A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

Extra, Extra!

Male Bonding Does Not Involve Duct Tape

By Jimmy Johnson


Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
Someone requested more of the “Vince” strips. I did get sort of distracted after I began this story arc. After beginning it, I was reminded looking through the old stuff that Vince was something of a recurring character in the spring of 1993, a sounding board for Janis. All the arcs are similar in nature, so I have abandoned chronological order and for the rest of the week will offer what I call “The Best of Vince.”

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293 responses to “Male Bonding Does Not Involve Duct Tape”

  1. David in Austin Avatar
    David in Austin

    Will you guys kidnap me from the hospital for your field trip? I love “wings.” Still waiting for the substitute for my charge doctor to show so I can plead my case for early release on good behavior. :\

  2. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    David, if I were there I would sneak you a big plate of wings past the hospital wardens. I used to sneak beer and even carried a giant watermelon in for friend and held a watermelon party. Of course, hospital security is better nowadays. If I remember right, we put the watermelon under a dress?

    When my mother in law was hospitalized so long I would arrive to find signs posted on doors saying no unauthorized food or food brought in. They probably figured we would do that.

    Love, Jackie

  3. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    David, if kidnapping is not possible, we could deliver wings and cover the door while you enjoy ’em. Funny that you mention a hospital extraction. We planned and ran mock ups for such an event when I was in service of my government. Never did one since the stated reason went away.

  4. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    I once smuggled a full-sized jack o’lantern into a friend’s hospital room on Halloween. Smuggling in wings would be a piece of cake. Which reminds me, I also once smuggled in a cake to another friend. Along with a bottle of wine and a set of wine glasses.

  5. David in Austin Avatar
    David in Austin

    I may not have clearly defined “wings.”. 😉

  6. Steve From Royal Oak, MI Avatar

    When I had my hip replaced 2 years ago, the hospital food was AWFUL. No seasoning and no salt. When I need to get the next hip done, I’m having my son bring in McDonalds!

  7. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Definitely NOT angels’ wings.

  8. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    This is a good one: when I had massively awful hysterectomy and basic redesigning (more than anyone wanted to know) I was in a truly swanky hospital in Houston, TX populated by truly swanky socialites having babies, surgery, etc. All women.

    The food was CATERED by the most expensive socially upscale restaurants in Houston, along with real plates, silverware, linens, even fresh flowers on trays. You got a menu, you picked the restaurant and the food from the menus of each restaurant and they delivered it.

    How good was it? I don’t know, my surgery was so bad they knocked me out and I stayed out for a week! I don’t even remember a single meal! My one shot at seeing how celebrities live in a hospital and I only remember the fireworks from Six Flags! And the private nurse with the morphine shots.

    Still think it was a strange experience, the room looked like an expensive hotel room with real furniture too. Not that I saw much of it either!

    Love, Jackie

  9. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    After: canned ham and lima beans, canned cheese, canned burnt crackers, and a la canned pound cake; bad food is hard to come by. Oh, did I mention canned steak and potatoes with a thick layer of grease. My fondest recall of hospitals include popsicles and pain killers.

  10. Ruth Anne in Winter Park Avatar
    Ruth Anne in Winter Park

    One more quote for the weekend – I suspect that if the author of this one were still around he’d be giving ’em hell on both sides of the aisle.

    There is enough in the world for everyone to have plenty to live on happily and to be at peace with his neighbors.
    ~ Harry S. Truman

  11. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Sand, I am not trying to be a snob……making light of bad experience I guess. Mike is in a lot of pain and I am staying close in case I have to do something for him. You feel so helpless.

    Love, Jackie

  12. emeritus minnesota biologist Avatar
    emeritus minnesota biologist

    When HST was president, I believe there were topsoil > we do now, and I think he was wrong then.

    There are now some 7 billion, and we are ‘mining’ much of our farmland. Good Pope Francis says it’s a matter of redistribution of wealth. We need that [WWJD? Remember the young rich man?], but it will not be enough. My guess is, for the long haul, with many changes in land use, consumption, food habits, etc., Earth can sustain a reasonably comfortable human population of 1 billion. Good luck.

    Peace, emb

  13. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Blessed are the care givers…

    The one time I had surgery, in a big city hospital a two hour drive away, I was told to check in at 5:00 AM, NPO from the previous midnight. They finally took me to surgery at 3:30 PM. That was due to a shortage of anesthesiologists, a common problem, or so I’ve been told, and certainly not my surgeon’s fault. When I woke up, I discovered I was in a VIP suite, undoubtedly his way of saying, “Sorry”. (Also, he was a close friend of, and former mentor to, my local doc, who referred me.)

    I, of course, could not possibly have cared less, but it did make it much more comfortable for my sister, who stayed at the hospital with me, and I was grateful. When I went back for my post-surgery follow up, I said to him. “That certainly was a nice room I was in. Did you have anything to do with that?”

    He looked over my left shoulder and mumbled something like, “Ah…oh…I don’t know.” If I could have ever gotten that man into a high-stakes poker game, I’d be retired by now.

  14. emeritus minnesota biologist Avatar
    emeritus minnesota biologist

    Sorry, part of that first sentence went into cyberspace: “When HST was president, I believe there were topsoil > we do now, and I think he was wrong then.”

  15. David in Austin Avatar
    David in Austin

    I would be happy to have any of the MCI meals that I ate early on in the Army. We still called them C-rations even though the Army didn’t. I hated it when we stopped getting accessory packs without cigarettes, because I would trade them for fruit or a dessert. I don’t think the hospital would like me burning heat tabs in my room, though. I was around for the transition to MREs, which were not as good, just because almost everything was dehydrated. They were easier to carry, but that wasn’t that important since I was with mech infantry.

    I should add the caveat that I had the good fortune of never consuming said field rations in hostile territory. Luckily for me, ALL my field time is in training. I’ve had field rations in Alabama, Kansas,Germany, and the desert of California. I’m proud of my service, but I’ve never been under hostile fire.

    For the Fallen

    With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,
    England mourns for her dead across the sea.
    Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,
    Fallen in the cause of the free.

    Solemn the drums thrill: Death august and royal
    Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres.
    There is music in the midst of desolation
    And a glory that shines upon our tears.

    They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
    Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
    They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted,
    They fell with their faces to the foe.

    They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the morning
    We will remember them.

    They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;
    They sit no more at familiar tables of home;
    They have no lot in our labour of the day-time;
    They sleep beyond England’s foam.

    But where our desires are and our hopes profound,
    Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,
    To the innermost heart of their own land they are known
    As the stars are known to the Night;

    As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust,
    Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain,
    As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,
    To the end, to the end, they remain.

    Robert Laurence Binyon (1869-1943)

  16. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    David, there was a class of C-rats specifically packaged without the benefit packs. These were refered to as “inflights,” because they were served on C130 long hauls. I am certain at least one consumer of these later rose to being a senior manager in the airline industry. 😉

  17. NK in AZ Avatar
    NK in AZ

    David in Austin, I have not read that poem before, and it is absolutely lovely. Thank you for posting. And in this week of Thanksgiving, after Veterans’ Day, once again to all those applicable here in the Village, thank you for your service. Jackie, best wishes and prayers to Mike and you.

    I am thankful that my brother and SIL are coming to Arizona from Texas for Thanksgiving this year. Haven’t seen them in a while, and we are looking forward to it. Bought a turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin for pie (chiffon), etc today. Some fresh flowers too, that I probably paid too much for, but husband Jim says we will just have to enjoy them extra.

  18. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    David in Austin, the newer MREs are not dehydrated, and there is a flameless heat pack. After our tornado in 2011, we ate quite a few of the civilian style while without power/water and they were pretty good. But avoid the Chicken Ala King!

  19. Bob in Orland Park Avatar
    Bob in Orland Park

    You haven’t eaten till you have “C” rations heated on the exhaust manifold of a M-59 Armored Personnel Carrier. You ALWAYS have to punch a hole in the top of the can or be prepared for quite a mess in the engine compartment. Of course we learned the hard way.

  20. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    We kept MCIs handy at a remote location where I spent some time, in case inclement weather conditions or, you know, like combat operations breaking out, kept us from our normal source of provisions. For those of you who have never seen one, here’s a photo of the AF version of my era.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/Crations.jpg

    Unlike many, I didn’t think they were all that bad (considering I didn’t *have* to eat them, of course). I didn’t even mind the Ham and…well, you know.

  21. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Oh, cool! I just noticed the P-38 on the can to the right. I still have one on my key ring.

  22. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    We actually had a plan for if Russian Air Force troop carriers were inbound to the field. We only had enough M-16s for the Security Police flight, so my men were supposed to be issued semi-auto M-1 carbines, and I was to get a full-auto M-2 carbine. Hahahahahaha! I already had the guy picked out I was going to make trade with me, on the theory that the gun that shoots the fastest get shot back at the mostest.

  23. Trapper Jean Avatar
    Trapper Jean

    When I was but a tiny girl my Dad was in the Army and we were stationed in Munich for a year. Daddy would trade his C-rations for Mom’s cans of beef stew and baked beans, and he always left cans of cookies, crackers, and candy for me to have for an afternoon treat. I was two years old-it was a treat, ok? 🙂 Later some MCIs found their way to our house. I thought every kid got their snacks out of little green cans. That ended when Daddy retired, and I thought my days of Army rations was over. Then I met Husband (or Boyfriend, at the time) and got a look in his hunting gear closet. That’s when I knew he was The One! He had a couple of boxes of C-rations (pretty old by then) and a box of the new-fangled MREs. He shopped at one of my favorite stores, Brigade Quartermasters.

  24. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    Ghost, David, here is a site which describes all the US varieties of field rations and many foreign types. Looks to me like the Soviets would fight hardest to get some decent food!

    http://www.mreinfo.com/

  25. Granny Carol Avatar
    Granny Carol

    GR, they look like the ones my brother had when he served in the National Guard. He let me try one out – I don’t remember what it was, but it was palatable. Hope everyone here has a happy Thanksgiving. I will be blessed with family being with us (16 for the meal) and I truly am thankful for God’s provision daily. I know for many of you that it may be a reminder of loss, and that others (or their family members) here are going through health difficulties, so my prayers are with you all. When I went through my mother’s last illness which lasted over two years, I felt like I was just going through the motions during the holidays. In retrospect, I learned so much about finding joy in the little things, and appreciating each day as it comes, I realize it was my Mama’s last lesson in life for me. And Debbe, I would like you to post your whole list; I’d like to have a copy!