A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

Extra, Extra!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

By Jimmy Johnson

Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"
It’s Valentine’s Day, 2015, and it falls on a Saturday. You know what that means, don’t you? It means you won’t get into so much as a Burger King without a wait! Be sure to visit today’s A&J for my indirect thoughts on that one. Where do you get your ideas, indeed. Don’t get me wrong. I love a nice outing in a good restaurant, especially in observance of Valentine’s Day; I just make it a point never to go on Valentine’s Day! This allows for a truly romantic dinner in a peaceful atmosphere (at normal prices), plus it serves a secondary purpose if necessary: “Valentine’s Day? Don’t you remember that cozy little place we dined at last August!”

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255 responses to “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

  1. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Well, I know that personally when my granny jumped in front of me and screamed, I pulled both barrels of that double barreled 10 gauge damascus steel shotgun, blasting my cousin James with dirt dauber nests from both barrels.

    Seriously, the dirt dauber nests had no wadding or way to expel. Life was saved. Now had I found the shells (our house was littered with shells and still is out in country- not this one) or had anyone cleaned out gun, he might be dead.

    Same cousin’s brother, who now lives in house, shot hole through roof trying to shoot a snake on a dresser in bedroom there and shot a hole in bottom of boat when a moccasin dropped in from a tree. I did say I come from a long line of hunters and gun owners. Did not claim rocket scientists. These are actually NOT blood kin, as we say in the South.

  2. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Maybe tee shirt says it best, sleep with a cop.

  3. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Hate shopping because of bad weather. If I can’t have Diet Coke I might as well survive off the six months of rations already in house, so long as animals have food.

    I fear Charlotte has been clobbered in far north, along with lots of others, badly with epochal blizzards and snow. How’s Indianan and Michigan and Illinois. Minnesota?

    Ghost, does this mean entire article is as suspect as other Valentine’s ones like roses, which I personally despise? I began my floral career to never use babies’ breath, ribbons, plastic holiday picks or any cutesy items. I was going to do simple, elegant and refined, clear vases, no fillers, a couple of twigs, natural greens and simple flowers. That lasted about as long as it took me to realize I owned the cash registers and you had to sell people what they wanted, not what you wanted.

    I became the master of cute.

  4. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Here ya go, emb; just for you.

    http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/46487-2/holster_shorts_3813web.jpg

    “Undertech Concealment Shorts”

  5. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    Yes, guns can be dangerous if not treated correctly. But then, so can hammers, crowbars, band saws, tire tools, kitchen knives, home-canned vegetables and females.

    Jackie, you will be sleeping with a cop…well, nearby, anyway…but he won’t be there 24 hours a day.

    http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/48210-2/lady_defender_DSC3142web.jpg

  6. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    GR 😉 just Googled “training bras”…..don’t go there……

  7. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    NWS..gonna be a long, snowy night…8 inches they say…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fyY-TxGEwE

  8. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    Accuweather.com says snow will start in 36 minutes…..

  9. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    Ghost, I think the principle of the training bra is the same as the cat. Training the owner to do certain things!

  10. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    Let me rephrase my comment. Training the owner how to live with them.

  11. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Love Eagles, the band and the bird.

  12. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Ghost, other men here, I like to think I am pretty brave whether male or female. I married a man who wasn’t afraid of a woman who castrated calves, butchered animals, rode horses, had long fingernails, a body and a brain and took off her clothes way too often and frequently. And he never stood in front of nor behind me unless one of us chose to. We went though life like that. Never had to ask permission or have a decision made, perhaps defend if bad one!

    When his daughter and I were kidnapped, he bought me a gun and went back to his job which meant he was out of town and out of state 90% of the time. Mike was always gone so much most people didn’t know I had a husband. I think the angriest I was resulted from having fear thrust upon me, not for me, but for my daughter who they grabbed. She lives with that fear yet today, I do not.

    But anger and not forgiveness totally, yeah.

    Sorry, feminism rears its’ ugly head at times.

    Love, Jackie

  13. Denise in Michigan Avatar
    Denise in Michigan

    Jackie, Michigan is 3 right now, going down to -12. And no, that is not taking the windchill into consideration. Too cold to snow right now. Might be a good night for a Depth Charge up here. That’s hot chocolate with Kahlua and Amaretto, all topped by whipped cream. It doesn’t make you any warmer…but you do feel cuddly. (My husband gave it that name because it goes down “whoosh” and then goes “boom”!)

  14. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Denise I love your state, all the Great Lakes in fact, but there is a good reason I visit in the summer which seems to be spring to me and fall. Are you Upper P? Michiganders are hardy souls.
    I was just thinking about winter cabins and romantic weekends as in the Valentines articles and it occurred to me I did not think I had ever been on any, what with being Southern and geographically challenged. And digging out of snow would fall short of romantic.

    Tell your husband I suspect him of Naval background!

  15. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    And Ghost, and Sand, and Mark, and EMB, and John, and JJ and any other men I may have offended, I left out the woman with a bad mouth who cursed and spoke her mind way too often!

    And never wore a wedding ring, despite two children, because he didn’t and I wouldn’t either and if I wouldn’t, then he wouldn’t!

  16. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    Denise, Debbe, Jackie, music to fit this weather: https://vimeo.com/16590323

  17. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Won’t open, Mark.

  18. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    Steely Dan…I knew the rhythm, the voice and….still I had to google donald fagan…getting old I guess. Oh, but Mark, bless you…

  19. emeritus minn. biologist Avatar
    emeritus minn. biologist

    Ghost: Cute tum button, nice waist. Wife would have envied that flat tummy, after 3rd kid. But not really; envy was not a problem w/ her.

    n.MN weather: Windy today, high was 12F or so. I’ll check cptr. w.channel. emb

  20. Debbe Avatar
    Debbe

    I’m just about 12 miles north…out in the country…I can’t wait to ‘fire’ up the old Izuzu, 4 wheel drive, in the morning……yeah, right………………I hate this %hit.

  21. Ghost Rider 6 Avatar
    Ghost Rider 6

    No offense taken by me, Jackie.

  22. emeritus minn. biologist Avatar
    emeritus minn. biologist

    High was about 10F. Tonight -2, M. high 12, low -14. Snow 30%, 20%, 10%. Days still getting longer. Peace, emb

  23. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Thank you, Ghost. I had an unpleasant experience at grocery with a checking account with five figures in it and computer machine would not take my check nor my bank card nor my out of state checking account and I still have two frozen bank accounts and credit cards due to deaths. I am getting tired of this but now that I have had two big glasses of tea with lemon and some caffieine but no Diet Coke I am recovering plus my blood sugar is back up too. I apologized because they knew darned well who I am, I am one of their larger spenders in their store and they called general manager but even she cannot over ride the computers. I wasn’t angry but frustrated.

    Funny part was I didn’t need groceries but was just getting back stock because I hate shopping now. Ghost, you would have been proud, it was all healthy good stuff and a ton of WW frozen dinners and Lean Cuisines. Which they will have to restock now and I don’t have to unload until minion is back at work when I will go rebuy after I call bank.

    So, ugly feminism and equality instead of yelling at bank! It was that darned sailboat and guns and the drugs at Walmart that flipped them out, not to mention all the traveling no doubt.

    Love, Jackie

  24. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    And I took one of those stupid communist-feminist magazine sex tests out of boredom and that is what the test results said, boredom and boring. Talk about boring!