I’ve noted the doubt creeping in about the much-discussed, often-promised A&J tee shirts. Expect a semi-big announcement toward the end of next week. And give me a break: who goes Christmas shopping before December, anyway?
Stuffing Nonsense IV
By Jimmy Johnson
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153 responses to “Stuffing Nonsense IV”
I just wrote headlines once upon a time, a paid occupation in college. Headlines are a succinct story told usually in one line. Our author artist in residence is exemplary practicioner, man of few words but they count.
He came, he saw, he conquered. That would be a good headline.
I cannot tell the one my college journalism prof used, it is off color but succinct.
Love puns and word play.
In the time I have been here I have never asked the Village for anything. Tonight I am asking for help restoring a village in Mexico from the effects of hurricane damage. A boating friend is trying to raise money to put tin roofs on about a dozen homes with no roofs at all now. No help is coming to these people that they don’t do themselves.
Her name is Zee Hag on Facebook and she is a well known and respected woman cruiser on her boat Solitary Bird. Her cat Bubbadaboatcat has his own Facebook page. He is crew. That might be Kat with a K, not Cat with a C. They travel alone, she is European and loves her village in Mexico.
I will send Zee the money to roof a house through PayPal as a gift. As we go into Thanksgiving we should all acknowledge we have so much when a lot of both America and other nations have so little.
Like a roof over their heads or food to eat.
Although I am not a member of VisageVolume, there is an available searchable site for names. “Zee Hag” draws a blank.
Seems as though someone who can afford her own boat could easily pay for a dozen tin roofs without help.
It’s a nickname for “sea hag”. She is a retired French nurse and the boat is her home. Few who own boats and cruise are wealthy, they simply live in a home that moves and floats. In fact, most who are live a boards live very simply with few possessions. On very limited incomes. Many work odd jobs to support themselves.
It is a gypsy life, a tight knit community of kindred spirits who don’t fit well often on land and the boats give them an almost limitless horizon. Zee’s boat is called Solitary Bird.
Forgive me for telling you all about her. With the condition of the world as it is, people like her give me faith in humanity. Enough so that I will buy two or three unknown Mexicans a tin roof through a French woman with limited English. Beats the heck out of 9CL.
Debbe 😉 Sorry I didn’t get to your song last night, hon. There will be two tonight. By the way, has it ever occurred to you that everyone is naked under their clothes? I’m sure this will probably come as a shock to you and others here, but that occurs to me just about every time I see an attractive female. Some might consider me undressing women with my eyes a perversion. I prefer to think of it as “a hobby.”
Prayers for your Dad. My mom continues to well under the circumstances, although she is not entirely without problems. She saw her pulmonologist this afternoon, who did a chest X-ray and found nothing of note.
A number of famous (and pretty) ladies working out to this old classic. I know it’s a classic ’cause it was on the American Graffiti soundtrack. 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQgftmOeK_c
My wife and I delight in creating awkward moments for our children even as adults and this turkey moment reminds us of our oldest daughter’s wedding when we brought a 4-ft anthropomorphic stuffed turkey as our “plus one”. The turkey had already made numerous holiday road trips sandwiched between our two teenaged girls and to quote the MasterCard commercial, priceless perfectly describes the double take bridesmaid daughter made from the platform and the astonished giggle from the daughter bride on my arm as she saw “Tom” seated by her mother’s side.
I believe that was CEP’s point. We have returned from my nephew’s wedding and we were happy that we could take my mother as she has hardly been out of the house since her brother’s funeral.
Stephen, that’s a great story!
Jackie, I’d like to chip in, but I haven’t gotten into PayPal. Maybe you can give me some info on Facebook that I can use.
Debbe 😉 Felt like listening to something by The Boss. Also, this was on one of the cassette tapes (remember those?) I made to listen to on the player built into my Gold Wing’s dash back in the day, when I did things like riding three-quarters of the way across the state on the spur of the moment (and back), just to eat ‘que at one of my favorite BBQ joints. Perhaps those were my Glory Days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vQpW9XRiyM
I forgot to mention that there were two coyotes in my mother’s yard when I drove up Saturday night. They were the first ones that I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately I had nothing to tag them with, but I got clothes out of the car with one hand while I carried a tire tool in the other.
emb
If you want to tease a Racoon put a sugar cube next to a pan of water.
GR6
I had the glow in the dark Hoppy belt – for some reason I thought it tasted good
and chewed it so there were all kinds of tooth marks on it.
Also had the Topper & Hopalong action figure.
You also know of “A good time was had by all”?
(usually the last line in the social news in small town news papers)
It became a running joke at our house.
Rain here for next few days. – did get snow fence up though.
Debbe
We are all neked under our clothes. Ghost beat me to it.
(I write then read more)
“They” would not let me do it in one go – second half==
Author Tom Holt is a master of this:
Paraprosdokian
A paraprosdokian (/pær?pr?s?do?ki?n/) is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.[1] Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.
“If I could just say a few words… I’d be a better public speaker.” —Homer Simpson[10]
“If I am reading this graph correctly—I’d be very surprised.” —Stephen Colbert[11]
“On his feet he wore…blisters.” —Aristotle[12]
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” —Groucho Marx[13]
“I sleep eight hours a day and at least ten at night.” —Bill Hicks[8]
“On the other hand, you have different fingers.” —Steven Wright[16]
I’ll be going now.
Old Bear, Ghost and Debbe, Thank God for clothes!
testing
Good morning Villagers……
And you are so right Mark….I shuddered to even think what was under that hazmat suit. Then there’s Skittles, who likes to rub his chest with his shirt up, all the time grinning….I am dealing with perverted teens….I just look at them, shake my head, and tell them to get away from me and go do something….like jump in the pit 🙂
The Corp sent the young man in yesterday to draw blood from a few hens. We spoke about the egg sucking hens and the egg on the belts and eggs coming in on the rod conveyor. He said this is the worse he has seen. He had no answers, thought maybe it could be the ammonia in the pit (give me a break that pit has been there 20 years)…..then I pulled a snappy one on him…I said “do you think it may have something to do with the fact they did not molt them?” Possibly, he said. The Corp literally has run the life out of these hens with no rest in the past 16 months. They definitely are spent hens….and look it…haggard.
eMb and Old Bear. love the limerick and the quotes…Stephen Colbert is pretty funny.
We’re suppose to get 1 to 2 inches of rain today….according to whether.com.
Jerry, check out BCN’s website for a cute strip. Not the one on GoComics, her website.
later…….
be blessed today……
GR 😉 I do believe that was Ann Margaret in the green sweater, am I correct? And I don’t think the blond had on any panties either 🙂 ….so how many times did you watch that video? 🙂
…and yes I own several cassettes. Since my 5 disk CD player does not work in my ‘Suzi’, I’ve dragged out my cassettes…
GR….I had to edit the above comment twice before it was finally submitted, I had to eliminate “Glory Days’ and a couple of other details….something about URL not recognized….hmmmm!
GR 😉 I do wish I had this album on cassette…….particularly this song, haunting…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJrOcliBDs4
Got two old boom boxes….one, the CD players doesn’t work, maybe the other I can copy the CD MAGIC onto a cassette….hmmmmm, will try tonight.
Care and feeding of knives, love it. Appears you have been peeling in windows again.. 😉
Peeking not peeling, spell check doesn’t know peeking. Having to teach her so much.
As we have noted, Sand, there is just something about a peek…
Debbe, thanks for the BCN reminders. That reminds me, why is coyote spelled so weird? And no, they were not carrying a box with ACME printed on the side.
Bear, if I had a dime for every time I’ve used “paraprosdokian” in a sentence…I’d have ten cents.
Debbe, if your truck has a cassette player, get one of those adapters that plugs into the headphone jack. Get yourself an Ipod (tip, you can use old Iphones as Ipods if the phone service has been disconnected). Copy your music to the Ipod, plug the adapter thingy into the headphone jack on the Ipod and put the cassette shaped thing into your truck stereo, and enjoy the music.
http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=tape+to+ipod+car+adapter&tag=googhydr-20&index=aps&hvadid=12968043955&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=7174923424636087715&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_2x8xlvgd3c_b