A pithy comic strip about life, love, lust and puthy cats.

Est. 1985

Extra, Extra!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

By Jimmy Johnson


How’s your Yiddish this Valentine’s Day? Actually, when I was an unremarkable boy growing up in a southeastern mill town, I had quite a little vocabulary of Yiddish—or German—words, although I didn’t know it. Klatch. Bagel. Kvetch. Schlemiel. This was, of course, because television production in those days originated almost exclusively in New York City, and those early productions owed much to Vaudeville and even used many of the actors and comedians from the Vaudeville circuit. They made the outside world seem like such an interesting place! Then, it all moved to Los Angeles, and it didn’t seem that way anymore.
I know I have been scarce of late, but I’m recovering from the dreaded “flu-like illness” which has plagued me for what seems like an eternity. Updating a Web site doesn’t exactly tax one’s physical limits, I know, but an instinct for self preservation seems to kick in that prioritizes sitting in front of the television and having someone deliver a steady flow of soothing warm beverages. It’s working! I am recovering, thank you.
Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

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116 responses to “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

  1. Ghost Avatar
    Ghost

    Good morning, Li’l Smigz. You’re welcome. I’m always happy to be one of those silly little things that can make your day better. 🙂

  2. Ghost Avatar
    Ghost

    I wonder if anyone in the Village discovered this last night…

    Ghostly Wisdom: Sex is never the answer. Sex is the question, and “Yes” is the answer.

  3. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    You make me smile. Silly man.

    The answer is Dark Chocolate Truffle.

  4. Steve from Royal Oak, MI Avatar

    Ghost: But No means no. But when the answer is yes…

  5. Llee Avatar

    I started a new picture today. The sun is back and warming up the studio, shining through the jewel orchids and fairy roses…it smells lovely up there. 🙂 Even if I can only work 30 minutes, it was good. Hope everyone else’s day is lovely And that Janis’ cold doesn’t devolve into worse!

  6. Trapper Jean Avatar
    Trapper Jean

    I will say, those people who told me they-or someone they know-had knee surgery one day and were up and running around better than ever two days later were either lying or trying to be helpful. Two weeks later, and while my knee works fine, it is still sore and I’m still not walking quite straight. Hanging in here, though.

    Steve, my Dad used to say “Oh him? Yeah, I know him. We went to different schools together”.

    It’s good to be back in the Village and see others back, too.

    Ghost Sweetie, thanks for the song! I love it!

  7. emb Avatar

    Smigz: How about a voicemail that canceled an appt., followed by an unscheduled 2 hr. morning nap, followed by the cup of tea that is next to me? Things to do, still, but bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to do them. Peace,

  8. Steve from Royal Oak, MI Avatar

    Trapper Jean I had a secretary that tore her meniscus and had arthroscopic surgery. She was out for a little while and I casually mentioned to a co-worker that people usually are back on their feet sooner. Well that got back to my secretary, whom I treasured and she was very hurt. She started to explain how painful it was and how hard the rehab was. I immediately stopped her and apologized profusely. I told her that I was dead wrong and that EVERY surgery is unique and that it was stupid for a layman like me to infer that the recuperation should have been sooner. I was doubly mad at myself and the co-worker, but I realized that if you have something on your mind that might hurt someone, keep that thought to yourself. Glad that you are on the mend.

  9. Steve from Royal Oak, MI Avatar

    BTW, there are people who are up and running around two days after surgery. They are either professional athletes or have a very minor procedure done.

  10. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Jean I refrained from speaking my mind but I was a workmens compensation adjudicator and you NEVER see miraculous recoveries there.

    Personal observation, I had both little toes operated on at same time for bone spurs and fused. Famous surgeon assured me I’d be back on tennis courts in two weeks when club doubles opened for women’s league.

    RIGHT! The most painful surgery ever. Three months before I could wear any shoes.

    When he went to Federal prison for selling drug prescriptions I cheered. I asked him after surgery why he lied? He said because if he hadn’t, I would not have done or only one foot.

  11. Ghost Avatar
    Ghost

    I recently had “minor surgery”. I learned the truth of what a friend once told me…the only minor surgery is that which is performed on someone else.

  12. curmudgeonly ex-professor Avatar
    curmudgeonly ex-professor

    Trapper, by great coincidence, neighboring female friend, 70+ years, had a knee totally replaced yesterday, along with a little extra work to help straighten the leg. She was told this morning that she’d be coming home today! Yes, a PT-type person and a nurse will be calling on her each day for a while, but no week or ten days in a specialized recovery place. Just HOME!

    Things have progressed a lot since I had my last knee done almost 6 years ago. Incredible.

    PS: She is definitely not athletic; not even close. Of course, trapezes and trampolines are out for a while….

  13. Steve from Royal Oak, MI Avatar

    cep:
    When I had my hip replaced, I was only in the hospital for a day and a half, then home for PT visits for 2-3 weeks and then I went to PT center for 3-4 weeks. I was fortunate not to have pain and was back to work in less than 4 weeks. Because I timed it around Christmas, I probably could have gone back to work in 3 weeks. I have a job where I can work at home and was sending emails after about 2 weeks on matters that were somewhat urgent.

    A good friend who was a former college football player had his hip done a few weeks before and went to a specialized rehap facility, but the Surgeon’s nurse said that if I could recover at home, that would be healthier as those places are often full of germs. My wife worked from home for the first 2 days but when she saw me cooking dinner on the 2nd day, she went back to work. I was very very fortunate.

  14. curmudgeonly ex-professor Avatar
    curmudgeonly ex-professor

    Good for you, Steve. How long ago was this? I have heard that hip jobs are usually easier on the patient than knee jobs, but I have zip desire to find out.

  15. curmudgeonly ex-professor Avatar
    curmudgeonly ex-professor

    Add pogo sticks to the forbidden list, too!

  16. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    My surgeon says that I will never be able to wear high hooker heels again and why would I?

    But I want to!

  17.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    Yep. I’ve had both, and hip is easier than knee. I’m still putting off the second knee. No time before Europe in May and a convention in Arkansas in June. After that this summer, I rather suspect, depending on whether I get much relief from the second joint fluid injection (if my doc’s office can ever get the stuff).

  18. Steve from Royal Oak, MI Avatar

    I had my hip done in December 2012. The nurse told me that I would be dancing with my wife on Valentine’s Day. I told her the Doctor was a miracle worker as I could never dance before. Sorry about repeating that story.

    If my Doctor told me that I couldn’t wear High Hooker Heals, I would have told him that it was none of his business! Of course I’m a guy.

    Back to my earlier post of the day. Every surgery is different and every patient is different. I have heard that both knees or hips were easier. My Doctor told me that I was lucky. My lifestyle would be improved, without pain and only a minimal number of activities that I could not do. Any kind of back surgery might eliminate the pain, but almost always restricts the number of activities that one can do.

  19. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    My surgeon is a her, Air Force reserve major.
    Her hobbies are guns and competition shooting, running mountain cross country races and defense fighting.

    I love her. She tells the truth, how the cow ate the cabbage. She says I will hate her for about six months.

  20. Ghost Avatar
    Ghost

    Not being able to wear “Hooker High Heels” is almost the reverse of this old one:

    “Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after my wrist surgery?”

    “Of course.”

    “That’s wonderful! I can’t play it now.”

    ***

    Sounds like my kind of surgeon, Jackie, should I need the services of one. I’ve vowed to keep my original joints, as I’ve become rather attached to them, and so far that is working out for me.

  21. Jackie Monies Avatar
    Jackie Monies

    Just talked to Debbe this afternoon bearing many good wishes. She is still at her dad’s who seems to be failing and becoming weaker, more frail.

    Ion her son was with her this afternoon.

    Debbe is already having Internet problems. She says it will be several days before she may be able to get back. She sends love to all.

  22. Sideburns Avatar

    Last Monday evening, we went out for dinner. When we got back, my sister Marcia stepped on something in the living room that slipped out from under her foot, lost her balance and went down. On her way, her head hit the outside of my left knee, taking me down along with her. I managed to control my fall enough that I literally landed flat on my back. Marcia was OK, and quickly got back up. My knee was hurting and because of my osteoporosis, I was worried about the possibility of a break. Also, I knew that there was no way for me to get up on my own without putting any weight on my left leg, and Marcia isn’t strong enough for this.
    Most people would have to call 911 for something like this, but help at times like this is one of the things we pay our Association Dues for. Marcia called the Main Gate, and in a few minutes, Security was here, ready to help. After examining my knee and finding no obvious signs of a broken bone, I was pulled up to my feet and helped to a chair. Before they left, they had me sign a card stating that I had refused their offer to take me to a hospital for examination and given me an ice pack to help with any swelling. I don’t know about any of you, but if I had seen this in a movie, or read it in a novel, I wouldn’t have believed it, but there it is: more proof that the truth is stranger than fiction.
    The next day, I messaged my doctor, letting him know what had happened so that he wouldn’t be surprised to see me limping in on my Thursday appointment. He sent back some general advice, and told me to take it as easy as I could until I’d seen him. It’s a good thing that it’s my left leg that’s hurting, because once I get in the car I don’t need it for driving. If it were my right knee, or I was still driving a stick shift, I may not have been able to manage it. I’m now taking Tramadol twice a day, and much more mobile than I was.

  23. Ghost Avatar
    Ghost

    A very unlikely series of events…which can hurt you just as badly as a likely series. And which fortunately appears to have not been as bad for either of you as it could have. Kudos to your Security team.

  24. Sideburns Avatar

    We live in Leisure Village, a gated retirement community. That kind of service is just one of the things we pay our Association Dues for. There’s a commercial ambulance service near the main gate, and if I’d needed to go to the ER, that’s how I’d have been taken.

  25. Mark in TTown Avatar
    Mark in TTown

    A friend of mine posted this on FB, and when I saw it, I immediately thought of Jackie. This looks like something I think she would do: https://scontent.fden3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p526x296/12669717_1144124568954897_6008946662105796706_n.jpg?oh=8716210b34bfdb4461bf6e5c4f00812d&oe=59316BB6