Flippin’ Mess

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Today’s retro Sunday cartoon is from 2005, almost exactly 10 years ago. The observant among you probably will notice that the set of Arlo & Janis changes capriciously, especially in the kitchen. The cupboards and counter tops constantly change style and color from day to day. The stove above is free-standing; often it is surrounded by cabinets. I hope this doesn’t bother you. I probably should have invented standard interiors for the family long ago, but I just never felt it was necessary. For one thing, the backgrounds in the strip are minimal, to say the least. The cabinetry is often a suggestion of cabinetry, as in the above example. If my interiors were more lavish and more recurring, I’m certain I would have developed a standing set. Or maybe I’m just lazy. How are you in New England holding up? How goes the Blizzard of ’15? We were talking about Massachusetts just last week, about how many A&J readers there are in that area. Hang in there, Boston.

102 responses to “Flippin’ Mess”

  1. The Maine State Ferry Service has cancelled all service for the entire day. This is a very rare occurrence, and I’m glad I’m not at work today – we wouldn’t be running, we’d be sitting around while the boat stays tied to the dock. My usual snow drifts are already 3 feet deep, and counting…

  2. Reminds me of an egg boiling incident that involved Mike having to not only repaint the ceiling but scrape and re-plaster it.

    I think “sets” would be a negative.

  3. There used to be gags based on Ludwig getting confused because Janis kept making Arlo rearrange the furniture. (Until perhaps that became “sexist”? Or “animalist”?). So if I thought about it at all, it was probably that it was just an implied gag about Janis constantly making Arlo remodel the kitchen.

  4. Denise, I suspect I’d always be happy to see you. 😉

    No, Jackie, I don’t have “clown” pants with “clown” pockets. When I’m dressed up, my flashlight and some other “necessities” live in my inside suit jacket pockets, and when I’m dressed down, in the side pockets of my cargo pants. I do love my cargo pants, though…six pockets for all my “necessities”. Otherwise I’d probably have to start toting a man purse.

    I am beginning to rethink any dress items that look, as I mentioned, too “tactical” since the incident in Florida when a 43-year-old man in a Walmart saw a 62-year-old get out of his car in the lot and holster a handgun before entering the store. Obviously never considering that the older man might be a LEO or a permitted concealed carrier (which he was), the younger decided he posed a danger to the people in the store and, rather than calling the police or notifying store security, went all sheepdog, grabbed the older man in a choke hold and took him to the floor, yelling “He’s got a gun!”

    As you’d expect, the younger man went directly to jail without collecting $200, charged with battery. It would be easy to make some snide remarks about his judgment or lack thereof, but I later read that even though bond had been set for his release, he was still being held under a provision of Florida law dealing with mental health issues and involuntary commitment. I truly hope he gets some help. If he had done that to the wrong person, he might be being cremated rather than committed.

    But fortunately, cargo pants seem to be fairly ubiquitous these days, at least the $20 ones from Wrangler, if not the $60 ones from 5.11 Tactical or Blackhawk.

  5. Jackie, an additional Leatherman is not in my forseeable future.

    GR6, I live most of year in cargo shorts. Pockets are perfect for all those items I need and come in handy for reaching must items will driving, but maintaining their security. Carry the PST on a good belt, covered by the untucked T. Extra folding blade knife in pocket and sometimes a third knife on aforementioned belt. I further carry a ‘go to war’ bag in my vehicle. Loon teases me a about that bag; still it has kept her dry in unexpected rain and provided comfort for the occasional owie.

  6. it would have to be that way, no man is going to clean batter off a ceiling as well as a woman, needs more than a quick wipe to get “most of it off” Reminds me when Janis was disgusted of the filth on top of the ceiling fan blades and Arlo said that’s why I never look up there

  7. IMHO, Cargo pants and shorts are God’s answer to blue jeans, i.e.,dungarees as my Daddy called them. We couldn’t wear them at Catholic High, so I never had more than a pair even over the last few years. Being”husky” I never found a pair of blue jeans that I could feel comfortable wearing. Cargo pants are made for me. Now, if they will just make a cargo pants suit, I could wear that to Church on Sunday since I always wear a white shirt and tie just as Daddy did.

  8. Good plan with your “war bag”, sand. It amazes me how many people will launch off on a 200-mile day-trip drive with only the clothes on their backs and what’s in their pockets…no first aid kit, no extra car and house keys, no change of clothes, no extra walking shoes, no emergency water or food, no emergency cash and pre-paid debit card, no flashlight and extra batteries, no emergency blanket, no poncho or rain jacket, no heavy coat in cold weather, etc. Having a breakdown or losing your wallet, purse or car keys can quickly turn into an emergency when you are far away from home. Or these days, even close to home.

    A lot of people make fun of “preppers” (I do, too, sometimes), but that’s just common sense prepping.

  9. domaucan1: “if they will just make a cargo pants suit….” Buy the LL Bean khaki cargo pants and their like colored four pocket travel jacket; looks dressy, yet gives you twelve pockts. 🙂 < emoji

  10. Bill (The Science Guy) Nye on MSNBC: “I just want to introduce the idea that this storm (Juno) is connected to climate change.”

    Oh, good; I was wondering if a major winter storm in the northeastern US occurring in wintertime might be due to something paranormal like witchcraft or sorcery.

    Note to “Science Guy”: Trying to link a single weather event in a single location to something as complex as global climate change may indicate you are not doing good science.

  11. sandcastler™: Based on your obvious interests in science and technology, plus your military background, here is a blog you (and others) may find both entertaining and enlightening.


    I have profited from blogs you have mentioned here, so perhaps this will partially return the favor.

  12. I find the theme distressing on several counts.

    I am of the male persuasion and I cook a number of dishes–some of them command performances.

    When I cook, there is no cleanup to be done except sometimes the last-step cooking and prep utensils and they are probably in the sink, “soaking”.*

    I just fixed my breakfast and as I sit in my office typing this and eating same (alternate moments) ALL of the dirty dishes in the house are here at my desk with me.

    I share or have shared the kitchen with one or more on my family members who seem to have sworn an oath to never wash, rinse and dry a sharp knife; clean a sauce pan or pot if any remain in a cupboard; or wash a cast-iron skillet if there are any left in the drawer.

    Given the size of our kitchen (our old camper had more counter space) since the Great Downsizing, the surprise is not that there is sometimes tension, but that the EMTs have not been here since we moved in. (It appears that the house was previously occupied by tweekers and there may well have been a ringdown to the County dispatch center. But Elkhorn had its street names and house-numbers changed at the Occupation by the City of Omaha, so they dispatchers don’t know out address.

    *A family legend (based on elaborations of facts) involves people making a fuss because she was picking up your plate and fork while you still had a bite of pie left.

  13. GR6, thanks for the link, but you humble me with thy praise. I know my grandfather started me at age eight on to the dark path. Who but a demon maker would teach a young lad to handle and learn to shoot a single shot .22 rifle. I still own and treasure that rifle.

  14. That was best crime report taker they could have sent me. Really nice young officer and we hit it off both philosophically and conservatively. I am definitely pro cops, so I had better not get started on one of my favorite soap boxes!

    Ghost, I own two nice Smith and Wesson revolvers, one a 22 and the other a 38 with a short, snub nose, of course 22 is longer barrel. He is going to clean them for me, get the right kind of ammo. Said what my mom had in the 38 was older than he was and the 22 had snake ammo, which is what I’d expect, rat shot.

    Furthermore, he organizes the gun classes to get your license for our sheriff’s department and women’s defense classes. So he is going to put me on list for next one, the instruction is free through the police department. A good start for me. He says either gun could be a good weapon for me if I’d learn to use them right. But he also recommended the Glock 38 that Ghost did and said he’d bought one for his wife.

    And we came up with a good idea better than a large biting dog or stealing a husband from my boating friends. I am going to put one or more guest houses in my back yard to house young police officers who are single and underpaid.

    This has cheered me up considerably

    Love, Jackie

  15. And yes, I have a large back yard. Front yard is pretty well filled now. Officer loved my rock work and stone ditch. I think housing for one or more young officers would be a good thing to do and maybe a canine officer with a large attack dog. I am feeling like a benevolent society for police officers right now.

  16. My wife has published over 25 books and she has started to keep track of some of the characters’ names so that she does not reuse them. Her fans would definitely point them out. Yesterday she got a Royalty check for her first book that was published over 18 years ago. However this royalty was for a Norwegian edition. It was not a whole lot, but enough for a very nice dinner and then some.

    We almost needed that check as I got my year end statement from American Express in an email and as I looked at it, I realized that I was charged for a hotel stay last month that I had put in my expense report as billed direct to the company. A quick call rectified the situation.

    I then looked at my next email and Verizon was charging me double. When I looked at the bill, I realized that they had charged me for a phone that we were supposed to return. Since I already had an email saying that it was returned, I was irate. It turns out both my wife and daughter upgraded on the same day and my daughter didn’t think that she had to return it. Fortunately she had not sold it, so I can return it and not get charged. I was glad that I did not say %$@#!!

  17. Steve, it does happen.
    Loon dutifully entered the last credit card payment into Quicken, then failed to setup a bank payment. We were several days and $166 in interest late. I dove in and cleaned up the mess, with interest forgiven. Loon even gleefully submitted to a bare bottom spanking for her behavior, then proceeded to thank me for being a hero. 🙂

  18. Mark, nice and thanks. Now if they only had an App so one could remember where those 26 pockets are located and what you stashed in each one.

  19. Jackie, sounds like you hit the jackpot with that PO; good for you. Definitely take the class and consider the GLOCK. (BTW,that’s a GLOCK 42 in .380 Auto caliber.) I have several 2 inch- and 3 inch-barreled .38’s from back in my S&W revolver days, and they are very capable handguns with practice. I wouldn’t feel underarmed carrying one with good defensive ammo in it. The GLOCK is just as simple to operate as a revolver and a bit simpler and faster to reload.

    Larry: As I have mentioned here, I have 30-minute-dirty-pan-or-dish-in-the-sink limit, but that’s just part of Rule One of Bachelor Housekeeping: “Never ever let it get ahead of you.”

  20. Mark, I’ve been coveting a Scott Travel Vest for about 5 years, and one day may be able to work it into my would-really-like-to-have-it-but-can-do-without-it budget. Glad to hear you are pleased with it, though. Main problem I have with it is the limited number of days per year I could wear it without attracting the same attention as someone down here would wearing a ski jacket in August.

  21. Ghost, I got mine lightly used from Ebay for about half the list price. Check there first if you see something you like on the company site.

  22. When I wear my cargo pants, they have so many things in their pockets and hung on their waistbands that I would hesitate to even guess how much they weigh. It’s probably like wearing training weight bands on my waist and ankles. Next time I’m wearing a pair I’ll try to remember to weigh them when I take them off.

  23. And all he got was a Coke and a handshake as thanks.

    Did I mention that the electric co-op has been charging me for about 15 years for a street light and pole which I ordered but they never installed? In front yard where I am trying to get one put now. They kept saying “where is third pole?” And I kept saying “There are two, one by well house and one between shop and back of house.” And they kept saying”What did you do with the third pole and light, you have three accounts.”

    Actually I have four accounts, all located on same piece of property and an internet account.

    Now they want about $1000 per pole to install “New service” and a meter to my front yard for a light and meter and pole I have been paying for already for 15 years!

    Found this out this morning. They say they are going to “research case and see if I am due a refund.” I said why not put the pole and light up where it was supposed to be already?

    Love, Jackie

  24. Have you ever been a kayaker, Ghost? The ocean paddlers carry an 8 day supply on their bodies
    or in tiny compartments to fulfill Coast Guard requirements. What amazes me are the SUPs, the stand up and paddle board guys who must do the same while balanced on a surf board and paddling upright.

  25. Matt, I will be in Maine in August after the spring thaw at Brooklin for a class at the Wooden Boat School. I am going as much for the scenery and food as knowledge but to also fulfill another Bucket List commitment I made in 1980’s to return to Maine and take a class at the school.

  26. Jackie, your electric “co-op” should live up to its name and be more cooperative.

    After my parents had lived in their last house for about ten years, they discovered the City had been charging them the entire time for sewer service even though the house had a septic tank. They did get a refund but only after I talked to a friend who happened to be the mayor’s secretary.

  27. Weather is beautiful here and I am suffering from a bad case of infectious road trip-itis. I am supposed to be writing first in a series based on finding my own path. Last night I was too annoyed by time I got in house (house and yard too dark) and keys I thought I had were not on my body or purse/whatever I carry. Got dog sitter’s key to get in.

    Today I am too annoyed at electric co-op and lazy thieves who prey on others. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a doctor over 100 miles away at 8 a.m. Anyone want to phone me at no later than six a.m.?

    Excuses for writer’s block and failure to start engine.

    Actually, if co-op has been charging me for 15 years for a light and pole they never put in, it amounts to over $7,000 as the lights and poles each run about $45 a month. That could pay for half a boat for me or a new cottage in back yard or any number of other things I might like. Or another golf cart? With $$$ left over.

    Love, Jackie

  28. Debbe

    Do you have a catching hook?
    Made from #9 wire ( all farmers know of #9 wire)
    about 4 feet long the hook is “U” shaped 1 leg about 6 inches long,
    the width is chicken leg wide. The end is flared out to about 3 inches.
    The fancy ones have a eye bent at end of wire and a dowel(broomstick)
    for a handle. Otherwise fold the handle end wire back on itself for a grip.

    Lets you get the little blighter when they think they are just beyond your reach.

  29. Looked at that catalog for the tech clothing and I have a question. Maybe two questions.
    I am a huge fan of LL Bean, Lands End, REI, Academy, West Marine, lots of sporting good stores. Not so much Bass Pro but I seem to get emails from them as I have bought stuff.

    How the heck can you fill up the pockets with all that stuff and possibly be comfortable? I cannot imagine carrying a tablet or a laptop or an inflatable raft or a multitool or all those pockets filled with anything. I don’t like to put keys or a phone or anything in a pocket anywhere on my body, hence I stick them in bra on top of breast. If I am braless, I don’t put them anywhere. I don’t even like underwear or labels or wires or hooks or anything with weight.

    Men’s wallets/stuffed pockets always amaze me that you can stand them! Me who will have to just stick that Glock on top of the breast if I get a concealed carry permit.

    How can you fill all those 28 pockets with stuff and still negotiate? It would weigh me down and whack my body until I pulled it out and threw it out a car window.

    Love, Jackie

  30. Old Bear, like pulling teams it is obvious that yours is a hold over from real farming teams and real co-ops. Ours is another word for profit, part of Touchstone systems. I support no farm, no industry, nothing more than a boat building shop with a lot of handtools. Tge bills run hundreds each month. In fact, when I moved here from the “evil corporate city” Houston, my utility bills were instantly doubled in every category. And house is actually gas fueled, not electric. Anything that will run on gas does and I have two separate systems so each half of house is independent of other, ditto shop.

    Rough price they gave me this morning over phone was about #1,000 per pole or new meter and $45 month for light, with me bearing 100% of installation costs. Whoa!!!

    Love, Jackie

  31. Report from the Frozen North: The storm is not over yet, and it’s still snowing, but not piling up very fast. I’m happy to say that what I feared didn’t happen. The electricity has stayed on — I was really nervous that it might conk out. The furnace won’t run without electricity, even though the oil tank is full; it’s very cold out so the house gets cold and there’s no other heat source. And the refrigerator stops working and the frozen food thaws out. We didn’t get the predicted high winds that can bring trees and branches down on the power lines. So far so good! How deep the snow is, it has drifted and I can’t tell. May be close to two feet.

    Debbe, thank you for the link to the radar; it’s useful.

    Jackie, I’m so glad the police officer was friendly and helpful … a solution to some of your problems.

  32. Our Humble Author is a minimalist with scenery, depending on the joke in play. He can do detailed scenery if it is called for.

    He is also whimsical with consistency because he frames each shot with a cinematic eye. Example: which side of the bed does Arlo sleep on? He has slept on both sides, but as the requirements of the scene dictate, either for scenic effect or for flow of dialogue balloons, he will switch sides. To boot, there was a strip in which he told Janis they ought to change sides of the bed and sleep on the other side, “just for fun.” Janis dismissed him back to his “proper” side with much indignation. When OHA requires, however, the joke winds up being on her.

    The kitchen is even more flexible. It even has a counter with a corner (hat tip to Danny Kaye 😉 ), and a limerick was written to it as an ode. I am sure the stove can either be gas or electric, depending on the need.

    And yet certain details remain constant, even if they are relatively unimportant. Back when Mary Lou first appeared, she says that her older sister kisses boys behind the sand dunes. More recently, Gus comments that he has two daughters to look out for. Some commenters thought he meant he thought of Meg as his daughter as well, but OHA had set that detail years earlier… and he stuck with it.

    It will be interesting when Mary Lou’s older and as yet nameless sister appears. I am also still pulling for Mean Girl Susan to show up and diss Gene and have a huge catfight ensue, but I digress. 😉

    Regardless of the furniture, etc., the consistent thing one can count on with A&J is that it will make one smile each day.

    Evan, the stove is ALWAYS gas. — JJ

  33. Jackie, I use lots of pockets for food and non bio garbage. Apples, oranges, packaged crackers all ride nicely. Small jam packs and Starbucks VIA produce little waste and add luxury to your hidy hole stays. Fruits are great source of sugars and help hydratetge body. The bio garbage can be buried in camouflaged pits.

    I’ve been using a LL Bean medium duffel and their Quad Pack backpack for all my travel over the last several years. Both can be slung and secured leaving my hands free.These trips range from a few days up to three weeks in duration. And covered Europe and Asia to nearby Fredericksburg. Max total weight on the longest trips ~ 15 kilograms.

    When flying I carry the previous mentioned Swiss key multi tool; it has been a useful tool in many ways. From slicing sausage and cheese to cutting bandages and tape.

    I was trained to travel light, live off the land, move quietly, and do it without light. Old, hard won habits don’t get unlearned

  34. Just a WAG, Jackie. 🙂

    After your rant [ 🙂 ] about not liking to carry things in your clothes or on your body, I had to know. So I weighed a pair of my cargo pants along with all the necessities I carry in them. The weight was 10.5 pounds. No wonder my resting heart rate is 65 and my blood oxygen saturation is 98%. I’m doing cardio training just walking around.

  35. Jackie, the G42 has an overall length of 5.94 inches and weighs 17.29 ounces fully loaded. In case you don’t have any bras with cups that can handle that, there’s always the FlashBang holster. For the well armed woman, you know.


    Of course, from some of your past remarks about your endowments, you might perhaps be able to use a FlashBang to pack my GLOCK 23. 🙂

  36. Impressive numbers, Ghost, and you too Sand. But 10# weight in pants pockets? All the expedition small boat sailors I know weigh everything and care about an extra 1/2 oz. Unless they are sailing a bottomless pit monohull with unlimited bins under floorboards to hold it all.
    I got some pretty funny columns, as did Mike’s partner, about the amount of food and gear I sent off with them, enough to do several rescues into Cuba and back, dropping off supplies when they reached islands.

    Actually, I bet Sand has BEEN to Cuba and traveled as light as he mentioned!

    Looking at that clothing all I could think is “Heck, I could take one outfit and maybe some extra underwear or not and go all over Europe.” I have a good friend who constantly flies all over world, well, he works in Micronesia and lives in Japan AND America and commutes about weekly it seems to me, he is always on a plane. He works in America too, so multi-tasking all the time. But he travels with nothing but one small bag that looks like a gym bag and his computer. And is always well dressed, well I am always in awe of him anyway.

    I am like Jimmy Buffett, I like where the climate suits my clothes. I don’t like layers.

    Did Martine get killed, by the way? Speaking of a woman who hid her gun well.

    Love, Jackie

  37. Ghost, we will have to see what a healthy diet and exercise does? I sort of thought I could put the gun where I stuck the cell phone if it was small enough? The gun. Of course, I might also shoot the other one?

  38. sand…

    From J. C. Curtis’s blog “Nobody Asked Me”:

    US Army Rules:

    1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
    2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
    3. Curse bitterly.
    4. Curse bitterly.
    5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
    6. Curse bitterly.

  39. Jackie, one reason the travel vest has so many pockets is so you don’t need a carry-on bag for a flight. And when you go through security, you just take off the vest and put it through the scanner. That’s what I did last year when I went on vacation (though I did still have a carry-on as my CPAP wouldn’t fit in the vest, of course). I did not fill all the pockets, but did carry my cell, wallet, keys, change and a pen all safely zipped up in the pockets. Next time I will probably just check the bag with the CPAP and hope the airline doesn’t send it astray.

  40. Jackie, hotel laundry service lets one limit amount of clothing you need to pack. Once, in Poland at an off brand place, I had to resort to bribery. I refered to the housekeeper after that as My Lady Krakow. Another note on laundry, Loon is amazed at the neat folding in Asian hotels.

  41. Ghost, I remember one line from a book titled “Don’t Cry for Me, Sergeant Major”, about the Brits in the Falkland War. “There is nothing more dangerous than an officer with a map.”.

  42. Jackie, re Martine: It appears she suffered a through-and-through GSW to the upper right thorax in the shoulder area. If the right subclavian artery was severed, she will likely expire quickly from exsanguination. In other words, she’s probably gonna croak.

    Of course, it is 9CL, so she may be up and around again and sniping Wehrmacht soldiers with her Luger in a couple of days. Or she could always have a dying flashback that lasts for six or eight months.

  43. Mark, in the WWII Red Army, the saying was “There is nothing more dangerous than a political commissar with a map.”

    sand, I’ll notify Jim of that omission from the list. And for that “other” branch here are The Rules for the US Navy:

    1. Drink coffee
    2. Deliver Marines
    3. Drink coffee
    4. Retrieve Marines
    5. Drink coffee

  44. About Martine, that is what it looked like to me, Ghost, but one can only hope. Bill is going to pick up that gun between his feet and shoot the sniper but unfortunately we know he will live.

    Which brings up question of who the heck is buried in the cow pasture in France under a tombstone with Bill’s helmet draped on it? And his name?

    In a moment of seriousness and solemnity, I will say that my father was buried in Italy after being shot down by British “friendly fire”. His position was known, I have copies of the maps drawn by surviving flight members, looked at them in last couple of weeks. It took seven years to find his body and rebury him in military cemetery.

    There are still MIA’s yet to be found or being found only now.Subject not handled well in 9CL.

    Love, Jackie

  45. Charlotte, I’m sure that you have thought of this but, a couple of large coolers on wheels loaded with your frozen food and wheeled out in the cold outdoors would save your food. After Hurricane Ivan we just plugged the necessaries into our generator which was out in the driveway. We could turn it off for the night and it was fine.

  46. US Air Force Rules:

    1. Have a cocktail.
    2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
    3. See what’s on HBO.
    4. Ask “What is a firefight?”
    5. Request more funding from Congress with a “killer” Power Point presentation.
    6. Wine and dine key Congressmen; invite DOD and defense industry executives.
    7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
    8. Declare the assets “strategic” and never deploy them operationally.
    9. Hurry to make 10:45 tee-time.
    10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict, but close enough to have tax exemption.

  47. So, the beginning of last week, I somehow managed to knock the serpentine belt off my trusty Herbie. I borrowed my friend’s rather creepy-looking Chevy Astro minivan, aka “The Serial Killer Van” until my day off yesterday. I called a tow truck to fetch Herbie and take him across town to the mechanic. As Herbie was at the back of the house, I gave VERY detailed instructions to my location. Within a few minutes, I saw the tow truck driving around – everywhere but the right direction. I saw him drive off, so I recalled the dispatcher, repeated and gave even more detailed directions. An hour went by, nothing. Really annoyed, I called back again. The dispatch guy was flabbergasted. The driver had told him he had already picked up and dropped off my car! I told the dispatcher, no, my car hadn’t moved and I was still looking at it. You could hear the panic in the poor guy’s voice. He told me he would call me back. A few minutes later, he called back and said another truck would be coming for my car. While he didn’t elaborate, I’m guessing driver #1 was busy removing a large boot from his backside so he could be off to locate and return whoever’s car he stole and apologize for the mistake. My friend and I had a nice visit, so the day wasn’t a total wash.

    Jackie – Your remark about phone under the bra strap reminds me of the plight all clerks have during the summer time -https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bqk2BVgCEAAT9Fc.jpg
    Pockets are wonderful things…

  48. “But fortunately, cargo pants seem to be fairly ubiquitous these days.”

    I wear them all the time, except when doing a gig at church or wherever; then it’s slacks. Sometimes sweat pants, if a winter jacket has enough pocket space. Love comfy sweats. Summer mostly polo shirts or tees, rest of year t-necks + sweatshirts or sweaters. Velcro[r] sneakers in various stages of wear. Trim beard every 6-10 weeks. Own a couple of clip-on ties, not worn / at least 10 years, and also a sports jacket that still fits, I think. Geezerhood should be comfortable.

  49. Y’all are FUNNY! I am still laughing. What about Coasties? Did you cover the Marines?

    About money in bras, not good for credit cards either.

  50. Only time I ever worked and got tips was when some of us very much against university rules pulled pitchers and draft beer at the Library, a famous institution relic where behind the bar was probably safest place to be. There was no legal limit on number of occupants, cannot see how it ever passed a fire or health inspection. But it was like cramming 200 or more drunk frat guys in a small pig sty with a dirt and rotten wood floor. It was of course the most popular place in town with long waits to cram yourself inside and get soaked in beer. Owner had state troopers or city deputies pick us up at our dorms and then take us home, stand guard over us behind bar. We were well paid for pouring drafts. Mike always said that was where I got in habit of sticking money in my bra, all the quarters. But we got more like $20’s. not quarters. Mike always said I could stick the quarters in $20 rolls.

    Pogo is out on baker’s rack eating, 10# dog is sleeping on desk, about two feet apart but window in between.

    Love, Jackie

  51. US Marine Corps Rules:

    1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
    2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
    3. Have a plan.
    4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
    5. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
    6. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
    7. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal preferred.)
    8. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
    9. Flank your adversary. When possible, protect yours.
    10. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

  52. And one more for sand…

    US Army Rangers’ Rules:

    1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
    2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
    3. Request permission via radio from ‘Higher’ to perform killing.
    4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
    5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

  53. Ghost, y’all have me laughing again. I know you all are making these up as you go. Still no Coast Guard rules?

    Just in case I start feeling depressed again?

  54. “About money in bras, emb’s favored types couldn’t carry much, could they?” Don’t think she ever tried that. I’d be glad to check out any A or B volunteers. Peace, emb.

  55. The only two Coastie Rules I know are the famous “You have to be over six feet tall”, and “Any job the Navy would assign to a LT (jg) can be handled by a PO3 in the Coast Guard”.

  56. Great comments. Enjoyed them all. Thanks for the clothing recommendations. Will consider them carefully. Good to have a good laugh after watching an Auburn basketball game. We’ll get better with a few more years of good coaching and recruiting. They try hard but just don’t have enough good players.

  57. It just occurred to me what the WWII plot for 9CL reminds me of a tiny bit. Trying to follow “Lost” when I was only person NOT watching it for every detail or even if you were, you’d be going, “Are they EVER going to get off the island and do I care and who was that?”

    I wasn’t allowed in room while it was on for that reason. I am trying to stay awake until 11 p.m. when the next strip will appear so I can make sure there is a stake through her heart. However, I just recalled I have seen operatic heroines lean on their elbows and sign for what seems like hours before dying. Brooke may take a month or so?

  58. In case we forget that retired military have senses of humor (how could we) this is my good friend who is going to build me a new cheap boat for me to mess around in this spring and summer. He is retired Army helicopter pilot and instructor who for some obscure reason decided to become a sailor and boat builder. Since I will probably spend more time with boat on side or upside down in water, I am going to paint a variant on this theme on bottom of my boat.


    I have begun preparation for a new attempt at learning to sail by trying to get mobile enough to lean backward while sail/boom pass overhead in a wild jibe and avoid beheading. Also to get back in boat after I turn it over and have to right it in the water. I have a friend in the Philippines who will be delighted to hear this, as he has described himself trying to reboard his high sided small boat pretty darned funny. There is a reason for low sides and a reason for high sides and when I reach point I can reboard a high profile hull from the water using stirrups I will notify Ghost!

    Love, Jackie

  59. Mindy from Indy: great story about Herbie … dramatic. And I loved the picture!

    Jackie and pals: I am still laughing, too. I probably don’t “get” some of your remarks but I’m kind of seeing it.

  60. “…reboard a high profile hull from the water using stirrups…” Somehow, that sounds vaguely kinky. But then, a lot of things sound at least vaguely kinky to me. 🙂

    Debbe 🙂 For some reason I keep getting this picture of a blonde running down an aisle, chasing a chicken with a large butterfly net. I’m still trying to decide if that’s kinky, too. 😉

  61. The reboarding with stirrups method is sort of new and sounds pretty kinky, best performed by a superb athletic specimen with ballet precision and long legs. I will find a video but it will not be a woman. I am not sure if there is a video yet of the newest self rescue method that involves putting both feet on a trailing circular loop of line and walking feet further and further apart.
    When I reach, should I ever, that stage of agility I will call you Ghost after I go take the seamanship course with the superb athletic specimen who is also a very dear friend. Seriously, a wonderful sailor. But it was his methods my older friend in Philippines was trying to copy and ended up looking like Jaws broaching the boat.

    In other words, flopped like a whale.

    Somehow I can’t find the video of the going over side of boat that is about four feet out of water with stirrups?

    Damn, Martine is as bad as the fat lady at the opera who won’t stay dead! She is asking for the gun. I thought that shot got an aorta!

    Love, Jackie

  62. Looking for the stirrup video just served to remind me how many thousands of photos and videos there are of the Scamp sailboat on the net. Now I am a mite teary because we helped put them there and create a cult boat in record time. I actually want to buy myself a fiberglass one as I am not going to pretend I want to maintain a wooden one but they are expensive for a small boat. All my friends are advising me to spend time sailing something cheap and see if I really want or can do this? As most of you know, I am independent sort so I will decide fast and see if I have money and order one.

    However, I am being advised by everyone including designer, owner of Scamp’s rights who is my editor sometimes, my other editor who is representative for plans and boat, everyone except the instructor for the sailing academy and building schools (who would add his admonitions too) to see if I really want to get back into sailing at my age. Everyone knows this is me refusing to quit supporting a boat I loved. And never sailed.

    Will find videos another time. Every day I will be facing ghosts.

    Love, Jackie

  63. It is going to take a stake through the heart. I got that right. Goodnight all and hope all are making it through winter storm.

    Keep remembering why I like Northeast in summer when water melts and the flowers bloom.
    Same reason I visit Great Lakes then too!

  64. Jackie
    Yep it is a member owned Co-op – any money left over at end of year
    we get rebate.

    Please don’t tell us when you are leaving for Maine – we don’t know what is lurking.
    BUT if we are in the same area at the same time would be nice to meet.
    Been thinking of a trip to NH & down to Wiscasset ME

  65. Good morning Villagers….

    So everyone is scrambling to ‘apologize’ the ‘over reaction’ to the storm Juno. You know what I say….glad they got it wrong in some areas….

    Charlotte…glad you didn’t loose electricity…when we loose electricity, we loose water as our water pump is 200 feet down.

    GR 😉 I have thought of a butterfly net. and my husband has suggested using a hanger, straightened out, to use the hook to grab those little Miss Prissies. There’s been more than one time I’ve been swatted in the face with their wings….and man, does it sting. I will look into the brand of the flashlight…I know one thing, it is heavy.

    Got inspected yesterday after we left work. Andrew went to pick up his girlfriend, and they stopped by both hen houses….when they came to pick up Kyler, she proceeded to tell me what all we got wrote up on…now, excuse me, first of all, it was none of her damn business, second of all, it peeved me and Ian off…..third, Andrew should have been the one to tell me. Oh, she did add it was little stuff….who is she to determine “little stuff’, she also said Andrew’s hen house got several notes on his inspection. One day, I’m going to stuff a sock in her mouth…she is too abrasive for me.

    Is today Wednesday? Happy Hump Day…for some of you.


  66. Jackie….come on up…your Aunt lives in Terre Haute, and we are about 2 hours drive from there. I am located on the map inbetween Loogootee and Jasper….about 5 miles off of US 231. Would love to meet you in person.

  67. Slept through time to get up, I knew I would, missed first appointment, now let’s try for second endocrinologist’s appointment. I should never make any appointments prior to 1 p.m. I KNOW that.

    Got up, got dogs out but not fed. Took blood sugar, let’s go for insulin, some food, some meds, clothes!

    Do not be surprised when I start traveling around country, Village. Dog sitter says to offer free rent to the deputy in my mom’s apartment and keep dogs too.

    Have I ever mentioned I am an Aquarius? Spell check says that is antiquarian which it most likely is. Anyway, I have been told I have an aura by many people of many persuasions and faiths, Mike always said it was the emissions from the pod I was left in that still gave off, like the ones Clark Kent had. Or alien dust.

    By the time the Age of Aquarius dawned I was locked into a life of respectability and I think I have spent rest of my life struggling in that shell giving off the Gama Rays. You all are getting the last glimmers, Villagers.

    Love you, Jackie

  68. Jackie, I, too, am an Aquarian, and when the Age of Aquarius hit I was a teenager in a small town that got bypassed by the Hippie Movement. I hear it was fun.

    On kitchen cleanup: I learned from my mom to wash utensils as I cooked and soak pans I couldn’t wash right away. Not that Mom ever did this. In fact, she was notorious for having to spend two hours after dinner scouring pots and pans that she had burned food onto.

    She also incinerated a pan of eggs one day. She put a dozen eggs on to boil and went in to take her shower and FORGOT the pot was on the stove and the burner on high. We are just lucky there wasn’t a fire. The pot boiled dry and the eggs ended up as black lumps so burned onto the pot they couldn’t be scraped out, so pot and all got thrown in the trash.

  69. My Dad and his three brothers were all Army men, so I heard my share of joked about the other branches of the military. The one that comes to mind is about the Marines: you know what “Marine” stands for?

    Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential

    (I don’t make ’em up, I just pass ’em on)

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