Stuffing Nonsense IV

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I’ve noted the doubt creeping in about the much-discussed, often-promised A&J tee shirts. Expect a semi-big announcement toward the end of next week. And give me a break: who goes Christmas shopping before December, anyway?

153 responses to “Stuffing Nonsense IV”

  1. Dang Smartphone corrects me furtively between typing and pisting. His name is Hal.

    Hal is going to freeze over if he keeps this up.

    My plumber called at 7 a.m. I went to bed at 3:30 a.m. I need to get dressed.

    Debbe if you did Facebook I would tell you to look at my 1990s Texas Big Hair photo with the Dragon Lady three inch nails.

  2. Debbe 😉 One member of my all-female staff is 5’5″ and weighs 113. So, yes, girl, you are lithe, slender, slim, svelte, and possibly even wiry.

    Anonie, the pictures that would get me to open a Book of Faces account you have already said you are pretty certain do not any longer exist. 🙂

  3. Trapper Jean, I think the reason your mom’s fudge was grainy was due to the sugar used in it. Look at the ingredient list of most ready-made fudge and you find sugar substitutes such as sorbitol. I have had fudge from candy stores where they make their own which has that grainy texture and reminds me of homemade. Must be using real sugar.

  4. And there it is, the jaded teenage “slice of life” commentary done so well by Our Humble Author.

    The most potent weapon in a parent’s arsenal versus a teenager is the power to embarrass them. It is bad enough when the moron parents do so unintentionally (apparently most people have their memories erased upon graduation from high school, so they can remain unable to relate to their teenagers), but when the prospect of intentionally embarrassing them appears, it is Serious Business.

    I read of a fellow who was the Class Clown, continually disrupting things for his teachers. His mother got wind of it and got a bunch of guff back from Mr. Class Clown. So she told him that if she ever heard from any of his teachers that he was disrupting things again, she would simply accompany him the next day to school and stay at his side the entire day. She would sit with him in class and at lunch and if he visited the restroom, she would wait outside the door for him.

    He was a Model Citizen thereafter.

    One of my brother’s teenaged sons heard this tale read and could not help himself and instantly blurted out, “God, just SHOOT me!” 😀

  5. True that, Evan. As a teen, I was very easily embarrassed. Now, nothing (and I mean *nothing*) embarrasses me.

    Of course, I was very shy as a teen, but I got over that, too. Boy, did I get over that! 🙂

  6. Nancy Kirk in AZ on 13 Nov 2015 at 12:49 pm #
    I was reading Facebook before I came here today and LOVED the pictures, Anonie! And I totally recognized the smile from more current pictures. Of course I loved the Texas big hair!!!!

    As you can see, l did as others here have done and posted on the end of yesterday instead of today. So here it is again.

  7. Dear emb, I saw your reference to WQXR, and I am listening to it at this very moment, on Internet radio. Maybe you do too? I lack expertise in this area and don’t even know how to use iTunes, but I found a way, and can tell you if you are interested.

  8. Nancy thank you. The one on the grass was taken when I was a young Lolita of thirteen by a professional photographer. That is when I got discovered by a modeling school in NY and offered a teen modeling contract. Mama said New York City was no place for a young girl and wouldn’t let me go. Teen models for magazines had short careers because THEY are short, I am five one. You couldn’t do adult modeling or run way if you are short and tiny.

    I don’t know Ghost, I didn’t know these existed either?

  9. First reports are always confused and confusing, but even taking that into account, it sounds bad in Paris and perhaps other areas of France.

  10. I stopped about 4 pm to get my car washed, walked into the waiting room where there was no one, but the tv was on and a loud profanity came out of me. I am still extremely upset.

  11. I thought that earlier I heard someone on tv say that the Eagles were performing at that concert in Paris, but I thought that I probably misunderstood. I have now seen the theater marquee that says EAGLES. Possibly it is another group from the Eagles that we know.

  12. There are actually live cams in Paris that you can pull up, but the city is pretty much shut down with an occasional car crossing the Seine and blue lights scattered across the city. It isn’t dawn yet and you will see more by watching the news.

  13. I woke from a screaming nightmare to a real one. I will not watch TV but I fear for our world.

    “I would have to say peace, world peace,” isn’t such a joke at times like these. Maybe all us dumb blondes and Miss America got it right.

  14. I second emb – MPR does it as good or better than anyone
    My new boss claims way better than any he has heard across the country.

    Pray for the grieving

  15. I bet MPR is good too. On my list is VPR which is Vermont Public Radio. Their selections are very pleasing and I even donate a modest sum to their fund drives. Embarrassingly, NH — a close neighbor of Vermont — has an NPR station but there is no music on it! I don’t listen so not sure what’s going on.

  16. True, Anonie. But I fear the civilized world will no more be able to obtain world peace than all those “dumb blondes” and Miss America contestants could.

    And I’m not very sanguine that Paris’s agony is entirely over yet, remembering how much destruction was caused by a double-handful of attackers in Mumbai in 1993.

  17. I remember so well those hours in our university studio as disc jockey for the pre-NPR version for Louidiana. I spun classical and opera. I already loved the music but zip came away loving it even morel. Listening to classical piano and violin duets as we speak.

    Of course I woke up to the Paris attacks listening to Queen .

  18. About Paris, obviously these goons had already gotten their weapons and targets picked some time ago. Now France closes its borders. Too late and too near the source with land routes to use. Just awful for all of France. Good night and better days for all of us.

  19. I’m not holding my breath waiting for any news source or politician to accurately describe the terrorists’ affiliation with any particular group or religion. The motive will also remain a mystery.

    From Wiki:

    The Trolley Square shooting was a mass shooting that occurred on the evening of February 12, 2007, at Trolley Square Mall in Salt Lake City, Utah, United States. A lone gunman, identified as Sulejman Talovi?, killed five bystanders and wounded four others before being shot dead by police. The FBI was not able to determine a motive, declaring it was not an act of terrorism.

    I happened to be in Utah that day and heard the live reports from local radio stations. The “lone gunman” was shouting, according to witnesses fleeing the scene, an all-too-familiar phrase as he hunted for unarmed innocents to slaughter.

  20. Good morning Villagers….

    Yesterday, my co-worker, Mikey, came into work with a deer that had just been hit by a car and was laying dead not far from the road. It was a young buck. I went out to look. As we stood there I noticed how beautiful he was, and was sad.

    Mikey said, you don’t like hunting do you? I said not really, I like life. If one is hunting for food, then so be it, but to hunt just for the thrill of the kill I do not approve of. I looked at him and said…one day, we may become the hunted……not knowing about was taking place in Paris.

    My prayers are with those whose life tragically ended and for those who survived.

    And I am so depressed about my Dad and his inability to see his living conditions. Going in again today, also will be talking to my sisters about how to remedy this situation.

    GR 😉 and yes, I am willowy and wiry 🙂 and can be full of BS when I want to be.

    Have a blessed day everyone.

  21. I do not hunt. Having said that, if I am ever at the scene of a mass shooting throw a chair at them , pick up a table, do something. If there are many people they can’t shoot everyone. And it usually does no good to say please don’t shoot me. Locally we are the sister city of a town in France. I will be placing flowers at the sign later.

  22. Some how music from Les Miserable has been playing on my radio in background not put there by me, other appropriate beautiful piano and cello music mainly. It brings me peace.

    I am not selecting it but someone is, Imagine, Hallelujah, similar songs, beautiful tranquil music.

    Try it. Love.

  23. Debbe, I agree with you entirely about hunting. You are such a well put together person. I hope you can figure out your father’s problems and tactfully (or not!) do what needs to be done.

    Jackie, listening to music all day is a journey through a host of memories and feelings. The feelings are all different but they are all good. It’s the best thing to do. You follow this path also, I see.

  24. Ms. Charlotte, I turned the car radio on as I drove from the hospital after taking Mike off life support. I have rarely turned it off since. I go to sleep with it and wake up with it. A lot of different types of music.

    Right now I am in car and Mozart Piano Concerto #22 is playing.

    When I woke up to learn about the Paris attacks it was the English rock group Queen playing. Sometimes it’s baroque, sometimes it is opera, sometimes it’s country and western, bag pipers, you name it, I listen.

    By the way, the inspector did not show up yesterday or today so I am without gas still. In the overall scope of things, a minor inconvenience.

  25. You are right, Jackie — with so many awful things going on in the world, our problems seem tiny, indeed. And because tomorrow is Sunday, the gas person won’t show up. But you can handle everything with ingenuity.

    We are so fortunate to live in the 21st Century and be able to hear any music we want, with almost no effort at all. (As long as we have electricity!) When I think of the untold generations who couldn’t do this at all, I feel sorry for them. Well, they didn’t know what they were missing.

  26. Charlotte in NH, I agree about the music. And that’s why I belong to two different services. Spotify allows me to pick what I want to hear and will either play straight through the list or play randomly. Pandora allows me to list who I like, and then randomly mixes my group/genre choices with others it finds similar, so many surprises. And gives me ideas to add to the Spotify list.

    And of course you can now listen to streaming radio from all over if you can stand the commercials.

    Anonymous, I’m looking for a radio to replace the original in my car. It’s so old I can see the display anymore and it won’t let me hook my smartphone to it so I can listen to my favorites. Unfortunately it was made in the period between the end of cassettes and the smartphone era. So I can’t use the cassette type adapter or the USB plug either.

  27. can’t see, not can see. That’s as bad as when I texted my brother this morning. I told him I was not going to be home before 12 due to having my car worked on. His response was OK, hope the kitty is ok. Kitty, what kitty? was my thought. I reread my text and it had gone out as having the cat worked on.

  28. Charlotte: Yes, we are fortunate to be able to have all the world’s music at our fingertips. However, while there are still lots of musicians out there, there are even more people who are only listeners (and never think to be anything more). A hundred years ago playing an instrument was almost expected of a reasonably educated person. Gathering to sing together was not limited to organized groups or the exceptionally talented – it was regular entertainment, pre-broadcast media. So we’re missing something too.

  29. I have learned to try to look to see what phone has said I said which is often interesting and sometimes it seems to change it in mid air, I touch send and something else arrives.

    Hsl, they are all Hals.

  30. Ruth Anne, I was thinking about that too. We do now have wonderful resources for music. (My son once came in from school and said this was the only house he knew of that had classical music playing all the time! I’ve actually branched out some in recent years.) But back in the day (really back), families and friends got together and entertained each other. That’s why we have “chamber music.”

  31. Ruth Anne and Nancy Kirk, I’m glad you reminded me of this; it’s true, of course, and it is a pity that most people don’t do this at all any more. It is a sad loss.

  32. My father told me that his father was one of the first people in the area to own a radio. The radio was about half the size of a modern day refrigerator. I know that because it is presently sitting in my den.

    On Saturday nights when the weather permitted, folks (as many as 40 or 50) from miles around would come to the house and gather on the large front porch and in the yard to listen to the broadcast of the Grand Ole Opry from Nashville on WSM. After the broadcast, people who had guitars and banjos would often have a jam session. Certainly not chamber music, and only “classical” by the loosest definition of the word, but I’m sure a good time was had by all.

  33. Good morning Villagers…

    Gal 😉

    Miss Charlotte, I don’t know about being a well put together person as there are times I am so fragile…that is why I take the long way home from work and listen to my music…I do love my music.

    GR 😉 my maternal grandparents had the same size radio. It didn’t work when I was growing up, but I knew it turned out tunes from the Grand Old Opry….Grandpa made and sold moonshine and there were Saturday night card parties in my mom’s youth.

    Ian called yesterday….Andrew answered and talked with him for a while, I wanted to turn the packer back on and Andrew said that this call was more important (I didn’t know who it was)……they talked, then he handed me the phone…I almost cried, it had been two weeks since I had heard from him. Andrew then took the phone from me and told Ian to call me at least once a week. And if he could (Andrew’s mother passed away a couple of years ago at the age of 62)…and if he could he would be calling his mother….Ian has a new job, the other folded, he starts Monday helping with the construction of remodeling a new restaurant….He said he needed to call his old boss because he still owes him a paycheck.

    May the Lord’s day be blessed on all…..

  34. Debbe 😉 My granddaddy didn’t make whisky but was a carpenter who built, among other things, barns, back in the day when that was still a growth industry.

    Glad you heard from Ian. I know that’s something that’s important to most moms, which is why I always tried to stay in touch with mine as much as possible. Of course, I’m in touch with her several times a day now, bless her heart.

  35. Regarding the strip of 11-14-15, in which Janis discusses “Vince”:

    Our Humble Author was running some “Vince” retro strips last year in the latter part of November. Given the ambiguous nature of Janis’ reply about Vince in the 11-14-15 strip, I shall quote my post from a year ago regarding ol’ Vince”:

    Evan on 22 Nov 2014 at 8:21 am #

    “…for the rest of the week will offer what I call ‘The Best of Vince.’” (says Our Humble Author.)

    Saturday is the last day of the week, and the cartoon has remained the same. Very short “best of” resume there, Vince. 😉

    Just kidding, JJ. 🙂




    The dénouement that I recall (the apogee of my distress over the Vince subplot) was Janis sitting on the famed family sofa alone. In the next panel, a thought balloon appears. “I wonder what Vince is doing?” she thinks.

    It was only the second panel, and I pretty well fell into the Slough of Despond. We were on the Expressway to a “Very Special Episode of Arlo and Janis” and all that would entail.

    But there were 3 more developments.

    In the next panel, a look of unmitigated horror comes over Janis’ face. And in the final panel, she is with Arlo and Gene, and all are laughing.

    What was the 3rd development? VINCE NEVER APPEARED AGAIN.

    My gratitude for how this turned out has been expressed before, and I reiterate it here. JJ did not “go there” as a number of other strips have. Instead, my existence is festooned with strips cut from the paper and I own several copies of “Beaucoup Arlo and Janis.”

    The road not taken, indeed, has made all the difference. Thank you, Brother Jimmy.

    (I note for the record that I had a lot more white space between lines of my Spoiler Alert above, so that the Wandering Eye would not catch a glimpse of something anyway, but the commentary software for the site efficiently compressed my comment and did away with the buffers. Still and all, I hope nobody drove through the roadblock that later wished they had not…)

  36. Mark in TTown, is your radio too old to have both AM and FM? I picked up an FM transmitter that plugs into the earphone jack of iDevices and smart phones (about US$4.00 with free shipping on Ebay). You can select the frequency to transmit on, adjust the radio to that FM frequency and Bob’s your uncle. It last about 4 hours on a single charge and can be plugged into a micro USB to recharge (even while it is running).

    My wife setup the play lists for our trip this weekend and we had music all the way.

  37. Gary, I had picked up a similar device that plugs into the car outlet for power. But I could not get a single signal from it on my car stereo. As I said, the display that tells you what frequency you are on does not even show, making it impossible to tell even whether I was on AM or FM. Oh well, the car and radio are 2000 models, so after 15 years I guess it’s time to go to a newer unit. Thanks for the suggestion, though. I’ll just keep playing my CD’s till I get something else.

  38. Debbe, you mentioned “blowing out” the coop before getting in the new layers. Many decades ago when I was a teenager, I had a part time job cleaning chicken barns with high pressure water equipment. We would clean the fans, walls, floors, cages and the poop gutters. And then disinfect the entire place. These places smelled strongly of ammonia when we started but we either got used to it or it was washed out of the air in the first 1/2 hour.

    We worked 12 hour shifts but it was good money at the time.

  39. Don’t know if I mentioned my maiden name, Hodgson, as in singer you postrd. It is a common name in England, the famous author being best known but lots of athletes, rugby players. Wife of Babe Ruth I think was a distant cousin.

    Any way, I am descended from a Quaker orphan and my relatives lived in a town called Harmony where some still do. There are at least eight generations still buried in a rural cemetery and a road called Hodgson road. Of course by then they had been expelled from Quakers and we’re Methodists.

    As long as we are remembering grandparents and moonshiners………love.

  40. AdBlockerPlus stopped working on YouTube and gocomics this morning; the auto sign-in for A&J, Amazon and few other sites I visit regularly disappeared; and a few other oddities occurred. I began to wonder if my PC had suffered a TIA.

    Not being insensitive, Anonie; it really did remind me of my dad’s symptoms the time he had one. And although a reboot seemed to cure the PC’s problem, I wouldn’t necessary recommend that for you. 🙂

    As both of my major career tracks include dealing with records on many, many people, I can say pretty authoritatively that “Hodgson” is not too common a surname around here. Of course, using that criterion, all four of my grandparents’ surnames appear to be even rarer, so…

  41. Ghost, I loved your front porch story. Since my chamber music reference was really talking about music created in a home by and/or for the people who lived there, rather than any kind of genre, I believe the front porch in that case was a “chamber”!

  42. Thought I’d give you all the information Ghost in case you ever have to track me. Mine are from Harmony, NC It wasn’t common in Louisiana either.

    Funny, I was thinking of you as I put this sweater on, “Ghost would say the see through holes are too small.”

    This is a note about music and beauty and what makes us happy to all the Village. Surround yourself with the things that bring you joy, whether it be people, objects or sounds and smells. Or animals.

    Earlier today I joked that my house was starting to look like an upmarket bed and breakfast but it did look like a woman lived here. What is wrong with that? I have surrounded myself with all the beauty I can gather and I am finally getting my house reclaimed as mine after years as a dumping ground. This is not me purging but rather restoration of my life.

    I think we owe that to ourselves as humans to live in all the joy and beauty we can muster, where ever we find it.

  43. The Louisiana grandmother who raised me had a pump organ in the big double hallway of the farm. We held prayer meetings, Bible study and held “singings” there regularly. We did not get paved roads until I was in 20s and many had limited transportation unless church had a way to gather them up. Church was poor wooden one room about 13 miles away, so we filled in.

    She did try mightily to provide a Southern Baptist upbringing to me but failed mightily. Love.

  44. Yep, a branch of the same family from that same orphaned child. Raised by Quakers and in the mountains they spread into Pennsylvania or the original Quakers were in Pennsylvania and some went back?

    I always wondered about the Hodgson Mill and sure enough, when I did the genealogy search it is a branch.

    To me one of the remarkable things was finding Graves of direct line generations in that little cemetary. There was another on the family farm across road that had Graves dating to early 1700s, limited Gene pools indeed.

    My Louisiana bunch did the same thing, came from Carolinas in 1805 and married each other for 200 years.

  45. I am of course owner of sweaters that have far thinner and wider weaves but I have not started wearing them Braless yet, Ghost. In fact, I usually layer them over other tops or under another.

    Although when the plumbers showed up and almost left while I threw on some clothes I debated answering door nekkid as we say in south. I couldn’t decide if it would run them off or keep them from leaving. So I threw on jeans and sweater and chased them to truck.

  46. Anonie, if you’d really wanted to bamboozle the plumbers, you’d have chased them to their truck *while* naked. 😉

    I just got back from a quick Wally World run to get something for my Mom. She was out of “dusting powder”. (Yes, some sweet little elderly ladies still use that après-bath. Or at least one of them I know does. Or perhaps some you not-so elderly ladies do, too. 🙂 )

    A big sign at the entrance proclaimed “40 Days Until Christmas”. (Sigh) When I was a child, we counted “Shopping” days until Christmas. Now, obviously, every day is a shopping day.

    Were I an eight-year-old, I’d probably be, at this very moment, relentlessly harassing my parental units to get me either the half-scale Darth Vader or Imperial Storm trooper figure ($89.95) I saw there. Actually, when I was eight, what I wanted more than anything in the world for Christmas was (sorry, World Peace) a pair of Hopalong Cassidy cap pistols with matching holsters, which was probably about three dollars in the Sears catalog. Of course, that’s likely $89.95 in 2015 dollars.

    p.s. I got the cap pistols. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

  47. Not a bad choice, sand, since it’s available in .40 S&W as well. 🙂

    Wow. If Carrie Underwood’s legs looked any nicer while she’s performing the Sunday Night Football theme song, I’d probably be caressing my TV screen right now.

    Wait, did I say that out loud?

  48. Ghost, cowboy toys and Davy Crockett were the rage until I hit about 10. Then it went to James Bond and Man from Uncle themes. One of my favorite toys was a mini-golf game by Hubley. The golfer was mounted on a rotating base in the center and you had a round knob to turn him and a wide lever to press to make him hit the ball. Had various obstacles and was pretty challenging to get the right amount of force to go into the hole.

  49. Anonymous, combining the image of the Big-Texas hair you with 3-inch red nails and the Vespa scooter. That would have been something to see, all right. But I’m guessing you got it much earlier than that since someone took it away.

  50. Yeah, sand, the VP9 is a good choice. TheVP40 is actually a bit large for concealed carry. The VP9 is smaller than the VP40 but is still larger than a G19 or G23. I’ll admit the HKs are prettier than the Glocks, though. 🙂

    Originally, James Bond was under-gunned because Ian Fleming didn’t really know much about firearms. A gun expert contacted him and made some suggestions, and 007 was soon packing a Walther PPK. As someone said recently, hopefully Walther at least sends the Fleming estate a nice fruit basket every year, as the company has sold a ton of the little pocket pistols because of the novels and the movies.

  51. Motorcycles, scooters and mopeds can all be problematic for their drivers, but more often than not due to either operator or to drivers of larger vehicles with their heads up and locked. I know of one case involving a new moped driver who attempted to make a left turn onto a five-lane street from a standing start; hit the curb on the *far* side of the street, throwing him off the moped; and took a header into a concrete-and-metal light standard. DOA.

    “…13 year old Lolita lying in the grass?”

  52. I believe that Howard Wolowitz, on The Big Bang Theory, when once disparaged for riding a tiny little scooter, claimed his Vespa was “the second largest one they make”.

  53. Uh-huh. Photographer was walking down street, I was reading book in yard.

    People used to take my photo spontaneously, some still do occasionally. Unposed.

    Heck, Ghost at least one of those female employees of yours must have a Facebook account. I am under my own name and a second one called Boat Widow, on lots of boating pages too.

    Still plowing through boxes and boxes of my mom’s stuff, as well as mine. I imagine I may find those photos from Cuba in 1960, they were professional photographer too.

  54. Think I was 12 when I got my Vespa. We lived in an American “camp”, a small American suburb encircled by barbed wire high fences and security guards, believe population was a couple thousand. None of us had driver’s licenses as long as we stayed inside the fences. The cool kids had Vespas, the even cooler kids had MG and other European cars and we drove around like a pack of crazies at a young age.

    Of course being from Louisiana and out in country with a non driving grandmother I got my first car at 14, a Mercury sedan with a ridiculously huge V-8 engine. Owned it for a year with a learner’s permit as I recall or an exemption.

    Really fast car, out ran a few police cars in it. Surprised I never got arrested.

  55. Good morning Villagers…..

    Auughhh….rain in the forecast for the next couple of days. Then temps will drop again.

    Gary, no longer do they pressure wash the cages….the one time they did, the cages started to rust. They don’t make cage wire like they use to. Now it’s wire brushes and blowers. And am I lucky, my Doctor says I’m not to go out into the hen house while they’re cleaning. That’s alright by me, I’ve enough to do in getting my packing room cleaned and disinfected. But I did volunteer to trim the wire in the bottom cages over the beams where the manure has rotted away the cage and they have holes in the bottom. Some are big enough for a hen to fall through.

    Teens were lazy yesterday, well one in particualar…Skittles. The other got in the pit and finished knocking manure off the beams….and yes he did wear a respirator. Came back in with manure up to his waist…..he washed up, and reappeared wearing a hazmat suit. “Debbe I’m naked” he said. I told him it didn’t look like it to me, as you’re wear that suit. But I’m naked underneath…..and to quote Ghost….I told him it did nothing to my fervent imagination. Huh, he said, what is fervent….I told him “look it up”

    Other than that, we had a belt break and an auger go out. I was the only one there when the auger came out. Andrew and Evan returned and we had it back in before I left at 4ish. I’ll lay you odds, it’s out this morning, unless they left the toggle switch in the off position.

    ….and it’s a MONDAY

    GR 😉 glad to hear you stay in touch with your mother every day….and how is she doing? My Dad returns today….we girls still don’t know what to do, I told Brenda yesterday that I believe Dad is ready to ‘go’…..when you start saying “I don’t care anymore” there is a subliminal message there.

    …and where’s my song!!!!!!!??????

  56. Snowed here [1/2″?] couple of days back, but all gone by evening except / N slopes. No records, but mild for 1st half Nov. A month from today is LVB’s birthday.

    Peace, emb

  57. We’re having a bright, sunny, not too cold day here for the first time in several weeks. Of course, now that I’ve said that the weather will change. 🙂

  58. Dear emb, couldn’t figure who the heck you were speaking of — finally said, it will be Dec. 16 — then I saw it right away. When the children were growing up, Chris had the whimsical notion of having a cake and singing “Happy Birthday, dear Ludwig … ” and we did, for quite a few years.

  59. And I like the little verse about weather; it’s new to me. Nice that your mother liked words and rhyming; passed this on to you, it seems.

  60. I just wrote headlines once upon a time, a paid occupation in college. Headlines are a succinct story told usually in one line. Our author artist in residence is exemplary practicioner, man of few words but they count.

    He came, he saw, he conquered. That would be a good headline.

    I cannot tell the one my college journalism prof used, it is off color but succinct.

    Love puns and word play.

  61. In the time I have been here I have never asked the Village for anything. Tonight I am asking for help restoring a village in Mexico from the effects of hurricane damage. A boating friend is trying to raise money to put tin roofs on about a dozen homes with no roofs at all now. No help is coming to these people that they don’t do themselves.

    Her name is Zee Hag on Facebook and she is a well known and respected woman cruiser on her boat Solitary Bird. Her cat Bubbadaboatcat has his own Facebook page. He is crew. That might be Kat with a K, not Cat with a C. They travel alone, she is European and loves her village in Mexico.

    I will send Zee the money to roof a house through PayPal as a gift. As we go into Thanksgiving we should all acknowledge we have so much when a lot of both America and other nations have so little.

    Like a roof over their heads or food to eat.

  62. Although I am not a member of VisageVolume, there is an available searchable site for names. “Zee Hag” draws a blank.

    Seems as though someone who can afford her own boat could easily pay for a dozen tin roofs without help.

  63. It’s a nickname for “sea hag”. She is a retired French nurse and the boat is her home. Few who own boats and cruise are wealthy, they simply live in a home that moves and floats. In fact, most who are live a boards live very simply with few possessions. On very limited incomes. Many work odd jobs to support themselves.

    It is a gypsy life, a tight knit community of kindred spirits who don’t fit well often on land and the boats give them an almost limitless horizon. Zee’s boat is called Solitary Bird.

    Forgive me for telling you all about her. With the condition of the world as it is, people like her give me faith in humanity. Enough so that I will buy two or three unknown Mexicans a tin roof through a French woman with limited English. Beats the heck out of 9CL.

  64. Debbe 😉 Sorry I didn’t get to your song last night, hon. There will be two tonight. By the way, has it ever occurred to you that everyone is naked under their clothes? I’m sure this will probably come as a shock to you and others here, but that occurs to me just about every time I see an attractive female. Some might consider me undressing women with my eyes a perversion. I prefer to think of it as “a hobby.”

    Prayers for your Dad. My mom continues to well under the circumstances, although she is not entirely without problems. She saw her pulmonologist this afternoon, who did a chest X-ray and found nothing of note.

    A number of famous (and pretty) ladies working out to this old classic. I know it’s a classic ’cause it was on the American Graffiti soundtrack. 🙂

  65. My wife and I delight in creating awkward moments for our children even as adults and this turkey moment reminds us of our oldest daughter’s wedding when we brought a 4-ft anthropomorphic stuffed turkey as our “plus one”. The turkey had already made numerous holiday road trips sandwiched between our two teenaged girls and to quote the MasterCard commercial, priceless perfectly describes the double take bridesmaid daughter made from the platform and the astonished giggle from the daughter bride on my arm as she saw “Tom” seated by her mother’s side.

  66. I believe that was CEP’s point. We have returned from my nephew’s wedding and we were happy that we could take my mother as she has hardly been out of the house since her brother’s funeral.

  67. Stephen, that’s a great story!

    Jackie, I’d like to chip in, but I haven’t gotten into PayPal. Maybe you can give me some info on Facebook that I can use.

  68. Debbe 😉 Felt like listening to something by The Boss. Also, this was on one of the cassette tapes (remember those?) I made to listen to on the player built into my Gold Wing’s dash back in the day, when I did things like riding three-quarters of the way across the state on the spur of the moment (and back), just to eat ‘que at one of my favorite BBQ joints. Perhaps those were my Glory Days.

  69. I forgot to mention that there were two coyotes in my mother’s yard when I drove up Saturday night. They were the first ones that I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately I had nothing to tag them with, but I got clothes out of the car with one hand while I carried a tire tool in the other.

  70. emb
    If you want to tease a Racoon put a sugar cube next to a pan of water.

    I had the glow in the dark Hoppy belt – for some reason I thought it tasted good
    and chewed it so there were all kinds of tooth marks on it.
    Also had the Topper & Hopalong action figure.

    You also know of “A good time was had by all”?
    (usually the last line in the social news in small town news papers)
    It became a running joke at our house.

    Rain here for next few days. – did get snow fence up though.

    We are all neked under our clothes. Ghost beat me to it.
    (I write then read more)

  71. “They” would not let me do it in one go – second half==

    Author Tom Holt is a master of this:
    A paraprosdokian (/pær?pr?s?do?ki?n/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.[1] Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.

    “If I could just say a few words… I’d be a better public speaker.” —Homer Simpson[10]

    “If I am reading this graph correctly—I’d be very surprised.” —Stephen Colbert[11]

    “On his feet he wore…blisters.” —Aristotle[12]

    “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” —Groucho Marx[13]

    “I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.” —Bill Hicks[8]

    “On the other hand, you have different fingers.” —Steven Wright[16]

    I’ll be going now.

  72. Good morning Villagers……

    And you are so right Mark….I shuddered to even think what was under that hazmat suit. Then there’s Skittles, who likes to rub his chest with his shirt up, all the time grinning….I am dealing with perverted teens….I just look at them, shake my head, and tell them to get away from me and go do something….like jump in the pit 🙂

    The Corp sent the young man in yesterday to draw blood from a few hens. We spoke about the egg sucking hens and the egg on the belts and eggs coming in on the rod conveyor. He said this is the worse he has seen. He had no answers, thought maybe it could be the ammonia in the pit (give me a break that pit has been there 20 years)…..then I pulled a snappy one on him…I said “do you think it may have something to do with the fact they did not molt them?” Possibly, he said. The Corp literally has run the life out of these hens with no rest in the past 16 months. They definitely are spent hens….and look it…haggard.

    eMb and Old Bear. love the limerick and the quotes…Stephen Colbert is pretty funny.

    We’re suppose to get 1 to 2 inches of rain today….according to

    Jerry, check out BCN’s website for a cute strip. Not the one on GoComics, her website.


    be blessed today……

  73. GR 😉 I do believe that was Ann Margaret in the green sweater, am I correct? And I don’t think the blond had on any panties either 🙂 ….so how many times did you watch that video? 🙂
    …and yes I own several cassettes. Since my 5 disk CD player does not work in my ‘Suzi’, I’ve dragged out my cassettes…

  74. GR….I had to edit the above comment twice before it was finally submitted, I had to eliminate “Glory Days’ and a couple of other details….something about URL not recognized….hmmmm!

  75. Debbe, thanks for the BCN reminders. That reminds me, why is coyote spelled so weird? And no, they were not carrying a box with ACME printed on the side.

  76. Debbe, if your truck has a cassette player, get one of those adapters that plugs into the headphone jack. Get yourself an Ipod (tip, you can use old Iphones as Ipods if the phone service has been disconnected). Copy your music to the Ipod, plug the adapter thingy into the headphone jack on the Ipod and put the cassette shaped thing into your truck stereo, and enjoy the music.

  77. Jean dear, nudity personally quite often leaves me very warm. 😉

    Debbe 😉 Yes, hon, I do believe that was AM in the green sweater and wearing the dancer’s tights/pantyhose/whatever, which were 95% opaque. I did the math…carefully…three times. As far as the blonde’s possible lack of panties is concerned…I didn’t notice. 😉

    I did enjoy seeing the scenes at the beginning of the video from “The Misfits”, the last movie for both Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable. As far as I’m concerned, she never looked lovelier.

  78. In a similar vein (or artery) is this video, also showing some famous faces…and derrières. Plus, the lovely Diana Rigg, showing 007 *her* license to kill.

    Sue Ane Langdon, the lady in the blue dress distracting Walter Matthau, was, in another movie, also the one wearing the pink pants and having car trouble. (That latter movie is one of my favorites, “The Rounders” with Glenn Ford and Henry Fonda.) I suppose she could have had a body double for the car scene, but she was very shapely and pneumatic, so I’d guess that was in fact her derrière.

  79. Debbe 😉 Tomorrow is a travel day, so in case I don’t get to it later, here is some more Old Gold for you.

    Also, in case any of you guys have yet to decide the answer to one of the great philosophical questions of our day (“Ginger or Mary Ann?”), perhaps the song’s video will help. BTW, I have solved the mystery of why the SS Minnow sank while on a three hour cruise, a three hour cruise…they all carried too many damn clothes with them.

  80. I have just jumped the shark. My official crazy cat lady leggings just arrivedc, along with two scarves covered in cats, two purses with rather. Modern art applique and embroidery cats and an adorable pair of flat ballet type shoes with cat ears, nose and face on toes.

    Bring on the tee shirts Jimmy. At least one of them has to have a cat.

    Anyone here besides Mindy and me voting for Freddy and the Bi-ped? That is Mike Rowe and his dog. Dog is running for president, Rowe for vp.

    The white lace crocheted lace shirt/jacket arrived and it exceeds Ghosts standards, as does the black and white lace tunic. Of course I may have to wear it somewhere inappropriate but it sure is pretty. I have flesh toned body stocking, just like I used to wear, so no nudity under the clothing. Love.

  81. Forgot to say I once again have gas and hot water. No more cold baths and showers. I am going to sit in the tub and take a Janis bubble bath complete with wine to celebrate, alone. And I don’t drink.

    After eleven days we are gas leak free and inspected but furnace has to be repaired. Naturally my heat and air people are swamped because it is turning cold this week at night.

    Wish I had a photo of Ashes who is lying with his head in a oriental antique bow, his body on a photo album and his butt and tail on my bed. He’s a big cat, moved in for weather.

  82. But remember, Anonie, you’ll still be naked under the flesh-toned body stocking and anything you’re wearing under the body stocking…if anything. 😉 Stay warm.

    Charlie Sheen…what can I say? Other than what I’ve said before…play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

  83. GR6, Maybe if we are all very quiet, he’ll go away for lack of attention. As one of the posts on Facebook had it, Stop making stupid people popular.

  84. That’s why I read “Feel Good Naked” and think I will go reread it some tonight. It isn’t about BEING nude, it is all about feeling good nude under the clothes. It must work, I do.

    The gas inspector didn’t want to leave, he kept looking for another leak. my new minion as chaperone helps. I love clothes but I haven’t felt this good in a couple of decades. Heck, I may go visit my high school reunion now, something I have never done.

  85. Yeah, Mark, I’d like to think his self-esteem would dry up, and he’d disappear from all the trashy TV shows and InterWebNet sites that make a fortune following asshats like him if intelligent people would just ignore his antics. But then there is the problem of all those unintelligent ones. 🙂

    “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” – H. L. Mencken

  86. Speaking of tee shirts, is there a consensus about what the definition of “toward the end of next week” might be?

    Also, if it is a cat tee shirt, the first time I wear it to the range for training, it will become a “Tactical Cat Tee Shirt. 🙂

  87. Ghost, as for “end of next week”, I think it is similar to the old computer joke from the ’80s about the next version of Fortran (“Fortran X”, where “X” was supposwd to be the year), where people said “X was not an integer number”… 🙂 I learned Fortran 77 in the mid-80s, and its next decendent seemed long in coming… 🙂

  88. GR6
    I never used paraprosdokian in a sentence so you a dime up on me.
    Never knew it was called that but I probably have the cost of a Latte for all the
    times I have uttered a paraprosdokian.

    “On the other hand — he wore a glove”

    “30 days has April June & Nov. all the rest have 31 (a little poetic license there)
    except Feb. which has – peanut butter.”

    “Mary, Mary quite contrary how does you garden grow”
    “With Silver Bells and Cockle Shells and – one stinking Petunia in the middle”

    “Jack & Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
    Jack fell down & broke his crown and Jill – collected the insurance.

    There is one about Miss Muffet I will pass.

  89. Dear Jackie, your new clothes are breathtaking! Splendid that you have heat and hot water now, must feel so good. Ashes the cat has to be very comfortable.

  90. Me driving a track would be catastrophic.

    So now I’m missing see-through clothes for lack of a Book of Faces account?

    And yes, Anonie, several of my all-female staff have accounts, but as you may imagine, they are all very curious about every little thing I do away from work, and they would want to know why I wanted them to look up something about you on FB, and they were never believe any explanation I could give them, and I would never hear the end of it.

    As I once mentioned, having an all-female staff is like having multiple wives, except not being able to sleep with them.

    Headed out early tomorrow morning, although the weather may be a bit problematic. Oh, well, I used to fly in worse, and without the option of pulling over to the side of the airway and waiting it out if it got too challenging.

  91. GR6, I envy you your all-female staff. When I worked as a security guard the post captain hired a mostly-female young staff while I was at another location. When I returned to my original post, I could not believe the back-stabbing, infighting, name-calling and general chaos that ensued. They were mostly all new to the job market and to doing contract security work and all wanted to be boss. Some could be counted on only to never show up on time, if at all. But they were young, attractive and my boss was having a ball just being there. A few months of dealing with that, and I requested a transfer, which is how I ended up in Nashville.

  92. Thought I jumped the shark with the cat woman clothes until today’s goofy box arrived with the black leather jscket. I do not remember buying guide that and it is European style
    With the two pairs of black leather skinny jeans and the two black sweaters with leather inserts, the jacket and boots I am biker grandmother ready for biker bar or a remake of the Wild One with senior citizen cast appropriate to who I run into on way to Sturgis every year.

    About Charlie Sheen, I quit paying any attention after Breakfast Club and Platoon so you know how long that has been. At least I think he was in those? I can’t see he has done anything worth notice or the obscene amounts of money he got for being obscene.

  93. Good morning Villagers….

    Yeah, I saw the headline on poor Charlie…..and Jackie, he was not in the movie “Breakfast Club”, but he was in ‘Platoon”, and I never watched his sitcom. Play with fire, and one gets burnt.

    Got the ball rolliing on Dad’s demise….he is taking all the cats to the vet, then I move in with some serious ‘bombing’…

    Thunder and lightening rolling in right now….lost electricity last night for about an hour.

    Mark, thank you for the thingy jingy idea…..we’ll see.

    GR 😉 be safe and happy trails

    Jerry, I could never understand the spelling of coyote and how it’s pronounced either.

    Would you just look at that radar screen……


    be blessed

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