not get hard on reheating? Inquiring minds want to know, as reheated pot roast is a favorite late night meal of mine.

    PS, I eat cooked spinach or greens either one with at least a TBSP of vinegar. Other wise I can’t stand ’em. Bitter. But the vinegar takes that away, instantaneously.

  8. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Yes, turnips are excellent addition to pot roasts and soups. They remain soft, absorb the goodness of the meat and gravy. They also puree very beautifully and smoothly, half and half with potatoes and heavy cream. Or alone, whipped and smooth.

    By the way, after I left the cotton fields I learned to cook everything, including French, Italian and a lot of other ethnic cuisine. I love it all, Caribbean, South American countries, doesn’t matter. My main prejudices against food involve raw fish or similar flavors, strong raw onions or raw garlic, things that over power everything else. Which gets some hot and curried stuff too, nothing gets thru but hot or mouth burning sensation!

    Pot roasts can also use sweet potatoes which do not get hard upon reheating, absorb flavors beautifully, parsnips, carrots, rutabagas, celery, onions, mushrooms. I am no purist!

    Ghost, garden helper and mama are hauling in the green beans by the bushels. I was afraid of that! I may have to make my grand mama’s green beans in a jar, I don’t do frozen!

    Love, Jackie Monies

  9. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    this guy picked the wrong house. lucky for him it was an unarmed house.
    http://apnews.myway.com/article/20141014/us–zombie_santa-arrest-b94022cbbf.html

  10. Lilyblack Avatar

    Okay, I am putting a turnip in my next pot roast. But no sweet potatoes, gross! Carrots are sweet enough for me. I used four carrots in my last pot roast and the sauce was too sweet. Though it got eaten. I made the potatoes on the side, as both The Man In My Life and James Beard recommend

  11. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    I have noticed the potatoes in pot roast are a bit firmer as leftovers, but not what I would describe as “hard”. Lily, as a recommendation, I’d choose turnips the size of new potatoes, or a bit larger, and slice them in two.

    My sweet potatoes get roasted in a slow-cooker and eaten from the skins while hot, with a soupçon of butter and brown sugar, and a dash or two of cinnamon. And Munchkin, what is this “too sweet” of which you speak?

    Ah, Jackie, fresh green beans in quart jars…what was in my Grandmother’s basement right next to her jars of canned tomatoes, a quart of which I’d give most anything for now.

  12. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    If anyone is interested (or even if you’re not)…

    Ghost’s Creamy Turnip with Paprika Soup

    INGREDIENTS
    2 tablespoons olive oil
    1 ½ pounds peeled turnip bulbs, not the leafy tops, cut into 1-inch chunks
    1 large onion, cut into large dice
    1 tablespoon butter
    1 pinch sugar
    3 large garlic cloves, thickly sliced
    2 teaspoons paprika
    1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
    1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
    3 cups chicken broth, homemade or from a carton or can
    1 ½ cups half-and-half (or whole milk)
    Salt and freshly ground pepper, to taste

    DIRECTIONS
    1.Heat oil over medium-high heat in a large, deep sauté pan until shimmering.
    2.Add turnips, then onion; sauté, stirring very little at first, then more frequently, until vegetables start to turn golden brown, 7 to 8 minutes.
    3.Reduce heat to low and add butter, sugar and garlic; continue cooking until all vegetables are a rich spotty caramel color, about 10 minutes longer.
    4.Add paprika, thyme and cayenne pepper; continue to sauté until fragrant, 30 seconds to 1 minute longer.
    5.Add broth; bring to a simmer over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer, partially covered, until turnips are tender, about 10 minutes.
    6.Using an immersion blender or traditional blender, puree until very smooth, 30 seconds to 1 minute. (If using a traditional blender, vent it either by removing the lid’s pop-out center or by lifting one edge of the lid. Drape the blender canister with a kitchen towel. To ‘clean’ the canister, pour in a little half-and-half; blend briefly, then add to the soup.)
    7.Return to pan (or a soup pot); add enough half-and-half so the mixture is soup-like. Taste, and add salt and pepper if needed. Heat through, ladle into bowls, and serve.

  13. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    “Add salt” has already been done to all of our food so I don’t.

  14. Lilyblack Avatar

    Ghost, in my circle, “sweet” and “beef” do not compute. Maybe my reaction to sweet potatoes was founded by my relatives who insisted on putting gooey, syrupy, covered with marshmallows sweet potatoes on my plate at Thanksgiving and Christmas. I hated that they took up space for stuff I did like, such as corn bread, broccoli, and turkey. (my family was divided between dressing lovers and haters, like me. So the dressing-makers saved a pan of corn bread just for us. I ate it with butter and giblet gravy). I can hear it now: “Oh, Susie honey, don’t you want some of Murr’s special dressing?” “No thank you” “But you love my dressing” *Susie-pout* “I know you do. Here, let me spoon you some” “Murr, I hate dressing.” Laughter among the aunts. “Margaret, she has always hated your dressing. Remember when we caught her trying to feed it to the goldfish?” etc.

  15. Jay & Jeannie Avatar
    Jay & Jeannie

    That’s my favorite “Janis hair”!!!

  16. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    The handful of salt was my poor aunt who never did learn how to cook. My mother told her that apparently as a teen when she was trying to learn how and the story continues to be repeated for about 75 years. She does not now nor ever did consider it funny.

    Lily, I do not eat sweet potatoes with disgusting marshmallow topping either. I have been known to do a praline topping with pecans and brown sugar, however. I think that one was James Beard’s as well. I do like James Beard and his cookbooks.

    I got the tip of dipping a raw sweet potato in melted bacon fat and baking until it caramelizes from a restaurant in Vicksburg. I know you will find that one disgusting as well! Canola oil was what I had been using to keep skins moist and edible.

    I have been on a low sodium diet lo these 35 years, so I can’t stand salty stuff at all. It is not palatable to me.

    You should see these beautiful green beans we are picking through. I believe some of the purples and some of the blue lake and other pole beans are 8-10 inches long and perfect.

    Love, Jackie

  17. TruckerRon Avatar

    I prefer my sweet potatoes baked, with butter and cinnamon. Who needs anything more?

  18. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    “Dressing” (or “stuffing”, if you prefer) spans such a wide variety of cornbread-based concoctions that I couldn’t flatly say either “I love dressing” or “I hate dressing”. The former would apply to my Mom’s dressing, and to my best friend’s mom’s dressing, but to few of the other varieties.

  19. Llee Avatar

    Pot roast cooked with carrots and potatoes was a favorite. Any leftover potatoes were served in different ways, but a favorite was when Grandma would slice and skillet fry them. The absorbed roasting juices sort of caramelized. 🙂

  20. Lilyblack Avatar

    Yeah, they are fine the first day, but after that, they are not so good. I have notice redskinned potatoes stand up to that treatment longer. Your Granny is welcome to the task of fishing the potatoes out of the rest of the veggies, though. Us, we just put a saucepan on with as many potatoes as there are diners plus one for The Boy of My Life, AKA The Bottomless Pit

  21. NK in AZ Avatar
    NK in AZ

    Hi, Villagers–and JJ! Remember JJ said a while back that he might be going to comment here more one of these days? Well, that’s twice today….

  22. Granny Carol Avatar
    Granny Carol

    GR, that sounds like a tasty soup – I just might try it. I love soup any time of the year, but have never tried turnip soup. I love rutabagas, cooked along with a few potatoes and cornmeal dumplings. It is like soup since we always eat it with the pot “likker”.

  23. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Good night all. I am leaving the green beans and big chunk of ham for Mike to put away tonight. I am beat to a frazzle. The left overs go to my stone masons and gardener tomorrow who is doubling as a boat washer for Mike to get boats cleaned up.

    I have to say that the stone ditch and walls impressed our boaters, especially the professional water garden installer from Dallas who wanted to know if he was available to travel. Also my chicken farmer friend who knows how long I have been trying to get this done. He asked if I had gotten the Corps of Engineers to install it for me? I said no, divine providence had delivered a North Carolina stone mason to me. He wanted to know who designed it? I said me and the mason.

    So now I have two friends who would like to borrow him if he will travel!

    Y’all keep on cookin’, I am done!

    Love, Jackie

  24. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Granny C. put your cornmeal dumpling recipe here please. I have always wanted a good recipe for those, you are in Carolinas, right?
    They only do biscuit style dumplings in Delta where I am from but those are light, fluffy clouds, redolent of chicken stock fat and all that heavy cream I pour in to finish them.

    Love, Jackie

  25. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    G’nite, Jackie. Sleep well.

    Despite some predictions of gloom and doom on The Dark Side yesterday, it does not appear (at least, yet) that whatever Meg retrieved from the mail box was a harbinger of TEOTWAWKI. I prefer to think that it was Jimmy’s effort to show us how much a cartoon totally lacking speech can actually say. And to me it spoke volumes about the relationship that Gene and Meg have developed.

    I’m not saying it’s true in this case, but I have known men who fell in love with the child and then married the mom.

    Debbe 😉 How’s your finger, hon?

    Miz Charlotte, you’ve been quiet.