I told you a few days ago: near the end of this series there’d be a little pay-off for regular visitors to arloandjanis.com. As I remember, this is the first appearance of the Cobra-like sports car that prominently and incongruously appears at the top of this blog. In the strip above and every day on the Web, we are left to wonder, “What is Arlo really like?”
289 responses to “Frequently Questioned Answers IV”
I see all of these Facebook posts of stuff from the 60’s, 70″S & 80’s and am asked ” Do you remember?”
Of course I remember. I have a cornucopia of useless information.
Can someone tell me where my car keys are at?
And yeah I heard about that gadget that can locate your keys. I suppose we’ll see that as nostalgia in 20 years.
Yep…when the computer implanted in you brain uses Wi-Fi (or whatever they’ll be calling it then) to unlock your car; activate its fuel-cell powered motor; download your customized environmental and comfort settings into its computer; and give it its driving instructions.
Ghost, I don’t want any computer implanted in my brain. Gives me the shivers thinking of such a thing. With both rogue and assorted government hackers trying to get into the existing nets to steal your data, why would anyone with sense even contemplate allowing them direct access to your brain?
I have a computerized implanted pacemaker/defibrillator in my chest that communicates wirelessly to transmit data to the doctor’s office. It is NOT password protected. None of them are, and over 100,000 of them are implanted in folks in the US each year.
I’ve thought about drafting a murder mystery where someone uses that to randomly kill innocent folks to mask the motive for killing a specific person.
OF due 1245-1305 CST. emb
http://www.nps.gov/features/yell/webcam/oldFaithfulStreaming.html
Mark, I’d bet good money that millions would jump at a chance to get a “brain computer”, so they could listen to tunes, watch videos, and Tweet in their heads; place delivery orders from their neighborhood cannabis emporiums via the InterWebNet; and keep their Libro delle Facce pages continuously and instantaneously updated, 24/7. They will be called “Cyberslackers”.
Ghost, no reason to order Cannabis for cyberslackers. They will have direct input to the pleasure centers of the brain.
There is a reason my phone is named Hal.
But I wouldn’t mind a computer chip so hospital would know I was diabetic and was missing my uvula. And I know where your mind just went, Ghost.
I thought they had some that, they kept pointing a “gun” at my arm every time they came into room. Like a pricing gun at Walmart.
Done, done, done Hal.
Hospital bracelets are bar-coded now, Jackie. Scanners read and compare numbers to make sure they have right patient before giving meds, etc, to avoid mistakes.
David: Yeah, but then they’d be like the rats in the Skinner boxes and die from Too Much of a Good Thing™. They would be called “Cybercadavers.”
Jackie, here I’d been assuming you had a quite lovely uvula, and now you tell me it’s missing. Where did it go?
Ghost, but that would be the solution to the drug problem. Direct stimulation of the pleasure centers and who needs any of that other junk? Somehow the various levels of government would have to figure out how to tax it to replace all the “sin taxes” they would lose as tobacco and alcohol disappeared. Farmers would have to grow food crops instead and there would be a huge number of displaced workers as cigarette factories, distilleries and bars close. And gas stations would have to sell gas again, Gasp!
Jackie, it would be nice if they could eliminate all the wires and monitor everything wirelessly with one of those handheld scanners. There’s a money-making idea there for an inventor. Get on it quick before the durable equipment folks beat you to it.
We were talking about conditioning through stimulation of the pleasure center in 1970 as a means of controlling heart beat, blood pressure, etc. It’s still being discussed as a means of treatment for depression, addiction, etc.
I have no real choice in being wired, but I don’t think that I will be microchipped or have my DNA tested by Ancestry.com. I”m sure that no such agency knows what books I’ve ordered from Amazon.
Mark, I’m sure that William Shatner is working on it.
The first non-medical feature they’d add to the implanted and scannable medical chip would be the ability to read your insurance coverage and your bank account balances.
And yet they didn’t know I was a diabetic because I didn’t have my testing supplies with me when I checked in?
Have to go in and sort clothes that are going to make me decide to fire someone else AND MY LAUNDRY reeks of cigarette smoke. Where tons of my clothes reside both stored, clean and dirty. I hate smokers!! Hate smokers!! I am cleaning this end of house except it is a mud pit out in yard and I have cats in and out like pin ball game.
The missing uvula resulted from a high priced university physician convincing me he could magically make my sleep apnea disappear. He rebuilt inside of nose and removed uvula, sleep apnea worsened. I am a high risk for choking and can self administer heimleich so if you tell me you are trained ems, don’t smoke, are good healthy cook, do dishes and laundry and like to drive vehicles with large motors and don’t mind nudity, apply away. I’m tired of this nonsense. Sailing not necessary.
If you’re diabetic and don’t always need to carry a test kit or insulin, get yourself a MedicAlert bracelet. Over the last thirteen years, I’ve woken up in four different ERs, largely because the paramedics read the back of my bracelet and knew I was diabetic.
In Hopper’s ‘The mansard roof, the mansards have mansards.’
http://www.edwardhopper.net/mansard-roof.jsp#prettyPhoto
Peace, emb
We’ve been using those bracelets for some years now. As Family Waiting Volunteer, I always get a censored* patient list [*operation not listed / HIPPA] from the surgery dept. and check it against waiting patients’ bracelets. Only once did patient’s bracelet and list # not match. Patient didn’t get out of the surgery, but Admitting had to do some online ‘paperwork.’ Because of a ruptured right bicep, taking bp on right arm hurts ~ blazes and, of course, raises my bp. So I get a ‘LIMB ALERT’ bracelet. Kept one as a souvenir.
*Of course, I know Dr. x does mostly joint replacements [roughly 2 hr.]. His more minor operations take less time [times listed on form]. Dr. y is most likely doing a hysterectomy or some such, Dr. z does dental surgery, and a civilian male in blue from head to toe is likely there because his mate [I never ask particulars] is there for a C-section. But if somebody I know, other than a hospital employee comes in or out the outside door, I immediately forget I saw them.
If it’s somebody I don’t know, but they* come over to see me, chances are it’s a former student who was in my 400 student freshman bio class 30-40 yr. ago. If this were Bellevue or Mayo, that would be less likely.
* Anu Garg says ‘they’/’them’ are now acceptable gender-neutral singular pronouns, which is likely a reasonable way to solve that problem.
Peace, emb
I hot lost in Edward Hopper. I like the houses more than his later famous work that has become ubiquitous. And satirized.
Jackie, I can check all those boxes except “trained EMS”, although I’ve had extensive advanced first aid and CPR training. (I carry a full “blow-out kit” in my range bag, and a small one in my car, for treating GSWs.) I also did minor surgery on a lady friend, which I will not go into because 1) the details would get me banned here, 2) the statute of limitations for “practicing without a license” have probably not run, and 3) you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. (Although you might, come to think of it.)