A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

Extra, Extra!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

By Jimmy Johnson

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
It’s Valentine’s Day, 2015, and it falls on a Saturday. You know what that means, don’t you? It means you won’t get into so much as a Burger King without a wait! Be sure to visit today’s A&J for my indirect thoughts on that one. Where do you get your ideas, indeed. Don’t get me wrong. I love a nice outing in a good restaurant, especially in observance of Valentine’s Day; I just make it a point never to go on Valentine’s Day! This allows for a truly romantic dinner in a peaceful atmosphere (at normal prices), plus it serves a secondary purpose if necessary: “Valentine’s Day? Don’t you remember that cozy little place we dined at last August!”

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255 responses to “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

  1. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    More than that, sand. I go times four. Double-double down?

  2. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    Damn, that is formal dress.

  3. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    You lost me at the bakery.

  4. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    For a hundred bucks I refer you to Debbe.

  5. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    Ne jamais aller nulle part sans un couteau, la règle # 9. Vous ne savez jamais quand vous pourriez être appelé à trancher une baguette, eh GR6?

  6. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    Amete s’il fe plait de jouer over play.

  7. Jerry in Fl Avatar
    Jerry in Fl

    Arrete si tu veux.

  8.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I am home, Lucy! After a trip to Tulsa and two Academy stores who had one Glock between them, a display model, and one on hold in safe for some guy who could not pass license check. I passed with flying colors. I can tell you why the two Academy gun departments said they were swamped——-Valentine’s Day. They were not getting any more Glocks until lordy knows when and they said I could come check on the one in safe after March 5 when it would be released to sell. I said I would be in Florida on March 5 with a Glock which I would just go buy from somewhere else. So they sent me to second Academy which was also swamped.

    But had a nice young man in his senior year in criminal whatever in college and sounds like Ghost in that he carries his Glock at all times except at work when they don’t let him. Interesting. He wants to be in FBI but realizes he is not going to be sufficiently educated to make it. So, I have a gun but no ammo because they had a run on that for Valentines.

    And I thought only florists had it bad?

    It seems we have no Gander Mountain but we do have a Dick’s Sporting Goods and a giant Bass Pro Shop which I pass all the time but don’t shop because, well because. I know that West Marine only carries signal flares, not real guns, so I don’t think that leaves much except Walmart and Tractor Supply but I am not thinking I saw guns in TS.

    Then I gave up and headed home, Garmin for once in its’ life decided not to send me down a freeway and instead sent me a two lane road I haven’t seen in years which turned out to be full of gun stores so small they were one window width in a strip mall, small mall. That and TexMex and barbque places.

    Had no intention of even going to fast food but restaurants seemed as swamped as gun counters.

    Almost bought a home defense shot gun on sale too but decided to ask advice. You may well know why Mike wasn’t anxious for me to have guns in bed. When he worked on road he often came home from Texas or Kansas late at night and walked in and he had bad memories of me slamming a steel door on his arm once when he stuck his hand around door opening.

    However, he told me to get appropriate guns and learn to use them, get licensed and instructed and know when to shoot, just before he died. I had a clip automatic I carried for years after we were kidnapped and a license for it down in Texas. After I became less paranoid about being attacked again, I stopped. Ironic I feel the need now when I am actually not afraid at all.

    That’s all for now, as Forrest Gump said.

    Love, Jackie

  9. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    No word from David in Austin lately. Hope that means he is recovering from successful surgery!

  10. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    I am hoping no news is good news on David. If he just had a kidney replaced I don’t think he will be posting anything for awhile. I sincerely hope it is good.

    Sorry Mark, a lot of those were the one window wide strip mall shops, unless Ghost and Sand says that is what I should go to! I figure I will go to Bass Pro Shop next. It is against the law to sell guns on Sunday I think but not sure about ammo?

    Need to go feed cats and dogs.One of the Pogos is out eating cat kibble on baker’s rack outside my office window which is right behind my computer screen. You can hear him chomping. He is a handsome possum with beautiful fur. Confession, long ago when I was a teenager I had fur collars on coats, well maybe up into my young adult days, and one was a beautiful possom shawl collar, so their fur can be so soft. I also had a mink hat (a la Jackie Kennedy style) and matching fur on my suit, as well as a casual raccoon preppy coat, which was most stylish then. I have since developed a conscious and owned nothing except leather and yes, I feel guilty for that now.

    So stage three was pleather and nauga’s.

    Love, Jackie

  11. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    Debbe, here’s something a little different for your music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImKY6TZEyrI

  12. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Jackie, if worse comes to worse, you can always order on-line. Just like Amazon…

    http://www.midwayusa.com/find?sortby=1&itemsperpage=20&newcategorydimensionid=15416&pageNumber=1

    I like MidwayUSA because of the good service and prices, plus it was founded and is still run by a USAF veteran. If nothing else, it will give you an idea of what is available and what fair prices are.

  13. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    So, I get free shipping and overnight or something like that from Amazon. Do they sell just ammo or other things too for guns? Not guns, right?

    Forgot to tell you what was hanging on my front door when I got home, a tee shirt from my 911 dispatcher who is married to my rock mason: “Feel safe tonight, sleep with a cop” with a shield emblem. Funny!

    I am too tired to sign up for membership, but I will. I think I can drop some of my retail memberships and opt out of them, I never pay any attention.

    Weather report is so variable for tonight, depending on who you read. I will just look at the Tulsa multi-million dollar super meteorologist report, who makes more than Cantore. They say that at meteorologist conventions the seas part before him. Or else I made that up?

    Love, Jackie

  14. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Inspiration for today, courtesy of my lunch fortune cookie which I just found in my bra:

    “Fortitude is the marshal of thought, the armor of the will, and the fort of reason.”

    The paper fortune, not the cookie.

    Either they are getting better at fortunes or plagiarizing.

  15. emeritus minn. biologist Avatar
    emeritus minn. biologist

    What happens if you forget the fortune cookie, meet a brawny old friend, and accept a bear hug? Peace, emb

  16. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    Confucius say: ‘Man who find fortune cookie in bra on pathway to heaven.”

  17. emeritus minn. biologist Avatar
    emeritus minn. biologist
  18. sandcastler™ Avatar
    sandcastler™

    GR6, you might enjoy this piece of Ukraine reporting. Let Google translate it. https://medium.com/politach-101/-321b2141c1db

  19. emeritus minn. biologist Avatar
    emeritus minn. biologist

    Oops! All of that / I didn’t take in the fine print: “The paper fortune, not the cookie.” emb

  20. Blinky the Wonder Wombat Avatar
    Blinky the Wonder Wombat

    Dang, it’s cold out there. 50 mph wins don’t help things either. Good day to sit by the fire and sip hot chocolate.

  21. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    Good morning Villagers…

    Jackie….just what all do you carry in your bra…so far it’s been your cell phone, now a fortune cookie….I can’t wait to hear about your carrying your Glock in your bra. 🙂

    Hmmm….been going back over the last couple of day’s postings…since the past couple of days I really have just been skimming over them….been running late in the mornings…..and…

    Where are you Miss Charlotte????

    It was a no show on Brooklynne Rose last night….and too much drama that I won’t even go into here.

    So, we’re in between an advisory and a winter storm warning….

    Mark…thanks for the music link…I liked it much…suited my mood this morning.

    And also for posting the link to Jackie’s column…finally read it this morning…wonderfully done Jackie…

  22. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Good morning all, managed to sleep a little later today. The master bedroom is of course far darker and luxurious and quiet than my back apartment is. Hope the large cop doesn’t mind that? I am moving out and we are to clean it top to bottom for him this week. I need to buy new rugs as soon as we move elderly pit bull to another part of house.

    You realize of course I moved when Mike became so ill so I would not bother him. I just take my three benadryl and exhaust myself so I sleep. The ghosts, both old or new, are leaving me alone.

    Neither snow nor ice materialized last night so I had best see what the computer models did decide about us and whether? The Arctic Express may be delayed.

    Since I actually have a friend who seems to be heading for Tierra del Fuego in a small boat, I was laughing at the Jimmy Buffet song, “Party At the End of The World” as I drove to Tulsa last night. He is a rather serious and solitary sailor and not sure he is a Buffet fan? Would no doubt toss the tapes overboard as one wife once did. Not me, heck I lept from a burning RV outside College Station, Texas in panty hose, a long sweater and saved only my feather pillow and Mike’s Jimmy Buffet tapes.

    If Ghost hasn’t heard that story or done it himself, that may get the Chai tea coming out his nose this morning. My iced tea should be brewed by now.

    Love, Jackie

  23. Llee Avatar

    3 Valentines- thank you, Jimmy 🙂

  24. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Debbe, in answer to your question about bra AND to further choke Ghost:

    In a long time being very busty, I have been known to carry as much as Ghost does in those cargo pants. Rings of keys, large sums of money, small tools, dog treats, human treats, credit cards and wallets, jewelry, seed packets, medications, insulin pens, knives, small gun (not assault rifle). Also rolls of quarters for laundromats, Diet Cokes, candy bars and boxes of matches. I am sure much more but memory is failing and I don’t want to start doing a Jerry and making it up.

    Yesterday I had large sum of cash from an ATM. credit cards, large number of keys on ring and a cell phone stuck in there. This habit began when I lived in New Orleans and went to a lot of things like Mardi Gras parades, out on crowded streets, women would stick stuff in bras. Then the pick pockets and purse snatcher caught on to that and they’d dive into bras too instead of just mens’ back pockets.

    Good morning, Ghost!

    Love, Jackie