Today’s retro Sunday cartoon is from 2005, almost exactly 10 years ago. The observant among you probably will notice that the set of Arlo & Janis changes capriciously, especially in the kitchen. The cupboards and counter tops constantly change style and color from day to day. The stove above is free-standing; often it is surrounded by cabinets. I hope this doesn’t bother you. I probably should have invented standard interiors for the family long ago, but I just never felt it was necessary. For one thing, the backgrounds in the strip are minimal, to say the least. The cabinetry is often a suggestion of cabinetry, as in the above example. If my interiors were more lavish and more recurring, I’m certain I would have developed a standing set. Or maybe I’m just lazy. How are you in New England holding up? How goes the Blizzard of ’15? We were talking about Massachusetts just last week, about how many A&J readers there are in that area. Hang in there, Boston.
Flippin’ Mess
By Jimmy Johnson
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102 responses to “Flippin’ Mess”
US Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
7. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal preferred.)
8. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
9. Flank your adversary. When possible, protect yours.
10. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
US Navy SEAL Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing in sight.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.
And one more for sand…
US Army Rangers’ Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from ‘Higher’ to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.
Ghost, y’all have me laughing again. I know you all are making these up as you go. Still no Coast Guard rules?
Just in case I start feeling depressed again?
“About money in bras, emb’s favored types couldn’t carry much, could they?” Don’t think she ever tried that. I’d be glad to check out any A or B volunteers. Peace, emb.
As to who the heck is buried in the cow pasture in France under a tombstone with Bill’s helmet draped on it…Bert, perhaps?
The only two Coastie Rules I know are the famous “You have to be over six feet tall”, and “Any job the Navy would assign to a LT (jg) can be handled by a PO3 in the Coast Guard”.
Great comments. Enjoyed them all. Thanks for the clothing recommendations. Will consider them carefully. Good to have a good laugh after watching an Auburn basketball game. We’ll get better with a few more years of good coaching and recruiting. They try hard but just don’t have enough good players.
It just occurred to me what the WWII plot for 9CL reminds me of a tiny bit. Trying to follow “Lost” when I was only person NOT watching it for every detail or even if you were, you’d be going, “Are they EVER going to get off the island and do I care and who was that?”
I wasn’t allowed in room while it was on for that reason. I am trying to stay awake until 11 p.m. when the next strip will appear so I can make sure there is a stake through her heart. However, I just recalled I have seen operatic heroines lean on their elbows and sign for what seems like hours before dying. Brooke may take a month or so?
SING! SING, not sign. Although mute signing might have been better in some cases.
In case we forget that retired military have senses of humor (how could we) this is my good friend who is going to build me a new cheap boat for me to mess around in this spring and summer. He is retired Army helicopter pilot and instructor who for some obscure reason decided to become a sailor and boat builder. Since I will probably spend more time with boat on side or upside down in water, I am going to paint a variant on this theme on bottom of my boat.
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/dwforum/info
I have begun preparation for a new attempt at learning to sail by trying to get mobile enough to lean backward while sail/boom pass overhead in a wild jibe and avoid beheading. Also to get back in boat after I turn it over and have to right it in the water. I have a friend in the Philippines who will be delighted to hear this, as he has described himself trying to reboard his high sided small boat pretty darned funny. There is a reason for low sides and a reason for high sides and when I reach point I can reboard a high profile hull from the water using stirrups I will notify Ghost!
Love, Jackie
Mindy from Indy: great story about Herbie … dramatic. And I loved the picture!
Jackie and pals: I am still laughing, too. I probably don’t “get” some of your remarks but I’m kind of seeing it.
Jackie, how about HELP!!
“…reboard a high profile hull from the water using stirrups…” Somehow, that sounds vaguely kinky. But then, a lot of things sound at least vaguely kinky to me. 🙂
Debbe 🙂 For some reason I keep getting this picture of a blonde running down an aisle, chasing a chicken with a large butterfly net. I’m still trying to decide if that’s kinky, too. 😉
Jackie, for your bottom, I MEANT TO DO THAT
The reboarding with stirrups method is sort of new and sounds pretty kinky, best performed by a superb athletic specimen with ballet precision and long legs. I will find a video but it will not be a woman. I am not sure if there is a video yet of the newest self rescue method that involves putting both feet on a trailing circular loop of line and walking feet further and further apart.
When I reach, should I ever, that stage of agility I will call you Ghost after I go take the seamanship course with the superb athletic specimen who is also a very dear friend. Seriously, a wonderful sailor. But it was his methods my older friend in Philippines was trying to copy and ended up looking like Jaws broaching the boat.
In other words, flopped like a whale.
Somehow I can’t find the video of the going over side of boat that is about four feet out of water with stirrups?
Damn, Martine is as bad as the fat lady at the opera who won’t stay dead! She is asking for the gun. I thought that shot got an aorta!
Love, Jackie
Looking for the stirrup video just served to remind me how many thousands of photos and videos there are of the Scamp sailboat on the net. Now I am a mite teary because we helped put them there and create a cult boat in record time. I actually want to buy myself a fiberglass one as I am not going to pretend I want to maintain a wooden one but they are expensive for a small boat. All my friends are advising me to spend time sailing something cheap and see if I really want or can do this? As most of you know, I am independent sort so I will decide fast and see if I have money and order one.
However, I am being advised by everyone including designer, owner of Scamp’s rights who is my editor sometimes, my other editor who is representative for plans and boat, everyone except the instructor for the sailing academy and building schools (who would add his admonitions too) to see if I really want to get back into sailing at my age. Everyone knows this is me refusing to quit supporting a boat I loved. And never sailed.
Will find videos another time. Every day I will be facing ghosts.
Love, Jackie
It is going to take a stake through the heart. I got that right. Goodnight all and hope all are making it through winter storm.
Keep remembering why I like Northeast in summer when water melts and the flowers bloom.
Same reason I visit Great Lakes then too!
Jackie
Yep it is a member owned Co-op – any money left over at end of year
we get rebate.
Please don’t tell us when you are leaving for Maine – we don’t know what is lurking.
BUT if we are in the same area at the same time would be nice to meet.
Been thinking of a trip to NH & down to Wiscasset ME
Good morning Villagers….
So everyone is scrambling to ‘apologize’ the ‘over reaction’ to the storm Juno. You know what I say….glad they got it wrong in some areas….
Charlotte…glad you didn’t loose electricity…when we loose electricity, we loose water as our water pump is 200 feet down.
GR 😉 I have thought of a butterfly net. and my husband has suggested using a hanger, straightened out, to use the hook to grab those little Miss Prissies. There’s been more than one time I’ve been swatted in the face with their wings….and man, does it sting. I will look into the brand of the flashlight…I know one thing, it is heavy.
Got inspected yesterday after we left work. Andrew went to pick up his girlfriend, and they stopped by both hen houses….when they came to pick up Kyler, she proceeded to tell me what all we got wrote up on…now, excuse me, first of all, it was none of her damn business, second of all, it peeved me and Ian off…..third, Andrew should have been the one to tell me. Oh, she did add it was little stuff….who is she to determine “little stuff’, she also said Andrew’s hen house got several notes on his inspection. One day, I’m going to stuff a sock in her mouth…she is too abrasive for me.
Is today Wednesday? Happy Hump Day…for some of you.
=^..^=
Today’s grin: https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7800943872/h33A2800F/
Jackie….come on up…your Aunt lives in Terre Haute, and we are about 2 hours drive from there. I am located on the map inbetween Loogootee and Jasper….about 5 miles off of US 231. Would love to meet you in person.
Slept through time to get up, I knew I would, missed first appointment, now let’s try for second endocrinologist’s appointment. I should never make any appointments prior to 1 p.m. I KNOW that.
Got up, got dogs out but not fed. Took blood sugar, let’s go for insulin, some food, some meds, clothes!
Do not be surprised when I start traveling around country, Village. Dog sitter says to offer free rent to the deputy in my mom’s apartment and keep dogs too.
Have I ever mentioned I am an Aquarius? Spell check says that is antiquarian which it most likely is. Anyway, I have been told I have an aura by many people of many persuasions and faiths, Mike always said it was the emissions from the pod I was left in that still gave off, like the ones Clark Kent had. Or alien dust.
By the time the Age of Aquarius dawned I was locked into a life of respectability and I think I have spent rest of my life struggling in that shell giving off the Gama Rays. You all are getting the last glimmers, Villagers.
Love you, Jackie
Jackie, I, too, am an Aquarian, and when the Age of Aquarius hit I was a teenager in a small town that got bypassed by the Hippie Movement. I hear it was fun.
On kitchen cleanup: I learned from my mom to wash utensils as I cooked and soak pans I couldn’t wash right away. Not that Mom ever did this. In fact, she was notorious for having to spend two hours after dinner scouring pots and pans that she had burned food onto.
She also incinerated a pan of eggs one day. She put a dozen eggs on to boil and went in to take her shower and FORGOT the pot was on the stove and the burner on high. We are just lucky there wasn’t a fire. The pot boiled dry and the eggs ended up as black lumps so burned onto the pot they couldn’t be scraped out, so pot and all got thrown in the trash.
My Dad and his three brothers were all Army men, so I heard my share of joked about the other branches of the military. The one that comes to mind is about the Marines: you know what “Marine” stands for?
Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential
(I don’t make ’em up, I just pass ’em on)