Now, don’t be offended. You know I’m not talking about you, but this old cartoon from five years ago is an example of the problems I sometimes cause for myself. Arlo’s words in the last panel, “I figure grape jelly/wine…,” makes the joke very subtle. The reader must fill in a blank. I know—I certainly hope—that many readers would have no problem doing this, but looking back I know a lot of readers probably were left thinking “I don’t get it.” This could have been avoided by having Arlo say, “I figure grape jelly/wine, what’s the difference?” I have had to learn over the years that a cartoonist can’t be too obvious.
413 responses to “A Touch of Glass”
7-UP, originally Bibb’s Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda, had lithum to bring you down after the cocaine in Coca-Cola got you up. The 7 is for having one more ounce than Coke’s 6
oh, and A&W is it for root beer, if I can find Hire’s or Frostie, then maybe, and I try all that I can find
No Coors beer east of Texas! That was the whole plot of the movie “Smokey and the Bandit” (1977). The Bandit and his buddy Cletus were hired to run a truckload of Coors from Texas to Atlanta. My Dad called Coors Colorado Kool-Ade.
Good morning, Villagers.
Meh, to me Coors tastes exactly like Bud, but I am no connoisseur. Beer is fattening anyway, and “Lite” beer just has reduced alcohol. I’ll stick with wine (we drink a lot of it at our Casa and I have developed quite a taste for it) and tequila. With the occasional Scotch. Besides, wine is the only thing tThe Boss In My Life will let me drink before 8:00 P.M.
Debbe, at a local institution they’ll be dedicating and opening a new building in 12 days. The good news is the building itself is finished. The bad news is they ran out of time for properly laying the sod around it. So, on the back side of the building someone decided (are you ready for this?) to smooth the dirt and paint it green to match the grass on the other sides for the dedication. Care to guess the nature of that institution?
I NEVER know what I will find on A&J when I stagger in here at about now. AND THAT IS GOOD!
This group is just plain interesting and good. You can learn from it, laugh from it and enjoy it without fear. I am about the craziest member and I already know that. Thanks for my morning wakeup call.
Love, Jackie Monies
A govt. inst. of some sort?
Texas A & M agricultural and mechanical university? How many Aggies does it take to paint dirt green?
(I have a continuing education degree from Aggieland, so I am allowed to make an occasional joke without tarring and feathering)
Love, Jackie Monies
Forgot to mention that I lived amongst many Texans growing up and later living in Texas who told stories of their dads’ spraying the dirt/dead grass green in the yard around their swimming pools. They would jump into pool and the green dye would come off in the water.
True story.
Love, Jackie Monies
Like you, Jackie, I learn something new every time I come here. In this case, it’s that dirt not only can be painted green, but sometimes actually is. On purpose.
Reminds me of an old joke my father used to tell about being so poor growing up that every morning he had to paint shoes on his feet before leaving for school.
Why did the Aggie homecoming Queen starve to death?
They put Astroturf on the football field.
Not being facetious I will add that green dye/coloring is often mixed in with sprays put on dirt/grass by landscape companies. The spray will include grass seeds, fertilizer, soil stabilizers, depending on what is trying to be accomplished.
This method is often used by highway departments who spray it on roadsides they are trying to stabilize or get grass to grow on. They will put down things like mesh, burlap type fabric, hay and spray over it all.
I imagine that is perhaps what the institution is trying to do, as it is cheaper than sod.
(And I will mention that long, long, long ago when I was in agricultural school I did take a course in grass and sod production And , 99% of which I have forgotten) In 50 years it has all changed anyway!
Love, Jackie Monies
I once sat on a bench outside a popular barbque joint in Texas and watched dozens of people try to open a door that only opened one way. I politely told them how to get in place.
UNTIL three tall, handsome, big guys in boots and hats and Aggie belt buckles and rings did it. Then I said “Aggie door knob.”
I escaped being slaughtered by adding I had gone to A & M, as did my daughter who was presently enrolled!
Love, Jackie Monies
What do you call an Aggie four years after graduation?
Boss
The way grass grows has changed since you studied it, Jackie? Really?
I’m not an Aggie, I just like to make fun of one.
What did the mother say when she caught her daughter with an Aggie behind the barn?
“Moooo”
GR6, it might be quantum grass. You can either study or grow it but, doing one inhibits doing the other.
Yes, at any given moment you cannot precisely know both the location and rate of growth of the grass.
😉
Schrödinger’s grass?
Lily, just so you don’t do what one of my neighbors recently did, which was, as Dan Jenkins once said, “had to go to the place you go when you learn to drink whiskey too good.”
For those of you who do occasionally imbibe, you may appreciate Dan’s “Ten Stages of Drunkenness”…
1. Witty & Charming
2. Rich and Powerful
3. Benevolent
4. Clairvoyant
5. F*** Dinner
6. Patriotic
7. Crank up the Enola Gay
8. Witty & Charming, Part II
9. Invisible
10. Bulletproof
Ghost, I have seen that list, shortened , but still funny. I love Dan Jenkins. We have quite a few of his books on our shelves, but I still like “Semi-Tough” the best. “Bubba Speaks” second.
From the second: Compressing movie genres into one sentence: Historical: “That moat don’t do much good.”
emb, not only is it a state institution, it’s the state mental hospital. And, about 15 years ago, a legislative committee was scheduled to inspect the hospital — the new assistant superintendent (#2 in the pecking order) noted that the sprinklers had been misaligned and some patches of grass had turned brown. She had that painted green.
I am a lousy story/joke teller. Forgot to say the one-way door at BBQ joint did NOT have a doorknob on side you couldn’t open, just on “right side” but people just kept reaching for the invisible knob.
They did call me “M’am” in the loveliest of Texas accents.
Love, Jackie Monies
Off to put on some clothes and plant some okra and basil and anything else that likes hot weather. Some more cucumbers and climbing stuff that goes vertically.
Love, Jackie Monies
I’m not planting any okra in my garden. The Man In My Life might cook it! Basil is already high
Is this turning into an elderly hippie commune? Talk of grass, getting high on basil and that nekkied lady over there. The 60s are over. Grow up,act like you are over 60.