Well, maybe not a new family, exactly. This old classic is from the spring of 1997, not long before Arlo had his hair cut. Obviously, this site has been limping along, lately. I’ve been very busy with other things, but I haven’t forgotten about you, appearances to the contrary. Actually, I am traveling this week. I am in Memphis, and I have a good excuse! Yesterday, I was privileged to be among several cartoonists assembled at St. Jude’s Research Hospital to draw for some of the young patients there. It was a great day, but I’m looking forward to getting back to work.
Busted!
By Jimmy Johnson
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297 responses to “Busted!”
sand, I’m thinking that Photoshop would have been greatly prized back in the day when, post-latest-purge, it became necessary to doctor the previous year’s photos of the CP leadership standing on the wall of the Kremlin reviewing the May Day parade.
I’ll look forward to perusing the article on the HCM Trail when I have time.
Jackie, thanks for the cookie recipe! Sounds great! As for you and your mouth, you have not yet managed to offend me-and no one has the right to never be offended-but should you ever, I can just keep scrolling down. I don’t have to read what you wrote. And, others might like it. Glad your life is going well.
Ghost Sweetie, sounds like you’re about to have some fun. 🙂
Happy May Day, or as some of us say, Happy Beltaine!!
OH, and Jackie, I’m with you on Dwight Yoakam! I do love to hear him sing.
I’d even drink the beer, but it’s have to be good German beer, not any wimpy American swill. 😉
Ghost, I thought maybe Jimmy was referring to the issues with posting during his prolonged absence, as well as Arlo getting caught peeking.
One of those days. Drove to work with little traffic when suddenly I realize that I have a Dr. Appointment. I pull out the card and realize that it is for 9:00, so I relax and drive back. On the way back home before going to the office, I get temporarily blinded by the light and hit a pot hole the size of Rhode Island that I have been dodging for weeks on the way home.
Flat tire. Pull out the jack and decide to move the car further away from the road as the cars are going 70 MPH and I don’t want to get hit. So now I am jacking it up in the dirt, so naturally the car falls off the jack. Decide that I have had a AAA card since 1987 and never used it except to tow my kid’s cars and the guy comes out and changes it like I was running the Indy 500. While I was waiting, I canceled the appointment, but then after he changes the tire, I called and told them that I would be 10 minutes late. Once I tell the story, the nurses are taking side bets on how high my BP would be. Normally, with medication, it is 110/65. Today it was 140/70. Dr. was pleased that after that morning, that it did not spike even more.
So I got that going for me.
Debbe: “I’ve had sleepless nights too, they put you in a strange, altered mind of alertness.”
At some point your body exhausts its normal supply of glucose, it also uses all the glycogen stored in the liver (glucagon INCREASES blood glucose by activating breakdown of liver glycogen and enhancing liver glucose synthesis), and you’re left running on adrenaline…
My best (worst) hallucination brought on by too little sleep (too many interruptions because dispatchers wouldn’t take no for an answer!) had me pulling a priority load the instant I was legally able to do so down I-15 behind a white, bobtailing rig (no trailer). Without warning it split into about a dozen pieces that flew up into the sky… I took the next exit and had a good long nap. I was still on time for delivery; it was the pickup time that had been so critical. With me being short on sleep I had miscalculated the time required to deliver on time and panicked myself into driving too long on the first leg of the trip.
Never again!
One of the nicer things about trucking for us company drivers (meaning we’re not owner-operators) is that we’re not expected to carry the truly heavy tools and spare parts needed for flats, blowouts, and other major repairs. It would severely cut down on our carrying capacity to do that, so we only carry a few hand tools and spare bulbs, extra oil, washer fluid, etc. to handle the small stuff.
I recently dreamed that Dispatch was telling me that because my load was so light (insulated concrete forms: Styrofoam™-like blocks tied together with plastic rods which are assembled like Lego™ blocks before pouring concrete into them) that I didn’t need to get my blown tire replaced. That would’ve been true had it not been a steer tire!
See https://prezi.com/y3f0ixw1zkvb/insulated-concrete-forms/ for info about them.
“Without warning it split into about a dozen pieces that flew up into the sky…”
I wish that would work on some people I know.* 🙂 Also, since I’m getting a hair cut on my lunch break, it would be interesting if I could cause my pneumatic and pulchritudinous hair stylist’s clothing to do that…but I won’t go there.
*No one here, of course.
Dear Jackie Monies, Happy to see your posts and learn your latest news. As I’ve said before, I’ve never noticed that anyone is offended by your posts. There is one person who seems to doubt your existence; not the same as being “offended”. I know you are a real and very genuine person, and the other Villagers appear to feel the same way, so let’s return to the way things used to be here. Love and best wishes, Charlotte.
Well, I have missed you all a thousand times myself, so I’d just read and wish I could say something! Oh yeah, I am most real person in Village probably! And the person who doubts it is among those who I think sees ghosts and hallucinates, but I never say anything about that out of politeness myself.
I’ve been known to carry on polite conversations with those with dementia, medically or drug induced, what with being a sweet Southern woman, not easily shocked. We are like that.
Trucker, not you, I have done a lot of long haul driving, pushing, and you do hallucinate. The nonstop adventure sailors do too. I have heard some real doozy stories from the sleep deprived sailors.
Love, Jackie
Yes, Arlo, that is the aviation meaning of “mayday”.
During Gulf War II, the story was that USAF pilots would break ground and fly into the wind, while Iraqi AF pilots would break wind and fly into the ground.
Off to see what my pneumatic and pulchritudinous hair stylist is wearing today. 😉
Since we have a break in the atmosphere, as it were, I will tell you Ghost that much to my disappointment Victoria’s does not have a size that will fit me yet, despite the reduction in sizes, I tried. And I cannot for the life of me understand why ANYONE in my particular size would want to or need to purchase anything that involves padding, enhancement or pushing toward one’s chin. Avoiding that is as hard as finding the sizes!
And I went in search of some good foul weather gear and arrived at a size XL in men’s, no women’s would zip. Jacket was $325 and I blanched at that. Don’t know how I will solve the problem of the bib and suspenders on the bottoms? Maybe Jimmy can do us Janis in those lederhosen, did she cross or spread the suspenders? The pants were another $195. Not something one buys casually I suppose.
Love, Jackie
For the record, Pneumatic and Pulchritudinous Hair Stylist was wearing black skinny jeans with a loose flowing top that was half back lace and half practically nothing (sheer material). Arlo would have appreciated this…as usual, one of my favorite moments came when she bent over to get her money bag out of her bottom desk drawer. (For some reason, I never seem to have exact change with me. 😉 ) I’m not sure if her black bra was from Vickie’s Secret, but I am sure it was not padded.
As Frasier once said about his ex-wife Lilith when he thought she was making a play for him, “I don’t care if she’s wearing a bra that pushes her breasts up to Canada!” Nonetheless, Jackie, I wish you good fortune in realizing your dream to find one the proper size. (Updates appreciated. 😉 )
Also, Jackie, I used to always carry a full rain suit with me back in my Gold Wing riding days. The lowers had a bib-and-suspender set-up, but with a single fixed strap behind and two adjustable-for-length straps in front with fasteners. Of course, I suppose the front straps could be crossed, but in your case that might just lead to something that looks like a photo from a bondage magazine. (So I’ve been told.)
Karma 1, Perp 0
http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2014/01/suspect_in_downtown_shooting_b.html
As I’ve mentioned previously, self-inflicted orchiectomies are not than uncommon on the mean streets. I always use protection (a/k/a a holster).
Ghost, the last line in that story says the police haven’t identified either man. That shouldn’t be too hard, you’ll know him by the way he walks!
I would just like to point out that it’s the first of May, and both Arlo and Janis must be aware of the outdoor activity that’s considered to start today.
As one of the commenters to the self-inflicted orchiectomy article said, “That’s nuts!”
The report was that the robber and robbery victim were “neighbors”. If you’re gonna rob someone, make sure it’s someone who knows where you live.
I suspect than rather than a robbery gone wrong, it may have been another kind of deal gone wrong.
If “thug” is now politically incorrect, can “robber” be far behind? May I suggest “wealth redistribution specialist”?
Jackie, VERY glad to have you back. Please stay.
OF due 1838-1858 CST. emb
http://www.nps.gov/features/yell/webcam/oldFaithfulStreaming.html
I don’t think so, Ghost. That one is synonymous with tax collector, which is a highway robber with a government license.
Came down with a sore throat last night… the good news is this baritone now can sing bass and nail the C below the bass cleff. I just pulled up Lee Marvin’s “I was born under a wand’rin star” (Paint Your Wagon) on YouTube and sang along with him.
“. . . good German beer, not any wimpy American swill.” [face]. Not sure if face means “Don’t take this seriously.” or “Don’t take offense if you really like ‘wimpy American swill’.”
Whatever, there are lots of craft and moderate sized breweries that make beers, ales, PAs, IPAs, stouts, porters, lagers, and pilsners that are as good as imports. And not all imports are really imports, or at least not overseas imports. Guinness Stout is now brewed in Canada, and there are local American stouts that are just as good. I will be having one of the above with supper, on the patio. About 71F out there, and the flowering crab is leafing out.
Peace, emb
Can’t remember the details [Wiki probably can] but “thug” has ethnic origins: some nation’s ruler’s heavies. I will continue to use thug as a legit word, but probably only in contexts where the perp* is clearly not black. The way to defeat PC is often to play such games. Pain.
Peace, emb
Just caught up reading you guys again, back with a new printer so I can print my own airline tickets. What a world has evolved since I gave up flying! Got a better printer for fraction of old one, on sale, does everything, wireless, etc. Don’t remind me of the $6000 one I used to have that was the size of a washing machine, faxed and copied, didn’t do emails of course or wireless or photos and took a personal call from a tech to change the ink!
Another Ghostly update, read your hairdresser report. Jackie wore the tight black skinny jeans and a sheer see through print tunic, with a flesh colored personal garment underneath that doesn’t show at all. The computer tech waited on me efficiently and expeditiously, saved me a bunch of money and then carried my new printer out to van for me, leaving two fat ladies at the counter to cool their heels. Offered to come work on my computer for me at house but I told him my live-in deputy sheriff was going to help me. Didn’t mention deputy has a 90# girl friend who could probably dismember me, trained by FBI dad whom I know also!
Anyway, clean living and food restraint has rewards.
Love, Jackie