Thank You, Animal Planet

Obviously, summer hours have gone into effect here. However, the door is open, and the lights are one. Help yourself to whatever’s in the fridge. You long-time visitors take care of the newcomers. By the way, today’s classic strip is from way back in 1993 and probably was born from the frustrations of being a humorist, especially an oblique one.

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

240 responses to “Thank You, Animal Planet”

  1. Seriously people! The Village had gotten so damn serious I have attended funerals that were far more fun.

    Seriously, that is totally true my Best friend in neighborhood,’s eulogy. “Don’t cry for Norma here, the nuts already gone, this is just the shell in the coffin.”

  2. It’s covered wagons, all the way down.

    Part of the fun, for me, in Debbe’s well told joke is the absurd. Put absurdity in and you’re half way there. Like a ball player named Idontknow [Third Base!], it’s the out of place that’s funny. You gotta be sleeping pretty sound to not roll out of the way for a noisy wagon doing its best at 4mph. [did the math]

    Closing scene of, again, A Fish Called Wanda involved a steamroller. Recently, Deadpool did it with a Zamboni. But those outcomes were played for macabre. Debbe’s was much lighter.

  3. Thank you for leaving the door open, Jimmy! (By the way, did anyone else think “Only 1993…wait..that’s 24 years ago…”)

    Jackie, first we serioused, then we sillied!

  4. Ghost misses the old Village where levity and fun and music prevailed.

    He is being held captive as a farm worker by two Okie women who refuse to let him return to his home in Mississippi.

  5. Levity? What is this levity that thou speakest of? Or where is this levity thou speakest of? I do believe that the last covered wagon pulled by mules went down the Oregon trail in 2009.

  6. Wow.

    Take just one day off from the computer, and everything changes. New oldie, new posts.

    I didn’t have the chance yesterday to tell Jimmy that the nose mask was one of his best strips ever.

  7. Dickens had to have surgery with anesthesia yesterday. We could not feed him for over 24 hours. He was so scared and so pathetic, especially because Ghost and I have had to take him in so much. He had these huge puppy eyes looking at you.

    Today we took him to Tulsa with us and took him to lunch out on patio at P.F. Chang’s where he got to eat majority of the order of honey chicken. I will post photo of Ghost and he eating Chinese food. If I can link it.

  8. Can’t figure out how to share it.

    Remember on Mash when Father Mulcahey would exclaim “Jocularity!! Jocularity!!”

    Always liked that expression and the dead pan way he delivered it.

  9. More music. Raol Malo is my favorite right now, lead singer for the Maverick. Ghost likes him as well. Trying to figure out how to make one of their concerts. They appeared here last month in a music festival but my knee wasn’t recovered enough to handle an outdoor festival on uneven rough grounds.

  10. Jackie and Mark, thanks for sharing Dickens and Ghost. I would just like to pick Dickens up and cuddle him. Ghost is turning into the neighbor on “Home Improvement.” 😉

  11. Dickens is indeed the most lovable dog. Ghost calls him a “poofy dog” and says it is good thing he is so utterly adorable.

    Dickens believes one of his responsibilities is to lick any hurting parts of those he cares for. He just kept into licking my replaced knee when I woke up. He has wanted to since surgery.

    Ghost says he is beginning to worry about his left arm. Dickens licked it for at least 15 minutes last night and then started on it when alarm went off just now.

  12. Wow, I just realized that it has been a while since I actually said anything here, though I have been in and out of the Village sort of regularly. So, here’s the thing…

    About a month ago Husband had a really bad kidney stone, to the point that I had to take him to the emergency room. He got pain meds, xrays, a CAT scan, and the diagnosis that it wasn’t moving on its’ own. The next week he went in for surgical removal, just a bit of outpatient work. A few days later he got the news that the CAT scan showed two tumors on his left kidney, one certainly cancer. He opted for removal of the kidney rather than chemo, so two weeks ago that happened. He was in the hospital for three days total, then home on light duty for a week, and now is up and around and checking on his bee hives. He plans on going back to work next week.

    And on another front, our daughter has gone a few days past her doctors estimated due date, and we are all waiting for the baby to decide it wants to be born. The doctor says it’s a girl, but I still have a reservation or two about that. I keep reminding Daughter that my grandmother, a very wise woman, told me that as smart as the doctor might be, that baby will be born when it gets ready, not when the doctor says.

    So that’s what has been keeping me occupied lately. I have wandered through and read the broadsides posted in the Village Square, and wandered on. I still need to sign up for the gym and work on my knee. I’ve just been too tired to do it. Maybe today!

  13. WOw, Jean! Hugs and prayers for all of your family. Good to hear from you, tho;. Hang in there.

    And when that baby gets here, give it a little squeeze for me? A new person to enjoy- yay!

  14. Good morning Villagers…..

    Jean, hope it’s today…the delivery that is. Yes, you have been busy. So happy all turned out well with your husband….we may grumble about them, but we still need them around (still trying to figure that one out 🙂 )!

    Smigz…I thought the same thing about GR’s ‘plate’ face….the neighbor from ‘Home Improvement’!

    Sister who just had the sinus surgery came by last night and we walked around the yard…when she’s feeling better we’re going to get ready for some fall planting. My ‘mater plants are doing well, have a wire cage around the two…looks crowded, but if I can even get just a few home grown ‘maters out of them, I’ll be happy

    Let the ‘fixed’ male kitteh back outside yesterday morning…such a sweet mother and son reunion. Can’t trap anymore until after the 4th, surgeries are only done on Tuesdays. Taking in the momma cat and Big Daddy next…I can catch them easily. Going to put on flea med today on them both. Paid $45 for three tubes of that Advantage Multi…and they are small tubes, must be potent stuff.

    Slept until 7:30….highly unusual for me, must have been tired…..


  15. About 2 years ago now the wife had her thyroid imaged and biopsied and was told she had numerous nodules that were precancerous and was given the option of having them tested regularly or removing the thyroid. No doubt, no hesitation, she opted to get rid of it.

    In the big scheme of things, you can afford to lose certain body parts today and get along fine with supplemental medicines. And you can also do very well with certain bionics regulating your heart, perhaps even controlling or assisting it.

    Hurrah for modern medicine… and the people who dedicate their lives to keeping us ticking longer!

  16. Yes, Ghost is doing a Wilson. We worked that out. I had quit my Facebook postings pretty much when we began traveling and didn’t want to show him or identify him. He came up with how to work around that.

    He is often in photos now, just a glimpse like a ghost or behind something like Wilson. He is actually a lot like Wilson.

  17. Items gleaned from TriviaFirst #26, which comes via email. Didn’t know about persimmons, or Interstate emergency landing strips. Other things also, but those are of biol. and political significance. There’s a habitat group in the AMNH with a ‘possum in a ‘simmon tree [dialect courtesy of Mom], who probably never saw the exhibit.

    Persimmon is Japan’s national fruit and it originated there. They are not native to America; Commodore Perry sent seeds from Japan in 1856 and American persimmons started in CA and moved across the south. Opossums are fond of persimmons. Persimmons grow on trees that resemble plum trees and are flat like tomatoes with a layer of leaves around the stem, called a calyx. Not all persimmons are sweet enough to eat, and the less colorful varieties should only be eaten when very ripe. Most persimmons grown in the United States are not interesting to eat. A recent study suggests that persimmons can kill breast cancer cells while leaving normal cells alone, and scientists are trying to figure out how to make use of this information.

    Geographical trivia: 1. Over half of the coastline of the entire United States is in AK. 2. The
    flow of the Amazon River in S. A. is 3x the volume of all the rivers in the USA. 3. Canada has more lakes than all of the rest of the world combined. OH, however, has no natural lakes except Lake Ontario at its northern border; the ones in the interior of the state are all man-made. 4. After Warsaw, Chicago has the second largest Polish population in the world. There are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin, Ireland; more Italians in New York City than in Rome, Italy; and more Jews in New York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel. 5. Under international law, the smallest sovereign entity in the world is actually the Sovereign Military Order of Malta, located in the City of Rome, Italy. It is the size of two tennis courts, smaller than the Vatican, and has 80 residents where the Vatican has 100. 6. The driest place in the world is actually an area near Ross Island in Antarctica, which has not had any rainfall in two million years.

    President Eisenhower ordered that one mile out of every five miles of highway in the interstate system be straight, so that it could be used as a landing strip in an emergency.


  18. Jean dear, good report about your husband, albeit arising from a bad situation. Next good report I want to hear from you is that you are up off your tush and working that knee. I have no doubt the PT has done wonders for Jackie and her knee. She is doing so well her surgeon has agreed to do the right one a full month earlier than usual; it’s scheduled for early October.

  19. Help! I’m being held as a Gardening Assistant in eastern Oklahoma. (I should have guessed what was up when Jackie seemed to know every garden center employee in every area WallyWorld and Sounds-Like-Woes by name.) On the bright side, I have learned Jackie’s highly technical method for planting flowers…dig hole in ground; fling plant into hole; push dirt back into hole.

    Speaking of gardening centers, we were checking out of one the other day behind an attractive blonde lady of about retirement age and her male companion. (Red tank top with…YES!…pokies on display. The woman, not the man.) As the man handed a jumbo pack of D cell batteries to the young male cashier, he remarked casually, “She has a (personal relaxation device)* so powerful it uses a lot of these big batteries.” Had she killed him on the spot, I would have had to testify at her trial on her behalf. Hanging (and gardening) with Jackie is never dull.

    *Not the word he used

  20. Lot’s of giggles and good news today. Doggy licks can be soothing, to a point. If they become bothersome you can always move the peanut butter jar further from the liniment jar.

  21. In case someone shoots at us he can deflect bullets with the heavy restaurant grade China?

    Clint aka Ghost is always armed but does not want to ever have to ever use. He just goes prepared.

  22. Some times I know the customers too. The cashier is named Alaska, where he’s from, and he and his family have been breeding wolves and malamutes forever, since his grandfather. They oppose killing wolves or dogs.

    The customers breed a rare small dog breed, adorable, and rescue animals of all kinds, including llamas, donkeys, goats, geese, ducks, etc.

    Yes, Ghost is right, I have friends in garden centers, hardware stores, veterinarians and places I go to.

  23. Truth or dare, Ghost is first armed man I have ever slept with. He does disarm himself but he excells at disarming his partners and women in general.

    He is charming Southern gentleman with impeccable manners.

  24. At first, I thought it was loving and adorable that Dickens likes to lick me. Then I began to wonder if he might be preparing for the day TSHTF. With no one able to feed him, he might be tasting me to see if my carcass would be good to eat.

  25. It was very inappropriate and Facebook may have removed! It was a weather related pun on words, a joke, not politically correct. I should have copied!

  26. Between appointments in Tulsa this afternoon, we went to…wait for it, wait for it…the Goodwill store to find some more short skirts, shorts, and skimpy tops for Terrie the Slightly Tawdry Housekeeper. Some of them were semi-inappropriate. The rest were totally inappropriate.

    Jackie is known by all the area Goodwill employees, just as she is by the area garden centers’ employees. I told her that was a good thing, as otherwise we’d have been pegged as a Madam and her Muscle, buying work clothes for a string of hookers we were running.

  27. The photo with Ghost and his upper plate looks suspiciously like my brother –
    but he is in Brazil right now. Including what my father said was the horns starting to poke
    through the forehead.

    Trapper – prayers for you and yours.
    Usually when the baby goes past the due date it is to put the “stem winder” on.
    Is this the first? The old folk lore is the first can come at any time all the others take 9 mo.

  28. Have been trying to catch up, still behind, but finally have the caboose in sight.

    First, my heartfelt condolences to Miss Charlotte and family. What a tragedy.

    Second, glad to see the humor has returned to the Village: a welcome oasis in a chaotic world.

    Third, yay Smithfield shoutouts! Work is still going well. Ghost and his talk of sundresses, and here I am walking out the door in two pairs of socks, jeans, long sleeved t, short sleeved t, and bandana over the ears. (The sweatshirt and jacket currently live in my locker.) And yes, I wear it all. The auger across the aisle from me causes snow. It is a mite chilly. That said, I recently purchased a pair of sundresses to go with the other two I also don’t wear. (I have yet to make a run to purchase the proper strapless undergarment to wear beneath. On the to do list.)

    My old job finally closed my old store (plus another that had gone downhill dramatically – first store I worked at, and it was the cleanest in town, once upon a time.) The neighborhood “peace” watch finally got their wish. Unfortunately for them, the new owners have even fewer scruples than my old company – the new store actually will be guilty of all the things they wrongfully accused us of doing. Karma can be swift.
    This also means my guy got moved to a new location. He is not happy and is finally annoyed enough to make a serious effort to find a better job. While I am thrilled at the development, I’ve not made too much of a fuss about it – don’t want to come across with “I told you so” tone and rub salt in the wound. He got cheated out of a raise and a promotion with the closing. Fingers crossed he finds an employer who appreciates him.

    Thunder has a cold. Wasn’t going to give her her nightly treat of a splash of chocolate milk, but those big sad eyes of hers broke me. Yes, I know I am a sucker. Not sorry. ????

  29. Good morning Villagers…..

    Lots to do today….

    And it’s good to hear from Indy Mindy…missed you and your stories, but glad to read you’re doing well.

    Time for breakfast…a chocolate covered apricot 🙂

    gotta go…..

  30. and thank you Mark for that Pink Floyd link….love the comments too below the video. Someone said that it would be good to listen to before falling asleep….it wouldn’t work for me, I’d just get all wired up and have to play Echoes.

  31. Welcome back, Lady Mindy of Whydid. Also, thank you for your effort to expand the display of sundresses. I sincerely believe the world would be a better place with more sundresses in it. Not to mention much more interesting. And scenic.

  32. Debbe, you’re welcome. Echoes is my favorite piece by Pink Floyd, and I was glad to hear this as a variation on it. There is a huge box set with the older music on it, which I can’t afford. And there is a two CD-set with selections from the big set, which I bought. More than half of what is on the 2 CDs is music I never heard before. You can listen to both on Spotify.

  33. Laura from AR, that’s why you can’t pet a cat on autopilot, like you can a dog. If the cat feels your attention is drifting, Gotcha!

  34. It is street flooding and stormy here. We just hauled too wet dogs to vet for their baths. What a day to do that! Dickens is on my lap wet and I Smell like a wet dog now.

    Wearing my Marilyn tee shirt with her pouty red lips, suitable for wet tee shirt contest, very thin. Chinese laundry day.

  35. Yesterday, between appointments in Tulsa, we stopped at Mimi’s Café for lunch. We were next to a loud, but not really boisterous, party of six young people. It soon became obvious they were celebrating the birthday of one of the group.

    Jackie and I both recognized them as wait staff, and she asked our server if they were Mimi’s employees. She told us they all worked at The Cheesecake Factory. I found that ironic, as one of the females was tall and tanned, and blonde and busty; and she reminded me more than a little of “Penny” on The Big Bang Theory. Another had “Bernadette’s” bust line, but unfortunately “Amy’s” waist and hip measurements to go with it. And the birthday boy, rather than looking like Sheldon or Leonard, had long hair and a full beard, and more closely resembled this guy.

  36. That’s why we can’t find him in the Cascades’ forests! :facepalm: He’s been hanging out in Tulsa’s Cheesecake Factory all these years. Sasquatch’s gone prairie dog! Glad to see he still pulls some interest from the ladies wherever he goes.

    Wondered if the menu there has helped with his longevity, then realized he eats in better places. [Actually don’t know much about CF, just extending a worn out theme from pop culture.]

  37. Anyone with knowledge: I proof read a church’s monthly blurb, primarily for spacing, spelling and usage errors. Often I offer alternate wordings or clarifications without changing the writer’s meaning.
    To do this, I am sent a tentative edition which I open with Microsoft Word. Therein, I do my thing, save the changed draft, and then return the changed draft as an attachment to an email to the editor.
    All this works well, except for today. So far, I have gone through and made changes no fewer than four times! Why? Because, when returning the changed draft via email, I cannot find that which I want to attach! I can look in all possible places including, but not limited to, “recent places” and “recently changed” sites. Zilch. Where, oh, where has my changed draft gone?
    If it makes any difference, I used Mozilla Firefox to get to my Comcast email each time today while, in previous years, I have been using Internet Explorer to do so. I can’t see that as causing the magical disappearance, but my editor is not pleased…nor am I.

  38. Dear Mindy from Indy, thank you for your sympathy with our family’s sorrow. Tom’s parents and brother are having a very hard time with this, but they are doing all the right things. They are reaching out to friends and are seeking therapy and help with their grief.

    Mindy, I’m awfully glad to get an update on you, and Thunder, and your new job, and your former store. What you went through at that place! I will never forget the “local color” you provided us so richly. I have always enjoyed your writing style ever so much. Pulling the reader right into the story.

  39. cx-p, likely you have already done, but trying to be exhaustive: using not just shortcut lists from various areas that Windows tries to be so helpful with, but usually ends up confusing user as to just where their files actually are held; also utilize the search box in Windows Explorer, and, or the master search box positioned as part of the [START] menu. As I am less familiar with Win10, I hope this tip applies.

    But significant is the fact that you are doing the same thing you have done many times before; only this time get a different outcome. It is possible that Microsoft themselves are to blame. Late month update patches, to fix the patches from Second Tuesday earlier this month, have caused the indexing/search function of Outlook to break. At least until they choose to patch the patches’ patches. How far this affects the broader functions of Office365, or other word processor’s save to file function, I am not aware.

    Being fond of Free and Open Source Software, I have been using LibreOffice for some time. Not as polished as the Windows equivalent, sometimes aggravating. Its development and maintenance is out of reach from MS to break. No help here, but maybe an explanation. Hope you find your solution. [written on fly, not intended to be flawless]

  40. Fellow church copy-editor: Cannot help with your problem, but am delighted that we share this avocation. I actually drive to BUMC Th. mornings to copy edit the weekly bulletin, mo. newsletter, calendar, and whatever else they want, and mark up the office hymnals to indicate when we’ve used this or that hymn. Also feel it imperative to occasionally needle pastor Rob re ‘The Message’, which at best goes too far in trying to make scripture accessible to hoi polloi.

    Living alone, I admittedly go for the company, good folk that I enjoy, and to satisfy my pedagogical bent, both re structure and usage and re scripture. E.g., by changing the wording of Gen.2:4a, the NKJV misses the point of the second joke [= jabs at their Babylonian captors] of the Hebrew Bible. Also, have benefitted much from insights of ordained and lay colleagues at MNUMC’s Summer Theology Workshop, which Elaine and I started attending maybe 15 yr. ago.


  41. c x-p, do you use an antivirus package from another source? Or do you rely on Windows Defender for protection on your computer? No judgement involved, and this would not contribute to your problem above. I am curious about your preferred level of comfort, and if it may give less ‘hiccups’ along the way. Thanks.

  42. On subjects of lost things, anyone here know how to find my lost phone photo of me naked like Janis in jacuzzi bubbles that Ghost took and I accidently deletedo?

    Phone is Samsung android Galaxy Note 5. It was great photo, I loved it, he showed to me, I pushed what I thought sent it to Gallery and it totally vanished.

    We’d like to find it. For Facebook.

  43. If there’s a little icon on the screen that looks like a garbage can, tap on it and it should open up and show what’s in it. Your photo may be there.

  44. Jackie, I know even less about Android on a mobile. Still clinging to my slider phone since the flip gave out. I do think Samsung tries to be just as helpful as Apple on holding things [deleted remainder when found Mark had your back]

    But I’m sure it can be recreated, even improved. More than once. Enjoy!

  45. Gary, and any other neighbors to the north.

    HAPPY CANADA DAY! eh? To our, literally, closest allies and friends.

    1JUL1867 according to Wikipedia. Embarrassed that I would not have known otherwise. Adding Canadien holidays to my calendar.

  46. –It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,…

    Mr. Dickens’s, two cities both here on one page. Without even a channel between them.

  47. Jackie, my sincere apologies for missing the obvious set up. These things often occur to me long after the correct opportunity. For instance once, while enjoying a dinner while seated at the bar, as the bartender carried my rack of ribs past a statuesque woman I was good friends with, she yelled down the bar, “Nice Rack!” I simply replied, “Yeah, they’re pretty good here.” I swear it must have been half an hour before it dawned on me, “You too!” She liked it all the same, and did not say if it was intentional.

    Likewise, when you ask, “anyone here know how to find my lost phone photo of me naked …” (please engage humor) I should have replied, “Sure, I’ll send you a fresh copy now.” :rim shot:

    Too creepy?

  48. I use Adblock-plus [or what ever the formal name may be] and have done so for years. As that didn’t change since last month, it ought not be the cause of the change I’ve experienced.

  49. c x-p, I agree, and wrote as much. I didn’t make clear, the question was not related to your Word document. I’m still hoping some trusted Windows10 users can say if they prefer one of the antivirus applications that have to be installed, over the included Windows Defender. My opinion from reading, is that Win10 works best using its own. But I lack daily hands on experience myself.

    Hope you are able to work around your present difficulty. I believe it was caused by a recent update from Microsoft. They will fix it soon. But it is inconvenient.

    Sorry to others, if I’ve gone techy.

  50. Good morning, Village! Y’all please welcome Miss Vivian Irene Sargent to the world. She was born at 4am, and is beautiful! Mother and baby are fine. Daddy is a bit shaky. Grandparents still slightly in shock.

  51. New baby! Welcome, Vivian. Sometimes the world is a scary place but it is full of opportunity. Dream big, love lots, and make the most of it. Congratulations to all the family!

  52. Yay, Vivian. She now shares the day w/ Prof. Willy Strunk, ’20s Cornell U. prof most famous today as the original author of “The Elements of Style” [“Strunk & White”], later revisions coauthored by E.B. White, of New Yorker and Charlotte’s Web fame, page for page the most valuable book on my shelves. One of its injunctions is “Omit needless words,” another “Use the active voice.” Peace,

  53. Good morning Villagers….

    Welcome to the world Miss Vivian…and what a lovely name it is for a lovely baby girl. Does she have red hair. Jean?

    Going home for a family reunion on husband’s side. It’s a get together to honor the memory of Jason who was killed a year ago on his 39th birthday. Ian will be in charge, not staying the night as Dad was acting a little strange yesterday…he’s not drinking enough fluid and I worry about an UTI.

    Got to go…breakfast is waiting on me, a milk chocolate covered orange slice 🙂

    GR 😉

    Old Bear….B’hugs

  54. Ghost, how very … refreshing?

    I have the feeling that somewhere ‘backstage’ there is a confused assistant holding trousers, head spinning in circles, frantically, in a hot whisper, “he was right here a second ago!”

  55. Clothing for someone who believes xe or xhe should have the right to self-identify xis or xer gender, but still cannot make up xis or xer mind?

  56. If I wore that outfit, either here or back home, I’d be afraid I might get “kilt”.

    I saw my first example of “open carry” in OK in a big box store last week, an older gentleman with a handlebar mustache in starched jeans and Western shirt; cowboy boots and hat; and a Ruger Single Six in a crossdraw holster. Let’s just say he projected an image that was not Skirt Boy.

  57. Ghost, it never even occurred to me that the model was wearing a kilt; it simply looked like a short skirt. (Yes, I know that a kilt is a form of short skirt, but it doesn’t normally look like one. Maybe if he’d been wearing a sporran instead of carrying that bag.) What really got me, though, is the way the shirt tail was hanging out below, and the fact that the sleeves on the jacket were way too short. It’s bad enough that the designer thought this was a Good Idea, he/she couldn’t even get the details right. I can just imagine what Tim Gunn would have said if a contestant tried this on Project Runway, aside from, “Well, make it work.”

  58. curmudgeonly ex-professor:

    (I posted earlier today and just found out that it is awaiting moderation. I forgot about the two URLs rule. Here is the first part.)

    Adblock Plus is indeed a great program, and I, too, have used it for years. Fortunately, it has not caused any problems with my computers.

    Bill Blinn of recently recommended a tracking blocker called Ghostery.

  59. Sideburns:

    I prefer Chrome myself, although I do keep Firefox on my computer, too. I use Xmarks to sync my bookmarks, and I am then able to use Firefox as my sync to my work computer’s bookmarks. On the days that I can’t report to the office, I can still work a good deal.

    Thanks for the tip about Privacy Badger. I’ll look into it tomorrow.

  60. Debbe, the above mentioned items being discussed are browser extensions. They are designed with advertisement blocking, and, or privacy concerns in mind. They are useful, if those are areas you are concerned with.

    But they are not replacements for your Kaspersky Internet Security, or the Windows Defender package included in your system that it replaces. These are designed to protect the system from known hazards. And are continually developed against new exploits. They protect much more than your browsing experience.

    I hope you continue to have good service from your system.

  61. Mrs. Rick and I saw Baby Driver this afternoon. Not impressed. Mildly entertained but not impressed. I guess I’m just not as smart and enlightened as the critics.

    Oh, well. At least it was better than 47 Meters Down. If they could put that movie into a pill, hospitals could use it instead of morphine to knock people out.

  62. Y’all get all serious and techy again and I will write graphic descriptive prose about exactly what I am wearing right now and what I did while wearing it.

    Let your imaginations wander far.

  63. It was a good night. I had trouble sleeping so Ghost kept me company so I wouldn’t just lie there tossing and turning. He’s sweet like that.

  64. Ghost and I had a great date last night. I will let him comment but I swear he ended up at a table with nine women! You should have seen their eyes light up when we joined the table.

    We went to our local dinner theater which actually is quite well done, most tasteful. My favorite chef cooked the meal, turns out he does every other event. I miss him a lot so went backstage to hug him and thank him. He kept saying how great I looked and how unrecognizable.

    I told him if he’d stayed in restaurant business I’d never have lost the weight he helped put on me! Ghost and I licked our plates and Ghost ate his first tiramisu. Not mine, unfortunately.

    He cleans up beautifully, the best looking man there. Best dressed except performer who wore tux and did Sinatra concert. I had seen Sinatra at least six times and this man actually was better. Better voice and trained.

  65. Well, a good afternoon to all villagers…

    I’m glad someone had an enjoyable evening last night….left my house around 6ish just as the ‘family feud’ started over politics. Felt good to get in my Jeep, and leave and have somewhere to go to, also grabbed my CD’s…took the long way home to Dad’s. (there’s a song in there somewhere).

    Hmm…smell left over pizza warming up in the mini oven……..


  66. When I was a kid, we had a cat that fell in a pond of that gunk. It was the first time I ever saw a cat who wanted a bath. I was referring to the poor dog in the cheezburger.

  67. Yay Laura….last night I went to my home for my husband’s side family reunion. I had a very emotional reunion with my 13 year old white cat….I’m going to go and get her tomorrow. I’ve missed her very much. She always slept with me on my left side with one (or both) paws across my chest and her head rested on my left shoulder.

    Yup, gonna go get her, she’ll be better off here too as will Buddee, Ian’s black and white tom. He was bottle fed along with his three calico sisters. Marvin found them orphaned at a hog building he was working at….came home with a five gallon bucket with 4 teeeny, tiny kittehs whose eyes were even completely opened yet. His calico sisters all went to good homes too. He is a good lap cat.

  68. Supertramp, Breakfast in America, “Take the Long Way Home”. Nice one, Debbe. Logical Song was a tongue twister for me. And I never got the hang of kippers, but lox and a schmear makes a good bagel.

    But caution, Debbe. If you post a larger number of comments than I do, ‘A number’s bunny’ will lose an opportunity to grumble. We cannot steal A.n’s.b.’s singular raison d’être.

    Careful picking up raisins near rabbits; and yellow snow is not the same as lemon ice.

    Anyways, glad you met up with an old furfriend.

  69. Ghost discovers I know most Lowes managers in Eastern Oklahoma too. We just got the paint and floor tiles to repair the back apartment of the house. We left Ray painting closets and building doors for them.

    I have wallpaper bought long ago for those rooms I’d love to locate, along with lots of furniture to redecorate. Hooray! I can see the light at end of the tunnel.

    Ghost says my mantra is “I own, bought, have one of those somewhere!”

    We are unburying things and trying to put things in order. The past is past.

  70. For any interested in computers: my recent mystery as to where a saved document went has been solved. My son – a computer pro for 25 years fulltime plus more years parttime – told me that the machine was placing my document into a temporary folder rather than into something more permanent and accessible. As I wasn’t even aware that such a temporary thing even existed, I wouldn’t have thought of same. More profitably, he showed me how to recognize such and what steps to take to avoid it in the future.

    Why did this not happen for the past several years? Apparently, I was just lucky.

    My editor will be pleased & relieved….

  71. c x-p, glad it has worked out for you. Sorry my suggestion of the [Start] Menu search box did not help. I agree on the new development means a change occurred. More likely in the system than in your fingers.

  72. I was in traffic yesterday and the car ahead had one of those license”plate brackets with a slogan on it. This one said : Whip me, Tie me, Spur me, Ride me. Ever since I’ve been wondering if they were rodeo fans or just like to play rough!

  73. Mark, the license plate holder, either and or both? [hat tip Sterling Archer and friends, multiple variations]

    But you’ve reminded me of a phrase: Whip me, beat me, make me write bad checks!

    Have lost memory of original reference. But have a vivid memory of a friend who liked the joke. Can anyone help place the reference? I’m thinking early 1980’s movie, maybe as late as an early Madonna reference? (the singer from Michigan)

  74. I am currently reading “The Circle.”

    For those of you who both love and fear computer technology, I recommend it.

  75. TR 🙂 can’t beat these quotes, Mr. Zappa was great.

    “Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

    Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read.

    If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

  76. Debbe, waiting at long red light, then behind them till they turned off.

    Never developed a taste for Zappa’s music because I never really heard it till the last few years. When it came out on vinyl it had so many of those words you weren’t supposed to broadcast it never really had a chance on the radio.

  77. So last night Ghost showed me the latest craze for girls to wear to concerts and music festivals, glitter boobs. The ones he showed were rather small examples except for one that was rather saggy.

    So here are some nice perky ones and a YouTube tutorial in case anyone here wants to decorate for the holiday.

    Nudists body paint a lot but I have never done so. The elaborate jeweling is rather interesting.

  78. Excuse me, I don’t know. They have body paint events at my nudist club but I have never been to one. They are holding a black Light body paint dance this month but Ghost isn’t interested.

    He has seen copies of some of the club magazines! LOL

  79. I watched the jewel/glitter gal Jackie sent in. We each have our own preferences, of course, but, if the model were my wife, I would much prefer her in her natural state – no jewels, no glitter, and certainly, no tape.
    In a very few weeks, my MBH & I will have been married 55 years, and I’ve always been of the opinion that she need not try to gild the lily.

  80. Elaine once showed up at bedtime wearing something for me to take off: a necklace of those big round, variously colored plastic pop-together kids’ beads. Only that. Talk about arousal!

    I’ve mentioned before another nightwear, a Sears [Wards?] ‘dormitory shirt’ that unbuttoned down the front. It wore out.

    She never showed up as a Bunny, Playboy or other.


  81. (CNN) After 50 years, Disney plans to remove the “Wench Auction” section from its fan-favorite “Pirates of the Caribbean’” ride at its parks, a Disney spokeswoman told CNN on Friday.
    The scene, featuring animatronic characters, showed a line of women tied together under a sign that read, “Auction — Take a Wench for a Bride.”

    Yo ho ho, and it’s a politically correct pirate’s life for me. Removing evidence of something doesn’t mean it never happened. The next thing you know, they’ll be removing Confederate monuments so people can forget there were those who fought against the Union. And what’s next…eliminating the bachelor’s auctions much beloved by the funds-raising chairwomen of Junior Auxiliary clubs everywhere?*

    *In the interest of full disclosure, I was once auctioned off in one of those auctions and purchased by Millionaire Widow Lady, leading to eight years of sexual degradation. And by “sexual degradation” I mean “fun”, of course.

  82. And had I been there Ghost I would have outbid her to purchase you. Of course I was married at the time but that wouldn’t have been a problem, right? No real slavery or sex being sold, right?

  83. 179 comments and I step into EMB’s comment on what his better half wears, or was it wore? And Ghost’s comments on being PC. Interesting. And yes Ghost I think political correctness goes way too far, way too often. History, good, bad or evil will never be undone no matter how you try and rewrite the script. Yes a few things need to change for the future good, but rewriting history is an abomination and disservice to our young ‘uns.

  84. Wore, once only. We really know little or nothing about the Hereafter, if there is one. [If this sort of speculation makes you uncomfortable, I love you anyway; please just scroll down.] We don’t even know if it there is a Hereafter, or if it would be a good idea. Only Elohím knows. If it would be a good idea and is w/in God’s power, there likely is one. I doubt there is a separate Hell: eternal torment and all that. Since Elohím is the only transcendent creator, and is thus responsible for everything that is, both physical and transcendent, I think it diminishes God to believe there is a Hell. In the Hereafter, I expect we will all need to atone for one thing and another; for instance, I don’t love and forgive as much as I ought. But then I think we get to poke around and get acquainted with things no longer accessible to us here. I don’t know what Elaine has been up to since 28 Dec. ’10, but expect I will find it acceptable, and expect we’ll be able to dally again. I doubt the legendary clouds, thrones, haloes, wings, and nightshirts. I expect Elaine has spent some time w/ Jane Austen by now, and hope she’ll be willing to join me in learning more about the therapsid to mammal transition in Permo-Triassic times. Be nice if Gilbert & Sullivan have learned to get along. Also, I see no reason to believe that, “In Himmel, es gibt kein Bier.” Peace

  85. Jackie, to get images from FB to here, first click on the image, then right click and when you get the box, choose “copy image address”. Then paste that address here and you’re good.

  86. At least that’s how it works with a PC running Chrome. I have no idea about doing it from an Android phone/tablet. Maybe somebody else out there knows about that.

  87. Ghost says he has been too busy schlepping me from appointment to appointment and forced labor supervising the short shorts team to work on computers.

  88. There’s a convention covering several groups of folks coming up here in about 3 weeks and I plan to go. It’s called Tokyo in Tulsa and my interest is in the gaming end of it. I hope to make contact with some people I can start meeting with to play boardgames.

  89. For quite a few years here in Central Ohio, I’ve noticed that the population of lightning bugs (fireflies) has decreased considerably.

    Is that happening in your areas, too?

  90. Alabama still had plenty last year. I haven’t noticed any here in Tulsa, but then I haven’t been outdoors to sit since moving here.

  91. Various: I don’t get to see fireflies often in this ‘development.’ I have noticed a marked decrease in housefinches [do not confuse w/ house sparrows] last yr. & this, w/ no increase in their native eastern cousins, purple finches.

    “You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.”?Erma Bombeck [email from a friend]

    From the interwebnet:

    Comment: I happen to agree w/ Kaepernick, but note that he is not criticizing the song, but his country’s hypocrisy. As to the song, I handle that impossibly high note at the end by dropping an octave on ‘free’. Think ‘America the Beautiful’ would be a better anthem, ALL verses. Peace,

  92. Heard in a local market, the strangest thing I’ve heard this week…

    Large, heavily tattooed, middle age woman to large, heavily tattooed, young woman (likely her daughter): “Stay right here while I go ask, ah, ah, ah, what’s my husband’s name?”

    Not sure what she was smoking or ingesting, but as Slick, a friend of mine, used to say, “If just enough is good, too much must be better.”

  93. Jackie asked me about the prevalence of fireflies in my area of the Deep South. Oddly, I had not noticed any for perhaps twenty years, until a number of them appeared late last summer and into the early fall. Of course, we call them “lightin’ bugs” down there.

  94. Today was eye-candy day. Terrie the Leggy Housekeeper was wearing very short shorts when she showed up at the house this morning. Then Marie (aka Hot Legs), the Vietnamese waitress at the Vietnamese restaurant, was wearing even shorter ones, and with a see-through blouse and pushup bra, to boot. In between, at Jackie’s PT, the therapists were observing Red, White and Blue Day prior to Independence Day by wearing blue jeans and something else red and white. Her therapist* filled her stretch jeans out very nicely, as did her intern, a very cute and tiny, yet busty, young thing. (Personally, I think the winner was the therapist wearing a red mesh blouse with a white bra under it.)

    Hanging with Jackie is never dull.

    *Ashley is a gorgeous and extremely fit and shapely former college soccer player with near movie star good looks, even with minimal makeup. In fact, she looks very much like a young Reese Witherspoon.

  95. Here I am in bed, listening to fireworks explosions over Lake Eufaula, or at least probably in a two-mile or so radius, and wondering if anyone else finds their use as dumb and pointless as I do. I enjoy a good professional pyrotechnic show as much as most and probably more than some, but going out into the backyard and producing a hundred dollars’ worth of flash/bang, with the attendant mess and potential for starting fires (as in Jackie’s yard several times), just doesn’t seem to me to be a good use of the money.

    Not that I’d try to tell anyone how their money should be spent. That’s why we have Congress Critters.

    Gotta go now; Jackie is wanting me to look at something in one of her nudist magazines.

  96. While waiting for the comic to change , an event akin to dropping that ridiculous ball in New York at New Year’s, I made mistake of reading a comment from the Dark Side. Further compounded by reading some responses and more comments.

    They made no sense. I asked Ghost why TDS comments were so stupid and inane? He replied “Birds of a feather?” I said “What, a flock of crows?”

    Back to see if tomorrow has finally arrived.

  97. And what do we have against crows? Brightest birds around, brighter than lots of mammals. [Not only am I one, but also a life member of the Am. Assn. of Mammalogists, so cannot be accused of bias here (and shouldn’t be some other places)]. Think my next Bemidji Pioneer column [Th. 12 Jul.] may be about a successful clutch of crows in a nearby spruce, unless that was in June.

    ‘… wondering if anyone else finds their use as dumb and pointless as I do.’ Yeah, me too. I’ve even seen all the pyrotechnic displays I need to. Last was decades ago, with a beer and a wife, w/ fireworks reflections in L. Bemidji. Maybe not the last, but the best. ‘… it is patriotism.”?Erma Bombeck.’ Have no idea where that ? came from, but, obviously, I did it. Sorry.

  98. Good morning Villagers…..and a happy 4th of July to all.

    I too am not a big fan of fireworks….several neighbors around here spent several dollars on the “big” boomers. One was so loud and of course it was just across the street here. You know, one would never know if it was a gun that went off instead of fireworks.

    Plan on keeping it simple here, will take Dad for a little cruise before it gets too hot. Had to get him to doctor early yesterday for blood work….before breakfast.

    gotta go, Dad is stirring…

  99. oh, and I’ve notices here a decline in ‘lightening’ bugs…I remember putting them in jars when were very young…we’d put a little grass in the jar and just watch them light up…would let them go before we went in for the night…isn’t it funny what can trigger a childhood memory.

    Dad decided to go back to bed for a while….that’s good. I’m going to tell him if he wants to go cruising, he’ll need to do his exercises first. He’s only going to get in one session of PT this week.

    I’m anxious to see the results of his blood sugar since I’ve cut out the chocolate milk, we get those at appt. on Thursday. Made him some cinnamon rolls last night, sister had stopped by as I was just putting the icing on them…she ‘stole the one in the middle….and gobbled it down. She deserved it with all she’s been through these past two weeks. Nasal surgery, the packing, the packing coming out yesterday…still sounds a little nasally, but it’s good to see her rebound as good as she has.

    need to check out the rest of my comics….

  100. Everyone’s responses about lightning bugs reminded me of an article that I read about fourteen years ago in I remember now that it was the first time that I had read anything about vanishing fireflies.

    In addition to chemical pollution and pesticides, the article proposes that the increasing amount of artificial light might be a factor in their decline.

    By the way, as I was searching for the article, I entered “disappearing fireflies” into a search engine and found a wealth of sites.

    Because this blog has a limit of one URL per post, I will put the URL for Failure Magazine’s article in the next post.

  101. I find that I cannot resist the temptation to post an item that will most likely put me on the radar of the FBI, NSA, CIA, and only God knows what else:

    Independence Day: The day that our country threw off the shackles of an oppressive and removed government that taxed them without mercy, passed onerous laws that capriciously deprived the people of their liberty and freedom, invaded their privacy without hesitation, expected them to believe that the king was anointed by God to be his representative on Earth and to rule over them, impressed men into military service, and many other abuses upon abuses.

    Perhaps the question many years ago became this: Do we now celebrate Independence Day or do we commemorate it?

  102. Rick if that sentiment could get you on several security lists, then add me to it. I sometimes wonder what happened to the U.S. that I served in the military for. Do we have leaders who believe in the Constitution, or even know what is in it? Yup seditious thoughts in today’s U.S., yet I will still celebrate the freedoms we still have left, and continue to vote for who I believe can do the job, not according to party lines. Now enuf polyticks lets celebrate this country together HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!

  103. Ghost and I are still in bed listening to neighbors shooting off fireworks they missed last night. I think it is rainy or at least dark. We have had a celebratory day so far. Lazy and no one wants to get up.

    Dickens head just popped up from the comforter piles when I looked for him.

  104. My goodness, we are still asleep! As Ghost says, goodness had nothing to do with it.

    Seems like someone said that before him?

  105. And not very imaginative either are they?

    Jimmy darling just in case you do read our comments, Ghost and I would like to say we enjoy living the virtual life of your strip. You can look in our windows any time you like.

    We love looking in yours.

  106. Here it is an hour later. I have gotten as far as the red white and blue Capri leggings and Ghost made it to shower. We are heading down to eat breakfast with Terrie at I Smell Bacon, the number one rated restaurant in town. That’s her day job, their best waitress.

    If I go top less you think anyone will notice if I glue some red and white daisies on?

    And wear my American flag ball cap with rhinestones?

  107. For those interested in sailing, the just-issued “Smithsonian” magazine has an extended article on the Mobile Bay disaster of not so long ago.

    Someday, ghost, you’ll have to post pictures of all these shorts-clad household helpers…with their permissions, of course.

  108. We do on Facebook, along with photos of me and Ghost. Ghost is becoming a minor celebrity. If he wanted to be I could make him more so but we are sort of shy and conservative.

  109. Well I got up early and ran/walked in a local inexpensive 3 Mile race. At first I was a little upset as there were no bib numbers and registration did not ask our age. In running, one looks forward to getting older as it puts us into a new age division.

    I did pretty well as just as I had at a Father’s Day race, I ran REAL slow and then walked. Each mile was faster than the previous one and at the finish we were given a Popsicle stick with our finishing place and then gave it to to the gal who put our times down on a sheet of paper. She asked for my name and age.

    So we adjourned to treats area and winners were announced. I ended up 2nd in the 60 & over division….of course there were only 2 of us! But I got a nice medal. In the 245 races that I have run, I have only received one other age group award.

    I have made a decision to go back on a post that I made in early April and I will go and try to complete my 20th marathon next spring. Since my son will not be running Boston, I might try to bring him with me so I would have a ride back home. I actually felt great the day after the race and I really enjoyed training for it.

  110. This month’s Reader’s Digest has a neat story about how different parts of the country say different things (soda vs pop vs cocacola; Y’all vs you all, etc.) One of them was lightning bugs vs fireflies. I have heard both but I am pretty sure that we said lightning bugs in Indiana. If I had a link to the story, I would write it here.

  111. Here’s a Happy Fourth post from Ghost and me. It has photos of me, Ghost and Terrie as well as American flags, bacon and cheeseburgers. Very patriotic. Ghost is most legally armed , something I find extremely reassuring, patriotic and appropriate on a day honoring our forefathers who rebelled and overthrew a monarchy they disagreed with.

    Neither Ghost nor I advocate rebellion but I do love having a qualified armed man at my side. Day and night.

  112. Jackie pulls out phone to make photos.

    Me: “Smile, Terrie.”

    Terrie: “I am smiling!”

    Me: “Then why do you look like you are in pain?”

  113. Steve, in the Deep South we say “cokes”. Of course, there are several varieties of cokes…Coca Cola cokes, Pepsi cokes, Dr Pepper cokes, Royal Crown cokes, etc.

  114. Ghost

    You have a hairline like my father – he said the horns were coming through.
    Talking to people that knew him as a kid said the horns were always there.

    Mom said “Men bald in front were thinkers, those bald in back were lovers, –
    when the front met the back they only think they are lovers.

    I like fireworks (though I would not spend much money on them) –
    Our founding fathers admonished us to celebrate fireworks and ringing bells.
    I hope your community let the bells ring out at 1pm. A tradition reinstated
    by Eric Sloane.

  115. And mildly offensive… but if we Mormons took umbrage at every slight, we’d never have time for anything else.

    As for the MoTabs, as we call them, their singing is superb… and perhaps you had a typo, Bear? Your other comments haven’t displayed any mean spiritedness in the past.

  116. I also listened to the Boston Pops performing Leroy Anderson our local NPR station. He’s one of my favorite composers; our local orchestra has played quite a few of them over the years.

  117. Today’s strip is a classic. We had the phone nook and occasionally would knock the phone and the phone book off when we went running through the house. It is also the spot that my brother Bill on the day of our Mom’s funeral stuffed his foot through the ceiling when he decided to go into the attic. I just turned to my wife, who had never met him until that day and said “Well that’s Bill”.

    My Grandma was a housewife, but had great artistic ability. She actually redesigned the farmhouse that she and my Grandpa lived it. She figured out a way to put a hole in the wall between the back hallway and the Living Room/Dining Room so that one could answer the phone from the front or the back of the house.

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