This comic strip from ten years ago this month is an excellent example of the subtlety for which A&J is known. Subtlety usually elicits one of three responses: “That’s cute;” “I like funny comic strips,” and, most often, “I don’t get it.” I suppose this particularly strip could have been made better if I’d added a thought balloon in the first panel, reading, “Boy, I really do like to relax and do nothing in the beautiful spring weather” and another in the second panel to the effect, “I sure do like to work hard in the yard and garden when spring finally comes!” I’m sorry. I’m not talking about you. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t get it. It’s just that I woke up in a snarky mood.
Feverish Plans
By Jimmy Johnson
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317 responses to “Feverish Plans”
You think this woman was stressed about her job interview?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11469400/Embarrassed-woman-reunited-with-her-car-after-local-newspaper-appeal.html
Did it say if she got the job? If she did, the company may be rethinking their decision to hire her. 🙂
If she were my caregiver, I’d be of two minds about it…one, she’s cute; but two, she might forget how to find me when it was time for her to feed and bathe me. 😉
Mark, my very deluxe van was stolen in Houston many years ago and I instantly knew and reported. The mall security insisted I had forgotten and spent over an hour forcing me to go up and down aisles while woman after woman came in reporting stolen cars and got same search treatment.
So, sometimes it isn’t goofy women.
Also, I might not engage a company that couldn’t come up with a better name than Homecare 4U. Sounds like a rap group.
Which is why a mall parking parking lot would be a great place to boost cars…it increases your get-away time.
They got over 20 that day in a matter of minutes. I was so angry but it did no good. Of course mine was stripped and dumped. They even took things I could not believe would be saleable.
That also highlights the “value” of “mall security” in general. Sorry if anyone here is a a mall cop, but it’s true.
Finally…a useful link among all those dumb ones typically embedded in web sites. (This one from Mark’s link about the cute car-loser.)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/virals/11469220/How-to-open-a-bottle-of-beer-with-a-piece-of-paper.html
Of course, the Brits would say American beer isn’t worth opening.
I have a friend who owns a nice used car lot. One day at noon, a construction worker from a nearby condo project rode one of the construction company’s four-wheelers over to the lot and told my friend he was interested in the BMW on the front row he’d been seeing for the past week. He left the four-wheeler when my friend gave him the keys to take a test ride…and never returned. My friend found the worker had walked off his job and taken the four-wheeler without authorization.
Fortunately, Atlanta PD found the BMW abandoned downtown about a week later, and not in too bad a condition. Except that the ignition had been punched, meaning someone had stolen it from the original thief.
Remember I sold Lincoln autos for a living for awhile, well I would point out. No one got off our lots easily and always with an escort.
Which in turn led to this link, which is posted without comment, other than that it may be NSFW, if you work in a church office.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/11464234/Wrong-side-of-the-tracks-model-railway-enthusiasts-line-up-to-buy-steamy-figurines.html
The caption “Ladies of the night display their wears” under the picture…I’m not sure if that is a pun, a misspelling or a Brit-spelling. But I’ll be civilised about it and not make a fuss.
cep, flexible chips for devices with flexible screens and cases; too much said.
Could be mall security was getting a cut of the action; not the first time security played on both sides.
Dear David in Austin, thank you for answering my questions. I had no idea your problems were so many and so complex! I am really sorry you have to deal with all this aggravation — well, much worse than just aggravation! This sure messes up your life. You seem to be handling it as cheerfully as possible. Falling off the scooter thing — darn it, what awful luck.
I will stop feeling sorry for myself. Please accept my best wishes that you will improve and recover and feel much better. I’m sure that everyone here will be praying for you.
Top Gear will apparently endorse anything
Speaking of Apartment 3-G, here’s proof that Janis isn’t the only cartoon babe who enjoys a bubble bath.
http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/13/2d/132dba8a1bca17a9600e2252ea17817c.JPG?itok=DNfYI8Gi
I have no idea what the story line was that day, but I’m sure this panel did a lot to advance it.
My mother is now in a rehab facility. She fell for the umpteenth time and injured her legs but no broken bones. She also had a mild concussion. At this point she seems to have finally accepted that she cannot take care of herself and live alone. We expect to be moving into the new house in July and we would love for her to live with us except for a couple of things. When she falls neither of us can pick her up and, with three cats in the home, the cats and her would be in danger. I have almost been tripped up by a speeding feline myself. When she finishes rehab we will be looking for an ALF or nursing home if that is necessary. I’m sure that many of you have gone through this same thing.
“Of course, the Brits would say American beer isn’t worth opening.” Much of it isn’t, especially from the megabreweries. Likewise, some Brit. beers are so-so. But American microbreweries are legion, so many nobody should even try to sample them all, and many larger independents [e.g., Summit in St. Paul, and Schell in New Ulm, MN] have quite good brews. A Brit beer, Samuel Smith’s Tadcaster Porter [= Taddy Porter] tops my list, but lots of our beers are close. Of course, “De gustibus . . ..”
Peace, emb
Ghost – I’ve been lurking, but haven’t had much to add of late. Work has been … unusual of late. And funny you should ask about The Mop. Glaciers move faster than my hair grows – possibly tectonic plates too. For months, it has been more or less stick straight and nothing to fuss about. Within the past week, it has become obnoxious. It’s in my eyes, in the way, standing up and curling up in every direction. Was just grousing about getting it cut again just this afternoon.
Work, of late, in two anecdotes (sorry for the extended length):
I kept hearing this really weird noise outside yesterday. Turns out, it was coming from the geese who were flying really, really high; the wind was messing with the sound. As I watched, two geese that were flying independently from any other flocks (and in the opposite direction), suddenly made a 180 and joined up with one of the flocks. I had to laugh. I just *know* it was a couple, and one of them was telling the other, “I TOLD you we made a wrong turn over Toledo!”
This morning, a woman walked in and asked me, “Where did all the black people live?”
Annoyed with my blank stare (I was too taken aback to formulate a response at first.) She added she had grown up in the area, but has been gone a while. She was trying to find her family and needed to find where the black people lived. She REALLY got mad when I told her that I was not a local and there were no racial restrictions on housing. She huffed her annoyance and proceeded to give the worst and ridiculously vague recollection of the area she was trying get to find. (“there were these two bars.. and train tracks… and oh! lots of shootings and drugs..) Again, I repeated my non-local status. Again she countered with the “only black people live there” bit. She THEN said, “I’ve only been gone ten years, there is NO WAY it’s gotten that mixed already.” By this point, I am *hoping* to see a camera crew for some television show. No luck. Finally deciding I was of no use, she stomped outside to leave. Because the universe has a warped sense of humor, a customer (a regular who lives across the street, and who happens to be black) was walking up the lot. This girl fell upon my customer; I could not hear what was said, but Tracy stopped short, looked at her like a talking lamp post, shook her head, then walked inside. (Tracy is also *not* a morning person. 🙂 ) As she passed me, she asked, “Is it really early, or do I just need coffee?”
She didn’t remember where she lived ten years previously? As my 89 year old mother rode in the ambulance by the spot where the house that she was born in used to be she pointed it out to the emt’s.
Jerry – Exactly. My family moved a fair bit when I was little. I can point out several of my old homesteads. I have no doubt drugs played a factor in her memory loss. Glad your mom didn’t hurt herself too badly. Your abrupt message made me fear stroke or heart attack. Blacklight would pair well with your mom – not much in the way of speed or stealth, and lots of naps in blanket and kitty bed.
Who knows? She may have had the wrong city. There seem to be an excess of people with room-temperature IQ’s walking around these days, and it’s often, as you surmised, the result of self-inflicted chemical dumbing-down.
JJ:
Snarky? No.
Surly. Yep.
I am sitting in a Bass Sports parking lot while daughter Google search for restaurants. Other reason is there’s a sister ship to Hemingway’s Pilar boat there.
Ghost – No, she had the right city. Unfortunately for her, Kokomo has one of the highest mixed race couples percentage in the state, making her “black people only” qualification pretty much useless. That said, there is a higher concentration of the black community in certain areas, but nothing I would even dream of calling “exclusively black.” And the shootings and drugs didn’t help either. Much like much of the Midwest, Kokomo is battling meth and heroin, and stupid people with guns. After talking with Tracy (who IS a local), we narrowed down the area she was likely looking for – I would be willing to describe the area in terms of income, but not by race.
And for the record, I work in customer service. I don’t bias on color, I bias on how well you can function in a public setting without making me want to beat you with a baseball bat. My store is currently battling thieves who are targeting two very specific items – our refillable coffee cups and …cheese. My midnight guy is threatening to put locks on our cooler doors and make cheese a “by request only” item. They got him for four blocks of cheddar last week. It’seems not funny, but when I walk into work of a morning, and her hangs his head as says, “They got me.” I have to laugh. It’s like a surreal western with outlaws after our cheese supply.