A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

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Frequently Questioned Answers II

By Jimmy Johnson

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
I’m sorry! I forgot! I told you I’d have a weekend post with the next installment of the “Frequently Asked Questions” series from 2002. And I forgot. Well, this afternoon I remembered, and here it is.

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58 responses to “Frequently Questioned Answers II”

  1. Nancy Kirk in AZ Avatar
    Nancy Kirk in AZ

    Hey! I think I’m first!!

  2. NealinBawstun Avatar

    It’s six days to Christmas and there are, like, 3000 shirts to mail. What else could be on his mind?

  3.  Avatar

    Well today didn’t go well. Remember at noon minions had not come in at all and I gave up and took a bath alone sitting on side of tub. Waiting for cpap machine they were supposed to be bringing from donation boxes that were supposed to have taken to missions but didn’t. So an hour ago they showed up after their uncle my contractor called them.

    They didn’t know anything about coming in. My neighbor was there visiting, the one who said in 20 years I had never told a lie and she was squirming at the young man’s explanation that I had NEVER said anything about working today. As my lawyer says, if you aren’t sane will more crazy clients show up in my office.

    Uncle and I had been over this with them repeatedly, nephew quit and slammed off in anger, taking my really capable young house keeper with him. Who I wanted to work. Heck, I’d have kept him too if he’d show up.

    This sounds like Debbes hen house. Worse part is they “borrowed” got advance of $1500 of salary but had pled for me to wait until after Christmas to begin paying back. Worse part is they used my sympathetic nature and fact uncle worked for me for two years to get me to let them have money which I know they won’t pay back.

    Hate drama and so does uncle, this isn’t going to end well. I also hate people who lie and aren’t even remotely reliable. And who scam people like me who are generous.

  4. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    “Sideburns, I’ve seen this photo before, except it had the caption, ‘Somewhere there’s a geek with only two wishes remaining.'”

    This is the one I remembered (pretty closely, anyway).

    http://blogitude.com/uploads/2012/01/Leia.jpg

  5. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    “No good deed goes unpunished.”

    Sadly, that is not a joke more frequently than it is.

  6.  Avatar

    Yep. So, the second uncle is off road driving until after Christmas and will fill in for manual work. He isn’t lazy and I will hire him whenever around. He has no problem with shovel and wheelbarrow. Doesn’t do laundry.

  7. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    I do laundry. Unfortunately, the commute wold be a [what I call my smart phone].

  8. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    “would be”

    Debbe got a new monitor; Ghost needs a new keyboard. Perhaps I should speak to Santa, since he wouldn’t have to bring me a Windows 8 machine now.

  9. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    Jackie, where is your renter? The gentleman who rents the back room and is in law enforcement? How are you doing on your blood oxygen?

  10. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    AND most importantly….WHERE ARE YOUR DAUGHTERS?????????

  11.  Avatar

    Renter lives there free if charge including utilities and cable, wi-fi.
    He is visiting his mama in OKC, sister in law just died of MS day before I went into hospital. Calling one of other two cardiologist groups in Tulsa to try and get sleep lab testing before Valentines. I mean two cardiologist groups I use.
    Can’t find motor half of newer cpap and minions forgot they were to bring me old machine so didn’t look for it or.bring.

    I have two others nagging me to hire them. I can’t drive so that’s issue.

  12. Mindy from Indy Avatar

    Repost (He got me!):

    on 19 Dec 2015 at 7:28 pm #
    Marie is home from the hospital! Yay! If they tried to keep her another day, I would be linking you to the live news footage of her break out. She was going home today NO MATTER WHAT! The infection is under control, and no MRSA. She still has to keep her foot elevated, so she is unhappy with that, but, being home is fine enough compensation.
    Something has set my allergies off something terrible. Hopefully the allergy medicine kicks in, and I get some sleep. Back to the grind. Who knows what awaits me there. Off to bed, 4am comes awful early.

  13. Steve From Royal Oak, Mi Avatar

    Boy I really enjoyed the FAQ strips. I actually saved them on the hard drive. When I am having a bad day, I love to look at about 50 strips that I have saved.

    I am having some trouble following some of the posts above. It’s not anyone’s fault, but I think maybe I should go to bed early tonight with my CPAC. That and the fact that we are moving <2 weeks makes focusing difficult.

  14.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Daughter said not to call if surgery went bad but to text. Other one will probably never see again. One said I could load grandson’s parts for his slide and tower in van and drive them there or ship them. One is a rock stairs on front deck.

  15. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    Once again….Jackie, where are your daughters????

  16.  Avatar

    Have not seen, only one will speak to me and briefly. Debbe they wanted money and I put it in trust for two grandchildren to educate. It was always my money, not theirs or dads but they got a lot until now. Houses, cars, college degrees, weddings. They are very suburban housewife soccer moms.

    Don’t worry, I will be OK, there are about 4 or five cats in here, adventure Dog and two middling largish dogs in breezeway to bark. One of neighbors is here across street this weekend. Good news is two elderly dogs got their own dog house done enough to move in and it has padded cell floor and heat working . Kyle my workman says they can get out of doggy door but he closed big door to heat it and he’s worried they won’t figure out how to get back inside.

  17. curmudgeonly ex-professor Avatar
    curmudgeonly ex-professor

    As the MBH is now sleeping, I opened the box and was delighted at the intense colors used for the shirts. Oh, the pink is somewhat paler, but that is the nature of that color.

    Did ascertain the likely source of the delay: while the Iuka people placed the correct zip code on the box, the PO clerk keyed in the wrong zip code, using an “8” in place of a “3”. I suppose the barcode on that stick-on label included that 8 and found it confusing with the written address and town. However, 4 days for something so simple?

  18. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    cep, USPS is very thorough and inefficient. Surprised none of the aspiring presidential candidates have not campaigned to turn it over to Jeff Bezos.

  19.  Avatar

    Almost hit “Like” button on that one, Sand. Or at least an emoticon.

    Guys I am fine. It’s the first anniversary of my mother’s death last December 18. I am an only child and only had one mother although I had several fill ins who did the best they could with the material given. I lost one of those too right ahead of Mama.

    It’s an emotional anniversary. Dickens and I are doing best we can.

  20. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Debbe 😉 I love all the versions of this song, but this, for some reason, is the one I most associate with my childhood Christmases.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwNb3RQYIAQ

  21.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Me too. For some reason I remember playing a keyboard and actually singing this in a church play wearing a beard and black suit? That is far more bizarre than me playing Salome in a supposedly Christian Passion Play one Christmas with a “professional ” traveling company where Jesus wore lifts and had b.o. And told stage director to lose the up staging witch,

    Disallusioned I was at the tender age of 14. I didn’t think anyone could upstage the Lord at Christmas,

  22. David in Austin Avatar
    David in Austin

    Regarding today’s “realtime” comic:

    Family “secret” hot chocolate recipe:

    Ingredients-

    1/4 cup Hershey cocoa powder
    2/3 cup sugar
    1/8 tsp salt
    1/3 cup hot water

    3/4 cup evaporated milk
    1/4 cup heavy cream
    3 cups milk
    3/4 tsp vanilla

    Mini marshmallows

    1) Mix first dry ingredients in 2 quart sauce pan over medium heat
    2) Once well mixed, add hot water.
    3) Continue to stir until chocolate begins to boil
    4) Add milk, condensed milk, and cream
    5) Stir frequently while heating
    6) Add vanilla, continue stirring until hot.
    7) Serve in 10-12 ounce mug with mini marshmallows

    Serves 4 (9oz servings)

  23. emb Avatar
    emb

    How come there was no notice in The Bemidji Pioneer? Or did someone here mention it?

    http://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/national-bouillabaisse-day-december-14/

    From A.Word.A.Day Mail 703. Peace, emb

  24. emb Avatar
    emb

    ‘. . . very thorough and inefficient.’ Also, overwhelmed about now. Peace, emb