When the umpteenth variation of “Dead of the Living Night” comes on television, it’s tempting to deride the caliber of entertainment available today. And I do, but as human beings we’ve always had something of a spotty track record when it comes to spectacle. Imagine a huge tent filled with people waiting for somebody to be shot out of a cannon. Not long ago, that was entertainment. Before that, it was bear-baiting and feeding people to wild animals. Maybe we’ve come further than we think.
Big Shot
By Jimmy Johnson
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402 responses to “Big Shot”
Giada is definitely less pneumatic since the baby came. She claimed in an interview that was due to postpartum weight loss, but it seems suspicious to me that they didn’t get even larger. I suspect a cosmetic procedure may have been involved.
Jackie, I too am a ‘Nam vet. I don’t care how much talent Hanoi Jane might or might not have, she’s still an un-person to me. I might add, btw, that I have a few friends, both liberal and conservative who served in (or during) ‘Nam and they all feel the same way: the fact that Congress never declared war against North Viet-Nam is the only thing that keeps what she did from being treason, as defined in the US Constitution.
Last night at my SF club, we had an auction that included some mounted posters. There were some of them I might have liked owning, but not, TYVM, the one for Barbarella. My sister knew better than to bid on it for me because I wouldn’t want to have it in the house.
Jackie: and that is why, and that is why…I just grow zucchini! But if those were my squash, I would prolly blast those bugs off with a hose and then apply soapy water. Just sayin”
Ghost: and that is why, and that is why…I garden in my running shorts and old, worn out running shoes and a tank that says “Compost Happens!” I get tan and sweaty and can just run under the sprinkler when I get hot.
And I bet you look adorable doing it, Munchkin. Unless your G27 is showing. 🙂
Another Dispatch From A Hospital Room:
Jackie, I don’t really have an opinion about snakes on a plane, as I’ve never flown an airplane with a snake or snakes on board…that I know of. There was one incident many years ago involving a different critter, though. I just taken off in a Cessna Skyhawk on a solo flight and was making a left turn-out when I heard a long, long wailing sound. There are audible alarms on most light planes (stall warming horns, gear up horns, etc.), but my first thought was, “What the hell warning is that?” I rolled the wings level and the “alarm” ceased. I banked right to depart the pattern, and the “alarm” sounded again.
It was at that point that I put the pieces together. There had been a friendly tabby hanging around the FBO office for a couple of days. In the summertime, we normally left the pilot-side doors open to prevent heat buildup in the aircrafts’ cabins. The Cessna is a low-wing aircraft, making it simple for a cat looking for a cozy place for a nap to hop into. That cozy place was up under the right side of the instrument panel.
Having seen what a hysterical cat could do with teeth and claws, I didn’t like to think what could happen in the confined space of a 172’s cabin if the cat had come out fighting. Although this won’t win me any admirers here, I opened the window next to me, my plan being to sacrifice my left hand if necessary to save my face and eyes. (I remember wondering idly whether a cat would land on its feet from 800 feet.) Slow, careful turns got me back in the pattern, and I landed without incident or any additional “alarms”. After I taxied to the ramp and shut down, I popped my door and got out, wondering how I would get the cat out of the cabin. The gray streak that passed close by me, never to be seen again, answered that question.
I explained what had happened to my boss, a laconic older guy and the only pilot I’ve ever known to accumulate over 35,000 hours of flying time with no military or airline time. He looked at me and deadpanned, “If you can find the owner, see if you can collect for a sight-seeing flight.”
Doc just got here. Stable x-ray. Going home. As soon as discharge paperwork is processed, anyway.
Glad to hear it, Ghost.
What with my squatting, bending over, and sprinkler-running, I wouldn’t go bail on any part of me that might show, if only momentarily. But our back yard is fenced and surrounded by trees, so I don’t worry much about that.
I love Tommy Lee Jones movies ( except when he tries to “act”), but I doubt if I could stand to be around him for five minutes.
The late Phillip Seymour Hoffman was a brilliant actor and his death is a tremendous loss, but what a weirdo. It seems that is common in Hollywood.
Ghost – while you wait you might want to check out Digg.com. I use Digg Reader as an RSS feed manager to help me keep up with some other blogs that I enjoy. Naturally they dump me on their main page when I get out of Reader. Digg is described as a news aggregator. They post links to quite a variety of stories – serious, amusing, scientific, and simply odd – and a good range of viewpoints, foreign and domestic. Today you can learn about the death of the world’s oldest European eel (at 155), Europe’s attitudes toward American chickens, and a tick whose bite might cause an allergy to meat.
Jerry: Just imagine your reaction if you were told that you would spend most of the year unemployed, then maybe get a job lasting a few weeks through a process of constant humiliation. What other type of person would it attract?
It will not surprise anyone to learn I have nudist friends who garden in the buff, although not in America. I said I would be afraid of snakes, ticks, stickers, mosquitoes and okra, but apparently that isn’t a problem in their country.
They own large acreage and a long driveway and fenced, obscured garden spot. One day my friend was out weeding in the nude except for tennis shoes I think when a family of door-to-door evangelists came calling, Bible in hand.
My friend was wearing a hat, forgot that. Head of household says, “Sir, cover yourself immediately, you are exposing yourself to my wife and daughters!”
Friend takes off hat and does a sweeping bow, ending with putting hat in hand at waist and says, “I believe you are trespassing, sir, but pray go ahead with your presentation.”
He said the women looked like they might want to stay but the father hustled everyone out immediately while calling down the wrath of God on my friend.
Love, Jackie
I don’t have too much trouble with the dreaded SVB. The first thing I do is NEVER plant the squash in the same area as last year. The second thing I do is till the heck out of the area that I’m planting with summer squash. The goal is to turn the soil, expose any possible larvae, then allow the sun or birds to kill. I may also get lucky and the mechanical action may squish a few grubs. The third is to plant more than I expect to need, so I can manage if I lose a vine or two for any reason.
I’ve heard that row covers early in the season (while the moths are breeding) will help, and that you can wrap the stems near the ground with strips of aluminum foil to deter the grub attack. You can also plant two crops, one after the moths have bred, for a later harvest. Some people also inject *Bacillus thuringiensis” or Bt liquid into stems to kill possible borers already in the hollow stems. Also, if you have a true vining squash you can mound moist soil over the stem well above the base while the plant is smaller. It may develop adventitious roots that can support part of the plant if the original root system is lost due to SVB.
David, I KNEW you knew more than me! Are you a Texas Master Gardener? Or better yet, are you a horticulture professor?
I got so desperate one year (I love squash) that I put all new potting soil in big planters and planted my squash in there and they still got the borers!
Weird thing is we used to grow tons of squash at grandmother’s in Louisiana with nary a problem except what to do with the surplus!
That blog for gardening, Dave’s ______ something, is that you by any chance?
Ghost, sorry, my nude gardener is male and I don’t have a photo anyway. He’s Mike’s friend too, so it’s cool.
Love, Jackie
Yay! Home again, home again, jigity jig!
Geez, Jackie, why don’t you know some female nude gardeners?? That you have pics of. 🙂
Lily, something I just thought of…be on the lookout for drones. Otherwise, you might show up on CandidWetTshirtGardenersofEastTX.com. 😉
Thanks, Ruth Anne! I’ve heard of Digg but have never taken the time to look into it. As you may have guessed, I have rather catholic interests and eclectic tastes, so it sounds like that site might be right down my alley. I’ll check it out as soon as I get over my case of hospital-lag.
Heh, Ghost, the drones would have to have pretty strong magnification to embarrass me.
As for news, any that I get (I don’t require much) comes from FB, Wikipedia, or Fox. Especially since I am not a team sports enthusiast, one look per week on FOX News is enough for me.
A check of the InterWebNet uncovered (no pun intended) the video “Naked Gardening”, featuring a British couple named Ian and Barbara Pollard. However, it seemed it was entitled “Naked Gardening” in the same manner as the TV show “The Naked Chef”. In other words, no actual nudity occurred. Pity, as I believe that watching Barbara engage in naked horticulture would have been…interesting. Lovely gardens, though.
And then there was this… http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/naked-gardening-u-k-s-countryside-its-thing-n116696
And I did learn that the first Saturday of each May has been designated as World Nude Gardening Day. Mark your calendar for next year, ladies. I’ll send my drone by. 😉
Weren’t their lupines just absolutely gorgeous?
In New Zealand and Australia there are a lot of naturists which is what they call them there. Apparently you can go anywhere, biking, hiking, sailing, to beach, down streets and it is not going to get you arrested.
But I hear people are polite and not offensive in behavior, what with being British.
Love, Jackie
Can’t hear of Lupines without thinking of John Cleese
Ghost and Jackie, I read recently that the “Naked Gardeners” were splitting up and may have to sell the home and gardens. Too expensive and time-consuming for one to do it alone.
Here is one site where you can find local newspapers from the USA and around the world: http://www.onlinenewspapers.com/usstate/usatable.htm
The link is for the USA papers but if you click on the online newspapers at the upper left it will let you choose which country you want.
Glad to hear your mom is on her way home. Today they will let my new great-niece and her mom come home too. Saturday seems to be a good day.
No, Dave’s Garden isn’t me. In fact, it isn’t him anymore either. He sold the site and customer base to someone else. I do frequent that website, and the alternative “All Things Plants.” My gardening expertise is some doing, and more reading. Until this year, with the wheelchair, I usually tried to grow 20-25 different types of tomatoes. Normally I will grow a minimum of two of each type, and 3-4 is better. I know of people [hobbyists, not pros] that grow in the vicinity of a a hundred types per year. There are thousands of tomato varieties. Depending on the source, the number may be from 4000 to 8000! I’ve grown a very small sampling of that list. Favorites for the south are open-pollinated ‘Indian stripe’, ‘Cherokee purple’, ‘Kelloggs Breakfast’, ‘Arkansas Traveler’, ‘Bradley’, and Marglobe. Hybrid types that have done well for me include ‘Big Beef’, ‘Jet Star’, ‘Celebrity’, and one called ‘Phoenix.’ I also love to grow cherry tomatoes. There are lot’s of red cherries, I usually grow ‘Sweet 100’ or ‘Sweet million’ as well as ‘Husky Red Dwarf Cherry.’ A couple of yellow cherry types that I’ve found to be prolific and delicious are ‘Sun gold’ and ‘Sun Sugar.’ There is also an heirloom type mixed color cherry that I love called ‘Isis candy.’ It is a bi-color red/yellow that looks a lot like a cat’s-eye marble. When ripened on the vine they are sweet and full of flavor. There’s also a new crossed variety, but open-pollinated, that is orange [lots of other orange tomatoes, too]. It has the advantage of growing well in the heat, developing large tomatoes, and producing a prolific crop. It is called ‘Sweet Ozark Orange.’ The grower is a member of the Dave’s Garden forum and is making seeds freely available.
There’s an internet meme that made some rounds on Facebook that diagrammed the paucity of reading. Part of the graphic stated, “reading one hour a day in your chosen field will make you and international expert in 7 years.” I’ve read substantially more than an hour a day about vegetable gardening (and tomatoes) for the past six years… I don’t claim expert, but I do at least feel I’m moderately educated on the subject.
The text of the meme:
1) Thirty-three percent (33%) of high school graduates never read another book for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. [emphasis added]
2) Fourty-two percent (42%) of college graduates never read another book after college
3) Seventy percent (70%) of US adults have not been in a book store in the last five years [not sure if e-books or Amazon effects this number].
4) Eighty percent (80%) of US families did not buy or read a book last year.
5) The more a child reads, the more likely the are able to understand the emotions of others.
6) Reading one hour per day in your chosen field will make you an international expert in 7 years.
Almost put that “leapin’ lupines” on the comment, Lily. I was sheltered and not exposed to much until I got out on my own, hah! I meant on flowers. Then when I got to college second time around I worked in horticulture farm and greenhouses, which broadened knowledge a lot.
First lupines I saw were Texas bluebonnets because my grandmother had a plant she called a bluebonnet but was actually a Virginia something or other with little bloom to it. Then I saw a field of bluebonnets! Oh my lord!
Then I got off a plane in Maine and saw fields of tall lupines. Bluebonnets on steroids!
I have asked to be cremated and my ashes scattered in a field of bluebonnets in Texas. My daughter says she will walk deep into the field and not the shoulder so the tourists don’t stomp on me.
Love, Jackie
Heh, “Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. … ” Sir Francis Bacon. I used to know the name of the use of “man” to describe a human of either sex, but I have forgotten it, along with the term to describe repelling of formerly colonial names, like Mumbai and Myanmar. First time I read “When a man is small” by the very female Mary Frances Kelly Fisher it threw me a little. As for me, it’s a poor week when I don’t read at least one book. I remember at a party when a doctor friend walked into our library and commented that he hadn’t read a non-medical book in years. The Boss Of My Life smiled sweetly and said she read medical journals on her lunch break.
David, about books, I read by the age of 3 and have just kept on reading, going through all the books in my school library by the age of 8. I devoured books in those days, swallowing them whole.
When we lived in Houston, and even now, we have library with real books. In Houston it was large and had a ladder that rolled around room to reach top shelves. That room had no drapes and totally mystified the neighbors.
Why did we have a ladder? Had we actually read those books or were they for decoration?
Our library now is small, dedicated to Mike’s sailing books but we both still read. I like real books with paper but find I do a lot of reading on net. I am incurable and curious like Ghost about so many things.
Your knowledge on tomatoes is impressive. I need to get back reading gardening blogs. We have several good ones here in OK>
Love, Jackie