Scratching Post

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I hope you had a good Memorial Day weekend. Memorial Day weekend always means the annual meeting of the National Cartoonists Society and the bestowal of NCS awards, highlighted by the “Reuben,” given to the outstanding cartoonist of the year. At the convention in Washington, DC, this year, that supreme accolade went to Roz Chast, magazine cartoonist and humorous illustrator. The award for Best Comic Strip went to Stephan Pastis, creator of Pearls before Swine. No, I did not attend this year’s meeting, but the Reuben weekend will be in Memphis next May (Remember where you heard it first!), and I plan to be on hand for that one.

261 responses to “Scratching Post”

  1. It’s always nice when a national (or international) event is local. I’m sure you’ll enjoy next year’s Memorial Day weekend even more than this year’s.

  2. Denise, to require a question mark, I believe the sentence would have to read “Am I wondering how Ghost is doing?” 🙂 But Ghost is doing fine, and thank you for wondering. Ghost in turn is wondering, “I wonder how Jean is doing.”

    PBS is an OK comic, but the “Best”? I suspect there might be contrary opinions here in the Village.

  3. I am glad that I am not a cartoonist. I do not care for Reubens…

    My wife had to re-do her website (click on my name) as the web provider would not support changes because her program was obsolete. That meant that she had to very carefully cut and paste everything on the new website program. Half way through she was dragging her mouse and suddenly the new website program went live and she lost all of her old stuff. Fortunately she was able to remember most of it but instead of writing to meet a June 16th deadline, she was putting her website back together. Fortunately I was outside putting out 26 bags of mulch so I did not hear her angst. However when she asked, I did click on the new website and wisely said “Hey, this looks pretty good.” Fortunately, I meant it.

  4. Words that I am already tired of: any word with uber-stuck on the front of it and second, any word with -ish attached to the end of it.

  5. Touching Memorial Day remembrance. A friend sent this to me today.

    I didn’t know this about 9-11
    AFTER FLIGHT 77 hit the Pentagon on 9/11, the following incident occurred:
    A chaplain, who happened to be assigned to the Pentagon, told of an incident that never made the news. A daycare facility
    inside the Pentagon had many children, including infants who were in heavy cribs. The daycare supervisor, looking at all the children they needed to evacuate, was in a panic over what they could do. There were many children, mostly toddlers, as well as the infants that would need to be taken out with the cribs.
    There was no time to try to bundle them into carriers and strollers. Just then a young Marine came running into the center and asked what they needed. After hearing what the center director was trying to do, he ran back out into the hallway and disappeared. The director thought, “Well, here we are, on our own.”
    About 2 minutes later, that Marine returned with 40 other Marines in tow. Each of them grabbed a crib with a child, and the rest started gathering up toddlers. The director and her staff then helped them take all the children out of the center and down toward the park near the Potomac.
    Once they got about 3/4 of a mile outside the building, the Marines stopped in the park, and then did a fabulous thing – they formed a circle with the cribs, which were quite sturdy and heavy, like the covered wagons in the Old West. Inside this circle of cribs, they put the toddlers, to keep them from wandering off. Outside this circle were the 40 Marines, forming a perimeter around the children and waiting for instructions. There they remained until the parents could be notified and come get their children.
    The chaplain then said, “I don’t think any of us saw nor heard of this on any of the news stories of the day. It was an incredible story of our men there.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room. The thought of those Marines and what they did and how fast they reacted; could we expect any less from them? It was one of the most touching stories from the Pentagon. It’s the Military, not the politicians that ensures our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag. If you care to offer the smallest token of recognition and appreciation for the military, please pass this on and pray for our men and women, who have served and are currently serving our country, and pray for those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.

  6. domaucan1, check Snopes on that. My ex is one of the world’s worst about forwarding stories to everyone, and so many are untrue that I have stopped paying attention except to verify them and let her know when she has been bitten by the bogus story bug.

  7. Any scandal that ends with -gate…

    I checked out Snopes and there was an interesting story from that day:

    The most interesting story having to do with the Pentagon’s daycare facility that day wasn’t primarily about the children or even the evacuation, but one of the parents. That morning, Col. William Stoppel of the National Guard dropped his 9-month-old son at daycare, then continued on to his office in the Pentagon’s inner ring, where he was assigned to the Department of the Army’s G-1 Office processing promotion packets. News of the attacks in New York prompted this dad to want to check on his son, so at the time the plane hit the Pentagon, he was in the daycare facility on the other side of the building (and thus helped to move kids to the field spoken of earlier).

    Unknown to him as he helped shepherd kids, Stoppel’s office had been one of those that sustained a direct hit. Many of his co-workers had perished in the attack, including the man with which he had shared a cubicle. Stoppel himself was presumed dead for the better part of the day.


  8. …and if there is any justice, Our Humble Author will bring home the hardware for Best Comic Strip. Being there in person will be a bonus!

  9. If you really want to keep Luddie away from the sofa, tack some plastic sheeting over the parts he claws and buy him a proper scratching post. Cats are creatures of habit and once he’s gotten accustomed to using hte scratching post you can safely remove the plastic.

  10. I have the alphabet book Steve Martin wrote that Roz Chast illustrated, made sure each set of grandkids has one, she did lots of stuff in the National Lampoon too.. .. . what a weird day ! rain gage tops out at 5 inches, I heard Richmond got 11 and Houston only got 10. I was out in a bathrobe, slippers and umbrella at 2AM to see what I had to clean up in the yard, spent all day doing that (one big hunk of pecan tree) and several pick-up bedfulls of other debris, went to work for a few hours in the afternoon and it was just like a weird quiet day after a hurricane where most people are home and there’s a lot less traffic. . and some dam in Bastrop State Park busted and swept a lot of people away, 3 years ago most of the park caught fire and burned up in the drought

  11. Many years ago, a man applied for the job as the bell ringer at a cathedral. “But my son,” the priest pointed out, “you have no arms to pull the bell rope.”

    “It is true that have no arms, padre,” the applicant said, “but I can still ring the bell.”

    Backing off, he took a running start and ran full speed into the bell. “BONG!” the bell tolled as he hit it face first. Admiring the man’s puck and determination in the face of adversity, the priest hired him on the spot.

    On Sunday morning, the man climbed to the top of the bell tower and, at the appointed time, ran into the bell. “BONG!” the bell tolled. However, he had misjudged the effect of repeatedly hitting the bell with his head and became woozy. On his fourth approach to it, he missed the bell entirely and plunged from the bell tower to the street below.

    A crowd gathered and a policeman arrived. “Does anyone know what this poor soul’s name was, so we may notify his family?” the gendarme asked.

    A parishioner who had left the cathedral to see what was the commotion looked down at the body and said, “I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell.”

    * * *

    There…another agonizingly lengthy pun that Pastis can use as a “Pearls before Swine” comic strip, gratis. Unless he already has.

  12. (A follow-up to Memorial Day)

    This past Friday, I received an email from a local theater chain, and it contained the following: “Wishing You a Safe and Happy Memorial Day. ~ Happy Memorial Day Weekend! ~ Yes, we’re open every day. After the parades have ended, load up the family and head to ### Theaters.” It then listed the special movies and merchandise available that weekend.

    Fortunately, the ad gave a toll-free number. I called to leave a message about my concern, and I also left my name and number.

    I am pleased to say that I received a call from one of their representatives this morning, and he thanked me for the call. He said that he was unaware of the ad’s contents and that he will ensure that the chain does nothing of the kind next year. He said that he knew full well that Memorial Day is a day of remembrance, not a “happy” one.

    I am hopeful that he will be able to keep his word. If he can, it is one small victory in wresting an important day of observance from the ever-increasing trivialization and commercialization of our history and culture.

  13. From yesterday post- and I did know what I was doing. It fits there and after
    Rick’s post here

    A Contemplative Memorial Day

    Debbe — Labor Day has since 1894 been first Monday in September.

    Decoration Day is May 30 –
    1971 Congress declared Memorial day to be the last Monday in May
    As it happens 2016 it will be May 30

    May 30 was chosen because it was NOT the anniversary of any battle in the Civil War.

  14. I know that there have been numerous parades, speeches, and individual acts to commoriate Memorial Day, but to me, yesterday was a holiday opening the summer season. May 30 is Memorial/Decoration Day. I shall visit the cemeteries and say a prayer for those who have given their lives in support of this Republic… Including my cousin who went down with his submarine mates during WW II. The sea was their cemetery. We ordinary citizens have no idea what our lives would have been like if those men and women had not stepped into the breach.

  15. Ghost – I believe he already has used that joke.

    New company takes over 4 June. Sat through a nine hour meeting just to give us a BRIEF overview of the new changes. If you hear anguished screams, rants and raving originating in the Midwest next week, don’t worry, it’s just us. Keep the embers banked for me – I want s’mores when I get back.

  16. Lady Mindy…not surprised; heard that joke probably 30+ years ago. “…and there is no new thing under the sun.” KJV

    Incoming new management normally takes one of two tacks…nothing-will-change-except-for-the-better or everything-will-change-but-it-will-be-for-the-better-because-old-management-was-lame. In my experience, neither should have any particular credence attached to them.

    “This, too, shall pass.” Which, by the way, does not come from the Holy Bible but is still a nice thought. Sort of Zen-ish, don’t you think? 🙂

  17. GR6
    The way I heard it
    The Chinese Emperor wanted a saying for his people so that they would not
    get too complacent when times were good or too discouraged when times were
    He called his trusted adviser/speech writer to come up with a saying – failure
    was the pain of death (isn’t that the way with top management?).

    The result was “This to shall pass.”

    It is all fleeting.

  18. Good morning Villagers….

    GR 😉 what a great song to start the day. Thank you. I always loved that song, the harmony they created made them great. The Eagles aren’t too shabby either in their harmony. And GR, thanks for the grin.

    Old Bear…thanks for the info.

    Indy Mindy….you have my sympathy…

    Rick…job well done on the ad changing.

    Re: the above retro, I love it. Sandcastler, I had two scratching posts..even put a little ‘nip on the one…but nooooo….they targeted my couch, I keep a squirt bottle handy 🙂

    Went in yesterday to find a motor had burned out in the feed fill system outside, so we’re operating on one motor to bring the feed into the house. We have two to do that. So, all the top feed troughs were empty. Took a while to pull feed in, but we got the old Miss Priissies fed. And they are getting mean too. I bent over to break up an egg blog and the next thing I knew, this hen pecked my head. She does it again and I’ll move her to the bottom cage 🙂 At 7:15 yesterday morning it was already 79 degrees in the hen house. Ian took inventory of operating fans….out of 68 fans, 29 are not functioning….The Boss REALLY needs to get this fixed before he goes on his NEXT vacation.

    Have a blessed ‘hump’ day.


  19. Old Bear:

    I like that one, too.

    And, to tell the truth, I am still much in contemplation.

    I find that each Memorial Day Observation hits me harder every year.

  20. Ghost, I’ve read that one before, but it still gives me a laugh. As for Uberish, nope. I don’t know, I still kind of like deflategate and such.

  21. I learned about a few years ago when I emailed one of those virus warning things that turned out to be false. Very useful site.

  22. Hi, Jean dear. You know what we always say around the Village…absence makes the heart grow panicky. 🙂

    From the looks of the Radarmaschine, it’s New Orleans’ turn today to get a considerable amount of rainfall. What could go withershins with that?

  23. Texas is kindly passing on all it’s extra rain to us, so beginning Monday evening-giving the picnickers time to get home-we have now gotten some 5 inches of rain. The foliage has that lovely lush look we are famous for and the air has that cottony texture that makes it hard to breathe and the locals have to explain “it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”.

    The thing about Memorial Day is this-do we count only those who lost their lives, or do we also count those who lost their way, and were never able to go back to a “normal” life, and were forever after lost to their families and themselves?

  24. Jean, Jean, great to hear from you. We will gladly share our bontiful rain crop with you.

    TR, will the IOC be next?

    Just back from dentist. Got a temporary crown on a tooth which cracked over the holiday. If this week is the start of “summer”, I am ready for fall.

  25. Hi, Jean! Good to hear from you! We count them all in the land of the living, the realm of the dead, and the terrible twilight wasteland between.

  26. sandcastler™:

    Here in Utah many of us think of the IOC as the International Organized Crime group. Back during the setting up of the 2002 Winter Olympics we Utahns got a lot of bad press in Europe because we figured out the IOC folks were raking, skimming, and laundering tons of money. Contracts were going first to favored individuals (IOC members’ sons, brothers, sons-in-law, etc.) who then were contracting with local businesses to get things done.

    That’s why Mitt was called in to ride roughshod the whole show. So, for a change, the usual parties didn’t profit and the 2002 Winter Olympics ended up in the black.

  27. TruckerRon, too bad the NFL, MLB, NBA, etc don’t get the same treatment y’all gave the IOC. Too many businesses of all types have gotten into the same racket: you want us here, give us land, forget about our taxes, put cash in our pockets, build our facilities, pay to train our employees for us. As a local newspaper writer said about a banking outfit in Birmingham recently, the city should have just told them, if you want to move, bye. But how are your employees going to like being uprooted to move to another state?

  28. Jerry in FL, nope. They are doing great and there is talk of us getting the new Aston-Martin plant which is going to be built in the US. One thing about it, getting the auto plants has added to our industrial base here, which had been in deep decline since the steel industry was killed off by imports.

  29. TR,

    I got a chuckle out of this comment. “Russia sport minister Mutko by phone seemed resigned to new FIFA investigation. “As long as mankind exists we’ll be discussing corruption.””

  30. “As long as mankind exists we’ll be discussing corruption.”

    I suppose one does not have to be a Russian official to realize that. But it couldn’t hurt. 🙂

  31. Thank you, Ruth Ann and Denise! It has been a rather uneventful, but nice, day. Tomorrow afternoon, I am getting together with four other friends for a celebration. Three of us have birthdays in May, so we will party-hearty! Well… at least have pizza! LOL

  32. Today I give personal thanks for vision. My ophthalmologist just told me that my eyes simply stay the same, whereas some folks, upon increased age, find failing sight. True, given that I haven’t needed a change in prescription for at least 6 years – possibly 8 or 10 – and that there are still no diabetic changes nor macular degeneration. Were it within my power, I’d grant that same to all. Thanks be to God.

    HB, gal!

  33. Happy birthday Gal. Pizza sounds like grand plan.

    Mail today contained a card from.Baylor University, seeking volunteers for an Alzheimer’s study. Wonder if they know something I don’t?

  34. Mark, then I don’t understand why every time that I drive by there are no new vehicles parked, no employees vehicles and no sign of life.

  35. Good morning Villagers..

    And belated birthday wishes, Gal, have a fun day….enjoy the pizza!

    Jean’s back 🙂 love your description of humidity, and S IN does get humid. It was 89 RH in the packing room yesterday…just love the feeling of sweat running down my ……..

    And if it was going to go wrong, it went wrong yesterday at work. Someone left the feed fill system on at the hen house. Needless to say, feeding troughs were over filled, except 2 and 4. Top auger was out, and spiraled down in the pit. Bottom egg belt rolled, thereby breaking a chain, so that meant four lines did not come in….look out egg blocks. The boys left the auger for this morning…to hot in the hen house by the time they got the outside motor replaced.

    Wonder how Indy Mindy is doing… management and all.

    GR 😉 today is down hill for me as for the work schedule. Going to $ General after work and finally buy those cleaning supplies for the hen houses….love spending his money. So do the boys…they love to charge his accounts.

    Ya’ll have a blessed day


  36. Debbe, that does sound like an awful day, one of those that makes you say “Things can only get better” (and then you hope they don’t get worse before the better shows up). Hope Indy Mindy isn’t having a rough week.

  37. Debbe: It seems to me that the “boss man” should be investing in some new and/or better equipment. And depends on his employees to pull his irons out of the fire!

  38. Thank you all for your birthday wishes. They are very much appreciated! But I don’t feel another year older… just another day older…

  39. With all the fuss about Ludwig’s destruction of furniture and his chasing of birds, one must bear in mind that he is actually a Yorkshire terrier:

    Of course, this was also during the same general time that Our Humble Author conducted the infamous Hair Poll, which did result in the eventual demise of The Saucepan hairdo, but did NOT exactly usher in the era of The Retro, even though it had won the poll…

    So who knows if Pogey is a flight of fancy or the actual actor behind Ludwig?

  40. Good morning Villagers…

    GR 😉 and Mark 🙂 thanks for the links, enjoyed all three.

    Denise and Ga….it got worse. Another stinking auger came out once they put a section in on the one that was out.

    My Miss Prissies will probably be going into a slight molt, they’ve missed several feedings in the past couple of days. When the feed fill system was left on that meant gear boxes were working over time. So, gears were replaced on the bad ones yesterday, but there were two factors involved here….someone left the feed system on, and someone did not check on the hen house that night like they were supposed to. Ian and Andrew. Talked with Davey about the egg production going down, and it will….he said he would take the blame…remember he’s the Boss’s ex-son-in-law. I don’t want fingers pointed just pull your heads out of your a$$, and stay with the job and get it done. My girls are hungry, even water consumption goes down when they don’t eat.

    With this avian virus going around, I don’t need The Corp. coming into my hen house. I have to phone in the mortality every day before noon. I average less than 10 per day. This just started since the virus hit the poultry business. I read your line you posted too, Mark.

    Glad school is out, got extra help coming in this morning. I’ve got two days’ worth of eggs laying on a bottom belt that is not pulling. Have to transfer those eggs to other moving belts.

    Thank you all for letting me share the trials and tribulations of managing a hen house 🙂

    Ya’ll have a blessed day


  41. Gal…you’re right about the harmony giving one chills…..sang it yesterday at work, just listened to it again, and will sing it again at work….drives Ian crazy, yesterday he quoted Jeff Bridges’ comment to the taxi driver who had the radio on in the movie “The Great Lubowski”…something about “is that the Eagles? I hate the ^%$# Eagles.”….got to watch that movie again sometime.

  42. Debbe, that means keep the cat off Barbie cars and Roomba vacuum cleaners! 😀

    We miss you, emb, and hope your computer is soon repaired.

    Today’s real-time strip made me think of roadsides in rural Michigan. If something is next to an “honor” box, put money in box and take thing. If something has a sign with a number on it, walk up to door, give owner money, and take thing. If something is within six feet of the road, it’s free to whoever wants it; take thing.

  43. “The award for Best Comic Strip went to Stephan Pastis, creator of Pearls before Swine.”

    eh…? *yawn* I’d sooner read “Garfield.”

  44. Debbe 😉 I’m sure most people think the hens feed themselves; the eggs pack themselves; and the poop scoops itself…if they think about it at all. We all know better.

    Thanks, sand, but as the wing suit jumper probably thought to himself during the ill-fated Yosemite jump, “What’s the worst that could go wrong?” *SPLAT*

  45. I’m thinking about asking out a deputy sheriff I met recently. She’s always armed; trained in hand-to-hand combat; and has a K-9 partner that worships the ground she walks on. What’s the worst that could go wrong?

  46. Oh, that’s right, Jean dear. And steers are born in the meat department, sliced and packed neatly in plastic covered trays.

    I once had a boss who opined that he wanted nothing to do with any “sport” that didn’t give him a second chance if something went wrong, such as skydiving, bungee jumping or SCUBA diving. He said he would happily stick with fishing…if worst came to worst, and your lure got hung up on a snag, break the line, attach another lure, and keep on fishing.

  47. Five year old’s written response to what he will remember about his kindergarten year. “We did meth.” Progessive schooling.

  48. The requested URL was rejected. If you think this is an error, please contact the webmaster.

    Your support ID is: 13078553749660187525

  49. JJ,

    Received the above error when attempting to post a longish message. The short form seems to be okay… Didn’t have any URLs in message and I don’t think there are any forbidden words. Talked about floods, lake levels, and health improvements (with no medical terms or latin).

  50. Their music is nice, but “The Alan Parsons Project” for a name? Somehow, that sort of jangles. Like a heavy metal band named “The George (Buddy) Phillips Mallet of Destruction”. 🙂

    Debbe 😉 Happy Payday, hon.

  51. Popping in for a moment. Corporate is losing their collective minds concerning the change over. We now have daily itineraries for next week. Wednesday, day one change over, keeps getting earlier and earlier MUST BE DONE AT ALL COSTS deadlines. For our Illinois stores, this means they have to have all of the first tasks complete by four am. Finally! A reason to rejoice in following DST. Staffing at most of the stores is still critical. For all those inclined, please pray all of the lottery jackpots are hit over the weekend. No one wants a lottery buying frenzy in the middle of this mess. It’s bad enough new scratchies come out next week. Off to bed.

  52. Returning to an earlier subject, I reported on Facebook that some of you folks here were miffed at being wished a “Happy Memorial Day”, and rightly so. Told them of someone’s good idea to “Have a Thankful Memorial Day”. My Facebook friends liked that, and my classmate Carmen suggested that the “Happy” wish is almost like saying, “Have fun at the funeral”.

  53. Bear, I’m wont to say about the ones that deserve it that they are about as bright as a small appliance bulb. Did not realize how accurate I was being. 🙂

  54. Another day, another dollar. Going in early so I can high-tail out early. Sister and BIL are coming over; I am taking them up to see mom’s grave – they have not seen it yet. Everyone please keep your fingers crossed today goes smooth.

  55. Good morning Villagers….

    Indy Mindy, will be thinking about ya and pray that all does go well at the store…..

    Denise, that was cute…thanks for the grin (Barbie doll car…had an image of that 🙂 )

    Now on my end, it isn’t getting any better…going in early too. The boys need to buy a new gear box for one of the bottom augers. They need to get it early so the hens can feed. I’ve gone down in egg production…12 cases short yesterday. My daily average is about 180 cases a day. This weekend will go down even more….The Corp will be out…maybe. I hope not. I’ve got too many maintenance issues.

    Good news though about the 29 fans not running though….it’s going to much cooler next week!! And that $550 for 2 1/2 gallons of weed killer….it works! So there’ll be no weed issue if the The Corp does come out next week. One thing I do, is I document everything at work…I keep a journal of what, when and why. But The Boss will not know about the feed system being left on overnight….that is not in the journal. Some things ya just not need to tell 🙂

    Jean….I feel like Wiley at times… the pic.

    Mark, yes I do like The Alan Parsons Project….but I never knew why they were call Project until now….thanks.

    gotta go

    Happy Caturday

    GR 😉


  56. Mindy, fingers and toes crossed for you!

    I found a 1 1/4″ tomato on a plant yesterday afternoon. I would swear it wasn’t there in the morning. The last two summers, the tomatoes haven’t produced well, so I’m hoping for a better season. I like to freeze them for winter use. And of course, eat a ton once they come in. How are the rest of the Village gardens doing?

  57. Old Bear, I resemble that light bulb remark.

    From this mornings offering, the Day family must be living near us. Was sunny when we went out for breakfast, now turning cloudy. Loon is out tending her gardens and moaning all the drought tolerant plants they are dying from too much rain. Need less than two inches rain to break the 1922 record.

    Loon came in complaining of mosquitoes. She says next we will have a West Nile warning. Welcome to Planet Earth, the weather here will be variable.

  58. Because of the unusually wet weather we have had, we won’t be putting our garden in until Monday… providing the roofers are done by then. It’s going very quickly because we chose to go with a metal roof. They won’t have to remove the old asphalt shingles… the new roof goes on top of the old… and that is saving a lot of time and money.

    Do any of y’all have metal roofs?

  59. Had weird dreams last night. Dreamed of EMB – not that he was weird, just the dream! In the dream he was married and he and his wife lived in an apartment close to me. He told me that there were 53 steps between his first and second floors. Maybe it was a nightmare!

  60. Thanks, TR. Next time I walk into a bra, I’ll plead dyslexia as an excuse.

    BTW, I have a friend who belongs to MDA…Moms Against Dyslexia.

  61. “Luann” is heating up. One site seems to show strips in advance of the date, so one can see what is to come before many other folks do.
    Her mom seems the picture of equanimity as of late….

  62. Sometimes, Jean, I have to remind myself: “Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”

    Those must be some high ceilings, Gal!

    I’m sorry to hear about the rain’s impact on the garden, sand. I’ve never thought before about heavy rains impact on drought tolerant plants. I hope they can recover.

    TruckerRon, we had the roof reshingled and gutters replaced about five years ago, and I’m still finding roofing and gutter nails. Wonder how many more I’d have encountered if they hadn’t used their magnetic doodad to pick them up? 😉 Is a metal roof nailed on, or do they used something else to fasten it?

  63. All of the drought tolerant plants are gone; poor babies drowned. Now sand is saying the weather service has heavy rains forecast for this evening.

    “Big girl panties?” That remark ought to get attention. Must be frilly Saturday in the Village. First bras, now panties.

  64. That old poster “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” has never been more true for me. Yesterday was my last day as a school librarian – I am officially retired!

    I have been thinking about some things that were said to me recently about how educators seem to be more successful than some other professions at making the transition to retirement. Here are some of the reasons that I believe may be behind that: our summers off have allowed us to practice life without a routine daily work schedule; our summers off have also taught us to live on a budget; working with students encourages (or forces) us to think young; and probably most important, we not only preach lifelong learning, we practice it. In retirement we will get to choose what interesting new things we will learn – and it won’t be some gradebook or attendance software that the district decides to switch to just when we figured out the old system.

  65. Fort those who may not have heard, Yahoo has had a major glitch and is showing the coming week’s comics today ( all of them!). Including A&J …so if you want to get a view ahead, go to Yahoo and search for comics … chose A&J or your comic choice from their list.

  66. Congratulations Ruth Anne! I tried to retire 10 years ago, and it didn’t work. I may have learned how to do it, but I am not sure yet!

  67. Very good TruckerRon, and funny too. Looks like Robin Williams with a beard.

    So, Ruth Anne, you are saying teaching is rather like Travis McGee’s routine in his novels. You take your retirement in small chunks till the real thing happens? Glad you are ready and hope it will be great for you.

  68. A favorite old joke:

    Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’

    She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

    She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

    The defense attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
    ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.

  69. Good morning Villagers…..

    So many good posts above with links….

    Jean, love the dog pics,

    Denise, big girl panties….I wear one size fits all 🙂 Am envious about your ‘mater, we didn’t put out anything this year, and yes, it’s been wet here also. But the fields are sprouting corn and soybeans….

    TR…I too always liked that joke.

    Ruth Anne…congratulations, and a big thank you. You seem to have been a fine mentor, I am sure you will be missed. Have you thought about substitute teaching? I’ve done some of that in between jobs….junior high and up.

    GR 😉 couldn’t get the link up, said try again and I will as I so badly want to hear Clarence and Jackson, don’t think I’ve ever heard the song. And yes, I am home today. Poor Ian 🙂 , is working though…seven straight days….hahahahahaha

    And all is back to normal feedings at the hen house.

    The puns, when I read the ‘bra’ one, sorry GR, but the first person I thought of was GR 😉 and you didn’t fail me with your post on the subject.

    Gal, what did you eat before bedtime. Emb and 57 stairs….I hope he is still able to read…I’m sure he’ll get a ‘kick’ out of your dream.

    Indy Mindy…how was your time with your sister and BIL?

    Loon, sorry about your plants…and the ‘squitors…didn’t Denise mention one time that Avon’s Skin-so-Soft works in keeping the little blood suckers away.

    No gocomics here either…so it’s yahoo time…got to get my morning fixes in.

  70. Debbie – There is not enough money in the world to make me even consider being a substitute! I’ve seen what the kids do to them 🙂

  71. More rain, more flooding. Areas of Richmond and Rosenburg south of the Brazos river are under evacuation warning. Hope John is okay. River flood warnings in Houston now extended to 8:30 PM Tuesday

  72. Ruth Anne, congratulations on your retirement, and may you enjoy it to the fullest!

    I did work as a substitute teacher for a couple of years before my children were born. It made me even more sure my decision not to become a teacher was the right choice.

    I was out for a bit the other day putting in some extra tomato plants, and the gnats were really bad. For once they outdid the skeeters.

  73. Dear Jackie Monies, hope you can see this. Is your place on the lake okay, with the rain and flooding we are reading about? You were planning to be far away from Oklahoma at this time, are you enjoying your travels? Thinking of you and wondering where you are and what’s going on. Love, Charlotte

  74. I’m so sorry that happened, Loon. A garden is such a personal thing that a loss like this really hurts.

    Ruth Anne, congratulations! You’ve made some very cogent points about why educators function well after retiring, points everyone could benefit from incorporating into their lives. I know you’ll have a purposeful and happy retirement!

    Debbe, that is terrible! Keeping you and the situation in my prayers. (And yes, it was Avon’s Skin-So-Soft or Off’s equivalent—Skintastic—that works well for skeeter magnet me. Might be worth trying for gnats, Jean.)

    Still raining, Steve, and I heard the Clinton River is over its banks.

    Prayers for all those affected by flooding throughout our country. sand, besides John, is David in a hard hit area, too?

  75. Denise, very possible David could also have wet feet. Austin is very hilly compared to Houston, a lot depends on location. We are about a mile from Buffalo Bayou, a major source of the downtown flooding. So far in our area it has not gotten unruly, just over the banks.

  76. Ruth Anne, I know somebody who works as a substitute teacher. Judging by some of the things he says and does (and what he thinks are appropriate to put in the minutes of a meeting of the Board of Directors of a club) it’s a good thing for the students that he’s only a substitute. Several of us have speculated that this is why he’s not a regular teacher.

  77. Debbe 😉 I hope the “one size fits all” big-girl panties of which you speak are not the ones referenced by this old joke…

    Q: What do you look for in an older woman?
    A: Depends.

  78. GR6, nope. It and the TV/monitor were both steam powered. They changed over to kerosene after all the problems with those tiny steam coils clogging.

  79. sandcastler(tm), you’re welcome. Herman has been one of my favorite comics since I first read it in the 1970’s. There were so many good laughs that I would be hard put to name a favorite.

  80. GR6, you remember the big nuclear powered units? Kept behind locked doors, used water cooling to transfer reactor heat, and required techs to oversee them. Todays lithium-ion pocket devices are true marvels of engineering; computing in your pocket without turning your levis to toast.

  81. Nor roast your chestnuts, either, sand. 🙂

    Meaning no disrespect for Miss Tuscaloosa (nor for Miss Auburn-Opelika Area), I’d have to cast my vote for Meg McGuffin, Miss Phenix City. Something about that ash blonde hair and those hazel eyes just does it for me.

  82. Lady Mindy, if it’s any consolation, the last time I went through a major (top-down) reorganization, for a week or so my days’ duties began by meeting with my all-female staff, getting them to stop (literally) crying, and convincing them that everything would turn out OK.

    It did.

  83. We have been out of town and also using the computer for actual business. I have not had a chance to catch up and don’t know if I will, but I must mention my sympathy for Vice President Biden on the loss of his son. Only 46 years old and , after all of the vp’s other losses, this is horrible.

  84. Good morning Villagers….

    Was going to check back in when I got home yesterday, but I was too tired and devastated. We lost 2003 hens. Thunderstorm knocked out the electricity Saturday evening. The generator had a faulty break switch and did not kick on. (Every Monday, it kicks on for trial and run, and it did last Monday so it was ok then) We have an alarm that goes off at The Corp and and The Boss gets a call. With no fans running, the temp inside the hen house got up to 99 degrees and probably higher. The hens actually suffocated. I’d say about 95 percent of the total dead were all from the top tier cages.

    It was horrible to look down the aisles and see the carcasses laying in the aisles. I came home in a depressed state of mind. How could this happen? A faulty switch breaker? Could lightening have hit the building? Another employee was called by The Boss to check it out. Why weren’t we called here, Ian should have been called in. Too much lack of communication. The Corp will be out today, you can bet on that.

    My concerns and sympathy for those who are affected by the flooding. Stay safe.

    ya’ll have a blessed day

    Thanks for the grin, Mark….may have to start checking out the strip.

  85. That’s a tough one Debbe, emotionally and physically. One step at a time. You can do this. The Corp may act like the world depends on you working yourself into a tizzy, but it doesn’t. What’s the very worst that can happen? You get really sick, so don’t.

  86. Strip of 06.01.15 (All dressed up and somewhere to go):

    I have seen photos of the crowds at baseball games in the 1910s and 20s.

    Almost every adult male was wearing a suit coat/jacket, tie, perhaps a vest, and a hat.

    Of course, it wasn’t all that long ago that nearly everyone dressed up when going downtown.

    By the way, do people still go downtown to shop, or has that died in all towns, as it has here?

  87. Debbe, your tales of work are leading me to question consumption of all chicken products. You have my respect for the work you do, not a job many could handle.

    “totally kick-butt” never saw that in a strip before. Are you challenging the censors? How many papers will alter the language?

  88. Rick @5:02AM got me curious, I had to google street view Shermantown, looks like their downtown Main street has a couple real stores on it, “downtown” Richmond or Rosenburg is mostly antique / resell shops but there are some pretty good hand made or specialty furniture stores. I was surprised when I saw Big Nate call someone a “butt-nugget”. .. .. .. So I’m on a ten mile hike in one of my groups and almost everything everywhere is muddy at least in some places, so a wonderfully attractive woman, my age more or less, happens to be next to me as a lot of us are skirting a muddy stretch and various people at different spots instinctively reach for each others hands and I insanely flippantly said watch, all of us in a row will hang on to each other and we’ll all fall in and she said don’t worry I won’t touch you. Stupid stupid stupid, what’s wrong with me? But we did have hours of pleasantries for the rest of it. I asked her about going down US290 east of Fredericksburg to buy peaches and as we got in our cars to leave, she said “sounds great”! not sure we was serious. I’m 57 – I don’t know how to go a-courtin’ !

  89. Debbe – I am so sorry! I am fortunate that I have had few episodes of tragedy in my life, but of course everyone has hard spots that come up. No flooding for me this time in Conroe, north of Houston (although we’ve had 14+ inches of rain this month) but I went through it when the waters rose when we lived in New Orleans in 1995. Jerry has the right idea for weathering the storm. First, tell yourself it is okay to feel awful – you have had a tragedy – then do something about it. One step at a time. And realize that while things are going to be bad for awhile – you have had a tragedy – that you will get through it and things will get better. It’s just going to take awhile. Meanwhile – You’ve got a lot of people pulling for you. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. You are the most important part of the solution.

  90. Debbe, what Jerry said. {{hugs}}

    Thanks, sand, but I’m pretty sure we’ll have more than enough skeeters in a day or so, as muggy as it’s been the last week or so. 🙂

  91. Debbe, I can’t say it any better than others here have already–just want you to know that I am also sending my hugs and prayers.

  92. Debbe: All of us (at least those of us who actually care about our jobs and do not fall into the “Zero Flips Given” category) tend to be guilty of beating ourselves up for things that happened on the job over which we had no control. Losing over 2000 of your “girls” the way you did is certainly a prime example of that. The ball was dropped by other people, and it appears the situation could have been pretty easily avoided if those people had done their jobs as they should have. That said, I realize that it was still a traumatic experience for you…because you do care. Don’t stop.

    Prayers and hugs.

  93. In The News: A Porsche, with a driver that apparently could not tell the accelerator from the brake, plowed into a terminal building at LAX, injuring himself and two others. Reminds me of the old joke from the Autobahn:

    Q: What’s the difference between a Porsche and a porcupine?
    A: The porcupine has a nasty prick on the outside of it.

  94. Debbe, sorry for the loss. Sounds like somebody (the initial contact from boss) may need to lose their job.

    Here’s a new attempt at the error-causing message, copied and pasted before I attempted to post (I always do that for long messages– saves aggravation if I goof up or the computer crashes):

    [long message still causes the error…trying in sections]

    Flooding has been substantial, but most damage in Central Texas has been south of here. Wimberly is about an hour away. Devastation there and much damage in San Marcos. Lots of water and damage in Houston area, too.

  95. We had short-lived flash floods in my area on Memorial Day, but nothing like a little further south (or Houston)! There was about 18″ rushing water over the bridge at the entrance to our neighborhood. We were out, so had to wait on the other side until it subsided enough to cross safely. The bridge lost an area of pavement about 20 square feet, but stayed solid. The same creek runs across the back of our lot. The debris caught and destroyed about 100 feet of woven field wire fence. Luckily, the electric fence stayed up, so the two beef steers didn’t get out. The pull was strong enough that it unseated the corner post and H-post support. It also bent steel T-posts into U-shapes. This is the second time in as many years that a corner of the fence has been flooded and damaged. This time I will replace that section with barbed wire. Hopefully it will catch less debris and will not be as easily flood damaged.

  96. The good news is that one of the major water-supply lakes here (Lake Travis) has risen about 37 feet since May 1st. Fourteen more feet until it is full. The other water supply lake (Buchanan) hasn’t fared quite as well. It is only 50% full, and is about 22 feet below maximum level. We still need a lot more rain to the northwest, but hopefully we can get it without substantial flooding.

  97. Health-wise, I’m doing well. My wife and I did our first real vacation is many years a couple of weeks ago. We flew to Arizona, visited Sedona, rode the Grand Canyon Railway, and stayed in the Grand Canyon for a couple of days. I didn’t hike into the canyon, but did walk around some on the rim. It was a substantial improvement when compared to a year ago when I was in locked braces and a wheelchair! The transplant is perking along, and my general health is improving. Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers over the past couple of years.

  98. David, good news all around.

    GR6, careful with your Porsche commentary. A certain Villager drives a 911 and she would not take kindly to being called a prick.

  99. the only nasty flood stuff I saw with my own eyes in areas I am in regularly, sort of up and down US90Alternate out of downtown Houston to Sugar Land, Richmond Rosenberg was in Meyerland along Brays Bayou west of where the West Loop IH610 becomes the South Loop IH610 – people’s entire household of belongings are all on the curb as garbage several blocks back from the bayou. I live north of the Brazos, where it makes a bend (hence Fort Bend County) and it is FULL

  100. David, that is good news about Lake Travis. We have friends in that area; the pictures they have posted showing the drop in the water level have been mind-boggling. I’m sure they will be thrilled to hear the news next time they have internet access – they’re currently sailing around French Polynesia!

  101. Note to sand: Joke applies only to maniacal Autobahn drivers, which category I am sure does not include aforementioned female 911 pilot. 🙂

  102. Yay, Judy, David, and John are okay! Good to hear from you folks. Courtin’ may feel awkward, John, but being companionable and friendly are right up your alley, I would bet!

  103. Nice attempt at face saving, oh Ghostly one. There is a depression in the floor pan on the passenger from someone’s foot trying to break.

  104. Thank you for the update, David. As an Arizonan since 1968, and one very proud of my state, glad you visited. I highly approve of the things you did, and we are all highly grateful that you are now able to do them! Go Donors!

  105. I confess, her braking reaction times do scare me. We also have insurance premiums that attests to one of us being a bit of a bumper car driver.

  106. That’s why, when I was flight instructing, I was glad the training aircraft had dual controls.
    Of course, then you were faced with the dilemma of deciding when was too soon to take over the controls…and when was too late.

    It was usually more clear cut in the latter case.

  107. Ghost, if you had ever been too late, Ghost would not be a nickname.

    Congratulations on your recovery David. Keep it up.

  108. Daid, I didn’t know your history. Good for you. I expected to be in a wheelchair by now, but I am not. I used a cane very briefly but not now. I would not dare climb up on the roof or other places I used to go. I wouldn’t stand too close to the rim of the Grand Canyon, but I hope to see it someday. Once we get moved I will do more traveling.

  109. Trucker
    All the out buildings have metal roofs – The way it is going We should get the house
    that way too. We pay for a 30 year shingle – it lasts 10 and we get less than $500.
    Some of the tin is 40years and going strong.

    You have to search far and wide to find a clean Limerick

  110. 15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times as much information as Wikipedia.

    Accessing what is stored there is the real conundrum.

  111. Good morning Villagers….

    Thanks for the hugs and prayers and empathy….this Village is wonderful. Thank you Jimmy for this blog. We’ve all become friends thru your comic strip.

    I had my big cry yesterday, and yes there were three people from The Corp. It was determined lightening struck, a power surge and the rest is history. A new alarm (a sensaphone of some sort that reads the inside temp) was installed. Four phone numbers were put on it. The first number was The Boss, this his main man, and the feed mill. I told them they needed a land line for after hours at the mill. The Boss looked at me and said…what’s your number? I thought, ok, step up woman, you opened your mouth…so I said 867-5309 (not reallly 🙂 ) I gave them my land line, so Ian and I are on the 4th response.

    The head electrician/maintenance man, who was there in the morning, called later and wanted to know about what time the storm hit…I said around 6ish…he said he believed lightening hit it. I told him I thought the same thing…..and that is what he was going to say to the head cheeses.

    David…that is great news, keep on truckin’. I am very happy for your success. As Nancy said above ….GO DONORS!

    I see eMb is back 🙂

    Sandcastler…there are many times I have to be starving to eat an egg. And I hate chicken legs.

    Judy..I read and reread your post….thanks, and you are right…I am part of the solution…that’s why I gave them my land line.

    There is good news though… roosters were not affected, I heard them crowing Sunday morning, but didn’t get around to checking on them until yesterday. They are in the top cages.

    Ya’ll have a blessed day.


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