I’m late posting. I’m going to be on the road in a few minutes, and my waking hours have been a bit hectic. I won’t be posting Friday, but I’ve arranged for you to peruse a week-long series from 2002, wherein Arlo and Janis answer frequently asked questions about whatever it is they do. I hope you enjoy it. Just click on the link beneath the cartoon to get started.
A&J FAQs
By Jimmy Johnson
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77 responses to “A&J FAQs”
Aaaand, just like that, the snow has just stopped in Eufaula. At least for the moment.
I suppose I must be living right. (Riiiiight)
The case in which my smart phone resides has now become so beaten-up that its replacement is indicated. (“Greater love hath no phone case…”) The current one cost $90 several years ago, primarily because it is (or was) allegedly “waterproof”. But now the smart phones themselves are probably more water resistant than the case ever was (and it certainly isn’t now, due the parts of it I’ve broken). Shopping for its replacement revealed that a non-“waterproof” version of the same case, but which should still help protect the phone from drops, would be $55, including tax. Hmm.
Then I found an online purveyor of the exact same case for, wait for it, $16.82 including tax and shipping. And with the warning “Only one left”. Needless to say, it is now on the way to Eufaula. To make it even more perfect, just the other day, the same as Janis, I counted the contents of my change jar, which came to $19.80. Who says there’s no Santa Claus?
Ghost, it hasn’t stopped here in Tulsa. I stepped out on my porch with a ruler and measured 1 3/4 inches of snow standing on the flat top rail. Looks like a picture-perfect White Christmas scene outside except that we’re over a week out yet. Glad you found a good case. For the last three years I have been using one from a company called Supcase. They average $10 or more less than the ones named for the cute aquatic mammals and seem to be more durable. They have them for most phones and IPad and Samsung tablets.
Looks like 5-6 inches of snow outside my hospital window. no one is outside in snow. Very scenic.
No apparent accumulation here on ground or yard furniture that I can see from the house. Of course, that may be quite different on bridges and overpasses.
Clearly, YMMV.
Broken Arrow looks like Christmas card.
Spending my waking hours trying to get people to bake or buy, donate for husky rescue. http://www.huskyhalfwayhouse.org
Or donate or adopt an Angel Tree child around our lake area. We have so many now because of job loss and COVID-19 because we are tourist recreational area, no industry.
Go to Jackie Monies personal page for more information on Facebook. I am using my time bedbound to try and help others. Help me if you can.
Thank you Jimmy Johnson I love you and our Village.
Not a single post ALL day? Has no one an amusing thought today? I have worked myself into Exhaustion so my humor is still here, along with my humer, tibia and fibula!
Post jokes!
6-8 weeks ago, after finally figuring out something my MBH would like for a gift, I managed to buy one sneakily and have it delivered. It has been sitting in its resealed (well, I had to check it) box here in our TV room, teasing said MBH ever since.
Two days ago, a different gift-giver sent a similar item – and carefully hand made, at that! True, others can use the item, but we have no others here. We had 3 such items before I decided one needed replacing, but now we have 5 for the two of us.
Funny? Only if using the word to indicate oddity.
.
Dec. 11th 8:54 pm query is still unanswered.
.
Wish I knew some jokes, but those I know are too old for most Villagers.
Here’s an old “pecan” of a joke:
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts. “One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me,” said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.
Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for you, one for me, one for you, one for me ….”
He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
“Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls!”
The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.” When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”
The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth. Let’s see if we can see the Lord…?” Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.
At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done….”
They say the old man had the lead for a good half-mile before the kid on the bike passed him.
Love the nutty joke!
Jackie – here’s an oldie but IMHO goodie
‘The Middle Wife’
by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’
‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’
She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)’Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe’.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.’
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.
This anecdote appeared in the 2002 collection of delivery stories I’ll Never Have Sex with You Again! by Bleidner, Larry and Irene Zutell, where it was titled “Show-and-Tell” and the precocious child who told the story was named ‘Anna.’ It was presented in that book with no additional information given about “Betsy, a grammar-school teacher from Miami” who provided the account as something that happened to her “a few years back,” which makes gathering enough information to determine whether the account is real or not difficult. Since then, it has made the round of email funnies with very few changes other than the names of the characters and losing the accreditation to the authors who originally published it.
Jackie has mentioned today on FB that they might spring her to go home tomorrow. Yay. I bet Dickens will raise a storm wagging his tail when she comes back. Ghost has taken him to visit her once last week, but home will be even better.
I can’t go home until I can truthfully tell them our house is legally handicapped accessible for my wheelchair and walker. If it is not they must send me to a nursing home from here until house can accommodate me in wheelchair. I will be a long time before I walk again
Right now it looks like another month of nonweight bearing status
The use of wheelchair may be permanent because the damage to right leg is so bad I have no “good leg.”
However I am ready to go home to Ghost, Dickens and Skipper and my two Garfields.
Jackie, don’t get discouraged about the wheelchair. My orthopedic doctor initially wasn’t sure that they’d be able to repair my knees sufficiently for me to walk. Then he expected that I would have a very limited range of motion. Since then, I’ve recovered most of the full range of motion, though not full load-bearing through the range. It’s difficult to walk down hills or steps, but still, I walk. It’s been seven years ago, tomorrow, since I fell and tore both knees apart. It took a while to recover, but finally I did, well enough. I am praying that you, too, recover in time.
David the problem is right knee is bone on bone none supporting now and cancer doctor would not allow me to go off treatment for surgery. I was going into wheelchair ahead of my leg break!
So I fell and broke the GOOD REPLACEMENT leg instead of bad unrepaired leg!!
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