A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

Extra, Extra!

Gratuitous Gratuity

By Jimmy Johnson


Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
Hooray! It seems the EarthLink servers are up and running, again. I was getting worried after two days of “This Page Cannot Be Displayed” error messages. I will say, I have been with EarthLink since I launched my first Web site back in the 90s, and the reliability has been outstanding—with only the occasional hiccup. Today, I have another Sunday A&J from 1994. This is a mild example of the insecurity that characterized Janis in the early years. Janis since has mellowed and enjoys life and marriage much more these days. In reality, the waiter or waitress who hovers constantly around me and pesters me with ceaseless questions and attention is not ingratiating himself. But reality is what insecurity is all about, is?

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257 responses to “Gratuitous Gratuity”

  1. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    I’ll never forget going to a steakhouse in Ft. Lauderdale on its opening day. I don’t remember the food or the service. What I remember is the cashier snatching the money out of my hand and throwing the change back at me. Beware to those who would do so today.

  2. Boise Ed Avatar

    Max’s Cafe in San Francisco has a set of “Max’s Rules” on the back of the menu. One of them is that the server will not pester you with the old “How is everything?” line.

  3. TruckerRon Avatar

    If anyone was curious about the online test for tetrachromacy…

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/tetrachromacy.asp

  4. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    Wait, Y’all, I see a movie coming out of Jackie’s adventures:”Driving Miss Jackie”. With a rotating cast for the drivers.

  5. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Better “Driving Miss Jackie” than “Miss Jackie Driving Her Daughter Crazy”. 🙂

  6. Jackie monies Avatar
    Jackie monies

    Daughter said that was same s..t we have been in except we did not get stuck in the snow. Just stopped at a peach orchard for Indian River grapefruit and peach cobbler for daughter and grandson.

  7. Jackie monies Avatar
    Jackie monies

    You all know me too well. And maybe that is not a problem! You can be my drivers anytime.

  8. Ursen Avatar
    Ursen

    Reference to tipping, use tip to vote on level of service, yet never pee in someone elses chili bowl. My children learned how to tip right by the time they were 10 years old, and how to treat all servers as human beings. All my regular places the servers treat me as family, and I treat them as family.

  9. NealinBawstun Avatar

    It is my belief that no woman in history has ever said to her spouse/significant other, “You overtipped that waiter.”

  10. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    emb, “why do cats chase the red dot?”. Simple answer, because it moves. They are going to chase any moving object as part of their hunting instincts, whether it be a small animal or your shoelaces. Ours will pick up a toy mouse with one foot and then throw it, chasing after it as if it moved on its own.

    Indian River grapefruit in a peach orchard? Was that some of that GMO food or just a citrus smuggler in Georgia?

  11. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    They own citrus orchard too also pecans. Some in Florida and some in Georgia. Daughter got peach bread and I got my deputy Muscadine jelly which he used to eat from his grandmother. Ages me since I can make it too.

  12. emeritus MN biologist Avatar
    emeritus MN biologist

    Whoops! Forgot to add an hour. Sorry, emb

    OF due 1759-1819 CST. emb

    http://www.nps.gov/features/yell/webcam/oldFaithfulStreaming.html

  13. Charlotte in NH Avatar
    Charlotte in NH

    Oh boy, Jackie is on the road again, neither stuck in the snow or stuck in the motel. It’s a relief to hear that. And they have finally left the snow behind them. Wonder how the three-year-old is doing …

  14. Jackie monies Avatar
    Jackie monies

    Three year old is asleep in carseat and we just ate seafood. Oyster scallops, creamed collards and grilled corn.

  15. Mindy from Indy Avatar

    Glad there were no lived lost in the plane crashes today. Now as long as everyone gets off that interstate, it will be a great week.

    On cats – From what I understand, a cat has rather poor recognition of vertical movement because their normal prey follows a horizonal path. Blacklight would not have faired well as a feral kitty because she also has very poor depth perception. She cannot pounce. Should be tragic, but hysterical to view in person. (She is also scared to bits of anything bigger than a locust that can move under its own power. If she can’t tell the human is making it move, she is GONE. Hence my logic for her name.)

  16. Mindy from Indy Avatar

    Oh, and another Blacklight “quirk” – if she accidentally gets shut in a room, rather than meow, paw at the door, or otherwise notify me, she will sit quietly (often in the dark) until I realize she is missing. Last thing on my list before I walk out of my house – make sure cat is accounted for.

  17. Charlotte in NH Avatar
    Charlotte in NH

    Your Blacklight is a remarkable cat! What a character. Good that she has you to take good care of her.

    Jackie, good news that your grandson is sleeping happily. MMmmm, that food does sound awfully good. Lucky you!

  18. Old Bear Avatar
    Old Bear

    GR6
    I have not eaten anyone in quite awhile.
    And my “Motivational Speeches” do not have the growl they once had.

    TruckerRon
    We see not with our eyes but with our brain.

  19. Old Bear Avatar
    Old Bear

    About 25% of people with Macular degeneration see things.
    The brain inserts stuff in the blanks – wheels, fences, my MIL saw
    bugs and people.

  20. Trapper Jean Avatar
    Trapper Jean

    Denise,

    Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
    Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
    Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy, was he?

  21. Jackie monies Avatar
    Jackie monies

    Here we are in St Pete at long last. It was 90 in Orlando according to my cousin who is meeting us tomorrow. Daughter drove entire white knuckle trip so I hope this ends up being a little bit more pleasant for her. She is now portioning tiny jars of her father’s ashes. They will go with a couple dozen of the boats on Saturday. She and I will put a few in water when bagpipes begin and try not to get run over by 160 boats.
    Love, Jackie

  22. Trapper Jean Avatar
    Trapper Jean

    I did, once, leave a two cent tip for a waitress, and I told the head waitress why, just in case there was a question. She said she understood. Evidently I was not the first customer to complain.

    I have also walked out of a restaurant. My mother and I had been shopping one day, with my two toddlers, and I was pregnant with my son. We stopped at one of the famous pancake houses, where we had often stopped for lunch. On this particular day there weren’t many customers, but we were ignored while other tables got their food, so I sent Mom and the babies back to the car while I told the manager in no uncertain terms just why we were leaving. As I headed for the door he was chewing out the waitress that should have waited on us. Another waitress met me at the door, and said the offending lady was the manager’s wife, and it was about time she got what for!

    On the other hand, we treat servers well, and if they treat us well they get very god tips, and I will make it a point to stop by and tell the manager or head server that we enjoyed our meal and the server did an excellent job.

  23. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    I might sign up for macular degeneration if I knew my brain would insert imagines of naked women.

    Jackie, consider the Village there in spirit when you disperse the ashes.

  24. Old Bear Avatar
    Old Bear

    GR6
    As I said we see with our brain – close eyes – push the “right” button an there you are.