Green Ham and Eggs

Generally, you can add “nutrition” to that list of subjects best avoided outside your inner circle, but sometimes I really like to take a chance in the strip, you know? By coincidence, I cooked a ham yesterday. It wasn’t some watery pink thing that you might as well eat right from the package, because it isn’t going to get any better. It was a monster ham that came in a cloth bag and weighed almost 18 lbs. I had always wanted to tackle such a ham but never had. When I saw it in the grocery store, I just had to have it. It had been cured somewhere in North Carolina, but I still had to bake it for five hours. That part was easy! The part that wasn’t easy was removing the enveloping skin and fat, as per the instructions on the bag. I now know why they make footballs out of pigskin. I vividly was reminded of something during the process. I was reminded of a passage from Anthony Bourdain’s best-selling breakout book, “Kitchen Confidential.” He was discussing the pressures on those who work in busy restaurant kitchens, one of those pressures being, If  you don’t show up for work, you’d better bring a note from the coroner upon your return. He concluded his discussion with (I’m paraphrasing.), “I won’t even talk about blood. Let’s just say we cooks cut ourselves. A lot!” The ham turned out well! We won’t even talk about blood.