Salad Daze

I would fully expect to be schooled about the authentic chimpanzee diet in response to the above cartoon from 2000. I know. Chimpanzees in the wild don’t eat a lot of lettuce; they do eat fruit, and they will eat meat when they come across it, i.e., catch a hapless critter and beat it to death. However, what chimps really eat is not important. This is a dinner-table conversation between man and wife. It doesn’t matter if Arlo is spot-on from a zoological standpoint. He’s just saying what anyone might say in response to one too many salads. This sort of pedantic observation by some readers is as old as the rotary press, but today, in the age of online comments, Boy Howdy!
Buy the new book, "Beaucoup Arlo & Janis!"Today's "Arlo & Janis!"

77 responses to “Salad Daze”

  1. Actually Jackie, Ghost and Dickens are still in Tulsa at the La Quinta resting up. It beats the heck out of a rehabilitation facility. Quiet and clean and dog friendly. Cheaper by far.

    Ghost is doing laundry and picking up lunch from Panera Bread. Dickens is sleeping and I am trying to keep the 20 pills down and not throw up.

    Actually I am doing well. Ghost empties my drains several times per day.

  2. I don’t know about chimps, but humans evolved as omnivores, ready to eat anything that didn’t eat them first. I won’t argue with anybody who wants to be a vegetarian, vegan, frutarian or so on, I’ll just ask them how many nutritional supplements they need to take every day to provide things their “more natural diet” doesn’t give them.

  3. What is NOT part of our paleodiets is the major starches that we cultivate: wheat, rice, barley, maize, and potatoes. Just read a major bk. rev. re that in The New Yorker. Will try to find it and post a ref. Lunch, then nap.


  4. Chimps are known to hunt and eat meat.

    You probably be happy to eat like a Bonobo (formerly called the pygmy chimpanzee) if you also get the same type of social interactions they do

  5. Wasn’t someone flogging the health benefits of “eating like an Egyptian” (not to be confused with “walking like an Egyptian”) some years back? .) At least until they started doing autopsies and MRIs and such on Egyptian mummies and found those specimens almost universally had *terrible* health problems.

  6. And now, a joke that you may adapt to your locale and your team’s rivals:

    (insert appropriate town, state here)(AP) -A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Utah courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

    The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

    The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

    After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

    After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the (insert rival team) football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

  7. Oh, it’s joke night, is it?

    A woman goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner. So that night, she does just that.

    About a week later, she’s back at the doctor’s office, and says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said. Not even five minutes later he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!”

    The doctor says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The drug company will be glad to pay for any damages.”

    “Nah,” she says, “that’s okay. We’re never going back to that restaurant anyway.”

  8. He told me about 20 jokes before hitting on one that he could possibly tell here. The other 19 were worse or at least bad enough he was afraid to share them.

    Ghost knows more jokes than anyone, all off color. He says that sales reps told them to him.

  9. At sixty years of age, I notice that my hair getting more and more silver, but really haven’t seen too many wrinkles yet. I guess that I’m lucky.

    Heard this morning that Joe Tiller, who was Purdue’s football coach for years, died this morning. I have been ” cutting onions” this afternoon watching the tributes and a game during the 2000 Rose Bowl season. I wear my school colors proudly and considered Joe a special man.

  10. In 1956 when my brother was born, there was no early warning system regarding the male/female issue like families have today. So, when my dad and his sisters told me we had driven to the hospital to bring my mother home, I was very, very happy. When they also told me we’d be bringing home a baby brother… I threw a tantrum and bit my dad.

    This little girl wasn’t too violent, just very dramatic at receiving her unwelcome news:

  11. Ten years ago today, I started my second career. With luck, I will be able to go at least six more.

    Ten years gone already…

  12. I have this strip (personalized) hanging on the wall by my bedroom door! Love me some A & J.
    Anybody hear about fulfillment of JJ’s Kickstarter? I trust it’ll happen, but can’t get update.

  13. Rick in Shermantown, Ohio: Ten years ago today, I started my second career. With luck, I will be able to go at least six more.

    You’ll end up with 8 careers.

    Let’s see, I’ve worked as a tech writer, taught college math, drove a big rig (my favorite!), worked in front office for Habitat for Humanity, and now work as a proctor in a testing center. Then there’s the volunteer stuff I’ve done…

    No wonder I feel so tired! And I’ll need 3 more careers to match you.

  14. TruckerRon:

    Good one. Yes, I did mistype a little.

    I’ve had quite a number of jobs, too. More than I care to remember.

  15. Sept. 13, 2017
    ” Speaking of stoves, I finally am back at my drawing board after having to be away the better part of two weeks, but the much-delayed book project is alone on the front burner here. I hope to wrap it up in early October. I’ve made similar predictions in the past, and it is true work has been done, but it’s way past time to deliver this thing. I owe you, and I’m on it. I’ll be talking more about this as the project swings into high gear.”

  16. Jerry, yes I saw the story. And decided not to mention it here because I didn’t want to start the week off here with horrible. That’s just my own feelings, no disrespect intended to you.

    LLee, thanks for reminding people of Jimmy’s earlier comments about the book that was part of the Kickstarter rewards. I wonder, though, about the people who wanted the artwork. Jimmy hasn’t really said anything about that, but I know Jackie, for one, got hers.

  17. I think I was supposed to get one or two of the individual character drawings, ie. Janis or Arlo or Ludwig. I never bothered Jimmy about it as I figured he was swamped and I was happy to get my original strips.

    Think I may have been largest donor but I was happy to help Jimmy with a project I thought commendable. I really owe Jimmy for all the joy and laughter he has given me in dark times.

    And Ghost keeps saying we should send Jimmy a REALLY big fruit basket. ????

  18. I intended to feed the cats, check the headlines and go back to bed, but I’ve been too upset. I’m headed that way now though. Retirement is rough.

  19. Perhaps this will help end a terrible day with a little smile…

    A woman named Jill stood up at her church’s Testimony Meeting one Sunday morning, took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:

    “I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, suffered this past month. He was riding his Harley, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, the most serious thing he suffered was a broken scrotum.”

    The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

    “Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he’s in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can’t lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new.”

    A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sank in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, “There but for the grace of God go I.”

    Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, walked slowly up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation: “My name is Jim, and I have to say to my beautiful wife, Jill, the word is ‘sternum’.”

  20. Aging can be rough, almost necessarily so in one way or another. Only rough part of retirement as such is that I miss the classroom [not the meetings, budgets, etc.]. Some remedy the classroom bit by teaching part time or individual gigs. That’s easier in some disciplines than others [e.g., fellow music emeritus has individual voice students], but I’ve gotten in a few talks to senior learning groups, a few sermons, some copy-editing, monthly newspaper columns, and lots of reading, mostly biological and theological. Those, + chronic bad time mgt., make me overly busy, but doing nothing would be rougher. Bad habits are rough.


  21. As I read about Jill, I thought “Uh, oh” as soon as she said scrotum. When she said, “He has trouble breathing,” I was sure. Had it been BUMC, I, the retired biologist next to me, the pastor [a former nurse], and probably others would have been doubled over trying not to laugh at her sad tale. Delightful.

  22. I liked this one:

    A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”
    She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
    “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
    “It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.
    “I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”
    “I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”
    He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”
    “No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”
    “Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
    “Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”
    “Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”
    “Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”
    Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”
    “Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”

  23. Rick, sarcasm, it means that you are saying the opposite of what you think in an attempt to be amusing or get a point across, obviously an ability in which I lack the necessary skill.

  24. My heart went out to my sister and her daughters with the events yesterday with Tom Petty. Numerous sources reported that he had died, based on the LAPD telling them so. As it turned out, he was declared brain dead and pulled off life support. Many people assume that once they pull the plug, life ends. However he lasted a few more hours and died last night. The erroneous report upset his family and many fans as reporting of someone’s medical condition or death without their or their family’s permission is always wrong.

    I felt bad for my sister as her husband had a cardiac arrest and doctors were able to maintain life for a few days until her daughters could arrive to say goodbye. Privately I told everyone that his chances for survival were small. But without being a Doctor and not reviewing his case, my opinion is worthless. I guess what I learned is to keep those thoughts private unless someone asks for your opinion. Then stress that it is only an opinion.

    We really jump to opinions without facts too often, don’t we?

  25. My late husband died in .minutes after being removed from life support. But we were warned it could be hours or even a day. I am glad he went fast.

    The pain is felt by survivors and family.

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