Guy Apparel

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
Do you men have a Christmas tie? I do. It isn’t exactly like Arlo’s in the 2012 comic above, but it’s similar. I wear it maybe twice during the holiday season, and in years when I’m not required to attend a funeral it will be the only tie I don. That’s another benefit of being a cartoonist.

59 responses to “Guy Apparel”

  1. Does a Dr. Seuss “Grinch” tie count? Then yes, I have a Christmas tie. It probably has not been worn in a decade. Last tie I had on was four years ago at a black tie affair.

  2. I have never owned a Christmas tie. I have have Purple for advent and have several red and one green ties. I also own a nice red sweater that I will wear under my jacket when it is cold outside. It is supposed to be 60°+ this weekend, so no sweater!

    I cleared out my closets, so I will not be able to enter the ugly sweater contest. I do have a bad looking sweatshirt that might pass for one. I asked if I could get points for dressing ugly the other 364 or 365 days of the year.

  3. I guess the female equivalent of the Christmas tie is either Christmas socks or jewelry. (I favor earrings, myself.) All of it welcome at this time of year. But Janis’, uh, stockings definitely strike a Christmas tone in a naughty-or-nice kind of way. Can it be both simultaneously?

  4. Bonnie: Yes.

    And I greatly admire stocking stuffers like Janis’s.

    I have six Christmas ties. I’ll begin to wear them in rotation on 12/14/15. Yes, I can see your shocked faces from here. 🙂

    sand, if ones see a Santa’s helper, one may assume it is indeed Ghost under the beard, the padding, and the red suit if, in the place of a covey of elves, he is accompanied by a harem.

  5. Bonnie, can assure the answer is YES!!

    GR6, would expect nothing less of you than an elf harem.

    Have seen ties opened up? and stitched together to make lap blankets.

  6. Remembering back to my days as a semi-socialite in Houston in 1970-90 period I cannot remember Mike owning anything more seasonal than a solid red tie and a red one with white polka dots and that one came during our Dallas market days. He was a conservative and elegant dresser. Changed life styles and he gave up ties entirely for an L.L. Bean meets Academy look. Still impeccably dressed and conservative.

    I knew what I was marrying so I can’t say I was surprised. He owned a smoking jacket, evening jackets and several ascots BEFORE I married him. Definitely not a 60s hippie, Republican to the end. Not to say a Republican can’t own a Christmas tie. That would bring profiling.

  7. Be. Be. Be.

    Hal is starting the day being BAD. Bad Santa.

    Ghost, Sand, that was very funny. I think the Village orphans deserve a Christmas party.

    If I don’t get out of my seasonal red plaid Mickey Mouse fleece pajamas I could wear them downtown like everyone else does. I need to go to bank and get a medical power of attorney notarized so someone can make medical decisions for me.

    Maybe a red Marilyn sweater is holiday enough?

  8. Ghost, this one is for you. One of my boating friends just sent it to me (She’said a Texas boater)

    “Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother.”

    Santa replied, “Send me your mother.”

    Bad Santa.

  9. ‘That’s another benefit of being a cartoonist.’

    Also of being a tenured/emeritus prof. Haven’t worn ties for decades, jackets rarely. Turtlenecks, polos, tees. Dress-up = wearing ordinary slacks rather than cargo pants. ‘Proper attire’ = a signal I won’t be there [though I can often negate that by negotiating with sponsor or whomever]. Have likely posted all this before.

    Also, have no designated Christmas clothing. Avoid wearing bright red and green together, wear non-flashy duds to funerals.

    13-yr old lad delayed supper invite tonight [paella!]. Bought him a top-of-the-line planisphere at the local non-profit science ctr.

    Peace, emb

  10. Sylvester the cat wearing a Santa’s hat with a background of Christmas presents. Honestly, I don’t remember how it came into my wardrobe. Either it was a gift or, dare I say, I picked it out myself.

    I think Christmas ties are like puns. Used by many, appreciated by few.

  11. My Christmas ties are quite tasteful, by the way. Well, the one that plays Jingle Bells when the Frosty the Snowman on it is touched in a certain place, perhaps not so much. But it was a gift from my all-female staff, so I have little choice about wearing it.

    Hey! Jackie, using her formidable talents and multitudinous experiences, would make an ideal Cruise Director for the Viking long ship voyage.

  12. Ruth already posted it for me on one of my group pages. Jackie would go, believe it or not. I am waiting to reapply until I get the cleaned out carotid but the Antarctica Penguin counting expedition would still like for me to come. I will wear my fleece Bunny pajamas as I lounge in the bilge, along with thermal underwear and whatever else you wear for three weekd. In Antarctica not the Viking cruise.

  13. Ghost I am sure the Penguin scientists would explain but all I know was I had to be willing to walk on ice and collect Penguin poop, track their movements and count concentrations of birds.

    They must have tracking devices on some birds? The deal is that there are no passengers, anyone signing on has to be willing to clean, cook, help operate ship, get in and out of zodiac going over side of sailboat, be able to walk up to a couple miles on ice and probably not bath for three weeks. Plus the collection duties.

    And sail from Argentina to Antarctica and back through Beagle Channel and around Cape Horn.

    Want to go along?

  14. Excellent retro cartoon. I love the ones that have a double entendre joke. With a seasonal bonus.

    As for ties, I am not one for novelty ties. I just used a bright green silk tie.

    If you are curious about how they study penguins here is a short excerpt from the excellent British game show QI. One method they use is to track them from space. Using a pretty disgusting method. The pattern of their droppings. Don’t watch while eating.

  15. You might be interested to know that I’m now officially more disabled than I was a few days ago. Several months, I applied for a VA pension based on low income. Part of the application consisted in listing any disabilities. My list was hearing loss (service connected), Type II diabetes and osteoporosis (neither service connected). Last month, I had my hearing and diabetes evaluated by outside professionals. Yesterday, I was informed that my hearing loss was still rated at 0%, and the osteoporosis isn’t qualified. However, my tinnitus now has a rating of 10% and my diabetes is service connected at 20%. The rates don’t just add in the usual way, but the total is rounded to the nearest 10%, and that means I’m not officially 30% disabled and will be getting just over $400/month at present rates. A very, very nice holiday present!

  16. Jackie, I’ll give it some thought. I know how to clean (thanks, USAF); I’m a damned good cook; I once piloted a riverboat back up the Mississippi to its dock in Memphis; I’m comfortable in small boats (and aircraft); I’ve walked on ice before; I don’t smell all that bad when unwashed; and probably most importantly, my day job has thoroughly prepared me for the dealing with poop part.

  17. Many years ago, I knew a man who was in the US Army and stationed in the Philippines in 1945. He told be me had 10% disability from the time he got drunk and decided riding a water buffalo was a good plan. Naturally, he fell off and broke his wrist, but the Army doc who treated him kept him out of trouble by writing up the cause of accident as something like, “Slipped on wet floor in chow hall and fell while pulling KP.”

  18. Those were a great bunch of application notes for the viking ship crew positions; thanks for posting the connection. I’m sure several of us would investigate the gal who gives free hugs.

    I could never understand the attraction of fishnet stockings; to me they are a turn off. Bare legs, skin-colored stockings, & even socks are more intriguing to this geezer! As eMb would write, “De gustibus….” .

    Just found out the price of having one’s lower teeth removed in favor of 4 titanium implants. Let’s just say that the common logarithm of the dollar amount begins with a “4” – and that does not count the costs of making the set of fake choppers to clip onto those implanted posts. [See? You just found a need for your 8th or 9th grade math!]

  19. I read a large number of those applications too — so many, I couldn’t finish the list. Fascinating, though. Of course I thought, “Jackie will be all over this” but I see the penguins have priority. Ghost, I purely loved the way you described Jackie. You are a mighty good writer.

    Farley Mowet (sp.?) is a great favorite of mine. I haven’t read enough of his many books — the one spoken of in the Viking story sounds awfully good. (Do I have time to read something like that? I hope to work on Siegfried Sassoon; greatly enjoyed the third book of his WW One trilogy and want to read the other two, not sure if I can get them from the Library, probably Inter-Library Loan.)

  20. I had to wear a tie for many years, but as an IT specialist I had some leeway (nautical term for Jackie!). All my ties were purchased by my elementary or junior-high aged daughters. I have Winne-the-Pooh, The Grinch, Charlie Brown, Bugs Bunny, Elivs (GI Blues), Superman, Spiderman, Star Wars, Road Runner, Daffy Duck, a couple of polka-dots, one Dr Suess (Hop on Pop!), one with “Lions & Tigers & Bears” (oh my!) and many others of similar ilk. I may have had one or two more staid ties… but very few. The normal work attire was khaki or olive trousers, solid color button-down shirt, and bright colored tie. I was VERY good at my job, so no one ever said anything negative about the ties. There were frequently positive comments.

    For Arlo’s stocking(s), it isn’t the stocking that makes Christmas morning– it’s what comes out of the stocking.

  21. Sideburns, congratulations on the increase in VA rating. IF you have to have the ailment. then it is nice to get some of your deserved veteran’s compensation. Speaking from experience, I would prefer to not have the problems… but we can’t always get what we want. If we try, we can sometimes get what we need (apologies to the Rolling Stones).

  22. Bad news for Children of All Ages™. After analyzing intelligence information (see below) obtained last year by the USAF’s North American Defense Command (An Official US Government Agency), a minor functionary at the Department of Homeland Security (An Official US Government Agency) became suspicious of the travel pattern of Foreign National Subject Kris Kringle (aka Santa Claus, as well as numerous other aliases) on 24 Dec 2014, which included stops in several “differently civilized” countries.

    After consultations with the US Department of State (A Quasi-Official US Government Agency), which in turn consulted with the United Nations (An Unofficial US Government Agency), it was determined that no visas were issued by the governments of any of the countries visited by Kringle, including the US Government, which of course has strict and rigorously applied restrictions on who may be issued a visa or otherwise be able to enter the country. As a result, the minor DHS functionary has placed Subject Kringle on the US Government’s No Fly List.

    When it was pointed out to DHS (Motto: Keeping America Safe From Gun Violence By Possible Terrorists Since Last Week) that this decision would cause the cancellation of Mr. Kringle’s long established annual travel plans later this month, Marie Cabot-Harfington, the Deputy Assistant Press Secretary for the Acting Deputy Assistant Undersecretary for Unclassified Public Information of the Department of Homeland Security said, “We assure the American people that the decision to add this individual to the No Fly List was given the same amount of careful deliberation as was used to place many of the other subjects on it. And yes, I know I have big business cards, but please quit staring at them.”

  23. I have Christmas socks that play music. At lest they did last time that I saw them. They’re in a drawer somewhere. I think. Favorite Christmas song-Santa Baby.

  24. Ghost are you certain you never wrote any government memorandum or decrees or even letters?

    That was funny and whatever you do for your day job is probably a waste of talent going unused. And DON’T tell me what that talent is.

    You write well with lucidity, even when you are being funny.

  25. Laura Ashley black and white brocade pajamas with a black matching low cut knit lined with matching fabric. Sorry, I wanted to be dressed if the EMS guys have to come out.

    I will say the bottoms are way too big and the top too small. Who proportions these sets for heaven’s sake? And while I got them on sale the price of $58 MSRP is ridiculous for a woman’s name.

    Breaking cat news, my tee-shirts all arrived and I think they are great quality. If I didn’t have my outfit totally coordinated for my date with my Lowe’s salesman I would wear the pink Ludwig with some pink floral jeans or else some pink and lavender print jeans.

    Sorry Ghost, I have nothing better to do than dress to go spend money on remodeling the house.

  26. Further opinion, I got both designs and like both but I like Luddie the best, got the Red Luddie and the pink Luddie, think I like pink best but graphics show up best on the red. Anyone else have an opinion?

    Do we get a chance to buy an original A and J this year or was this the Supreme Effort and we should be grateful and not want the sun and the moon too?

  27. Definitely over-dressed for the occasion, Jackie, but I can understand that the EMS people would be shocked (shocked, I tell you!) if they encountered someone who was not modestly and properly attired when they arrived on scene. But next time, do try not to get stuck with an ensemble sized for the flat-chested-lard-arsed set. 🙂

    And I agree…for $58, I’d expect to get the woman, not just her name. 😉

    I haven’t ordered a tee yet, even though I’ve decided on the designs, styles and colors. I thought I’d wait a while and not contribute to one or more of Jimmy’s tee shirt minions collapsing from exhaustion just before Christmas.

  28. Have been dutifully working on Christmas tree and ornaments for about four hours and listening to good music, Pachibel right now with our Ean waves. This reminds me of doing this professionally because all I have done is try to free the decorations from the plastic they are entombed in and remove the tags without thinking evil thoughts about some poor Third World child who did the work.

    It is a PITA and nothing has changed. Hoever, the crystal and white stuff has been so astoundingly beautiful I would like to perhaps do that or perhaps a Coastal Chic tree with blues, greens, crystals in a pastel blend. My living room is thathe now and I think that would be stunning and yes, this is just for me.

    By the way, it was dogs who started on it. A metallic wrapped candy cane and a fake cupcake.

  29. Good morning Villagers…..

    Going in to help clean hen house, and take out my frustration on the Health Care Marketplace. They say one thing on the phone, then bill you a higher amount…’s nothing but a scam…..]

    ya’ll have a happy Caterday…..

  30. Ghost, who is this Lucy that you write with? For years I had a Christmas morning tradition of exchanging gifts under the tree. Then kids came along and the tradition had to stop.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.