Do you men have a Christmas tie? I do. It isn’t exactly like Arlo’s in the 2012 comic above, but it’s similar. I wear it maybe twice during the holiday season, and in years when I’m not required to attend a funeral it will be the only tie I don. That’s another benefit of being a cartoonist.
59 responses to “Guy Apparel”
Out of curiosity, how does one prevent a penguin from being counted twice? Do they have to present some form of ID when they are counted?
On reflection I am sure Vikings wore the same clothes until.they rotted.
Ghost I am sure the Penguin scientists would explain but all I know was I had to be willing to walk on ice and collect Penguin poop, track their movements and count concentrations of birds.
They must have tracking devices on some birds? The deal is that there are no passengers, anyone signing on has to be willing to clean, cook, help operate ship, get in and out of zodiac going over side of sailboat, be able to walk up to a couple miles on ice and probably not bath for three weeks. Plus the collection duties.
And sail from Argentina to Antarctica and back through Beagle Channel and around Cape Horn.
Want to go along?
Excellent retro cartoon. I love the ones that have a double entendre joke. With a seasonal bonus.
As for ties, I am not one for novelty ties. I just used a bright green silk tie.
If you are curious about how they study penguins here is a short excerpt from the excellent British game show QI. One method they use is to track them from space. Using a pretty disgusting method. The pattern of their droppings. Don’t watch while eating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyQ2w_vbeMQ
You might be interested to know that I’m now officially more disabled than I was a few days ago. Several months, I applied for a VA pension based on low income. Part of the application consisted in listing any disabilities. My list was hearing loss (service connected), Type II diabetes and osteoporosis (neither service connected). Last month, I had my hearing and diabetes evaluated by outside professionals. Yesterday, I was informed that my hearing loss was still rated at 0%, and the osteoporosis isn’t qualified. However, my tinnitus now has a rating of 10% and my diabetes is service connected at 20%. The rates don’t just add in the usual way, but the total is rounded to the nearest 10%, and that means I’m not officially 30% disabled and will be getting just over $400/month at present rates. A very, very nice holiday present!
Jackie, I’ll give it some thought. I know how to clean (thanks, USAF); I’m a damned good cook; I once piloted a riverboat back up the Mississippi to its dock in Memphis; I’m comfortable in small boats (and aircraft); I’ve walked on ice before; I don’t smell all that bad when unwashed; and probably most importantly, my day job has thoroughly prepared me for the dealing with poop part.
Many years ago, I knew a man who was in the US Army and stationed in the Philippines in 1945. He told be me had 10% disability from the time he got drunk and decided riding a water buffalo was a good plan. Naturally, he fell off and broke his wrist, but the Army doc who treated him kept him out of trouble by writing up the cause of accident as something like, “Slipped on wet floor in chow hall and fell while pulling KP.”
Those were a great bunch of application notes for the viking ship crew positions; thanks for posting the connection. I’m sure several of us would investigate the gal who gives free hugs.
I could never understand the attraction of fishnet stockings; to me they are a turn off. Bare legs, skin-colored stockings, & even socks are more intriguing to this geezer! As eMb would write, “De gustibus….” .
Just found out the price of having one’s lower teeth removed in favor of 4 titanium implants. Let’s just say that the common logarithm of the dollar amount begins with a “4” – and that does not count the costs of making the set of fake choppers to clip onto those implanted posts. [See? You just found a need for your 8th or 9th grade math!]
Maybe we could consider a trip in warmer waters like the Gulf or Caribbean to see if we’d fling each other overboard? Better chance of survival without hypothermia and closer to land.
Here’s a neat living museum dealing with Viking life: http://www.vikingsofbjornstad.com/MuseumHaithabu.htm
You can outfit yourself here: http://www.darkknightarmoury.com/s-4-viking.aspx
Or find the nearest SCA group. Someone there is probably portraying a Viking and can help you out.
cxp, I was personally more intrigued by applicant “Heidi”, the gal who said she loved “rollicking motions”. 😉
I read a large number of those applications too — so many, I couldn’t finish the list. Fascinating, though. Of course I thought, “Jackie will be all over this” but I see the penguins have priority. Ghost, I purely loved the way you described Jackie. You are a mighty good writer.
Farley Mowet (sp.?) is a great favorite of mine. I haven’t read enough of his many books — the one spoken of in the Viking story sounds awfully good. (Do I have time to read something like that? I hope to work on Siegfried Sassoon; greatly enjoyed the third book of his WW One trilogy and want to read the other two, not sure if I can get them from the Library, probably Inter-Library Loan.)
I had to wear a tie for many years, but as an IT specialist I had some leeway (nautical term for Jackie!). All my ties were purchased by my elementary or junior-high aged daughters. I have Winne-the-Pooh, The Grinch, Charlie Brown, Bugs Bunny, Elivs (GI Blues), Superman, Spiderman, Star Wars, Road Runner, Daffy Duck, a couple of polka-dots, one Dr Suess (Hop on Pop!), one with “Lions & Tigers & Bears” (oh my!) and many others of similar ilk. I may have had one or two more staid ties… but very few. The normal work attire was khaki or olive trousers, solid color button-down shirt, and bright colored tie. I was VERY good at my job, so no one ever said anything negative about the ties. There were frequently positive comments.
For Arlo’s stocking(s), it isn’t the stocking that makes Christmas morning– it’s what comes out of the stocking.
And just for laughs, a visual pun: http://www.amazon.com/Floyd-The-Barber-Mens-T-Shirt/dp/B00I6H0ERI
Sideburns, congratulations on the increase in VA rating. IF you have to have the ailment. then it is nice to get some of your deserved veteran’s compensation. Speaking from experience, I would prefer to not have the problems… but we can’t always get what we want. If we try, we can sometimes get what we need (apologies to the Rolling Stones).
Bad news for Children of All Ages™. After analyzing intelligence information (see below) obtained last year by the USAF’s North American Defense Command (An Official US Government Agency), a minor functionary at the Department of Homeland Security (An Official US Government Agency) became suspicious of the travel pattern of Foreign National Subject Kris Kringle (aka Santa Claus, as well as numerous other aliases) on 24 Dec 2014, which included stops in several “differently civilized” countries.
After consultations with the US Department of State (A Quasi-Official US Government Agency), which in turn consulted with the United Nations (An Unofficial US Government Agency), it was determined that no visas were issued by the governments of any of the countries visited by Kringle, including the US Government, which of course has strict and rigorously applied restrictions on who may be issued a visa or otherwise be able to enter the country. As a result, the minor DHS functionary has placed Subject Kringle on the US Government’s No Fly List.
When it was pointed out to DHS (Motto: Keeping America Safe From Gun Violence By Possible Terrorists Since Last Week) that this decision would cause the cancellation of Mr. Kringle’s long established annual travel plans later this month, Marie Cabot-Harfington, the Deputy Assistant Press Secretary for the Acting Deputy Assistant Undersecretary for Unclassified Public Information of the Department of Homeland Security said, “We assure the American people that the decision to add this individual to the No Fly List was given the same amount of careful deliberation as was used to place many of the other subjects on it. And yes, I know I have big business cards, but please quit staring at them.”
http://cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/posts/Screen%20Shot%202013-12-16%20at%2010.10.01%20AM.png
I have Christmas socks that play music. At lest they did last time that I saw them. They’re in a drawer somewhere. I think. Favorite Christmas song-Santa Baby.
By Eartha Kitt.
Ghost are you certain you never wrote any government memorandum or decrees or even letters?
That was funny and whatever you do for your day job is probably a waste of talent going unused. And DON’T tell me what that talent is.
You write well with lucidity, even when you are being funny.
You told me you’d tell me if I identified myself, so…
Jackie, this is Ghost. What are you wearing right now? 😉
Laura Ashley black and white brocade pajamas with a black matching low cut knit lined with matching fabric. Sorry, I wanted to be dressed if the EMS guys have to come out.
I will say the bottoms are way too big and the top too small. Who proportions these sets for heaven’s sake? And while I got them on sale the price of $58 MSRP is ridiculous for a woman’s name.
Breaking cat news, my tee-shirts all arrived and I think they are great quality. If I didn’t have my outfit totally coordinated for my date with my Lowe’s salesman I would wear the pink Ludwig with some pink floral jeans or else some pink and lavender print jeans.
Sorry Ghost, I have nothing better to do than dress to go spend money on remodeling the house.
Further opinion, I got both designs and like both but I like Luddie the best, got the Red Luddie and the pink Luddie, think I like pink best but graphics show up best on the red. Anyone else have an opinion?
Do we get a chance to buy an original A and J this year or was this the Supreme Effort and we should be grateful and not want the sun and the moon too?
Definitely over-dressed for the occasion, Jackie, but I can understand that the EMS people would be shocked (shocked, I tell you!) if they encountered someone who was not modestly and properly attired when they arrived on scene. But next time, do try not to get stuck with an ensemble sized for the flat-chested-lard-arsed set. 🙂
And I agree…for $58, I’d expect to get the woman, not just her name. 😉
I haven’t ordered a tee yet, even though I’ve decided on the designs, styles and colors. I thought I’d wait a while and not contribute to one or more of Jimmy’s tee shirt minions collapsing from exhaustion just before Christmas.
Here’s a Christmas song (“Mary Did You Know?”) for those who like an a cappella version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSfHXWjzqu0