The above classic A&J comic strip was based on a true story. So where do I get my ideas? Rhymes with “woes.” In all fairness, machine oil is one of those items that is so common it can hide in plain sight, like toothpicks in a grocery store.
Oil Can Harried
By Jimmy Johnson
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199 responses to “Oil Can Harried”
Jackie M-
And don’t wear a blue polo shirt and khaki pants to Best Buy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgUIbPfhSuo
I usually do my basic hardware/lawn supply purchases at the local hardware store, although large quantity purchases of lumber, power tools, and mulch are obtained, begrudgingly, from the nearest “home improvement center. Fortunately for me, the hardware store is much closer to me, since I seem to never be able to get everything I need to finish those weekend projects with just one trip to the store.
my problem is I always forget where Wet Wipes are in the grocery store, I keep some in my car, finally remember they’re near the charcoal. . .. I do like going to the Ace or True Value near me, it’s actually fun, I mean am I goofy or what? It’s like a wonderland going down the aisles, they’re kind of smaller and crowded, not just the rain gauges or bird feeders, but the hinges, door knobs, etc, makes you want to do stuff. Of course, sometime you gotta go to the big places and I think, at least it seems to me, the big orange one has gotten a lot better with better trained employees, in my neighborhood anyway.
One other plug for the local hardware stores: they usually support local organizations with enthusiasm. When my son was working on his Eagle Scout project he approached several stores asking for donations and or discounts. One big box store, which rhymes with Dome Hepot, was unperceptive but the locally owned construction lumber company not only offered a generous discount but took time to review the project and make suggestions. Other scouts in our troop found similar responses from other merchants in our area.
The Man In My Life likes Lowe’s, but prefers to go to the small local hardware store y’all describe. Me, I avoid both. They whiff of testosterone. The only tools I am good with are stainless steel. I use hemostats and ring forceps in the kitchen, as well as scalpels (#10 blade, #3 handle)
Way back in past I was involved with developing a floral product for this particular box store.
They wanted to attract women buyers and/or entertain us with home décor items while the husbands shopped for more serious home improvement items. Little did they know that women are actually real buyers!
Anyway, I flew out to NC a lot, had a lot of meetings with people, put in a LOT of time designing and coming up with prototypes. Now, mind you, a salesman does not get paid until an actual sale is made, so this time was pro bono.
Get to point we think we have made a sale more or less. They bring out grand finale box to put the finished arrangements into. There is a heavy plastic wrap “window” where before there was a big open space. Put the arrangement in and the electric static sucks all the moss onto the “window”. No one had considered this! Or told me!
I don’t think you ever saw a home décor artificial floral department there.
Love, Jackie Monies
Lily, you use hemostats, forceps and scalpels in the kitchen? Really? Been perusing the Hannibal Lecter Cookbook, have you? 🙂
Although there has been the occasional lapse or two over the years, every other blog I’ve ever visited could take lessons in civility from this blog.
Nope. Most of the time, I use ring forceps when other cooks would use tongs, like for turning steaks or pork chops. Most recently, I was peeling the connective tissue off a rump roast, and I had three hemostats on the free edge and was slicing the meat away with my scalpel. worked like a charm, with little lost meat. I was copying another operation I could name but won’t that I have helped The Boss Of My Life do a bunch of times, except I didn’t have a Lily to hold up the clamps, so I used my left hand. I use suture scissors to open pouches and wrappers, too 😛
Wait, you get your ideas from your toes, Jimmy? Cool! All my toes do is help in preventing me from falling over forward.
I monitor several forums where I seem to be the only woman. My manly members sometimes drift onto controversial subjects, like politics, racial or sexist rants and forget to stay even moderately on topic. I am moderator.
So, like today they are talking about PL premium glue, I watch to see they stay somewhere near appropriate target and haven’t drifted onto religious or irreligious subjects. I learn who goes by which “name” to post and those are who I really watch.
If someone truly annoys me with their opinions I may not read them. If conversely there are those I enjoy I make certain to read what they say.
That is why I always sign my true name and have no “signature”. It gives you fair warning!
Love, Jackie Monies
David from Austin,
It’s not always that easy. Anyone who posts an opinion on something is often jumped on for that opinion if it doesn’t match the general consensus.
It’s happened to a number of people (not including those who come in and attack and are attacked back, mind you).
Some prefer to not post as a result.
Present company included. Been attacked here too many times.
Dave
Our local Ace Hardware is a joke – unfriendly and overpriced but the DoItBest in town are great. There are two of them and they’ve been owned by the same family for 50+ years, being associated with different franchise chains over the years. Knowledgeable, helpful employees, reasonable prices, good inventory. Everything one could ask for. I still make the 30 mile drive to the “woes” when I have large orders or need something the smaller store doesn’t stock but I much prefer the locals.
Jimmy, all day I’ve been having a ton of fun making up verses to Janis’ version of “The Ants Go Marching”.
Obviously there is a vast difference between attacks and expressing honest differences of opinions. If there have been wholesale attacks here, I have missed them.
As far as differences of opinions, I refer you to the George Patton quote of a few days ago. For those of you who don’t read the comments everyday…”If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”
GR6, I assure you, I’ve personally been attacked. Not had a discussion over a difference of opinion, outright attacked. I’ve also seen others get the same treatment.
Debbe, putting this here: I knew. Much love and admiration. Keep those chickens, laying’
Keep those eggs a movin’! Rawhide!
Love, Jackie Monies
I haven’t been here that long, but I have never seen anybody attacked. Made fun of, maybe, but who cares? My friends make fun of me all the time and I them.
If I am annoying, please do not read what I write. If I am insulting to anyone, please tell me so.
But as I said, I moderate three of the most polite boating groups on the internet, all full of men. My personal one allows religious opinions, so long as they are polite. We don’t do politics but you may be patriotic or pacifist, whatever you believe. One stays firmly on subject, the others roam more freely. Only one do I ever threaten commenters with a frozen fish or an oar alongside the head. And only once did I threaten to go to someone’s home with a nine foot oar and find him if he didn’t shut up with sexist remarks and his sex life!
By the way, to read real insults and slimy, nasty, rotten comments, go to the Wooden Boat Magazine’s forum and go to the Bilge. At least they keep them down there!
Love, Jackie Monies
I can only recall only one kerfuffle here in the Village that was getting ugly (for the life of me, though, I can’t recall the topic- probably “soda” versus “pop” or some other important issue of the day) and lucky JJ stepped in and reminded us to play nice.
I do recall some replies that were unpleasantly rebuffed but I never took them as being attacks (obviously not being the recipient, I can’t really vouch for how they were received), but I am truly sorry if someone took it that way. I think one reason things seem to be more civil in the Village is that we are self-policing and stay away from discussing the three taboo subject: sex, religion, and politics (OK, at least religion and politics). Any conversation about these topics are guaranteed to eventually upset someone, no matter what the original intent.
Quote of the day, from Tom Robbins’ “Still LIfe With Woodpecker”:
Now tequila may be the favoured beverage of outlaws but that doesn’t mean it gives them preferential treatment. In fact, tequila probably has betrayed as many outlaws as has the central nervous system and dissatisfied wives. Tequila, scorpion honey, harsh dew of the doglands, essence of Aztec, crema de cacti; tequila, oily and thermal like the sun in solution; tequila, liquid geometry of passion; Tequila, the buzzard god who copulates in midair with the ascending souls of dying virgins; tequila, firebug in the house of good taste; O tequila, savage water of sorcery, what confusion and mischief your sly, rebellious drops do generate!
Oh, and this is another one I never visit. Sailing Anarchy. There are some of my friends who will not even visit the Wooden Boat forum’s main topic sites for fear of ridicule and dissention. Unfortunately they are very sexist and don’t welcome women.
I learned a lot about cartoon history yesterday. The original group was a men only membership club that met at the Lamb’s club. They finally admitted women much later and not until Cathy Guiswaite did a woman win the Rueben, followed by Lynn Johnston.
This interested me because when I was a collegiate cartoonist for our campus newspaper I used a pseudonym, partly because I already had a weekly column and was an editor whose name was on articles a lot by-lined. But MOSTLY because there were no women cartoonists that we knew of and I was trying for a national collegiate cartooning award.
Love, Jackie Monies
Lily, I use hemostats to pull stubborn quilting needles through fabric.
We have a Home Depot. But my favorite place to shop is Menard’s. Too bad it’s about 30 minutes away.
They are really useful aren’t they? Bulldog tough and don’t take up all the room that Vise-grips do. And suture scissors are needle sharp, no need to tear into frozen baggies or tough store shrink wrap.
I like the ring forceps cause I am little and don’t have to worry about those great long tongs all the time. Though I do use them, particularly for grilling
Oh, forgot to mention that I used curved Mayo dissecting scissors to cut my vibrissae (nostril hair) without endangering the delicate mucous membrane.